Always
by enmused
Summary: [2007 Movieverse][AU] He should have killed her. Been rid of her then and there, but his wretched spark wouldn't let him. She was young, innocent -a sparkling in need of protection. He was cruel to her, refusing his sparks urges, but he still kept coming back. She needed him, and his spark insisted he needed her. NOT ROMANCE. Some triggers for abuse and violence.
1. Chapter 1

**AN:**

All right people! Here it is, the latest and greatest plot lemming come into fruition! As stated in the description, this is an AU story based out of the 2007 movie-verse created by Michael Bay and tweaked extensively with my own creative license as the muses dictate.  
This story is going to be mostly focused on Starscream and my OC and takes place right after the battle of Mission City at the end of the first movie. Also, I have taken some liberties regarding characterization and design for some of the characters in this story by mixing some attributes from several other TF universes. So mainly, imagine Starscream less like a Dorito chicken and more like a cross between his traditional G1 appearance and Armada personality.  
If anyone seems OOC then it's my sisters fault! Also, this story is likely to be quite dark.

Have fun and don't forget to review!

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 **Warnings: This story will contain elements of mental/psychological/physical abuse, child neglect, mild use of human/Cybertronian language, and human/Cybertronian gore. Rating may increase in the future. This will be the only warning!**

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 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC's and the plot._

Beta read by my wonderful sister, _**subterraneangem**_ , who never fails to complain about my use of apostrophes.

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 **Always**

" _If all else fails, immortality can always be assured by spectacular error."  
~John Kenneth Galbraith_

 **Chapter one**

 _/Four days after the battle of Mission City…/_

The ruins left after the battle of Mission City were abandoned.

Human crews of soldiers and the combined efforts of rescue teams from all over the country had worked tirelessly to evacuate the ruined city. After the evacuation effort was finished and the media had covered the disaster of the week, the city was left empty. For a few days, soldiers and forensics officers worked to collect any remaining evidence of the Transformers, as their race had been collectively dubbed, before they also left.

All that was left was a ruined husk, barren and broken streets of caved in buildings and rubble.

The government had made up some slag-strewn cover story saying that there had been a radiation leak in the center of the city as a result of the 'haywire prototypes' that had gotten out of a robotics lab. The city was thus declared unfit for human habitation.

The humans had collectively decided to cut their losses and go elsewhere. The city was no longer worth rebuilding and they had no desire to return to the place where so many lives were lost. The city itself was to be fenced off and treated as a no-entry zone.

Mission City was simply to be forgotten.

Now Starscream was not normally one to question the pathetic natives of this planet, but it amused him greatly that the humans feared their government so much that they believed its lies so readily.

Radiation spill indeed, the battle damaged seeker thought spitefully.

He supposed he should be thankful that there wasn't any human filth hanging around. He was effectively trapped in the ruins of the city until such point in time that his self-repair systems kicked in and he could get off the planet. His com-link was down, he couldn't transform, and he was severely low on energon.

In short, he was grounded.

In long, his fellow Decepticons had left him to rust in a slow and painful manner on this pit spawned dirtball of a planet.

The Decepticons had no loyalties to the seeker.

It wasn't even that he had been abandoned that really bothered Starscream, it was that he had been abandoned because he let himself get caught foolishly attempting to shoot down Megatron.

The seeker cursed and fumed, lashing out at one of the few buildings that still stood, remembering how he had let his arrogance cloud his judgement in the heat of battle.

He should have known it wouldn't be so easy.

His plan had been so simple. All he had to do was fall into formation with the human piloted jets and bombard Megatron with his missiles. The humans alone could not hope to damage the massively armored mech with their toys, but they did provide good cover for Starscream to end his mighty leader.

That is, if they hadn't found out that he wasn't one of their own.

Starscream had just aligned his sights on his soon to be former leader's ugly faceplates when the human jets had turned on him and starting firing at his thrusters without warning.

He had panicked and fired, missing Megatron by inches.

When the enraged mech's optics made contact with the seeker's alt-mode, Starscream had turned tail and ran like a coward. The human jets were easily disposed of in his hasty retreat and he managed to fly out to the outer edge of the city before his thrusters gave out. He went into stasis lock shortly after crashing into a building.

His entire plan had ended him up in this nightmare of an existence.

He was a fool to think he could destroy Megatron on his own.

He needed more time to plan and recover, plant seeds and find those who would follow his lead rather than the insanity that their leader had lost himself to. However, it would be a long time before then, if ever. Because he was too proud, too arrogant, and thought that he could take down Megatron by himself.

He should have died.

But his continued existence was nothing new to Starscream. For reasons unknown even to him, Starscream would always, inexplicably, survive.

Unfortunately, his continued survival also meant waking up half dead and in indescribable amounts of pain was also nothing new to him.

Starscream had barely been able to transform back to his root mode upon his return to consciousness -more than likely damaging himself further in the process. It had between excruciating to say the least, but it was better than staying trapped underneath the collapsed building. Not only had the dust and debris clogged his vents but also his seeker claustrophobia had gotten the best of him. Hence the slightly panicked eruption of seeker from the rubble.

He could only be thankful that there had been no one else around to see his disheveled state.

By the time he had collected himself enough to catalog his damages and get his bearings, the battle had long since finished.

Starscream could only assume that the Autobots had won, seeing that he was still functioning. Had Megatron come out undefeated he most assuredly would have been hunted down and off-lined. Worse, held in front of the tracks and humiliated as a traitor -a traitor that failed no less.

The seeker had managed to hunker down and wait it out while the humans scoured the ruined city. In the meanwhile, Starscream had attempted to repair what he could with his nonexistent supplies. Finding any parts among the rubble was not a promising prospect.

Starscream cursed.

The humans turned out to be annoyingly efficient creatures when motivated properly.

So with little hope and even littler success, Starscream had been picking through the destroyed city in search of anything that he could use to repair himself.

For three days he had been scrounging like a starving glitchmouse. The seeker was beyond frustration at how low he had fallen. Starscream, he who had been second in command of the entire Decepticon army and successfully led thousands of troops into battle, now was nothing more than a pitiful excuse for a seeker.

His spark churned unhappily at the amount of rage and self-depreciation he was feeling -although it might just have been because he was so low on energon.

Of all his non-essential systems that were currently offline, be it from his damages or to conserve energon. His self-diagnostics remained steadfast in their attempts to alert him of all that was wrong with his frame. It was one of the few things that Starscream could _not_ turn off and the constant reminders popping up on his HUD were not helpful in improving his mood.

The seeker paused in his half-sparked searching to rest on the remains of a two-story building.

Starscream frowned as he checked his levels for the umpteenth time in the last four joors -his energon reserves were not lasting as long as he had hoped. He had, fortunately or unfortunately, had two cubes of energon stored in his subspace. However, he was currently unable to access them, his subspace systems having been heavily damaged as well.

 _Frag_.

With a low snarl the seeker stood once more, his back struts creaking from the abuse Starscream put on his frame.

He couldn't afford to sit and wait for his self-repair systems to heal him. He refused. Even if he was injured to the point of death he would keep moving. He had too.

If he didn't he'd go crazy before his self-repairs got anywhere close to finished.

That is, if he didn't deactivate first from energon deprivation.

The irony of his life never ceased to amaze him. Mostly it was just frustrating though.

Right now he just needed to prioritize. First thing on the list was to repair his subspace. Not just because he needed energon -which he desperately did need- but because he also needed to be able to access his weapons systems.

If an Autobot were to stumble upon him now, he would be completely defenseless. Defenseless, not helpless.

Starscream was certainly not helpless. Even damaged as he was and without his weapons systems, he still had his wits about him and decavorns of experience. This was certainly not the first time he'd been in this kind of situation and would not be the last -if he survived.

The Decepticon army was not kind to its members.

Even if he got himself repaired enough to get off of this insipid mud speck he still wouldn't be in the clear.

Megatron or no Megatron, he would be targeted instantly as a traitor. No, if he wanted to return to the Decepticons, it would have to be as their leader.

But he was getting ahead of himself again.

If Starscream ever wanted to get his revenge on Megatron, he would have to repair his subspace access first.

Priorities, he reminded himself vehemently.

 _Priorities_.

* * *

Not so far away a small form shifted underneath a thick layer of rubble and debris, coughing dryly at all the dust in her throat. She couldn't breathe!

Why couldn't she breathe?

Small swollen hands came up to rub the painful crusts away from her eyes and large brown orbs blinked open and panic flowed freely through the young girl as her lungs began to burn. Everything was dark and she couldn't see past her own grime covered hands. There was dust everywhere, in her nose, in her eyes, in her mouth.

She couldn't breathe!

The young girl coughed again, this time not able to catch her breath as easily afterwards.

She needed to get out of here, but she didn't know where she was to start with.

Where was her mama? Why wasn't her mama helping her up?

Her mama had taken her shopping, the girl remembered. She had been so excited to go shopping with her mama. Normally she was always told no, but this time her mama had said yes because she was a big girl now.

Tears welled up in those dark brown eyes, leaving salty trails of mud on her face.

Everything had happened so fast! There had been explosions everywhere and soldiers telling her mama where to go. They had been running, but there was so many people... She remembered her hand slipping out of her mama's grip and getting lost in the crowds of screaming people. There were people bumping in to her on all sides and she had fallen down and skinned her knees.

The people just kept running over the top of her, stepping on her fingers and tripping on her legs.

Crying, the young girl had crawled underneath of something to hide and wait for her mama to find her. The people kept running and pushing past, all desperate to get away from something she couldn't see.

All she heard was one explosion after another, each one seeming to be louder until she could feel the ground shaking underneath her palms. Then there was one last explosion and she felt something hit her head before everything went black.

And now she was alone in the dust and dirt, she couldn't see and she couldn't breathe.

So she did what any young girl would do in such a situation.

She started crying. Loudly.

She cried until she couldn't anymore, and then continued screaming despite the pressure in her lungs and the spots in her vision. There was no room for the scrawny girl to stand in the small hollow formed by the rubble around her, but even if there had been, she knew she wouldn't have been able to stand. Even now she could feel the darkness creeping into her vision -a swirling spotted mass that made her dizzy. The small girl screamed until she went hoarse and her ears throbbed from the shrillness of her own voice.

The girl started gasping, her cries continuing with renewed force as she scrabbled at the rubble walls with dirty and bruised hands.

She couldn't breathe!


	2. Chapter 2

**AN:**

 **Okay, so I admit, Alexis is based slightly off the Alexis Dai Thang from Armada. HOWEVER, she is** _ **not**_ **Alexis. She is still her own character, as you will all come to see in the future chapters. Also, she looks different so there, :P. Pretty much the only similarity they have is Starscream and their relationship is NOT romantic, nor will it ever be.**

 **Special thanks to** _SunnySides_ **for reviewing and to everyone else who fav/followed this story! Please remember to keep reviewing! It really makes it easier to churn out the chapters for you guys!**

 **Anyhow, I hope you guys enjoy this second chapter of Always! Watch your step! It gets pretty dark. *insert evil giggle***

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 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

Beta read by my amazing sister, _**subterraneangem**_. Seriously, go read her stuff!

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 **Always**

" _Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and a deep heart."  
~Feodor Mikhailovich Dostoyevsky_

 **Chapter Two**

Starscream couldn't stand it anymore!

That infernal noise that kept echoing through his processors, just at the edge of his range of perception. It was driving him mad.

At first, he had thought it to be a glitch with his audios, but when it continued to persist he became otherwise convinced. He had honed in on the source of the wretched noise and was quickly coming to the conclusion that he was glitched.

It was simple as that. He was finally succumbing to his substantial injuries and was slowly turning into a rusted pile of glitched mech.

Then he heard it again -this time louder and much more distinct. His spark lurched inside its casing and Starscream frowned, his lips curling. The second he could receive proper medical attention he was going to have his spark scanned for any abnormalities. At least, any additional abnormalities.

The sounds cut off abruptly and Starscream was suddenly struck by a strong sense of wrongness.

 _Wrong._ His spark seemed to resonate.

 _ **Wrong.**_

Starscream ignored it, continuing his search for the materials he needed. His pedes carried him onward as he picked through the rubble.

 _ **WRONG.**_

The seeker's helm cocked as Starscream paused, dropping the crossbeam he had been holding. The mech snarled harshly at his madly swirling spark and gave in, if for no other reason than to get rid of whatever it was that ailed him.

… And he might have been a little curious.

The disturbance in his spark only increased the longer he followed the tiny pulls. They all led in one direction and Starscream eventually wound up close to the center of the ruined city. The seeker scowled at his surroundings. He was looking for something, anything that might catch his attention or be considered unusual, but he had no idea what he was looking for.

The destruction was the worst here and hardly any of the remains were recognizable as once being part of a proud city. Nearly every single building had collapsed, both during the battle and in the aftermath. Only a sparse few still stood and even then -they were far from structurally sound.

Starscream's optics landed on a small alcove where a large slab of cement, likely from the tower propped up on the complex across from it, had fallen on top of a loose pile of stone and rebar.

 _There._

The seeker's crimson optics narrowed, flickering slightly as he attempted a short range scan. Starscream cursed softly when a warning on his HUD briefly obscured his vison before he mentally flicked it away. He didn't have enough energy to do a scan.

Frag. Why couldn't anything just be simple? Or easy?

Because he was Starscream and apparently Primus hated him.

His spark wouldn't let him walk away though and this only riled up the seeker more. Fine then, he'd had to do it by servo, it seemed, if he was to assuage his spark's misplaced anxiety.

 _Gently._

Starscream growled lowly, his vocoder rumbling darkly as he reached forward to lift the slab of cement. It was heavier than he had expected, but it was still easy for him to toss it aside with a soft grunt. Had he been at full strength he could have flicked it away with one servo.

The seeker crouched down, digging through the loose crumbles of cement and throwing it to the side. Starscream hissed when a large piece of steel got caught in the joints of his digits –nicking one of the smaller wires. But he didn't stop digging.

It wasn't something he had control of anymore.

Starscream continued sifting through the rubble until his servos reached a small pocket where two larger pieces of cement formed a tiny envelope of sorts. The seeker paused for a fraction of a moment before breaking through it with a renewed sense of urgency.

He _had_ to find it.

He had to get to it before it was too late.

Then, curled up in fetal position and covered with dust and grime, he found a body. Everything came to a screeching halt for Starscream, his spark wrenching when he realized it was a sparkling.

Suddenly, he was in control again and his actions and his thoughts were his own.

Starscream's lip plates curled in disgust at the frail organic body that rested in his servo, before he dumped it roughly out of his grasp. The tiny thing landed with a light thud on the ground.

How disgusting that the humans had no sense of responsibility, Starscream thought darkly. That they would abandon their young in favor of their own lives! It sickened the seeker as he turned away and rose to his pedes. This is why their pitiful species needed a ruler. Someone to give order to the chaotic world they had built with no regard of their futures or the futures of their offspring.

But then there was a gasp.

A breath of life.

His spark instantly relaxed and whirred at a much slower pace. The strain he hadn't even realized he had been feeling left his spark in an instant with that small, feeble intake.

Starscream turned on his heel thruster, directing his gaze on the human sparkling –this time actually looking at it.

The small human turned over weakly so that the sun was in its face. The organic creature had dirty yellow filaments flowing from its helm and a dark trail of what he knew to be the human life source – _blood_ \- was crusted along the side of its face.

When the young girl woke up, it was because the sun was in her eyes and that always meant it was time to get out of bed. The girl groaned, her throat cracking painfully.

Why was she so sore?

Dark brown eyes flickered open before it all came back to her. The explosions! Then it had been dark and she couldn't breathe!

But she could breathe now, and the sun was in her eyes.

The girl sat up slowly, her head throbbing. A swollen and bruised hand came up to her forehead, feeling the crustiness around her hairline. It flaked off in large reddy brown chunks and the wound on her forehead promptly started bleeding again. The girl swallowed painfully, her lungs hitching as she started to panic.

There was blood on her favorite pink shirt and blood on her yellow jumper and blood on her shorts. Her knees were scraped and bleeding and her fingers were purple and bruised from being stepped on. But the blood was what frightened her. The bright red streaming from her forehead and clumping her hair to her pale and dirty face was the worse though.

She'd never seen so much blood before! And it was coming from her!

Fear welled up in her chest, her throat constricting tightly as she looked around. It was very quiet, and not at all the way a city should sound. The second thing she noticed was that there was no people.

She was alone.

Then she saw the giant metal thing leaning over her and screamed, only to discover that she couldn't because her throat was so raw. Instead, she scrambled back as far as she could until her back came up against a wall and her eyes widened dramatically.

Two large crimson eyes stared back at her unblinkingly, the strange metallic face they were in watching her with equal amounts of confusion and disgust.

But then, she realized she wasn't afraid of him, for he was definitely a he in her mind, and she watched him watch her with the same level of curiosity. He had to be just as scared as she was, being all alone in the ruined city, she thought as naively as a child would.

"What are you?" The girl asked quietly, hoarsely, wincing painfully as her vocal cords cracked.

Starscream reared backwards slightly, his lips pulling back in a sneer, "Not of your concern fleshling."

The seeker stood to his full height, smirking at the human creature's awe, and began walking away as steadily as his injuries would allow. His spark whirred at his actions, but it was not nearly so bad as it had been. This he could easily ignore.

The human sparkling would either live or die of starvation. It was not of his concern.

And yet, his spark hummed lowly with doubt.

Starscream slowed, his servos clenching when he heard the telltale pitter patter of tiny steps coming from behind him. It would be kinder to kill the flesh bag now rather than let the organic perish slowly.

The seeker turned around and powered up his one remaining null ray, leveling it steadily at the tiny human sparkling running towards him. The girl came to a stop, having climbed up a pile of rubble in a pathetic attempt to bring herself closer to his eye level. She was breathing heavily and clutching her sides as she heaved air.

Then she saw the thrumming glow of the weapon a few feet from her face. Her brown eyes widened when she felt the heat being emitted from it.

Her tiny blonde head tilted to the side, "Are you going to shoot me?" She asked with all the innocence of a child.

Starscream's faceplates hardened, "Yes." He replied simply.

"Why?"

The seeker fought against the wavering of his aiming servo when he answered, "Because you will die anyways."

 _Wrong._

"Oh." The girl stated, her voice cracking slightly –though not from fear. It kinda made sense to her, even if she wasn't all that fond of dying.

The small human stood still for a moment, her feet shifting every so often while she chewed on her lip thoughtfully.

 _ **Wrong.**_

"What's your name?" She asked abruptly, looking up at him with wide brown eyes.

Starscream's optics shuttered in surprise at unexpected question. He supposed it would only be fair to allow her this one last request. He quickly stamped down on the thought that he might simply be stalling.

"Starscream." He answered lowly without really realizing he had spoken, "My name is Starscream."

Former Decepticon Air Commander, leader of the Elite Seeker Trine, pride of the Cybertron War Academy, and one of the only war frames to ever graduate from the Crystal City Science Academy.

And his null rays were now aimed at a sparkling.

"I'm Alexis!" The girl chirped, startling Starscream from his thoughts. "But everyone calls me Lexi, so you can too."

Starscream's jaw clenched tightly, his denta gritting together with the strain. He had had enough talking. This entire ordeal was a waste of his time –time he could be using to locate the items he needed to repair himself.

Faceplates impassive, Starscream focused his null ray on the human organic. The tiny creature pushed back a few strands of its yellow filaments and stared right back at him with dark brown optics.

 _ **WRONG.**_

Starscream sneered and fired.

His spark felt like it was on fire and screamed in anguish when he made his shot. The essence of his very being turned in turmoil, assaulting his spark chamber with its chaotic tumult. His spark writhed and sputtered angrily at his own actions.

 _Wrong_. _**Wrong**_. _**WRONG.**_

Starscream never realized he had fallen to his knee bolts with the sudden onslaught of warnings suddenly flaring up in his vision.

She was nothing more than a sparkling.

 **Warning: Energon levels below recommended level. Refuel is highly suggested.**

He had killed a sparkling.

 **Warning: Stasis lock imminent.**

 _A sparkling!_

 **Attention: Now entering emergency stasis lock.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:**

 **Alright! Another chapter bites the dust! Author's note at the end for reasons.**

 _ **To SunnySides:**_ Well, I can't give out any spoilers, but that will certainly be addressed in the future! Until then, enjoy this chapter! And again no spoilers, but you'll find out about Alexis this chapter! **  
** _ **To TatteredAngel42 : **_Glad you liked it! Here is another update so that you don't have any medical complications due to impatience! We wouldn't want that now would we? XD

 **I just want to thank everyone for all the reviews and fav's/follows of this story. Please do keep it up! Your guy's feedback is what keeps me going! Enjoy chapter three~!**

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 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

Beta read by my amazing sister, _**subterraneangem**_. Her stories are amazing too!

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 **Always**

" _Where there is anger, there is always pain underneath."  
~Eckhart Tolle_

 **Chapter Three**

Alexis stood stock still, waiting to feel the heat of the weapon pointed at her face. Eyes scrunched up, shoulders hunched together –her entire body instinctively taking a defensive position.

She had recognized the look on Starscream's face.

It was the same look her father used to get before he was taken away. It was the look that said they were going to do something really bad, but wouldn't stop themselves either. It usually meant she was going to be hit or beaten. It depended on what she had done wrong at the time.

She didn't believe that she had done anything wrong to make Starscream want to hurt her, but she often never knew what she had done to make her father hurt her.

So she stood quietly curled into herself, waiting for what was to come.

One brown eye cracked open after several moments of waiting, right as there was a loud thud and the ground jumped –causing her to lose her balance.

A short gasp left her when she found the giant metal being collapsed on the ground and she instantly began climbing down from her perch on top of the rubble. The being wasn't moving and Alexis could see its glowing red eyes dimming.

Had she done something?

She didn't know what to do! She didn't want him to die –even if he was going to hurt her. She just didn't want to be alone.

The small girl fretted, her hands wringing together. What was she supposed to do now?

Hesitantly, Alexis dared to step closer to the unmoving mech and ever so gently poke the side of his head. Nothing happened, and the small girl let out a breath she never realized she had been holding.

The metal giant seemed to be unconscious.

Or dead, Alexis thought as she swallowed nervously. She didn't know what she was supposed to do next.

Sometimes, when her father used to come home late at night, he would pass out on the sofa and she would sometimes think he was dead. The first time he had done so Alexis had been six years old and asked her mama if daddy had died. She had been in tears then. After nearly two years of it though, she would sometimes wish he had been dead.

The blonde girl's head shook harshly as she stopped that train of thought before it went any further. He was gone now and she wasn't supposed to think of him anymore. Her and her mama didn't need him; they were just fine on their own. They had been happy for the first time, just the two of them living in the city.

Taking a deep breath –she _could_ breathe!- to steel her nerves, before she prodded at Starscream's head again.

 _Starscream._

It was such a strange name. Alexis had heard of lots of strange names at the school she used to go to and they were just as nice as anyone else was, so she wouldn't judge. Besides, if anything was strange about her new metal friend it wasn't his name.

Starscream wasn't a bad name in any case, she thought. She actually rather liked his name. She felt like it fit him perfectly –even if she knew next to nothing about him. It just _felt_ like it should be his.

There was still no response from the giant metal being.

Her confidence boosted by this discovery, Alexis every so silently began to climb up what looked like an arm. The metal armor was sharp and jagged, swooping gracefully in some places and spiking outwards in others. It was hard to climb up without slipping on the smooth metal surfaces or cutting her fingers when trying to get a better grip.

Eventually her stubbornness gave way to victory as she successfully scaled the appendage and was able to scramble onto Starscream's back.

It was then that Alexis realized that he had wings.

Large, flat spans of metal spread out majestically across his back, decorated with military signs and numbers that she had no understanding of. She was simply in awe.

One of her biggest dreams, one that had been with her throughout her entire life, was to fly. She never cared how, if it were in a plane, a jet, or a hot air balloon or with wings of her own –one day she would be able to fly. Somehow.

She just _had_ to.

Maybe Starscream was an angel?

Her mama talked about angels sometimes, how that they protected people and showed up just when you needed them. When Alexis had asked if she'd ever seen one her mama had told her no with a small shake of her head, but she always said that she believed angels were beautiful winged creatures sent from the heavens. Maybe Starscream was her guardian angel sent to protect her?

Then the being under her feet shifted, and Alexis yelped at the unexpected movement –clinging to the nearest outcrop of metal she could reach.

When the movement stopped, Alexis fell to her knees with her fear catching in her throat and tightening the raw muscles painfully.

It was probably time for her to go hide now.

Alexis clambered back down the way she came up and grinned when she managed to make it back down to the ruined street without accidentally hurting herself. She was quickly able to spot a nook in a half-collapsed apartment building where she could hide and still be able to see the streets clearly.

She was good at hiding.

It was something she learned to be good at.

She sucked in a sharp breath of air when Starscream shifted again –a soft mechanical groan coming from his body. She hoped he wouldn't be mad that she was still there. She didn't fully understand _why_ , but she felt drawn to him, and not just because he had wings.

She just…

It wasn't something she could easily explain.

For now, she would settle with curiosity.

* * *

 **Attention: Emergency reserves accessed.**

 **Proceed with activation protocols? Y/N**

 **Y.**

 **Systems activating.**

Starscream groaned, his systems rebooting sluggishly as he tried to recall what had forced him offline. He was on earth. Mission city. The Allspark. Megatron.

Crimson red optics flashed open with a striking intensity before dimming back down to their normal red glow.

The sparkling.

 **Warning: Energon levels critically low.**

 **Warning: All non-essential systems will be terminated. Abort? Y/N.**

His spark writhed in agony at what he had done, screaming at him relentlessly.

He had killed a sparkling!

Starscream snarled, his servos clenched into fists around the pathetic remains of a building as he rose to his thrustered pedes. He steadfastly ignored all the warnings popping up on his HUD, far more occupied trying to regain control over his spark.

 **Attention: All nonessential systems have been terminated. Refuel is highly suggested.**

No! He had killed an insect. A squishy meatbag that had no hope of surviving anyways. It had been a mercy really.

-But it had been a _sparkling!_

For whatever slag-helmed reason, the seeker glanced over at where the human sparkling had stood. He didn't know if it was for closure or some kind of morbid curiosity -he'd never actually shot an organic point blank with his null rays before- but he did anyways.

Only to find that their was no sign of its remains.

Starscream's spark was a whirlwind of shock and relief and many other emotions foreign to him; emotions like concern and a needed to protect.

The only time he'd ever had any emotion similar was when his brothers -his trinemates- were nearby. But it has been many many vorns since he had last seen his trine or felt anything through his bonds with them. And this wasn't anywhere close to that.

It wasn't a bond, but it was an impulse just as strong as one. Starscream did not appreciate the strange and unwelcome feelings.

And yet, he still stood there looking for the fleshling insect's remains.

It dawned on Starscream very suddenly that he was very stupid to attempt to fire any kind of shot in his state of disrepair and energon deprivation. It was highly likely that in doing so he had sent himself into stasis without ever firing a shot.

The human sparkling was probably long gone by now if it had any sense.

The seeker stamped down firmly on his spark's illicit desire to seek out and find the sparkling. The human could hardly be considered a sparkling and he made that very clear to himself.

Stupid slagging sparkling protocols were acting up because of that stupid scrapling of a human.

He had thought them long since deactivated, however evidence was starting to suggest otherwise. He couldn't deal with them now. He couldn't do anything about them right now anyways, not with his systems as slagged up as they were at the moment.

Setting his shoulder bolts straight, Starscream clamped down harshly on everything that wasn't his main priority.

And his main priority was repairing himself enough to access his subspace and his energon rations.

Not some human insect.

Several groons later found Starscream a few blocks away and sitting down heavily with supplies in servo. It was hardly enough to be considered anything more than scrap metal, but Starscream was used to working with less than usable materials. He was nothing if not intuitive when it came to his continued survival.

The sun was well past its peak and Starscream would only have a few short earth hours before he ran out of light. The earth's cycles were far too short to be useful, the seeker noted bitterly. He had yet to decide if he should wait until the next cycle or start working now in hope that he would finish before he couldn't see anymore.

His systems were damaged enough as it was without him rooting around his own frame in the dark.

In the end, Starscream decided to patch up some of his less pressing injuries. By doing so, he hoped that he could at least slow down some of his energon leaks and help boost his repair systems. Anything to keep him alive long enough to get off this disgusting mud sphere.

His servos were straining to patch a clump of exposed wires in his left thruster heel when his sensitive audios picked up a soft clatter and a short intake of air.

Starscream growled lowly and cursed.

Apparently, he was being watched.

The seeker discretely turned back to his patch job on his thruster while very carefully tuning up his audio receptors. He could now hear the rapid pattering of a small organic fuel pump and quiet breaths being taken every few klicks.

Crimson red optics flashed and his helm whipped around to where he heard a nearly inaudible gasp and saw a small shift of cement dust and rubble slide down from a large mound. There was a flicker of movement and Starscream's spark trilled softly at the glimpse of a small dirty helm of yellow filaments.

The seeker snarled and snapped his attention back to his repairs. He was losing daylight.

There were no more signs of movement, but he could still hear a frail heartbeat at the very edge of his range.

It soon became apparent that he had given the human sparkling too much credit. This squishy scraplet obviously had no sense of self-preservation whatsoever.

But as he finished off his marginally successful patch job on his thruster –upon closer inspection he had discovered his thrusters were beyond inoperable- Starscream was able to better take in his situation. He was going to need some parts that he could guarantee he would not find in the ruins of this city.

His was quickly coming to realize that he was not going to be going anywhere for a good many cycles, perhaps even orns. He could do little about it though, so there was no point in doing anything other than continuing what repairs he could, as fast as he could.

He never did very well when he was grounded.

At the very least, he could be thankful he had open skies all around him.

However, Starscream was not often one to be thankful and instead focused on being angry. Anger he could control, manipulate. Anything else he might be feeling right now left him weak –so he would cut them off.

He would not allow himself to feel anything less than anger at his current situation. He couldn't afford to feel anything other than that.

Starscream's spark hummed unhappily with a swell of anger and the seeker's lips lifted with a tiny smirk.

Yes, anger he could nurture. Anger he could feed. Anger gave him strength to keep fighting. Anger made it easy to forget the things he had lost in the past.

Starscream hissed lowly at the errant path his thoughts had taken and the gentle straining of his spark looking for something it could not reach. He had been sitting in the dark for several long moments, the earth sun having fully set nearly a groon ago. The seeker's optics rebooted, the blood red orbs brightening owlishly. He had not noticed the passage of time.

The small heartbeat had not moved, it was still there at the edge of his sensors like a nagging thought.

And yet he could feel his spark settle with the gentle rhythm that no doubt indicated the organic had fallen into its recharge cycle.

Starscream glowered, conflicted.

Eventually the seeker's optics dimmed even as he activated his own recharge protocols. It would do him no good to burn out the last of his reserves by staying online when he could be replenishing what little energy he could. Still, as he eyed a small shadow in the corner of optics, Starscream wondered.

* * *

 **Well then…**

 **So we now have some insight on Alexis's past. This is really important because it sets some of the foundation for why she reacts the way she does around ol' Screamer. Also for those who might be wondering, I put Alexis at around 9 years old at the start of this story. She would have been around 7-8 when the authorities took her 'father' away on multiple counts of abuse. And what about her mama you ask? Well, you'll just have to wait and see! Hehehe…**

 **As for Starscream… He's not going to be kind to our poor little girl. His spark might be telling him she's a sparkling, but he is going to do everything in his power to make her life miserable because his spark won't let him kill her. So he kinda hates her for that. He is not a nice person to be around right now.**

 **Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN:**

 **Hello all, this is the chapter I'm sure you've all been waiting for –the chapter where we actually get to see Alexis and Starscream properly interacting. Well, at least as properly as a human child and the alien that tried to kill her can interact.**

 **Hehe, yep, this was certainly a fun one to write.**

 ** _Dear SunnySides:_** Oh, he won't be coming around for a while yet. He has a lot of issues right now and as far as he's concerned Alexis is just another one on his list. *yoda voice* Much anger I sense in this one, yes? Haha, not to worry though, these things take time!

 **Hope you guys like this chapter! Be sure to review and tell me what you think!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

Beta read by my amazing sister, _**subterraneangem**_. Seriously, go read her stuff!

* * *

 **Always**

" _There is always more misery among the lower classes than there is humanity in the higher."  
~Victor Hugo_

 **Chapter Four**

Starscream came out of stasis with a jolt, his systems frantically trying to keep up with his rapidly awakening frame. He was struggling to remember where he was and not being able to see anything through the clouds of warnings and notifications popping up on his HUD and spamming his vision did not help in the slightest.

It took far longer than it should have for him to get ahold of himself and regain his bearings.

He was inside a half-collapsed warehouse where he had set up his temporary hideout.

Starscream growled lowly, brought a servo to his nasal bridge, and checked his energon levels.

24 percent.

 _Slag_.

That was close to 6 percent lower than they were before he had gone into recharge. His internal repair systems were sapping his energon faster than he could possibly replenish it. At this rate his own nanites would be the death of him. There was no way for him to turn the systems off; he did need them to repair his battle torn frame after all. He figured that even if he did he would still have the same problem, only not from repairs but from the internal bleeding he was sure he had. That would probably drain his remaining energon faster than anything else.

So he left his self-repair systems be.

If he could only access his subspace systems, he could ration out the few cubes he had stored on his person. One could never appreciate what they had until they could no longer had it. How ironic would it be to die of energon depletion with a two full cubes in his subspace? The universe's cruel sense of humor was not lost on Starscream.

He needed to repair his subspace systems.

Deciding that he needed a more efficient means of tracking his search, Starscream turned to the wall he had spent the night leaning up against and began marking out a grid of the fallen city. His deadly curved talons scraped easily against cement wall –leaving clear lines behind every mark. While not the most ideal means of mapping the area, Starscream would rather do this than waste what little energy he had left scanning and mapping a digital copy in his processor.

So far he had explored only a small section of the city, Starscream realized absently as he drew the map from his memory when he had circled the city from above before the battle.

The seeker hummed lowly, thoroughly absorbed in his work as he divided the city into single hic quandrants to explore. The way he had been scouring the city before was extremely inefficient and it disgusted Starscream that he had forgotten everything experience had taught him so easily.

Starscream's dark musings were interrupted by a sudden shriek and the tell tale shifting of debris indicating that he was not entirely alone.

The seekers lip curled as he realized that the constant pattering of the human insect's fuel pump had failed to cease during his recharge cycle.

How unfortunate.

Further analysis of the rapid rhythm, however, told him that the organic was still in some form of recharge -although it was obvious it was not restful. Starscream's spark swirled discontentedly when the sparkling continued to emit soft sounds of distress. He ignored it.

Night terrors were not something he was terribly fond of despite being quite familar with them, both in himself and in others. They were simply another side affect of war. And Starscream had long since become immune to such unpleasant side affects.

The sounds died down just about the time Starscream had decided his map was as accurate as it was going to get. The seeker could still hear the sparkling's rapidly thumping fuel pump at the edge of his range as it slowly returned to a normal rhythm. His spark sighed softly with misguided relief.

Starscream made a sour face, disgusted at his lack of control over his own spark.

"You forgot the warehouse." A small drowsy voice piped up from behind him and Starscream whirled around with his null rays aimed at the source.

Alexis flinched noticeably, but didn't back away.

The giant metal being snarled lowly and lowered its arms, "What warehouse?!" he hissed harshly.

"The secret one." The girl stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. A tiny smirk grew on her face at the mech's confused and furious expression. At least that what she thought it was. It was hard to read the metal man's face.

"Tell. Me." Starscream ordered demandingly, his denta grinding together.

Fearlessly, or at least what she hoped looked fearless, Alexis jumped down from her hiding spot and walked over to the wall Starscream had used to draw his map. It took up the entire wall and most of it she couldn't reach.

"It's underground. I found it when I was exploring." When she had been hiding. "It was full of boxes and weird things." It had reminded her a lot of her old dentist, with all the important looking equipment -although she had no idea why there would be a dentist under her apartment building.

Alexis looked the map up and down, looking for something in particular. When she found it, she pointed excitedly, "There! It's under the apartment house where I live!" she declared, jumping up and down to try and reach where she was pointing.

Starscream leaned forward, his frame creaking ominously above her and Alexis shrunk back closer to the wall. He drew a light 'X' over the building she had indicated.

He could feel her fear through the increase in her heartrate, he could smell it coming off her. He didn't relish in like he normally would, but he grinned viciously down at her anyways.

In one swift movement Starscream turned away and broke the brief optic contact –leaving the squishy sparkling desperately clutching the wall. She never looked away though.

Crouching low, the seeker ducked out of the building and set off in the direction of the underground warehouse. He had a feeling that the warehouse contained much more than the human sparkling could comprehend. Certainly something worth investigating in any case.

Alexis stood there quietly, taking short steady breaths to calm herself as she slid down the wall and landed on her rear with a heavy thump.

Breathe. Just keep breathing. She was okay. He hadn't hurt her.

 _Yet._

Alexis shook her head violently, dirty locks of blonde hair clinging to her face. She wasn't afraid of him, but he still scared her. She didn't want to be afraid of him. She wasn't supposed to be afraid of her guardian angel was she?

Besides, he hadn't killed her when she thought he was going to, so that must mean there was some good in him.

Right?

It took the girl a good few minutes before her knees would hold her weight without shaking. Alexis quickly decided that she would follow Starscream and let him lead her back to her apartment so that she could get some food and water. She was starving and her throat ached and burned painfully from her screaming earlier. Maybe she could find some of her clothes as well –the ones she had on were smelly and stiff from dried blood and other grime.

Her stomach rumbled hollowly as if to further punctuate her thoughts. Yes, food would be good and she didn't know how to get back to her apartment on her own anyways.

Mind made up, Alexis scrambled haphazardly through the fallen pieces of rubble and made her way out onto the streets. She could barely see where Starscream went, but was quickly able to catch up to him when she caught a glimpse of his massive wings around the corner of a ruined building.

As she got closer to him, she knew he had sensed her presence when he stiffened and his wings flicked rigidly upwards.

Other than that one small tell, Starscream simply continued walking and ignored her steadfastly. Alexis could tell he was ignoring her because he wouldn't look in her direction even if she was right there for him to see. She followed him for a few moments longer –having to nearly jog to keep up with his giant footsteps.

The little girl trailed behind him silently for a few moments before she felt it start weighing heavily on her.

"Thank-you." She said suddenly, surprising even herself.

Now this made Starscream pause, even if only for a second. The seeker snorted, glancing down at the tiny human scraplet with contempt. "What do you have to be thankful for, fleshling?"

Alexis slowed down, biting her lip all while holding Starscream's gaze. "Thank you for not killing me." Starscream frowned, his optics narrowing as she continued. "I know you wanted too, but you didn't." She offered, looking down and shrugging her shoulders.

Starscream didn't know what to make of her sincerity.

The seeker chuckled lowly, then laughed out loud. The human insect really believed that he had spared her of his own will?

"You know nothing." Starscream stated caustically, his tone sharp and derisive. "You honestly think I spared your worthless life? Let me tell you now, you are only alive because you are not worth the energon it would take to kill you."

His words were cruel and ate through her like acid, despite her knowing that they were true. Her father had always told her the same thing and now Starscream was too. How could it not be true?

Tears rapidly welled up in her big brown eyes as she processed the words, but she refused to give him the satisfaction of seeing her cry.

Not that he would care.

Swallowing thickly, Alexis steeled herself and kept walking behind the mech, although at a much more subdued pace. She ducked her face under the collar of her shirt, scrubbing fiercely at her tears. She was a strong girl, just like her mama always told her. She wouldn't let her meanie angel make her cry.

It seemed like only moments passed before they finally came up to her apartment complex.

It brought Alexis a huge surge of relief to see her home. It was one of the few buildings that remained relatively unscathed in the battle. A few windows were shattered here and there and it looked like a wall on the far side had caved in without disturbing the rest of the building. Aside from that, it was in pretty good shape.

Alexis found herself smiling despite everything else and ran ahead of Starscream and into the building. Her apartment was on the third floor and her mother always left a spare key with the receptionist under the keyboard. She grabbed it quickly and rushed up the stairs.

She was home.

* * *

Starscream inspected the building with a wary glance and hummed lowly to himself. It would be no easy task gaining entry to whatever warehouse lay hidden underneath. His scanners were useless until he had the energon required to run them. He was essentially blind to everything hidden from his optics. He didn't like it.

He watched the human sparkling enter the building in a frenzied rush. The seeker cared little for the squishy's motives and let it be.

He didn't need the distraction in any case.

He tapped lighty with his thruster pede, his helm cocking slightly as he focused on the hollow sound and felt the echoing vibrations through his thrusters. Starscream's lips curled.

He despised the idea of going underground.

However, underground or not, Starscream would do whatever needed to be done to get off the filthy planet he was currently stranded on.

But first he had to find a way to actually get into the bunker.

The winged mech glanced at the one remaining missile attached to his upper arm. While he currently had no way of firing the explosive, the missile itself would still be servicable. It would simply be a matter of manually detaching the balistic weapon and rigging it to blow while he took cover.

Starscream grimaced at what he was about to do and placed a clawed servo around the missile mounted on his appendage. Gritting his denta, Starscream slowly vented out and yanked -ripping the attached explosive straight out of his arm.

The seeker let out a short roar of pain, startling a small flock of carrion birds, before clamping down on his vocoder and stifling his pain to a series of low hisses and vulgarities. A string of increasingly urgent alerts began popping up on his HUD, notifying him of his newly inflicted damages.

He was leaking out what precious energon he had left and he only had a few klicks to patch himself up before the self inflicted damages sent him into stasis lock.

Ever so carefully, Starscream placed the still active explosive to the side and swiftly went to work on clamping down the energon lines in his arm. Had he tools of any kind at all, he might have not had to resort to such a... primitive means of removing the missile from his person, but alas.

He made do.

Its what he always did.

Starscream's crimson optics flickered briefly and dimmed for a short moment as he dealt with the torrents of new warnings flooding his vision. He pushed them away with a harsh thought and rebooted his optics to clear the static starting to form in the corners.

The seeker grunted when he tweaked one of the more sensitive wires in his arm and sent a fresh wave of pain coursing through his systems.

Okay, so maybe not one of his brighter ideas, Starscream thought darkly as he finished up on his arm.

Wincing only slightly, Starscream pulled himself up with his good arm and leaned against the building nearest to him with a groan. The building shuddered, but otherwise remained intact.

If his calculations were correct, and they always were, then he should be able to place the missile at a specific point that would open up the underground bunker without caving it in.

The only problem would be getting where he could place the makeshift explosion without being caught in the blast.

There was a small gasp from below, and Starscream turned to see the human sparkling standing next to a puddle of his energon. The seeker's initial glower quickly turned into a leering grin despite the pain searing through his arm.

Perfect.

* * *

 **So if you didn't believe me when I gave those warnings in the first chapter, do you believe me now? Starscream is not a nice mech and Alexis has a past of her own that influences her actions around him. These two poor, lost souls are not going to be good for each other for a long while yet.**

 **Also for those wondering about the other bots and cons, you'll just have to be patient. This story is very Starscream centric and the other guys won't be showing up for many years yet. Yes, that's right. Years.**

 **Until then, enjoy all the lovely Starscream angst!**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:**

 **Oh dear, now that wasn't very nice of me to leave you all with such a cruel cliff hanger. And then I didn't update last week! I can feel the angry mobs approaching now...  
*shrugs* Oh well. **

**I do have a valid excuse, though. My family has spent the last two weeks packing up our apartment and getting ready to fly overseas so that my dad can get a major surgery done. So yeah, fun stuff and stress galore.**

To Guest: _I know I know, I am so cruel to my readers! Hopefully you'll feel better after this chapter? *cackles evilly*_

To SunnySides: _Oh, I could tell you he's not... but then I would be lying. What goes on in Screamer's head is definitely not pleasant, that's for sure! Enjoy the update_!

 **Anyways, shall we continue where we left off? And as always, reviews help to tame the nasty author into submission! XD It also keeps me motivated during this somewhat difficult situation I'm in right now, when I don't feel like doing anything at all.**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

Beta read by my amazing sister, _**subterraneangem**_. Seriously, go read her stuff!

* * *

 **Always**

" _Force always attracts men of low morality."_

 _~Albert Einstein_

 **Chapter Five**

Alexis had just finished pulling on a clean T-shirt when she felt the building shutter. The ceiling fan in her room creaked and swayed and a bit of dust came from the ceiling.

Deciding that the building might not be as stable as it looked, the small girl began to haphazardly pack up what she considered essential items into her backpack. Well, as systematically as one could expect from a child her age.

First went in her favorite stuffed bear, then her secret treasure box and some clothes. Lastly went her toothbrush.

Slinging her small pack over her shoulder, Alexis caught sight of her reflection and made a face. She would need to wash her face at least. She was sorely disappointed to find that there was no water. Frustrated, the girl yanked on the faucet for several minutes –trying to find where the water went.

Eventually Alexis figured that the water was simply gone and huffed dramatically.

Stupid broken sink.

Then she remembered the glass of water she always kept on her bedside and rushed to get it and scrub her face.

Half a minute later, a pink faced girl was digging through the small kitchen area of the apartment looking for the water bottles she knew were always kept in the pantry.

She opened one up and immediately drained about half of it, her chest heaving as she came up for breath after her thirst was relieved. The cool liquid felt so soothing on her raw throat and provided much needed relief. She stuck another water bottle in her backpack for later, and after a moment's thought Alexis also grabbed a handful of granola bars and her favorite fruit gummy snacks.

Then she proceeded to make herself a peanut butter sandwich.

The bread was slightly stale, but that didn't bother Alexis in the slightest as she bit down into her sandwich.

She looked around her apartment while she chewed, taking in every detail of the small living space she shared with her mama.

The girl didn't even have a chance to swallow before her eyes suddenly welled up and she started crying profusely. Alexis choked and gagged as the trauma of everything that had happened suddenly hit her with full force.

She didn't even know if her mama was alive or not. Or anyone else for that matter.

Alexis was hyperventilating now, her breaths coming in rapidly as her body was wracked with sporadic sobs. The girl had sunk down to the floor and was leaning against a kitchen cabinet with her face pressed into her knees as the shock began to set in.

She was alone. Completely and entirely alone.

It only took a few long minutes before her dehydrated body couldn't cry anymore and her tears ran dry. She stayed curled up on the floor until her behind started going numb and even then she only shifted a little.

Why was she left behind?

The question plagued her mind like an itch that could not be scratched.

Or maybe her head was just itchy. She didn't know when the last time she showered was and she itched all over.

Alexis swallowed tightly, her sandwich having long since lost its flavor and turned to mush in her mouth. The rest of it didn't seem as appetizing anymore, so she set it on the counter as she stood up weakly.

The building shifted again, this time nearly causing her to fall over and there was a pained roar that made her neck hairs stand on end.

Oh yeah.

She wasn't all that alone.

She had Starscream. Her guardian angel. He was just as alone as she was really. Maybe they could be alone together.

Alexis took a deep breath, feeling it tickle the raw edges on the back of her throat. She took a few small, hesitant steps towards the mantle near the door to the apartment, looking at the collection of old photos displayed there.

One photo in particular had always been her favorite and she frowned when she didn't see it standing up with the others. The sharp crackle of glass alerted her to its presence on the floor and she crouched down to ever so carefully pull it free of its mangled frame.

The photo wasn't all that great of quality, more of a spur of the moment image taken with a cheap cell phone. Her mama had taken her to the park downtown and it was a picture of them both sitting on a bench –well her mama was sitting, Alexis had been crawling all over it. They had both been smiling so hard they felt it for days afterwards.

It was a happy memory.

Alexis gripped the small image tightly in her hands, trying her hardest not to start crying again and failing miserably.

She couldn't believe her mama was gone… _Dead._

One day she would find her again. She had to.

But for right now, Starscream was hurt. She had no idea how, but she needed to check on him. After all, if they were both alone then they would have to look after each other. Because she honestly didn't know where else she could go or who else she could go to.

Alexis folded the photo carefully and took off her backpack to place it strategically where she thought it would be safest.

Shouldering her pack once more, the young blonde exited the apartment with a determined look on her face that only a 9-year old could pull off.

It didn't stay on her face for long.

As soon as she stepped outside of her apartment complex she nearly fell into a puddle of brightly glowing fluid. A small gasp escaped her when she realized where it was coming from and her hands flew to her mouth.

Starscream leered down at her, a twisted expression that looked like a grin but had no real sentiment behind it.

Still, Alexis swallowed dryly and looked up at the giant mech with large brown eyes. "Did you hurt yourself?" She asked, perceptively noting the way Starscream was clutching his arm.

Starscream's optics narrowed a fraction at the organic's misplaced concern. How touching.

Too bad he didn't care.

"I need you to do something for me, fleshy." Starscream hissed sharply, his tone firm and commanding. "You will take this and place it at the far corner of the building."

The small girl shrunk back at his tone and locked her eyes firmly on the ground, knowing it would not be smart to question him.

The giant mech roughly pushed a large cylindrical tube in her arms and she nearly dropped it from how heavy it was. Whatever it was was nearly as big as she was!

"When you get there you will remove this wire to activate the device." Starscream ordered, his optics trained sharply on the human sparkling as it struggled to shift the missile's weight. "Do you compute?" He barked when he failed to receive any kind of acknowledgment from the girl.

Alexis nodded frantically, brown eyes widening in shock even through she had no idea why he was so insistent.

Starscreams's lips pressed together in a pinched frown at the human sparkling's silent response.

The human was being very quiet, he noted with some wariness. The scraplette had been more than willing to pollute the air with its babbling earlier –so why was she so quiet now?

A closer look proved to be useless in giving him any insight on the human's functionality. The tiny girl's faceplates were just as pale and thin as ever, lined with dark bags and framed by stringy yellow filaments. The gash on her forehead had scabbed over, leaving a nasty looking wound. There was some unusual redness around those abnormal brown optics, but Starscream knew nothing about humans –certainly not enough to tell that she had been crying.

His spark rumbled disgruntledly.

This was no fit state for any sparkling to be in!

Starscream snarled when he saw her staring at him, and mentally shook himself free of his spark erroneous urges.

"If you do not start moving, you will find yourself on the receiving end of my impatience, fleshing." The seeker threatened darkly, his crimson optics flashing.

Alexis cringed and stumbled backwards, seeing the threat for was it was. There was no lie in his red eyes. If she didn't do as he said, then he would hurt her.

But she had one question first.

"What is it?"

Starscream smiled then, a cruel and beautiful smile that only promised pain. "That is for me to know, and you to find out." The mech stood up straight and began walking away from the building, pausing for only a second to glance sidelong at the tiny human sparkling, "However, I would suggest putting some distance between yourself and the device once you've activated it."

Alexis swallowed dryly, struggling not to cough at painful scratching of her throat.

Oh. She didn't like the sound of that.

That kinda sounded like a bad thing to her.

The girl looked down at the heavy cylinder in her arms and nearly dropped it as the thought fully processed.

He just handed her a bomb. He wanted her to blow up her home.

Was it because of her? Did she do something wrong, something that upset him? Or was it something else entirely? Like the secret warehouse that she had found underneath her apartment building?

Alexis didn't have the answers to any of the questions currently bombarding her mind.

The only emotion she could rely on right now was fear.

But fear was also the same thing that was holding her feet to the ground, her sweaty hands gripping the cylinder tightly. She needed to move.

She didn't want to think of what Starscream would do if she didn't do as he had asked.

-/-/-

It was harder to find the trap door to the bunker then Alexis remembered.

Of course, the first time she had found it had been an accident.

She had been exploring -well, hiding really. Except it was like mobile hiding. Sneaking around was what her mama liked to call it, even though she made no effort to keep her from doing her own thing. Alexis had always been glad for that.

It was always hard to her to stay in one place, and being on display was even harder. So when her mama had had guests from work over for a dinner meeting, Alexis had been quick to disappear.

She had decided to poke around the back rooms on the first floor. She used to spend a lot of time in the boiler room until she had gotten caught and locked out by the apartment manager, so she was looking for someplace new to hide.

Except that she had gotten lost.

That's when she found the strange door behind a vent cover. She hadn't gotten very far though before she was found by a very tall man in a suit who took her back to her mama's apartment. All she had been able to see was a large room filled with crates and boxes.

And now she was having troubles finding it again.

It might have been easier for her to navigate the rubble if she wasn't carrying the heavy cylinder in her arms. She didn't dare set it down to rest, or shift it any more than absolutely necessary –especially if it was what she thought it was.

Just the thought of what she quite possibly was holding sent chills down her spine.

She needed to move faster.

It was just then that Alexis rounded a corner and was able to recognize where she was, albeit vaguely. It was hard to recognize anything with all of the destruction and rubble strewn everywhere.

Following the natural curiosity of a child, Alexis crept slowly into a room that felt familiar. It was small, and the one bookshelf that was against the wall had fallen over. The room was just an abandoned storage closet, with the exception of the secret doorway that was now plain to see without the bookshelf in the way.

The door was already half open, likely as a result of half the building trying to cave in. It was dark, so Alexis couldn't see much, but she knew it was the same place she had found before.

The small girl shifted her burden slightly, hardly daring to breathe as she placed it in the corner.

Alexis swiftly backed away, scrambling over piles of books and discarded tools. Nothing happened.

Taking several deep breaths, Alexis hesitantly stepped forward. The small wire poking out from side of the cylinder was right there, waiting for her. She chewed on her bottom lip nervously, her face a warped combination of terror and uncertainty.

She pulled the wire.

And then she ran. She ran as if her life depended on it –which it did. She ran and kept on running.

She felt the heat before she heard the explosion behind her.

Starscream vented impatiently.

Just how long did it take a sparkling to plant an explosive?

The seeker shifted from his crouched position. He hadn't gone all that far from the building, just far enough to avoid any potential airborne debris. And to keep an optic on things.

Starscream growled, clawing roughly at his spark.

It grumbled and whirred angrily, pushing up against the inside of its chamber.

 _Wrong._

He had sent a sparkling in there to die. She had gone willingly –for reasons that Starscream could not comprehend. The seeker scoffed silently, it was more likely that she simply didn't understand what he was asking of her.

It was pathetic how easily how the human fleshling caved to his demands.

Perhaps she would be worth keeping around. It would be easy enough to train her to be his obedient slave; she had already proven that she would do anything he required of her with the right amount of persuasion.

His spark rumbled once more, but less annoyingly.

Starscream smirked darkly. Then when he grew tired of her, he would simply be rid of the organic.

His spark buzzed violently at this, suddenly surging angrily and Starscream hissed lowly, clutching at his chassis.

 _WRONG._

He remembered hearing stories from when he was still just a young mech in the science academy, stories about how sometimes a mech's seemingly went berserk for no reason at all. How that some mech couldn't control themselves when their sparks urges took over. Those reports, rumors in many cases, almost always mentioned a sparkling. And how almost all of them were fliers –seekers to be precise.

He never believed them to be anything more than rumors.

 _ **WRONG.**_

Something wasn't right, but Starscream couldn't possibly think straight with his spark fighting him like it wasn't even part of him.

He'd never experienced anything like it before, and he didn't appreciate the feeling. His spark was _his._ His spark did not own him. His processors would always reign supreme and he would not cave to its unfounded whims.

Finally wresting control of his spark, Starscream suddenly found that he could process far more clearly.

Starscream was moving in an instant, diving into action a split second before the explosion. He never saw the sparkling exit the building, and he couldn't have his little slave dead before he was ready to offline her himself.

An innate sense guided his movements, all his injuries forgotten. He had to get the sparkling.

His spark whirred in agreement for once, pushing him onward with no regard to his frame's current state of disrepair.

The building was already crumbling into itself by the time he had pushed himself into the middle of the exploding rubble. The heat licked at his armour, not affecting him in the slightest, but easily set anything it could on fire.

His optics scanned through the building in an astrosecond, catching sight of a tiny singed body in the middle of what had been an open lobby.

In an instant, without any conscious thought, Starscream's frame moved of its own accord -spurring him on with an urgency that surged through his entire system and urged him forward to scoop the sparkling up with large clawed digits.

A secondary explosion from behind sent the seeker reeling unsteadily on his pedes, crashing through a wall and sending the rest of the building down with a resounding rumble. The vibrations continued well after the rubble ceased falling and dust lingered heavily in the air.

By some unknown instinct or program buried so deeply in his coding to no longer be recognized, Starscream curled protectively around the human sparkling. Cradled her with a gentleness he could not consciously possess, the battered and unconscious girl was held safe as the seeker holding her ducked and rolled with the impact of the explosion.

Only slightly stunned, Starscream was quickly back on his thrustered pedes and sprinting away from the smoking remains of the building.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN:**

 **I just want to say thank you all so much for all of your reviews! Like a huge thank you! You have no idea how ecstatic I am right now. Six whole reviews on a single chapter and who knows how many fav's/follows! Because of how many reviews I got, I pushed this chapter out a little sooner than I normally would, but I felt like you all deserved it!**

 _To Lord Nitro:_ Shhhhh... no spoilers! You'll just have to wait like everyone else!

 _To himelove22:_ Don't worry she'll be fine! ...Sort of... maybe... You'll will just have to keep reading to find out!

 _To SunnySides:_ None shall resist the power of sparkling protocols! Not even the great and terrible Starscream himself. Especially not Starscream! XD

 _To Cat girl:_ Haha, yes poor Screamer is such a softie when it comes to sparklings. Or at least he will be eventually. Right now he's still in denial. Uh, I don't know why you thought that she was four... I did state in chapter 3 that she was nine and has been for the entire story so far... Sorry if I did something to confuse you!

 _To Autobot AfterShock:_ That would be an interesting plot twist, I admit. However, nothing like that will be happening in this story -I have far greater plans in mind! *giggles manically*

 _To Leonixon:_ Ahh! *squeals* I was so excited when I saw that you reviewed my story I literally did happy dances! And yes, no matter how hard he tries to ignore it, Starscream has a huge soft spot for our little Alexis.

 **You all are amazing and I really hope that you guys like this chapter. We finally get to see some more of Starscream's struggle with his spark and how he plans to work around it. I felt that this chapter's quote fit really well for that.**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters. I only own my OC Alexis._

Beta read by my amazing sister, _**subterraneangem**_. Love ya sis!

* * *

 **Always**

" _The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind."_

 _~Caroline Myss_

 **Chapter Six**

Starscream came out of recharge for the umpteenth time in as so many cycles with a jolt. His systems booted up slowly, too slowly for comfort.

This would not do at all, Starscream thought irritably.

How would he be able to defend himself if some slagging Autobot or Decepticon found him and he wasn't able to boot fast enough to react? Not that he wouldn't try, but it would make it much easier if he could react before he was damaged any more than he already was.

What he really wanted to know was why the pit he had been unconscious in the first place.

Shifting to pull himself upright, the seeker became acutely aware of a warmth in his servo. His clawed digits flexed and tightened around the squishy form it held as Starscream lifted it to inspect the curled figure.

It was the sparkling.

No, Starscream corrected himself; it was the human insect, the one he had found in the rubble.

His spark rumbled agitatedly at his denial, but otherwise remained silent.

The human was injured, although to what extent Starscream was not able to tell. Her coverings were burnt and blackened and the yellow filaments around her helm singed. The seeker carefully flipped her still form over, revealing the bloody mess of burns and cuts on her back.

His spark flared annoyingly, concern and anxiety seeping into his mind unwillingly.

The sparkling was hardly breathing, but he could still see how her lips parted every few seconds, so he knew she was still alive. She wouldn't be for long though if she wasn't repaired.

Starscream cursed, feeling a rage and frustration that hardly seemed his own. It was just a useless human fleshbag! Why was his spark so insistent that he needed to protect her?

It didn't make sense!

But since when did anything about his spark make sense to him? Or anybody else for that matter…

Starscream snarled when the sparkling failed to wake at his continued prodding. It was not so much that the human pest had been damaged that angered him as it was his own inability to fix it.

At least that's what he chose to believe.

Starscream stood up unsteadily, noting with a grimace that he too had not escaped the blast unscathed as thick trails of congealed energon rolled down his back and wings. What worried him most was that he could no longer feel how bad his damages were.

Hissing lowly, the seeker subconsciously cradled the human sparkling close to his chest plates while his other servo lifted to stem the still bleeding hole where his missile launcher used to be.

He limped forward carefully, picking his way through the street back to the building he had collapsed. The whole structure had practically disintegrated in the wake of the explosion combined with his breaking through the few walls still intact. Most of the rumble had fallen into a large hole in the ground and forming a steep slope into the bunker underneath. Exactly as he had predicted it would, Starscream thought smugly.

It was always nice when something worked out according to plan. Especially when everything else was falling apart around him –himself included.

He wouldn't be able to help the sparkling if he didn't get his own repairs taken care of first, he reasoned with his spark. Starscream was beginning to realize that ignoring his spark was futile. He could reason with it though, rather than fight it.

His spark whirled agitatedly at leaving the human unattended while he scouted the bunker for supplies, but in the end calmed down enough that he could process clearly.

The seeker took a quick glance around him, searching for a suitable place to stash the sparkling. He was found a reasonably sheltered slab of rubble and laid her down gently as possible lest he anger his spark again.

A hesitant clawed digit traced the tiny figure's jawline with a gentleness that wasn't his own.

Starscream jerked back suddenly, his ruby optics hardening as he roughly pulled his servo away. He stood there for a long moment, staring at the sparkling with cold optics. Observing. Contemplating. Considering.

His spark insisted he needed to protect her.

He didn't understand it. No -he didn't want to understand it.

Long before the thought of war was present, the Seekers of Vos were considered the most protective of caretakers. The sparkling/guardian protocols of the elite fliers were renowned among the city-state's of Cybertron. No mech dared to cross a seeker with its sparkling programming active.

Sometimes, a seeker wouldn't be able to control it –though these instances were far and few between, it was not unheard of. There had been several known cases where a seeker's sparkling protocols had led to some drastic things.

Well, that might be over exaggerating. A few mechs died and another couple self-terminated, while others yet were imprisoned for murder and mechslaughter under the influence of said protocols. Nothing major really.

It had never been a major concern for Starscream in any case, seeing as he never had any desire to sire a creation or spend time with the creations of others. He was always far too preoccupied with his studies to care about such things.

When the war started picking up speed, many of the seekers under his command began disabling their sparkling/guardian protocols under Megatron's orders to quote 'maintain compliance' within the ranks.

Starscream himself had never gone in for the relatively simple procedure, refusing to allow another mech in his helm. Quite simply put, he told Megatron to frag off.

In the end, he was sent to the medic for other reasons after that confrontation.

His protocols, however, apparently had not been removed while he had been in medical stasis lock. He had always assumed that they had been deactivated when he was unconscious. He supposed he should have been thankful that Hook at least respected him enough not to go against his will while he was vulnerable. Right now he was more concerned with the fact that they had somehow become active without him realizing.

Damn sparkling protocols.

There was no other reason for his spark's recent behavior.

Somehow, for some unexplainable reason, his spark saw the human insect as… as his sparkling.

Starscream jerked, snarling viciously and stalked towards the hole in the ground leading into the underground warehouse –trying to ignore the suddenly much more pronounced tugging on his spark.

It wasn't…

It shouldn't even be possible!

Starscream clamped down cruelly on his spark's urges, wincing at the recoiling flare of energy. He could not afford to be distracted by such things.

He had other priorities and a human child was not one of them.

* * *

The entrance sloped down steeply, the mounds of rubble and debris from the building pouring further into the bunker with every step he took.

The light filtering in through the hole in the ground was barely enough to light the floor beneath it, but Starscream was hardly bothered by a bit of darkness. He had long grown used to the dim lighting common on the Decepticons' warships. His crimson optics glowed brightly, shedding a red halo on his faceplates and everything within a few feet.

More than anything else, it was the dust that made it hard to see. In the seeming darkness, the tiny particles of dirt and plaster and cement would reflect even the smallest source of light as they swirled gently with his every movement.

It was easy enough to find the boxes and devices the human scraplet had been referring to.

The entire compound, for it seemed to go on well past the boundaries of a simple bunker, was littered with racks of boxes and containers. As the seeker ducked further in, he quickly felt the oppressing feeling of being underground and his wings stiffened. He could only just stand at his full height and the tips of his wings scraped across the support struts in the ceiling if he didn't consciously pin them down.

Starscream's gritted his denta, very much aware of the abrasions and shrapnel in his back and on his wings.

His HUD blipped a curt warning notifying him of his continued energon loss. He was at 19 percent currently and dropping steadily. He'd start losing functionality if he didn't refuel soon.

With that in mind, Starscream didn't dismiss the warning as he had been previously –instead minimizing it down to the corner of his vision.

Pressing forward, Starscream crept along the side of the compound, keeping close to the wall to avoid stepping on anything potentially hazardous to his health. He had enough to deal with without some human contraption blowing him to bits thank-you-very-much.

Who knew what they stored in secret down here.

He'd rather not find out until he had his scanners repaired enough for him to know what he was dealing with.

For right now, he would be content finding a few sheets of clean steel or even a welder to close the slowly leaking fuel lines in his arm. That and a few other things that he'd rather not find in the human compound.

Starscream's wings twitched at the thought of the Autobots sharing cybertronian technology with the human fleshies they'd allied themselves with.

As it was, the humans had already reverse-engineered an astonishing amount of technology from Megatron's frozen frame while they had kept him in cryostasis. He'd rather not find himself on the receiving end of whatever weapons they had built from his former leader's time on ice.

The seeker scowled when he came to another wall. There was nowhere else for him to go.

Investigating the small steel door at his thrustered pedes and his lips flickered with a shadow of a smirk.

Tapping gently on the wall with a single-clawed digit, Starscream listened –a glint in his glowing red optics. A short few moments later and with one well-placed kick, the seeker was stepping through a crumbling hole –pushing through with his shoulder bolts to widen the hole so that his wings would fit comfortably.

This room was smaller than the main bunker in that his seeker frame was far too tall to stand upright or even hunched over. Here he had to practically bend over double in order to maneuver himself. His wings and struts protested greatly, constantly reminding him of their aches and pains at being forced to contort in such unnatural angles. However, he very quickly forgot about them upon catching sight of nothing less than a stack of five containers of energon glowing brightly in the dark.

Now that was unusual.

He didn't reach for one immediately. He was a suspicious mech by nature, both natural and unnatural, and wouldn't dare drink energon from an unknown source without scanning it first. And since his scanners were currently offline and would remain so for the considerable future, he would forego any form of celebration until after he knew what exactly it was that he was processing.

So he would wait as long as he could, until he was either desperate and dying or positive it was nothing more than energon -plain and simple energon.

Instead, Starscream made a note to pick up the containers –they were certainly not standard energon cubes and that only served to increase his suspicions- later and shifted somewhat laboriously to view the rest of the room.

What he saw next left him aghast.

Tanks. Dozens of glass tanks filled with tiny bodies. Tiny mechanical bodies.

Starscream's face was coldly impassive as he crouched down to better inspect the shadowy figures in the faintly glowing fluid. They were obviously dead, never having really been alive, and clearly were some kind of human science experiment.

It was disgusting.

Turning away, Starscream found the closest computer system in the room and attached a hardline to it –hacking into the offline system and downloading the entire database. At most it took half a breem, and only that long because what he found was so sickening.

The human's had taken samples of Megatron's CNA and mashed it with a conglomeration of human steroids and enhancers before implanting it in a human embryo floating in a saline/energon solution.

Starscream could hardly believe what he was seeing.

It made the monstrosities Shockwave created look civilized.

The seeker vented heavily, all the dust and stale air from being underground starting to clog his internal cooling systems. Turning away from the tanks, Starscream quickly went to scanning the rest of what more and more seemed to resemble a secret laboratory. There wasn't much in the way of equipment, medical or otherwise, in the rest of the lab and he only had one more corner to inspect before he would bury the place.

A site like this should never be discovered again. Some things were better left forgotten in Starscream's opinion. And this was most certainly one of them.

It only took a breem to destroy the human's pathetic computer systems and gather up all the energon he could carry in his arms.

Whatever else might have been in the bunker held no interest for Starscream. Not anymore.

As he got closer to the sloping entrance, he could feel the vestigial breaths of wind caressing his wings and the seeker moved just that much faster to get out. He had mostly been able to ignore the prickling of his plating and the tension in his frame that had slowly grown worse the longer he stayed underground.

As he crawled up the sloping mass of rubble leading to the surface Starscream also felt another slowly ebbing source of strain -this one coming from his spark.

Starscream's lips curled in distaste at the unprecedented reaction and took careful note of it. There would be lots of things he would be looking into when he returned to the Decepticon forces. He had questions that demanded answers, answers he would not be able to find on this Primus forsaken mud ball.

When he finally reached the surface, he found that several hours had passed and the Earth's sun had moved high into the west and was already beginning to sink closer to the horizon. Starscream hadn't realized he had been underground so long.

The seeker frowned, and made haste to place his cargo somewhere out of sight. He didn't have the energy to carry several canisters of energon half ways across the city, not with his arm damaged as it was.

That and energon was extremely toxic to organics.

Starscream stopped abruptly.

Where did that come from!? The seeker cursed lowly and snarled when he realized where he had arrived. Damn his wretched spark for beguiling him so!

He was standing in front of where he had hid the human sparkling.

The fleshling was exactly where he had left her and appeared to still be unconscious. Starscream's spark pushed painfully against its chamber, urging him, pleading to go to her aid. He reached forward, his clawed digits moving out to gently cup around the tiny organic's frame.

His spark buzzed and twisted when the sparkling shifted and moaned, tossing uneasily.

Starscream could feel her body heat was very high; it had to be in order for him to be able to feel it at all.

The seeker's spark writhed in time with the sparkling in his servo, concern and helplessness the foremost emotions he felt being projected through him.

He didn't know how to fix her, he realized.

Then he realized that he didn't want the sparkling dead. His spark wouldn't let him.

* * *

 **Oh my, what have those pesky humans been up too? Certainly nothing good, as Starscream has recently discovered. It's really bad when a Decepticon is disgusted by a human science project.**

 **As for poor Alexis, she's not doing so well is she? Will she survive? Oh and what's this, Starscream is no longer fighting his spark? What will this mean for our favorite human sparkling?**

 **You will just have to wait till next time to find out! Muahahha! Please keep reviewing, I live for your reviews!**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN:**

 **Hello all! I just want to apologize for the late update, I've had all sorts of crazy things going on in RL right now and just haven't had much time at all to write. Hopefully you all will forgive me after this chapter!**

 **To Autobot AfterShock:** _Not to worry, Alexis is made of study stuff. Do you have any idea how tough a nine year old can be? And yes, Starscream, aka: our favorite dorito, is in way over his head!_

 **To SunnySides:** _Ah, yes, the autobots. I won't give any spoilers, but they will show up when they show up and not before. As for Starscream, he is a Con, so if that doesn't answer your question I don't know what will. *shrugs* Humanities dark side is very well hidden, even to the majority of themselves. We will be touching on that in the future! Starscream's spark and processor will continue to be at odds for a while yet, and we will start seeing some of that strain in this chapter as well as the next few. And with that, I give you your update!_

 **To** **himelove22:** _Yup! That's exactly what the humans were trying to do! I won't go into details, but they were definitely trying to make a techno-organic clone from Megatron's CNA._

 **To c** **razysteveo.162:** _I don't know about a one-shot, but if I can I am going to include as much Cybertronian culture and headcanons as I can into the story. I'm glad you like it so far!_

 **To nadillaandlaprasthefireandice:** _Sparkling protocols are always a must when it comes to seekers! I'm really excited that you like the story so far and I hope that you enjoy reading this chapter!_

 **Thanks again for all the fav's/follow's and reviews! You guys are way kinder than I deserve!**

 **Now then, are you ready for the next chapter of this roller coaster of story? Because if you're not, you had better buckle up! This chapter is a doozy!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

Beta read by my amazing sister, _**subterraneangem**_!

* * *

 **Always**

" _A man's private thought can never be a lie; what he thinks, is to him the truth, always."_

 _~Mark Twain_

 **Chapter Seven**

It was nearly dark by the time Starscream managed to get back to his seclude where he had drawn the map of the city. He had spent far too long putting together a canvas type sack made from a sturdy tarp he had found left by the human soldiers when they were scouting the city. Using the material, he had been successfully able to rig up a way for him to transport the energon canisters over his shoulder bolt while carrying the sparkling in his other servo.

He hadn't counted on it being so painful.

The heavily weighed down sack rubbed roughly on his already abraded wings and back, slowing him down more than he would have liked. It wouldn't have been nearly so bad if he had a way of dislodging the pieces of shrapnel and debris from the thinly plated armor on his wings, but there was no way for him to reach the back of his wings on his own.

In the end, he made it back to the alcove without aggravating his injuries too much. The only thing aggravated in that moment was Starscream's temper.

Starscream wanted nothing more than to be able to drop the sack of energon canisters and curl up into recharge for a cycle, but he knew he couldn't.

His spark would never let him get any sort of recharge while the human sparkling was in such a weak state.

She had only gotten worse as the evening progressed, constantly alternating between shaking and overheating, tossing and turning restlessly in his servo. Eventually he had had to cup his servo to his chassis -right above his cockpit and coincidently, his spark- in order to keep the fleshling from falling out of his hold.

He decidedly ignored how she had calmed shortly after and how that his spark hummed delightedly at her closeness.

Setting down his load in the corner, Starscream ripped a small swath of the plastic-like cloth the makeshift sack was made of. Folding it into a kind of cushion, the weary seeker placed it on the floor and gently laid the sparkling on it.

Then he simply stood there with a deeply conflicted expression. Just watching her. Observing.

He would be lying if he said he had any idea what he was supposed to do next.

But Starscream was a Decepticon, and Decepticons were liars by nature, so he pretended that he wasn't completely out of his depth when dealing with an organic sparkling. He pretended he didn't feel the immediate change in his spark when he moved the girl away, or how that the sparkling had started tossing and moaning shortly after she was placed on the floor.

Too bad Decepticons weren't also actors by nature, because he wasn't really fooling anyone by pretending.

He certainly wasn't fooling his spark.

He had been standing there for a long moment, probably longer than he cared to realize, before his HUD pinged with another warning, reminding him that, yes; he was still in a horrendous state of disrepair and running on 16 percent of his energon reserves.

Starscream vented heavily, too drained emotionally and physically to muster up a properly vehement response to his own scrapped frame.

The seeker sunk down with a heavy thud and leaned his back against the wall, careful not to put too much pressure on his wings.

He reset his optics, their crimson light reflecting on the sharp edges of his plating as he cradled his helm in his servos. Starscream was beyond frustration. He was just tired. His spark constantly plagued him with feelings that were not his own, feelings that he had fought with everything he had.

Only to wind up saddled with a sparkling he could not be rid of.

Starscream swore softly in his vents, cursing primus, cursing his spark, cursing himself for letting himself get into this situation in the first place.

The seeker's attention suddenly shifted over to the human fleshling tossing and moaning on the floor next to him. His spark writhed painfully at the sight of her, the way the sparkling looked so helpless.

Starscream reached over with a clawed digit, brushing the outer curve against her tiny helm. She was burning up.

He jerked his servo back when the squishy suddenly shifted and turned to lean up against his servo, sighing softly and going still. Starscream frowned and glared at the unconscious organic, inspecting the smears of organic coolant on his digits.

His lips curled in distaste.

He was filthy. Not just from the organic sparkling's oils. His entire frame was coated in dried energon; dirt and grime was embedded in all his joints and every crevice in his armor. He hated it.

Seekers were an instinctually clean race of cybertronians. They prided themselves on their pristine frames and frequently attended communal cleaning rituals as social gatherings. Now, here he was, rolling in filth like some lowly grounder with no way to clean himself.

What he would give right now to have access to the washracks on the Nemesis. And that was saying something, because the public washracks were absolutely disgusting to use. Unfortunately, even as high ranked as Starscream had been, even he did not have the luxury of a private washrack of his own in the cramped quarters of the Decepticon flagship.

Of course, there was very little chance he would be setting a pede in any sort of washrack any time soon.

Starscream glanced back down at the sparkling.

Considering that she was completely unaware of her surroundings, it was very likely that the fleshy had simply been seeking out the coolest object near her –which just so happened to be the cool metal of his servo. Starscream pursed his lips at he considered this. It stood to reason that her heightened body temperature was not a good thing, just as overheating a Cybertronian's systems was not a good thing.

Starscream's spark whirled unhappily when he made no move at assist the sparkling in the one way that he knew might help. The agitation only increased as the sparkling continued to whimper and curl into herself.

Determined not to let his spark dictate to him, Starscream turned away from the sparking and activated his recharge protocols. His frame relaxed immediately, all too keen to give way to the call of recharge.

He wasn't aware enough to feel himself reach across and cup the sparkling into his servo and cradle her close to his spark.

All he knew was that his spark suddenly calmed, and then he slipped into the blissful lull of recharge.

* * *

Starscream came out of recharge with the cool morning sun in his optics through the cracks in the dilapidated building he had made his temporary hideout.

The first thing he noticed was the contented purring of his spark, a distinct change from the near constant agitation it had been in since he had found the sparkling. What sensors he had that were operational were instantly on high alert and the seeker quickly recognized the steady _thump, thump, thump,_ of an organic fuel pump.

It was then that Starscream glanced down at the sparkling cradled in his servo, realizing its presence. It… it wasn't unwelcome.

But it also wasn't natural.

Starscream frowned deeply. How did the human insect even get into his servo? He distinctly remembered the sparkling being on the floor when he activated his recharge protocols last cycle.

Unless the sparkling had come out of her own fitful recharge and sought him out?

That seemed highly unlikely. The human was still unconscious, completely unchanged from the night before. Although, Starscream did notice a change in her body temperature –the sparkling was no longer overheating like she was before.

The seeker shifted slightly, taking a brief stock of his surroundings and the map on the wall across from him. Starscream vented and reset his optics and checked his HUD.

His energon levels were remaining steady at 15 percent for right now.

Starscream glanced at the stack of energon canisters in the corner, a dark scowl marring his sharp features. He quickly turned his attention elsewhere. He wasn't desperate.

Not yet.

The sparkling shifted quietly in his servo, bringing his focus back to the human fleshy in his grasp. He swiftly dumped the sparkling back onto the makeshift mattress –ignoring how his spark protested the roughness.

He still needed to find the appropriate supplies to finish his repairs. If he was able to do so quickly, then he would still have a chance at getting off this primus forsaken planet and back to the Decepticons where he belonged.

Not that he really belonged anywhere anymore. It wasn't like it would be easy to get back into Megatron's good graces after the stunt he pulled in the Mission City battle. He'd managed before though. He would manage again.

He always did.

Starscream stood, leaning heavily on the wall when his legs tried to give out. The abrupt movement sent waves of searing hot pain through the arm he used to catch himself, his damaged arm. He hissed lowly, straightening with a resolute grimace as he slowly stretched the stiff cabling in his back and shoulders.

His whole frame ached and every little movement sent waves of agony coursing through his systems.

Starscream just steeled himself and shook it off.

This was nothing in comparison to what he had been through. He still remembered how it felt after he had made an executive decision on the front lines, calling his seekers into a tactical retreat in the middle of the Battle for Nova Cronium. The Autobots had taken the retreat as a call to arms and walked right into a trap. The entirety of the seeker forces had bombarded the exposed bot's and won the battle with zero casualties.

That didn't matter to Megatron though. The mighty Decepticon leader was only concerned with the fact that Starscream had defied a direct order. A slag strewn order that would have led to the slaughter of his seekers. While the rest of the Decepticon army celebrated and intoxicated themselves to the point of stupor, Starscream had been beaten within an inch of his life.

The next few orns after that were not very fun. At least, what he could remember through the drugged haze that those orns consisted of.

This was nothing in comparison to what he was used to.

Starscream ducked out the building with a forced grace, his movements both fluid and strained. He would not coddle himself due to his injuries. Setting his sights on the next target of his search, Starscream proceeded with steady, calculated steps with only the slightest signs of a limp.

If nothing else, pain was a good motivator.

And just right then, Starscream was _very_ motivated.

* * *

Starscream felt exhausted; exhausted but also accomplished around the time earth's sun hit its zenith.

He had finally found the materials he needed to repair his subspace.

It hadn't been easy, but he actually had managed to repair his subspace. It was almost laughable, the hack job that he had done on himself –primus knew Hook would throw a fit over it- but his improvising had paid off.

His frame was still complete slag, but he had at least been able to patch the hole in his arm. It would still take a while before he'd be fit to transform, but if he remembered correctly the Nemesis should still be in orbit around the red planet the humans had named _Mars._ If he was careful, and made his calculations carefully, then it would be possible for his to break earth's gravitational pull in his root form once he repaired his thrusters.

For now though, he would be content with not offlining in his recharge because he didn't have enough energon to come out of stasis.

Starscream knew better than to push his luck, if there even was such a thing when it came to him.

After spending the last joor and a half prodding at himself and checking, then double checking his makeshift repairs, Starscream was ready to attempt accessing his subspace.

He figured that without any more energon he only had enough energy to reach into his subspace twice, enough for him to do a test run. He wasn't desperate enough to pull out his energon rations on the first try.

The last thing he needed was an integrated subspace implosion because he accidentally scrambled energon molecules with a half-slagged subspace puller.

So in his mind that left him with two options for the initial test run. A weapon or the medical field kit he needed to finish repairing his thrusters.

From a tactical viewpoint, he was completely defenseless. A weapon would provide him a means of defense, and if need be, a way to coerce a bot into helping him off the planet if he was unable to repair his thrusters on his own. His field kit, however, would give him the ability to complete his repairs and get off this pit-spawned planet.

Starscream's clawed servo twitched restlessly, his talons glinting in the midday sun.

If he pulled out the one, and needed the other… Where would that leave him then?

The seeker snarled, his servos forming tight fists.

Making up his mind, Starscream snapped open his subspace and pulled out his medical kit in one abrupt motion, feeling the cold fizzle and pop of the energy barriers separating the physical and that which was not.

Starscream let out short vent when the kit came through in one piece, fingering the personalized glyphs in the casing. He had lifted it off Hook vorns ago and it had come in handy more times than he could count. He smirked, tucking the case into a gap in his armor for the time being.

Now came the real test.

Starscream's faceplates went blank, completely cold, not putting any of his hopes into one result or the other. Either he'd blow up and take half the city with him or he would be able intake some much needed energon within the next few breems. He calculated about 30/70 ratio between both results.

Not the best odds, but definitely not the worst he'd ever taken.

He flicked his servo, feeling the cool brush of the subspace pocket against his digits. Then just as fast as he felt it, it was gone and he had a full size energon ration in his servo.

He didn't even think twice before opening the cube and taking a long drink, instantly feeling the new energy leach through his fuel lines. He didn't drink all of it. He didn't even drink half of it. But the little bit he did drink did wonders for his de-energized systems.

Starscream swirled the blue liquid carefully, his red optics focusing clearly for the what felt like the first time in orns, despite the reality being that barely half an orn had passed since the end of the Mission City catastrophe.

He wanted to finish the cube off, but he knew that doing so would only over energize his systems –and not in the pleasant way that high grade would. Think more like, purging all the energon he just consumed and wasting what precious energy he had remaining.

No, he had to savor every drop he had. Especially if he wanted to get past the planet's abnormally strong gravitational forces.

Starscream brought up his energy levels on his HUD, a pleased grin pulling at his lip plates when they registered at 21 percent and slowly rising. Starscream brought the energon ration to his lips and took a carefully calculated sip, leaving about two-thirds of the cube left for later. That would have to be enough for now until his tanks readjusted to actually having energon in them.

The seeker straightened, tensing as his back twinged painfully in protest.

His spark hummed annoyingly, a question in his spark chamber. It had been easy enough to ignore its increasingly more urgent pulses while his processor had been busy paying attention to other things, but now that he had reached his goals it saw fit to remind him by being a nuisance.

Starscream glance upwards, the earth's sun glinting on the sharp edges of his armor. It was well past mid-cycle by now.

The sparkling had been alone all this time.

He had no idea if it would even still be there. Or if the insect would even be alive at this point.

Starscream's spark whined softly, pulling in the direction of where he had made his hideout. Starscream snarled, starting to stalk in that direction as best as he could with his numerous injuries.

He wasn't going to listen to his spark. He was going to get off this fragging planet and forget the slagging scraplet even existed. Until then, he would continue repair himself until he was ready to leave. And then he would leave and he wouldn't look back.

Starscream winced at the angry whirling inside of his spark chamber, focusing instead on reactivating his basic systems diagnostic now that he had some energy to spare –telling himself his spark was just fluctuating because he had been without energon for so long.

That what he told himself anyways.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN:**

 **I am sorry for taking so long to get this chapter out, I truly am. Its been what? Nearly a month since I last updated? Not cool, not cool. *slaps self***

 **However, in my defense, I have been incredibly busy applying to several universities and trying to find a place to live within my means. Trust me when I say that it is no easy task. I hope that some of you will understand what a stressful time this is and forgive me for not updating sooner.**

 **To SunnySides:** _Starscream is being a bit of an aft about this whole spark thing isn't he? Not to worry though, after this chapter things are about to change._

 **To himelove22:** _Like I mentioned to the previous reviewer, things change just a little bit after this chapter. Starscream has a ways to go before fully accepting what his spark claims is his, but he can't fight the very essence of his being and expect to win. Just doesn't work that way._

 **To nadillaandlaprasthefireandice:** _While it is true that not all cons are liars, lying is first and foremost a Decepticon the honorable character your mentioned (some of my fav's in fact) would be forces to at least misdirect the truth to save themselves or someone they care about. At least that's how I see it. I'm super glad that you enjoyed the chapter! Hopefully this one is just as good!_

 **Thank you all again for the reviews! This story has had a far better reception than I could have ever expected with 24 favorites and 32 followers at only 8 chapters. You all are awesome and the only thing that keeps me motivated to write when I'm dealing with real life issues. Keep being awesome people!**

* * *

Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot.

Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!

* * *

 **Always**

 _"The superior man is satisfied and composed the mean man is always full of distress."_

 _~ Confucius_

 **Chapter Eight**

 _The earth was shaking. She could feel it beneath her feet and the shifting roar of falling buildings was drowned out by the deafening screams of the people racing past._

 _Alexis kept her hands curled up underneath her as she rocked back and forth on her knees. People rushed past her, not caring what or who they stepped on or pushed through to get ahead of whatever it was behind them. She learned this very quickly after her hands became the primary target of several misplaced footsteps. The people never stopped running. Never glanced behind them to see the small blonde child being trampled in the middle of the panicked exodus._

 _She was screaming too, she realized, seeming to come to her senses._

 _Alexis's nose scrunched up as she slowly uncurled from the fetal position she had been in. Suddenly the screams weren't so loud and the people didn't bump into her anymore._

 _Confusion ran rampant through her mind, followed shortly by the uncontrollable pounding of her heart._

 _She tried calling out to them, crying out for help, screaming, shouting –all to no avail._

 _It was like they couldn't hear her, didn't see her anymore._

 _Alexis choked on a sob, her fear pushing her beyond tears. She let out a terrified shriek when she saw a woman running right for her. She didn't have time to jump out of the way, and the woman made no move to go around her._

 _The small girl prepared herself and squeezed her eyelids closed when the much larger woman collided with her._

 _Except she didn't._

 _Alexis opened her eyes and turned around, watching the back of the woman as she kept running with no sign of even acknowledging the girl she had just run through._

 _Then Alexis started running. Completely terrified and not understanding, the small girl ran with everything she had._

 _She could hear her heart pounding in her chest louder than anything else around her. Adrenaline pushed her forward as she ran right through the crowds of people and down the streets until she couldn't breathe._

 _She couldn't breathe!_

 _Why couldn't she breathe?!_

* * *

Alexis jolted awake gasping and shrieking, choking as she sucked air into her lungs and caught her breath. She was drenched in sweat and her hair was clinging to her everywhere. Her brown eyes were wide and wild as she slowly realized that she was awake.

That she wasn't dreaming anymore.

It had only been a dream. A nightmare. She wasn't back there again; running for her life from something she didn't understand and couldn't see.

Starscream watched the girl with little to no expression on his faceplates as she scrubbed at the fluid leaking down her squishy faceplates.

He wondered how long it would take before she realized that he was there.

He had scanned her earlier, and while the results that came back informed him of all her vital systems –he had no idea what any of it meant as he had no baseline to go off of.

Starscream scanned her again, hoping it might make his spark stop its incessant droning.

The sparkling made a strange face as the scan ran over her, not understanding where the strange tickling sensation was coming from. Her strange brown optics quickly landed on his frame seated on the adjacent floor and trailed up to meet the massive seeker's optics.

Where Starscream expected to see some kind of display of fear or panic, he saw only saw a brief flash of recognition. Not even a vague glimpse of fear or apprehension. Pit, anger would have sufficed.

But when he looked into those wide brown optics, he saw very little resembling any such emotions. To be truthful, Starscream saw very little in the way of any emotion at all in the human sparkling.

Starscream's spark surged restlessly against its chamber, urging him to do something. Where there should have been relief, there was only a resolute sense of concern.

The seeker turned away, breaking optic contact with the fleshling and focused on the data coming through on his HUD.

"I was beginning to wonder if you would ever wake up." He stated coolly, not really talking to the organic, but rather at her.

She stirred slightly at the rasping of his vocals, but otherwise remained the same –just staring at him, in a daze of sorts. It was starting to irritate him.

His scans of her vitals came back relatively unchanged, but further comparison to the ones he took previously showed some slight decreases in her fuel pump rate and other internal systems. The most noticeable decrease was in her body temperature, and even that was hardly noticeable. Then again, Starscream realized, cybertronian measurements were vastly different from anything the organic would –or should- register on.

He scowled darkly at how his spark continued its agitated swirling as the seeker pondered this.

The fact that any changes registered at all using these measurements meant that the human sparkling was likely far less stable than he had originally thought.

A quiet groan from beside him brought his attention fully on the organic just as she clutched at her midsection and purged on the floor next to her.

Starscream reeled back in revulsion, his faceplates fully expressing his disgust.

"Cease this at once!" he ordered, calling upon all his vorns as an elite military commander to keep from jumping up and backing away from the mess at his pedes.

The sparkling gagged and coughed, but it seemed that its tanks were too dry to heave anything up.

Alexis was too busy trying not to puke her guts out to realize the effect her body's natural processes were having on the massive metal being occupying the warehouse with her. After a few more moments she was able to regain control of herself, and spat as much of the foulness out of her mouth as she could.

She was just glad that there was no chunkies.

But her mouth still tasted foul. And her throat still burned painfully. Her back ached and felt stiff and her head hurt.

Her head hurt the worst though. It throbbed and every time she went to look up, she would get so dizzy she thought she would fall on her face. Not just pain though, everything was fuzzy. She knew where she was and who Starscream was; she remembered an explosion…

And then everything else was foggy.

Once she felt steady enough to squint up at the metal being beside her, Alexis found herself staring into a pair of equally disgusted and contemptuous red optics.

The small blond girl glanced back down at the puddle of vomit a few feet away and crinkled up her nose at the sour smell.

"Sorry." She muttered softly, looking away from the massive seeker and curling up into a ball in the corner of the room where she had woken up.

Starscream almost didn't hear the small whisper, but he recognized the sparkling's actions well enough. His spark panged sharply and urged him forward, but he simply snarled and turned away from the quivering organic insect.

Why should she apologize to him? It confused him immensely, how that she insisted on apologizing to him when he had never shown any sign of caring for the tiny thing.

But he did care. His spark nudged him gently, planting the thought in his head like only the most accomplished virus could.

Starscream fumed internally, standing upright with a pained grunt as he jarred the still oozing wounds on his back and wings. The sparkling shrunk back even further into her corner, pulling her legs up close to her helm. He ignored her as best he could, but the ever steady pattering of her fuel pump remained constant in his audios.

It served only to agitate him further, all the while soothing the buzzing of his spark.

The seeker snarled and swung his servo viciously into the wall closest to him with a resounding cracking of concrete and metal. Starscream unsuccessfully hid a wince of pain at the new throbbing in his servo and increased vigor at which his spark churned in its chamber.

The sparkling whimpered quietly below, large brown optics staring up at him and filling with a coolant of some kind as he stood over her.

It was then that Starscream realized that his frame was shaking.

Starscream gritted his denta harshly, and removed his servo from the crater in the wall before stalking out of the building.

He couldn't think.

Not with his slagging spark acting the way it did whenever the human squishy was around.

The seeker vented heavily when the evening sun hit his wings, straightening his struts and stretching them as much as he dared. He then proceeded to make his way towards the highest point in the city he could reach –in this case, the top of a large corporate building a ways out form the epicenter of the Mission City battle.

His seeker coding was getting to him in more ways than one it seemed. Starscream thought darkly as he scaled the side of the building, digging his clawed servos and pedes into the cement structure.

It was getting harder and harder to keep his processes straight the longer he stayed on the ground. His seeker claustrophobia had so far stayed relatively unnoticed, the open sky helped a lot with that, but it wouldn't be long before the walls of his temporary hideout started closing in on him.

He needed to fly. Sooner rather than later.

The stresses on his frame and spark were only increasing the longer he went without feeling the wind on his wings. The fact that he had been fighting his spark at every turn, denying the very essence of his soul and being, hadn't been all that healthy on his state of mind either he supposed.

Starscream vented again as he settled on the edge of the building and overlooked the ruins of the city.

The sooner he got off this wretched mud ball of a planet the better.

The weary seeker stayed up on the building for several groons before he started making his way back down in the dark. The time to think and strategize had done him good, and Starscream felt that he had regained some semblance of control by the time he returned to his alcove in the ruins.

He decided that he would keep the human sparkling around, if simply for a source of amusement while he was trapped in the city. It also doubled as an experiment of sorts, to see just how far he could push the fleshling and still keep her dependent.

His spark whirred agitatedly, as if sensing his ill will towards what it had labeled as his sparkling.

Starscream ignored it with a malicious smirk as his optics searched the area for the tiny form of the human fleshling.

Perhaps she would even be useful someday. The Autobots would never suspect a human spy amongst them, after all.

Starscream frowned, all such thoughts discarded for the moment as he continued searching for the sparkling. His spark murmured unhappily; worry leeching through his processes when he didn't immediately find her in the corner where he had left her.

Snarling viciously, Starscream whirled around rapidly and activated his external sensors to begin sweeping the area.

Now where had the slagging sparkling gone!?

The seeker's spark was working itself into a frenzy as he searched for her, scanning every corner and crevice of the decidedly empty building.

Starscream growled lowly as he rounded a corner in continued search for the errant sparkling. His central processes were overwhelmed with a torrent of conflicting emotions. He was frustrated beyond his wits, anxious, concerned, and confused on how he was supposed to deal with it all at the same time.

And to top off every-fragging-thing else, his energon reserves were dipping down faster than he would be able to ration his subspace stores from having his scanners active for an extended period.

Then, just as he was ready to assume the human sparkling had either crawled off somewhere to offline or finally had the self-preservation instinct to run away, a red blotch showed up on his thermal scanner indicating a life sign.

Switching off his scanners, Starscream crouched down slowly to inspect where the reading had come from.

... And promptly came faceplate to faceplate with the tiny organic.

The squishy let out a shrill shriek of surprise, sending the seeker reeling back at the pitch of it. Starscream winced and growled even as his spark instantly calmed its whirling. He had no idea organics could even make such a sound!

"Fleshling!" Starscream hissed slowly, expressing his irritation.

"Get out! Get out -go away!" The sparkling shrieked and shouted, scrambling desperately to cover herself.

It was then that the seeker noticed that her strange cloth coverings had been removed from her lower half. If he had had any doubts the organic was a femme before, he found them all but nonexistent. Only a femme would be so defensive because of a little exposed protoform.

"Cease your incessant noise at once!" he ordered firmly, his tone brooking no room for argument. The sparkling went stiff; her back still turned towards him in a poor attempt to conceal herself.

Starscream scoffed at the tiny scraplet, suddenly finding much more amusement in the situation than he had before. "I would care little if you waltzed around in your bare protoform, insect."

The sparkling turned towards him with a clearly disbelieving expression on her faceplates. Starscream smirked at that.

He wasn't lying to her; in fact, he was being completely honest for once. Her confusion was amusing though, and judging by the heat reddening her faceplates, the human sparkling was also quite embarrassed.

On Cybertron, one's protoform was nothing to be ashamed of and as a species they were primarily unconcerned by whether or not one chose to wear armor or any other form plating.

Granted many wore at least a thin layer of external plating to prevent dirt and grime, or any other form of corrosive of uncomfortable material from getting into their joints and gears. Starscream himself always had preferred to wear an elegant set of blue and red painted armor because of the protection it offered when flying through Cybertron's harsher atmosphere and to protect his internals from freezing whenever he went on an off planet mission.

Otherwise, he cared little.

From what he had seen though, humans tended to view things differently.

On to other matters though, now that the brief amusement had faded, Starscream decided that he would have to lay down some ground rules.

By this point in time, the sparkling had come out from behind her crevice and was looking at him sheepishly, twiddling her digits in the yellow filaments on her helm.

Without really realizing that he had done so, Starscream had scooped up the tiny organic in his servo and clutched her tightly. The sparkling squeaked in surprised and squirmed, but quickly gave up when she realized she couldn't move.

Alexis frowned and attempted to glare at the giant mech holding her like a ragdoll. And failed. Miserably. At best, her face contorted into something resembling a cross between a pout and a grimace.

She didn't know what she had done to make him so upset, but she didn't mind as long as he wasn't trying to hurt her or doing his weird snarly thing. Besides, this was a different kind of upset. She could tell.

She still didn't know exactly why he was upset, just that he was and it was different then whenever he had been upset before. This upset wasn't directed at her.

"Hey!" Alexis banged her tiny fist against the side of his servo. There was no response, so she tried wiggling free again, only to choke on a pained whimper where the cuts on her back caught on the sharp edges of Starscream's hand.

The grip on her body loosened. Not hardly enough to be noticeable, but enough that the pressure on her back was gone.

Alexis chewed on her lip nervously, deciding that it would be best to just wait for him to talk first.

Eventually Starscream spoke, his tone harsh and demanding, "Why did you move from where I left you!?"

Alexis shrunk down at the sound of his voice. It reminded her of something, something not so good and it made her heart speed up. She didn't like it when he spoke like that. She had only been looking for a good place to use the bathroom.

She swallowed uneasily and looked up at the massive robot, scrutinizing how he refused to look at her.

Alexis waited a moment to collect herself before deciding to break the silence, "I'm sorry if I scared you."

Starscream jolted slightly at this, "What the pit would give you the idea that I was scared, fleshling?" he sneered darkly, studiously ignoring how true the sparkling's observation rang within his spark.

He refused to admit to being… scared.

The seeker fumed quietly for a tense klick before setting the sparkling down none too gently on the folded lump of plastic tarp.

"Let me make this clear to you, insect." Starscream snarled scathingly from where he towered above the tiny human sparkling, "You will do nothing without my explicit permission and will follow my commands without hesitation. Does that compute?"

Alexis whimpered slightly and clutched her aching sides as she looked up at Starscream with watery eyes as he continued.

"You are my property and you will answer only to me. You are mine now. As long as you obey me, you may live to survive this."

Starscream's voice was dark and foreboding, promising many things that Alexis was too young to possibly understand. All she could do was curl into herself under the gaze of those glinting crimson optics, her eyes never leaving his frame. She didn't fully understand why, but she trusted him. She trusted him even though he was sometimes violent and scared her. She had nothing else anymore; he had been there when she was hurt and that was enough for her.

Neither would truly understand the significance of a seeker claiming something as his, not for a long time. Especially when that something was a sparkling.


	9. Chapter 9

**AN:**

 **Hello all! Semi-reasonable update timing this week! The latest chapter came along really nicely so I was able to get this one out on time!**

 **To himelove22:** _Thanks! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well!_

 **To Autobot Aftershock: **_Starscream can be quite an aft at times, can't he? Poor Alexis indeed. It doesn't get much better in this chapter either, I'm afraid. *cringes*_

 **To SunnySides:** _Ah yes, what Starscream failed to realize is that he and his spark are one and the same, meaning that his spark is just as sly as he is! Poor 'Screamer's spark is such a troll. As for the Autobots… Well they'll be showing up soon enough… *cough*chapter11*cough*_

 **To TatteredAngel42 : **_Hhehe, yup his spark has officially laid claim on our dear little Alexis. Glad you enjoyed last chapter; I hope this one is just as good!_

 **Thanks again for all the fav's/follow's and reviews! I really appreciate all the feedback I'm getting from you guys!  
I know a lot of you are getting a bit anxious for the Autobots to show up and for Starscream to stop being such a stubborn aft. Well, I'm not gonna say much but chapter 10 is when things really start picking up. I also wanted to put in a slight warning that because this story is intended to cover more than just a few years of Alexis's life, there are going to be some time skips here and there. That way you guys aren't surprised when it happens!**

 **Now then, fav/follow/review and enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!

* * *

 **Always**

" _In short, when a person is always to deceive, it is impossible to be consistent."_

~ Jane Austen

 **Chapter Nine**

Alexis didn't move very much for the next hour or so. Of course, it seemed to her that she hadn't moved in ages, but she was almost afraid to move after Starscream had so clearly stated that she was his.

She still wasn't sure what to make of it all yet.

Mostly though, she wasn't moving simply because she hurt so much.

The small girl hadn't realized it was even possible to hurt so bad until now. Maybe if she hurt this much already, she wouldn't be able to hurt worse if she moved?

Cautiously, Alexis shifted just the slightest bit –uncurling her legs to try and stretch the cramped muscles.

She had been wrong.

Alexis choked on a pained gasp and her eyes watered. Yes, yes it apparently was possible to hurt more than she already did. She hurt a lot more now.

The tiny blonde girl did her best not to make a sound as she tenderly finished shifting to a more comfortable position. It took a tremendous amount of effort not to scream and cry, but it gave her something to focus on instead of the pain.

She didn't know why she hurt so much worse now than she did before.

When she had gotten up to use the bathroom after Starscream left, she had only been a little sore -mostly just really stiff.

But now it felt like her entire back was on fire and all her whole body felt bruised and leaden. There was also a large welt on the back of her head that she didn't remember how she got. There still was the fuzzy, clouded feeling in her head too.

Alexis glanced up at the massive metal being seated stiffly on the other side of the room. His red eyes were open, but they didn't seem to be seeing anything. They seemed dim, and it made her frown.

Starscream had pretty much ignored her since he claimed her. If you could call staring directly at her with a confused/thoughtful glare for the last hour ignoring her. He had drunk part of a glowing blue cube that came out of thin air before he had sat down and started staring at her.

Alexis wasn't sure what she was supposed to do now.

Eventually exhaustion won out after a several long minutes watching Starscream from her bundle in the corner and she fell asleep.

* * *

When Alexis woke up it was dark.

It made her uneasy how dark it was. The ruins seemed to leech darkness even in the daylight, but at night it seemed almost like the shadows had come alive. She had no idea how long she had been asleep, but she had probably slept through the rest of the evening and into the middle of the night.

Her eyes flickered back and forth in the dark, her body still as she curled tighter around herself. She never had liked the dark. The girls eyes locked onto where she could see the faint moonlight glinting off of Starscream's frame and the tenseness in her muscles eased almost instantly as she focused on him.

He was working on something, his hands glinting in the silver light every time they moved. It was obvious that he hadn't seen she was awake with the way his crimson optics stayed fixated on whatever it was that he was doing –the crimson light looking almost soft when glinting with the moonlight.

Alexis couldn't help but notice how different he looked right then.

He was calm. Focused. The way he moved was precise and what she could see of his face was determined and attentive.

It was fascinating.

The small girl in the corner stifled a yawn, her eyes drooping.

"Go back to recharge, scraplet." Starscream stated in his usual scratchy tone, so softly that she almost didn't hear it. He never looked up from his work and it made it hard for her to believe that he had said anything at all.

Still, it comforted her.

Alexis stayed up as long as she could, just watching him, finding a sort of peace seeing this new side of her guardian.

* * *

Starscream worked steadfastly throughout the lingering hours of the night cycle.

He had done the best he could with his limited and non-existential supplies, but he finally felt like his thrusters were repaired enough to let his self-repair systems take over. Having access to his energon rations had helped to significantly improve his nanites' efficiency in their repair efforts.

Starscream was confident that he would be able to fully transform within the next two rotations at most.

The biggest problem he would have would be dislodging the shrapnel and other debris lodged in his back and wings. There was just no physical way for him to do it himself.

The seeker rumbled lowly, glancing at the human sparkling as she shifted in the corner at the sound. His spark purred contently for now, pleased that its claim on the insect had finally been accepted.

Starscream scowled lightly. Why the pit did everything have to be so… complicated!?

Nonetheless, if he didn't get off the planet soon he would be in for a slag ton of trouble. The Autobots were sure to have noticed the explosion if any of Prime's mechs were worth their energon. It would only be a matter of cycles before they sent someone to investigate.

And that was definitely not something Starscream wanted to deal with.

Reaching over the slight distance between himself and the sparkling, Starscream prodded her roughly with the blunt edge of his digit. The fleshling moaned and rolled away from the metal of said digit.

Starscream made a disgusted face. The foolish human had stayed awake watching him for a good portion of its recharge cycle instead of actually recharging, so he wouldn't be surprised if she was exhausted.

Never mind that Starscream himself also had forgone recharge in favor of working on his thrusters and was exhausted as well. Not the best idea when running off fumes, but he really didn't want to stay grounded any longer then he had to.

The seeker prodded at the sparkling once more, this time purposefully uncurling the human's limbs.

"Five m're minutes." Alexis mumbled into the tarp, her already quite voice muffled by the course material.

Before Starscream could even realize it, she had already returned to her previous curled up position. His spark pulsed with an alien fondness that the seeker clamped down on viciously. "You will assist me fleshling!"

Alexis stretched, wincing when the cuts on her back pulled tightly and burned, "Nuh-uh, go 'way." Came the muttered response to his demands.

"Do not vex me, scraplet!" Starscream growled, unceremoniously picking up the human by her coverings and placing her on her feet.

The girl squeaked slightly and nearly fell on her face at being shifted to an upright position so suddenly, it was only by grasping at Starscream's lingering servo that Alexis was able to balance herself. Only to fall to her hands and knees with a strangled "Hey!" when he promptly jerked his servo out from under her.

"I-" Starscream gritted his denta, trying to convince himself that he wasn't _asking_ for help –that he was simply commanding her, "I require assistance removing the shrapnel from my back and wings."

Alexis looked up at him blankly, her eyes still clouded with sleep. "O..ookay." She paused and rubbed her face with the back of one hand, "Can I pee first?"

Starscream hesitated, clearly baffled by the term but decided that if it was something unsightly that organics did then he wanted no part of it.

"Fine, but make it quick." The seeker stated sharply, annoyed at how easily he acquiesced to the sparkling's demands.

Starscream didn't have much time to ponder this new development before the human insect had returned, surprisingly faster than what he had expected. She was wiping her hands on the material draped across her legs and looking up towards him expectantly.

The seeker resisted the urge to cringe at whatever contaminants the organic might be about to smear all over his frame, and shifted slightly to hold his servo out.

The sparkling glanced down at it, before looked back up at him. Starscream vented lightly, "Do you expect me to lie down on my faceplates for you? Get on!" he snapped irritably, not at all looking forward to having the fleshling crawling all over his body.

Wary, but not phased in the slightest by his tone, Alexis quickly scrambled into the massive being's hand. The already tiny girl seemed even smaller when Starscream's thumb managed to tower above her when she grabbed onto it to anchor herself.

"So what am I supposed to be doing?" Alexis asked with simple curiosity as Starscream brought his hand up to his shoulder.

Starscream grunted as his back stretched to accommodate his movements, "Because of your… small size, you are better equipped to remove the shrapnel from my cabling." Starscream stated tersely.

Alexis nodded slowly, and then made a face. "What's _shhh_ -shkrapnel?"

The seeker vented harshly, trying his hardest to reign in his temper and get the whole process over with as quickly as possible.

"Shrapnel." Starscream corrected through gritted denta, "It's the excruciatingly painful metal shards that are cutting into my body every time I move. You will remove them."

"Oh." The girl whispered, winced, and finally seemed to understand. "And you want me to pull them out?" She asked, making sure that she understood correctly.

Another strained vent. " _Yes._ I want you to pull them out."

Primus he sounded like dimwitted caregiver.

"Okay!"

Starscream's processors stuttered at how completely willing, eager even, to help him the sparkling was. It made no sense to him. He was so used to everything being a big game of 'what's in it for me?' that he had forgotten that not everything had to be as such.

It was baffling and incensing at the same time.

He was going soft around the sparkling.

His spark pulsed with a sense of smug satisfaction that made him want to purge.

It was getting harder and harder to ignore his spark. Every time he ignored it, his fragging spark would only pulse back stronger than ever.

Starscream snarled lowly, dumped the sparkling onto his shoulder, and lowered his servo. The human was _not_ his sparkling, or even remotely close to it no matter how much his spark insisted otherwise. He had claimed her as property, nothing more.

At most she would be his pet, his personal servant. Nothing more.

* * *

Alexis still wasn't sure exactly what she was supposed to do, but Starscream had suddenly gone very still and quiet, so she decided that for now her questions would have to wait.

The small girl's insides fluttered queasily, both from hunger and nervousness at being so far up from the ground. If she fell from this height she'd go splat and that would be the end of that.

It was not a confidence inspiring thought.

She hadn't expected to be this close to the giant being so soon. Especially not while he was awake. It was exhilarating and terrifying at the same time.

Still, the closeness sent shivers down her spine and she couldn't help but be in awe.

Cautiously, Alexis stepped around what appeared to be a vent or propeller of some sort and peered down the almost vertical expanse of Starscream's back. Her shoulders slumped. This was not going to be as easy as when he was lying down.

Ever so carefully, she began lowering herself down his shoulders.

Almost instantly, Alexis caught sight of a glowing pool of blue and a long piece of rebar sticking up out of it and began making her way towards it.

As it turned out, it actually wasn't that hard to navigate the metal plates and cables that made up Starscream's body. There were plenty of handholds and small gaps and ledges that she could use to lever herself up and down the metal giant's back. The only hard part would be getting around his wings, which were smooth and flat against his back.

When Alexis finally got to the rod sticking out of a large gash, she suddenly became aware that there was blood… _Starscream's_ _blood_ , everywhere. Most of it appeared to have crusted around the wound, but it still was slowly seeping blue and pooling in the crevices of his armour.

"Starscream?" Alexis called out hesitantly, not sure if he would be able to hear her. "Starscream?" She tried again, slightly louder this time.

"What is it fleshling!?" Starscream barked, and Alexis could feel the tension in his voice vibrate though his frame.

"You're bleeding!" Alexis stated, trying hard not to start panicking.

Starscream didn't respond immediately, and Alexis shifted slightly to get a closer view of the rod sticking out of his plating. In the process, the small girl slipped on the blue-coated metal and was only able to catch herself on a jagged edge to keep from falling.

She could feel the way Starscream instantly tensed and the sharp intake of air at her movement and shied back. "I'm sorry! I don't know what to do!"

Alexis was close to collapsing in tears now. She couldn't do this. She was hurting him -she just knew she was. She was useless and couldn't ever do anything right!

She started crying for real now, but not because she didn't know what to do, but because she had no idea why she suddenly felt this way. She couldn't remember, all she knew was that it felt like it was true.

"Enough of this!" Starscream stated slowly, his tone tight and controlled. Alexis whimpered and buried her head in her shoulder while she clung to the plating on Starscream's back. "I can only feel that you are near one of the wounds; I need you to describe what you are seeing to me."

Alexis had already started nodding before she remembered that he wouldn't be able to see her and responded with a weak, "Okay."

Starscream offered nothing more in the way of encouragement, but she didn't need it. She could do this. If Starscream didn't think she was able, then he never would have asked her to help him, the girl reasoned logically. Starscream apparently thought she was good for something, even if he didn't show it very well, and that helped to silence the voice in her head that told her she wasn't.

With a muffled sniffle, Alexis wiped her face on the sleeve of her shirt and began describing the hole in Starscream's back the best she could.

"It's bleeding… a lot of blue stuff." She started hesitantly, gaining more confidence as she spoke. It was a good distraction and made it easier not to panic. "There is a rusty metal rod poking out…"

"How long is the rod?" Starscream interrupted, his voice rumbling under Alexis's feet.

"Uh…" The girl paused, trying to remember some of the measurements she learned in school. "Maybe… four feet? I think?" Alexis responded, chewing her lip as she did so. Four sounded about right.

Starscream shifted slightly underneath her and she pressed herself closer to his armor and held on that much tighter. There was a soft whoosh of air that sounded more like a sigh than the normal quiet whirring that he always made.

Alexis felt her heart sink.

There was another gust of air before Starscream finally said something, "It doesn't matter, can you remove the obstruction?"

The girl took a few seconds to process the request, her mind stumbling slightly on the word _obstruction_ which she guessed could only mean the rod, since that was the only thing that they had been talking about. "Ummm, I can try..."

"Then do so!" Starscream hissed, more pain seeping into his voice then he had intended. Despite the human sparkling being so tiny, even the slightest of her movements sent waves of pain through his frame due to the sensitive paneling the around the wound.

Alexis tried not to be upset by the tone Starscream used and immediately set about trying to get enough leverage to pull the rod out.

It was hard because the blue stuff coming out of the wound, Starscream's blood, made everything really slippery and hard to navigate without sliding around. She could feel him tensing, and it made her even more frantic to hurry up and get it over with.

It was like a band-aid. The faster it came off the better.

Right?

Alexis hoped so. She really, really, _really_ , didn't want to hurt Starscream any more.

Ignoring the slight confusion she had, the confusion of remembering something she was sure someone had told her but not knowing who or when, the girl carefully reached out to grab the rod. She froze just as she touched it, hesitating.

The faster she got this over with the less it would hurt, she reminded herself.

And then she grabbed the rod with both hands and yanked upwards.

Everything that happened next seemed to happen all at once.

Starscream jerked, a short roar ripping out of him and Alexis went flying. The rod hit the ground first with a clang and blue started flying everywhere. She was scrambling to grab onto of something to keep her balance, but Starscream's blood _burned_.

She hadn't even realized it had gotten on her hand until it started burning.

Alexis screamed, instinctively letting go to cradle her hands before she realized she was falling.

Starscream reacted instantly, forgetting his own pain and relief at the removal of the rebar and flicked his wings out to slow her fall. His spark whirred faster than he could keep up with, urging and directing his movements at a speed he wouldn't have been able to react with normally with his injuries.

There was no way for him to turn around fast enough to catch her, but he could at least break her fall.

The seeker's wings strained from the sudden movements and his wing cons screamed in protest, but he ignored it. It wasn't half as distracting as his frantic spark.

Starscream's audios caught the quiet thump of her body hitting the floor and his spark seemed to freeze.

An astrosecond later he was fully turned around and holding the sparkling in his servos. In the next instant he was running a scan over her, and his spark surging in relief when he found no significant injuries. Her organic struts were all intact and he could detect no internal leaking.

She was still consious.

Barely, but she was still conscious. She was in pain though and Starscream instantly caught sight of the slight energon reading emitting from her.

Her servos were coated in his life-en, and he was watching it burn- no _eat-_ through her fleshy protoform right before his optics.

Starscream immediately knew that he had to get it off her before it hit her fluid lines.

Within the next klick he had nicked a small coolant line in his forearm and was pouring the clear fluid over the sparkling wherever he saw his energon on his scanners.

A mech's coolant served both to cool a mech frame and allow unobstructed flow of energon throughout a mech's fluid lines. If a mech's coolant lines were severed it would cause the mech to both overheat and prevent any severed evergon lines from sealing themselves.

If Starscream was correct, dousing the sparkling in coolant would be enough to counteract and wash away the corrosive effects of his energon.

Starscream's spark whirled anxiously, and the seeker did his best to ignore the waves of concern washing through his processors. The insect's well being was only a concern because a maimed slave was useless to him.

His spark buzzed agitatedly at his continued stubbornness, but he pushed the feeling aside in favor of running another scan over the human.

As the coolant continued dripping over the tiny girl's body, her squishy face slowly relaxed with only faint signs of any pain.

Starscream's spark finally calmed and he relaxed his own frame and wings from the stiffened position they had risen to.

Alexis shifted in her pain induced delirium and curled up against the side of Starscream's servo and sighed as she drifted into sleep.

... Alexis.

Starscream lip plates formed a thin line and he glared down at the human insect in his grasp. He had never actually referred to the sparkling with her designation before, not vocally and certainly not in his processor.

The seeker stood up stiffly and deposited the human on the pile of tarp in the corner with a low snarl.

He needed to finish scouting the last quadrant of the city.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN:**

 **Hoorah! Ten chapters in!**

 **I just want to make an important note before you read this chapter, so I hope you all don't mind. I recently discovered the 2007 movie comic sequel called the Reign of Starscream and discovered that there are a lot of similarities between it and what I plan for my story. That being said, I do not plan on following its events directly. At most there will be several places where the plots coincide simply to keep my story as canon as possible while still being AU.**

 **To SunnySides:** _Congrats! You're officially the only reviewer I had last chapter! Thanks for sticking it out! And yes, Starscream unconsciously being so tender towards Alexis is definitely my favorite part of writing him. Don't you worry though; he's coming around slowly._

 **So I only got one review last chapter and am just a little down. I really do appreciate you guys when you comment on my story and I hope it shows when I write my responses. Heck, thats the only reason I write responses. I want my reviewers to know that they are just as much of an inspiration to me as anything else.**

 **Anyways, thanks for all the fav's and follows! I dearly appreciate all of you! Enjoy!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

* * *

 **Always**

" _That for which we find words is something already dead in our hearts. There is always a kind of contempt in the act of speaking."_

 _~Friedrich Nietzsche_

 **Chapter Ten**

Starscream was only gone for several breems before he returned, his spark haunting him with urges to remain close to the human sparkling.

The insect seemed to plague his every thought and his spark drove him mad with foreign emotions that a high ranking Decepticon seeker such as himself should never have been able to feel. He had fought against it so hard he could hardly process anything with the two conflicting drives between his spark and processors.

It was wearing.

His relays were beyond frayed at this point.

Starscream winced when his spark sent a particularly desperate pulse rippling through his spark chamber and into his frame. It was nearly a constant throb at this point, pulsing alongside his injuries in time with the helm-ache that had slowly been building over the past few cycles.

It was time to leave.

Before his own spark killed him.

His repairs were hardly enough to be considered anything even remotely close to the true meaning of the word, but with the energon from his subspace rations and what little he had been able to do to boost his self-repair systems, Starscream felt he might just make it.

If it were up to him he would leave right then and there.

But he didn't.

Starscream smirked darkly, his crimson optics glinting dangerously. He had to pick up a few things. After all, how was he supposed to get back into Megatron's good graces unless he had a peace offering of some sort?

* * *

Alexis had barely woken up when she heard the familiar, but alien sounds of metal against metal and the whirring of gears that she had come to recognize as Starscream.

She didn't understand how someone as big as he was could be so quiet, but had come to accept it as simply another curiosity when it came to the massive metal being.

The next thing she noticed was the dull throbbing in her right hand, not really painful but she knew it didn't feel good. It was almost a numb feeling.

She was also covered in a bunch clear slimy stuff that smelled like oil but felt like slimy water.

It was almost like drool.

The girl's nose wrinkled up and Alexis made a face. Whatever it was, it was _gross._

Alexis groaned, trying to remember what had happened. Oh yeah. She had fallen off of Starscream's back. Other than not really being able to feel her hand, she didn't feel any worse than before. That was not to say that she felt very great. Everything hurt just a little bit at this point and her back still felt like it was on fire.

Tentatively, Alexis reached behind her to feel the worst of the cuts of the back of her neck.

She hissed when her fingers came back coated in red. That was not good. She must have broken the cuts on her back open again when she had fallen.

She was honestly surprised that she wasn't a puddle on the floor. Starscream's back and shoulders were a long way up, even when sitting down. It didn't make sense.

Unless Starscream had caught her, or stopped her from falling somehow.

Alexis decided that it didn't really matter.

Even if she asked Starscream about it, from what she had experienced so far he was less than likely to admit anything to her.

Speaking of the metal being, he was acting rather strange as he went about whatever it was that he was doing. It looked to her like he was systematically arranging things and then he would do a weird flicking motion with his hands...

And then the barrel he had been holding disappeared!

Like gone, _poof_ , into thin air! It was just gone!

Alexis gasped, unable to hide her awe.

That was so cool!

"How do you do that?" The question was out of her mouth before she even realized she had said it.

Starscream's attention snapped over to the human sparkling in the corner where she was watching him with widened optics.

"What?"

"How do you do the disappearing thing?" Alexis asked, wobbling unsteadily as she stood up and tried her best not to start crying because it hurt so much. "Is it a magic trick?"

Starscream snorted at that. The humans must have no concept of the sciences that Cybertronians took for granted, for the organic sparkling to view his subspacing as a meager trick. "The science is far beyond your race's comprehension, fleshling."

The seeker paused as the curiosity died in her strange brown optics and his spark pushed against its chamber, reminding him of a time when a young seeker sparkling's curiosities had been turned down simply because of his frame type.

Starscream vented, "Subspace. It called subspace; it's where I can store things with no concern for the weight and size of an object." He explained tersely, resetting his optics to push back memories long forgotten.

"Oh." Alexis responded, "That's cool."

Starscream let out a noncommittal grunt and proceeded to continue placing the barrels of unsourced energon into his subspace. The sparkling seemed content enough after his less than explanatory answer and stayed relatively silent as she observed him.

It was a strange feeling for Starscream -being under such scrutiny from a human, a human sparkling no less.

It irritated him that he found it so distracting.

He would be leaving the planet in a matter of joors and he had no reason to even care what the scraplet was doing. He was above her; her pitifully primitive thoughts meant nothing to him.

Starscream stewed in the silence for several long klicks, pouring all his focus into placing the energon barrels into his somewhat stable subspace pockets. It was a futile exercise and the seeker's patience was wearing thin.

His wings ached, and Starscream had to consciously relax them –in the process sending a spasm of pain rippling down his struts. The sparkling just continued to watch him quietly all the while.

Starscream looked to the ceiling and vented, "What!" He snapped, finally breaking the silence.

The sparkling didn't look the least bit startled, instead her expression was reminiscent of intense observation.

"Where are you going?" Alexis asked suddenly, her brown eyes darting up to stare directly into Starscream's own crimson optics.

The seeker was completely thrown off-guard by such an astute question –observation- coming from the sparkling. He really shouldn't have been; the human insect had already proven multiple times to be very perceptive when it came to what went on around her. As such, he saw no point in telling her anything other than the truth.

"I am leaving this pitiful planet to rejoin my own kind." Starscream stated coldly as he finished subspacing the last of the containers.

Alexis's eyes widened.

He was leaving?! The planet?

So… Starscream was an alien then?

And there were more like him?

It was an awful lot for the young girl to take in all at once. She supposed it wasn't all that surprising though. Alexis had initially suspected that Starscream might have been an alien, but had disregarded the theory in favor of trying to keep up with everything that had been going on recently.

But now… Starscream, her guardian angel, Starscream…

He was an alien robot!

" _Mech_. I am a mech, not a robot. Not only that, I am a Seeker of the highest elite." Starscream hissed lowly, his tone taking on a much more offended whine then he would have liked.

It was only then that Alexis realized that she had said her thoughts aloud.

"Oh. Sorry." She apologized quietly.

 _Mech._ It was a strange and new term to the young girl, but it did seem more fitting. She hadn't really thought of him as a robot, the word always made her think of some boxy and drone-like thing from the old tv shows she had seen.

Alexis's nose crinkled as she remembered something she couldn't really remember.

Starscream was certainly not _that._ She had known this from the start. Starscream was easily smarter than any other adult she had met and had emotions just like her. That meant he was not a robot to her.

Still... It was nice to have a word to describe him other than just 'Starscream'.

And that other word, he called himself a seeker. He seemed really proud of it, and it made Alexis wonder if it might be a title of some sort. Like Mr. or Sir.

The girl's face scrunched together as she contemplated this. That didn't really seem to fit either. She would have to ask him.

"What's a seeker?"

Starscream smiled enigmatically, that same beautiful and deadly smile that he always smiled when he was scheming. Alexis had quickly learned to be wary when he smiled like that and for good reason.

"Why don't you watch and find out, hmm?" The mech stated smoothly, his voice low and sweet.

Alexis swallowed nervously and watched Starscream fluidly duck out of the building. However, curiosity drove her forward and she followed him out through the rubble as quickly as she could without straining her back too much.

Starscream made no effort to slow his pace for her, so by the time he had walked to where he wanted to show her whatever it was that he meant her to see Alexis was wheezing from trying to keep up with the massive mech. The tiny girl clutched her sides painfully as she tried to catch her breath without collapsing from the renewed throbbing of her head and back.

Starscream just stood there watching her, a confused expression on his faceplates, but it was replaced with a sneer as soon as her brown orbs made contact with his blood red ones.

The seeker had chosen the biggest open area he could find in the ruined city and now stood in what appeared to be the shambled remains of a pavilion.

He had chosen this area because he only had one chance to transform. He couldn't afford the risk of damaging himself further by needlessly changing forms.

Starscream also only had enough fuel to take off once. Every last drop of his energon reserves would be used up by exiting Earth's atmosphere and breaking orbit. If he made a single error, miscalculated a single vector, he would be sent spiraling back down to the planet.

He only had once chance at this.

It was not a pleasant thought.

Glancing back down at the human sparkling, Starscream let himself have one last smirk. On the inside his spark was spinning in turmoil, already knowing what the seeker planned to do.

Starscream mentally wrenched his thoughts away from the sparkling and focused on the fact that he would soon be rejoining the Decepticon fleet. He still hadn't planned far enough ahead to figure out how exactly he would get back into Megatron's good graces, but he was confident he would think of something by the time he reached the flagship. Mostly confident.

He wasn't really looking forward to the beating he would no doubt receive upon his arrival, especially as injured as he already was.

Nope. Not looking forward to that at all.

With that happy thought Starscream slowly activated his t-cog and started his transformation protocols.

Normally he would have started from off a rooftop, but he didn't trust his frame enough to risk face planting in the dirt mid-transformation.

The process was painful and seemed agonizingly slow as pieces of his frame lifted and folded down, each piece whirling and snapping together in its place despite the shrapnel still lodged in his back and the tears in his armor. In his processor, Starscream knew for a fact that he could transform even slower, but there was a point at which slowing down a transformation process would become painful and frankly Starscream was in enough pain as it was.

Eventually though, the seeker was fully transformed and he couldn't help feeling a smug pride at how the sparkling gasped at his alt mode despite the pain as his armor settled into its new form.

The human child couldn't wrap her mind around what she had just seen. He just... Starscream just turned into a jet!

"You turn into a jet!?" Alexis half asked and half squealed. Well, more like she just squealed. It was so cool!

If Starscream could have nodded in his alternate form he would have, "This, scraplet, is what makes me a seeker." The transformed mech stated smugly.

Alexis nodded, her face alight with awe and curiosity. Much to Starscream's surprise the human sparkling had approached him to get a closer look. Even in alt mode, his jet form towered above the tiny human - his wings spanning several meters above her head. Even so, Starscream was fairly certain that had he been any closer to the ground he would have found the sparkling's fleshy hands trailing down his form.

Humans, he had observed, seemed to have a strong desire to touch everything they came in contact with.

It was an aching reminder of a time when his trine mates, his brothers, were around and there was no concept of personal space. They were brothers -there never was a need for it.

Starscream was wretched from unwanted memories by a bombardment of questions from the human insect. And here he thought humans needed to breathe.

"How fast can you fly? Can you fly in rob-mech mode? What kind of jet are you? How can you still talk? Why aren't you turning back?" Alexis asked rapidly, her excitement getting the best of her until she had to stop and suck some air back into her lungs.

Starscream never answered her questions and stayed silent as he determinedly ran all his system diagnostics and prepped for the vacuum of space.

"Starscream?" Alexis asked, her excitement slowly draining away as the silence grew.

Still no response.

Starscream's spark writhed, urging him not to do what he was about to do. The seeker refused to give into it though, resolutely rerouting his energon reserves to his thrusters despite the buzzing of his spark.

 _Wrong._

His thrusters ignited with a roar and began stirring up the dust and debris coating everything in the pavilion. The sparkling jolted back with a short cry at the sudden noise and started backing away as the jet started inching forwards.

" _Starscream!?_ "

The girl's shrieks sent his spark into a frenzy, burning and pressing wildly at the walls of his chamber. Starscream hissed sharply at the increased jolts of pain coming from his spark.

 _ **Wrong**_.

"My time here is finished, fleshling. I am leaving." Starscream stated tersely and if he had denta in this form he would be gritting them. He had the sudden urge to tell her that it would be alright, that he would be coming back.

Starscream swore and pushed his thrusters harder with a low hum of his engines.

Damn his spark for making him soft.

He would not have it.

With that he fully engaged his thrusters, pushing forward at full burn and picking up speed at an alarming rate. He had to if he expected to get airborne before hitting a building straight on. In a matter of astroseconds he was airborne and pulling up sharply, ascending at a rapid rate.

His spark _burned._

 _ **WRONG.**_

Alexis shrieked once more and darted behind a slab of cement sticking up out of the ground, covering her ears and crying. The heat from his thrusters irritated the already burned skin on her back as dust swirled violently everywhere and got into her eyes.

He was leaving.

Just like that.

He didn't even care.

Tears streamed down Alexis's face, leaving grimy streaks of mud on her cheeks. Despite the dust, the girl turned around and looked over the protruding ledge she was hiding behind, hoping to catch a glimpse of the seeker before he was gone.

She could only just make out the grey tinged streaks trailing behind the blurry dark spot that was Starscream.

Alexis hiccoughed, her tears only increasing.

He was gone.

The girl curled up on the ground and wrapped her arm around her legs and buried her face in her knees. Alexis sobbed, not caring about the ugly sounds she made as she cried.

No goodbyes, no nothing. He was gone and she was alone again.

Her guardian angel was gone.


	11. Chapter 11

**AN:**

 **Alright everyone! It's technically still Wednesday for me so no complaining about this chapter being late!**

 **To SashaPayne56: **_Thanks so much for reviewing! Don't worry, it might take a few chapters, but Screamer will be back soon enough. There is no way his spark would let him get away with abandoning his sparkling, and if it did, we wouldn't have much of a story now would we? Anyways, glad to know you're enjoying the story!_

 **To SunnySides : **_Okay, okay! *raises hands in submission* Here's your chapter, exactly one week after the last one! Lol, enjoy!_

 **To himelove22 : **_Poor Alexis indeed, my friend. Starscream really needs to get his act together doesn't he? Hope you enjoy this chapter!_

 **To ShadowWolfDemon19:** _You go right on ahead and do that! Unfortunately, I have a feeling that Starscream might just laugh and squish you if you tried. *winces* Don't worry though, his spark won't be letting up any time soon!_

 **To TatteredAngel42:** _Ho boy, thanks for such a comprehensive review! I really try hard to write my stories with realistic emotions and just the right touch of drama to make a good story. It was one of the main things I learned when writing some of my other stories and I try to make it show with Always. I honestly have poured my heart into this story and its characters, Starscream has always (haha, no pun intended) been my absolute favorite character that I could relate to, so writing him is both exciting and terrifying. I am super glad that you caught onto how Alexis's past and how it influences her reactions to Starscream's treatment of her. And you are totally right about his reaction to the Autobots! But shhh… No spoilers, just wait until you read this chapter!_

 **To** **ryannea reed** **:** _Thanks for reviewing! Starscream's personality is both a pleasure and a nightmare to write because he is such a convoluted mess of extremes. In this chapter we get to see what happens to our favorite human, so I hope you like it! (I can't type you username properly because FF thinks its a url, lol.)_

 **To Doragon Prime:** _Ah yes, plenty more where those came from! Keep reading and enjoy!_

 **To Fishy-Ninja:** _Muahhaha! I am the master of feels! You'd best prepare for more, because this chapter is packed with feels!_

 **Can I just say that I am really really excited about this chapter? The chapter we have all been waiting for? 'Cause I am! You'll all understand once you read it! Don't forget to review and tell me what you think!**

 **Also, holy slag guys! Eight freaking reviews! Thanks so much! You're all the best!**

* * *

 **Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot.**

 **Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!**

* * *

 **Always**

" _Survivors aren't always the strongest; sometimes they're the smartest, but more often simply the luckiest."_

 _\- Carrie Ryan_

 **Chapter Eleven**

 _/So far so good Ratch! No signs of Decepticon activity anywhere!/_

There was a low grumble from the other end of the comm-line, _/Hmm, just keep your optics open mechling. You saw the reports, something is going on out there -Con activity or not./_

 _/Guess that means I won't be coming back to base for a while then, huh?/_

A long vent, _/Not until we know for certain that there are no Decepticons lurking around in the shadows. The last thing we need is to be caught unawares because we were too busy licking our wounds./_

The younger mech grinned, or would have if he weren't speeding down the desert highway towards Mission City -what was left of it in any case.

 _/You got it doc bot! I'm nearing up on the location now, it seems to be in the dead center of the hot zone./_ The mech reported casually.

 _/Mission City?!/_ Came the incredulous response.

"The one and only."

Another gruff intake, _/Well, that's even more reason to be on high alert Bumblebee. Be cautious out there. I want you to report in at two groon intervals from here on out, compute?/_

Bumblebee groaned, but agreed nonetheless _. /Understood, Ratchet. If I spot anything I will be sure to report immediately./_

 _/Good mechling./_

The connection between the two mechs fizzled out and disconnected with a pop of static.

The scout payed the renewed silence no mind, easily used to far worse in his scouting missions on Cybertron. Besides, this was just a short trip in comparison as he had to return to his guardian duties as soon as he got back from this mission.

He'd only been called out because the rest of the team was so caught up trying to deal with the human government and all the politics that it involved. Optimus had been fronting the main waves of government officials, but it had still been a trying time for all of the 'Bots planet side.

Bumblebee wouldn't wish that responsibility on anyone, and felt bad that his Prime had to deal with it all on his own.

The yellow Camaro revved and surged forward at a speed well above what any human vehicle could achieve.

Still, Optimus never complained, so the scout figured that he had no right to complain about a short scouting trip.

Even if it was in the most dusty, barren, and least likely to contain Decepticons part of Earth that he had ever seen.

* * *

Alexis had no idea how long she had sat there, crying and watching Starscream's smoke trails fade into the blue sky. All she knew was that it hurt to cry because she had run out of tears. Her eyes burned and stung and the young girl felt utterly miserable.

Starscream had left her. Left her to be alone.

With no more tears left to cry, Alexis felt angry and rightly so in her opinion.

She had thought he would protect her.

She thought that he had been her guardian angel.

Tiny fists clenched and she fought the burning feeling that meant she was still trying to cry. No. She was done crying. Her tears had never done anything. Starscream never cared, so why should she cry?

If Starscream didn't care, why should she? Alexis reasoned with all the logic of a furious nine-year-old. She wouldn't care anymore, the girl determined. She wouldn't care about Starscream and she wouldn't care that he left her all alone and, and...

She just wouldn't care anymore.

Alexis stood up and kicked a small rock with as much force as she could muster.

It didn't make her feel any better.

Her back hurt and her head throbbed from all the crying she had done and she was starving.

Alexis didn't remember when she had eaten or even had a drink last. It then slowly dawned on her that she was probably going to be hungry for a long time. It made her wonder how long it would take to starve to death.

The girl sniffled and her eyes watered.

Not only had Starscream left her alone, he had left her to die.

Alexis didn't think that Starscream was a very good guardian angel. The girl scowled. She didn't believe in guardian angels she decided. If there was such a thing as a guardian angel then none of this would have ever happened and she would be happy.

Her head throbbed painfully and Alexis stumbled with a dizzy feeling.

She didn't remember ever being happy. She didn't remember much of anything except for when Starscream had found her. She sometimes would have familiar feelings, but none of them were pleasant.

It made her sad. It made her angry.

And she was hungry and alone.

Alexis pulled her arms closer to her body and rubbed them. It was still sunny out, but it seemed like the ruins of the city leeched all the warmth out of everything. She hadn't really been comfortably warm since Starscream had held her close to his chest.

She had felt safe there.

Alexis shook her head to keep from crying again and trudged slowly down the streets back to the sheltered remains in the building Starscream had found.

She didn't really know where else to go.

Her apartment had kind of gotten blown up.

As she walked, Alexis was suddenly aware that she could hear something. It was a low, loud and echoing rumble; a stark contrast to the eerie silence that had taken over the remains of the city.

The first thing she felt was a surge of hope -someone had come for her- but then she was also terrified. _Who_ would come for her?

And so Alexis did what had always come naturally to her.

She hid.

Alexis shifted slightly to peak around the pile of rubble.

She hadn't seen anything yet, but the rumbling roar that she had been hearing had gone away some time ago. While she had still been able to hear it she had gotten as close as she could to the direction it had come from, but it seemed like her efforts had been for nothing.

Her hiding spot was excellent though, and she felt quite proud of herself for finding it.

She had managed to climb up into the somewhat still standing shambles of a two story building and had squeezed herself into a tiny cranny that easily hid her tiny body. It also had the perfect gap for her to peak through and look down at whatever might be coming.

Alexis's stomach grumbled loudly and she curled into an even tighter ball of limbs.

She hadn't really realized how hungry she had been up until now. There had always been something to distract her and now that there wasn't...

It felt like she was going to be sick she was so hungry.

The small girl scrubbed at her face and tried not to yawn.

She was just so tired...

* * *

Bumblebee frowned from behind his mouth guard at the sight before him.

He had know that their battle in Mission City had caused a lot of damage and that the human governments had practically abandoned the city as a result, but coming back and seeing the destruction after the fact...

It made him feel a spark wrenching guilt- knowing that he had been a part of the destruction.

Given, he had had his legs torn off at the time and was more focused on shooting Decepticons than what was going on around him at the time. Still, Bumblebee felt that that was no excuse for the thousands of humans that had been displaced as a result.

It was a little too much like Praxus and Tyger Pax for his tastes.

Bumblebee decided that it would be best to just focus on scouting for now and get the job done. Optimus had already made it very clear to him, and the whole team really, that none of the destruction was their fault. That it was Megatron to blame and that they did everything to stop him before even more lives had been lost.

That there had been sacrifices on both sides.

The young scout's spark ached at the thought of their own sacrifices. Of Jazz.

Bumblebee knew that it was pointless to feel guilty over Jazz's death, that Jazz was a more than capable soldier and had known what he was doing when he had decided to take Megatron on by himself, but he still felt that he could've done something more.

That he should have been able to help him.

Instead, he had gotten his lower half blown off because of a rookie mistake.

Bumblebee vocoder whirled in an angry series of beeps and whirrs, his only way of expressing his frustration and grief.

The bright yellow mech vented slowly, consciously redirecting his processes. This mission was supposed to help him get back into action and out of his 'funk' as his charge Sam so eloquently had put it.

So far, his scans hadn't come back with any readings out of the ordinary, which was strange considering the seismic activity they had picked up mere joors before. The humans they worked with, now working to create a separate and autonomous organization called NEST, had insisted that it wasn't anything to worry about. They believed that it was probably a building collapsing and the rubble settling in the aftereffects of the battle.

Optimus hadn't wanted to risk it being something far more untoward and had sent Bumblebee to investigate.

Right now, Bumblebee was inclined to believe that the humans might have been right this time.

His scanners suddenly swarmed his HUD with a flurry of alerts and warnings, readings nearly off the scale with large amounts of residual energon radiation.

The type of radiation that only happened when processed energon had been ignited.

And processed energon did not naturally occur on Earth.

Bumblebee was instantly on high alert, his blasters automatically forming as he raised the energy weapon to the ready.

/ _This is Bumblebee reporting./_ The scout commed, his frequency low and his glyphs tightly formed. / _I have located the likely source of the seismic activity. The cause seems to have been an energon explosion of unknown magnitude./_ Bumblebee paused as he rounded as corner and glanced over the rubble before continuing. / _Permission to investigate?/_

 _/Permission granted. Be cautious out there./_ Came the slightly static filled response.

 _/Copy that, Ratchet. Bumblebee out./_

The scout tried to ignore the lingering silence in his audios. He had never known Ratchet to be so apprehensive about a mission. He hadn't really been the same since Jazz… since Jazz offlined.

Bumblebee hadn't ever mentioned it though.

Truth be told, the near constant attention wasn't something he would complain about. It was comforting, in a way, knowing that someone was watching his struts –even if it was a little annoying at times.

Bumblebee lowered his weapons, not subspacing them just yet, but relaxing just a little bit as he finished rounding off the perimeter. There was no evidence of any 'Con activity, but that wasn't enough to make him let down his guard for even a moment.

Crouching down, the scout collected a small sample of the debris at what seemed to be the epicenter of the blast.

It was actually really strange, Bumblebee noted, how the rumble formed around the explosion. It was obvious that the explosion had been from underneath another building -yet another question queued in his processor- but it was almost like something had… erupted from within the blast radius?

It didn't make any sense if there were no Decepticons around.

Bumblebee didn't know of anything else that could survive an explosion of that magnitude.

It didn't sit well with him.

It didn't sit well with him at all. Something just wasn't right about any of this. He was missing something, a vital clue to what was actually going on, but he didn't have the faintest idea what that something was.

Bumblebee shifted, his optics slowly dragging along the edges of the rumble -searching for some sign or clue and finding nothing.

The young scout vented, his doorwings drooping slightly when his scans came back inconclusive.

It seemed like his scanners weren't going to be much help. From here on out he was going to have to do things the hard way. Not that it was all that harder, it was more of a challenge then anything else for the scout.

Bumblebee's door wings perked up, their sensitivity inputs increasing tenfold as he increased their receptiveness to suit his needs. While in battle, a Praxian might be at a disadvantage because of the overly sensitive appendages, but while scouting they were invaluable resources that Bumblebee took full advantage of.

Every little shift of dust or settling of debris registered clearly through his doorwings, the vibrations easily louder than even a whisper.

For Bumblebee, every time he actually used his doorwings at their full sensitivity it was like seeing for the first time. He liked to compare it to seeing, because the sensory inputs from his doorwings were far beyond simple sound and vibration. If he were to close his optics, he would still be able to 'see' as clearly as he did with his optics open.

There wasn't really enough words to describe it in Bumblebee's opinion.

A sudden clatter of rubble caught Bumblebee's attention and his blaster was instantly at the ready and turned towards the source. It was distinctly different from the other sounds of rubble shifting and settling, but it was too small, too quiet of a noise for a full size mech to have made.

Bumblebee crept forward as silently as he could, his optics darting back and forth looking for the source, his doorwings straining to pinpoint the exactly location of the sound.

"Come out and show yourself, Con!" Bumblebee shouted, hoping to at least startle whoever was hiding out into the open.

He was prepared for almost anything.

Except for what he saw next.

There was a tiny blonde human, a child, curled up about optic level in a crevice on the remains of the second story building next to him.

Bumblebee's blasters were instantly lowered and he tried not to cringe when the obviously terrified girl shrunk further back into the crevice.

"Hey, hey, it's okay. I won't hurt you." The scout said softly, holding his servos open. He had no idea what this child had been through or how she might react to him. When the girl didn't react, Bumblebee tried again, "My designation is Bumblebee. What's yours?"

Alexis didn't respond, her heart leaping to her throat at the sight of the bright yellow mech. It was another one of them. He looked nothing like Starscream, but she could tell they were from the same place.

He was trying to talk to her, but she was too frozen to respond. He sounded nicer, he even introduced himself. He said he wouldn't hurt her.

She wasn't sure if she wanted to believe him or not.

Then he tried stepping forward to move closer to her and Alexis bolted.

Before Bumblebee could even blink an optic she was gone, scrambling rapidly through the back end of the ruined building.

Bumblebee vented and started following her as best he could, tracking her movements through the vibrations from the rubble and small rocks that shifted in her wake.

He should have expected something like this.

Especially if she was a survivor from the battle.

Bumblebee didn't even know why she was here. She should have been evacuated with the rest of the people, and if not then the rescue teams and Lennox's men should have found her when they were combing the city in the aftermath of the battle.

Somehow they must have missed her.

Bumblebee frowned behind his face mask. If she had been here since the battle, then that would be one, two... close to a week without food or shelter. The thought made the scout that much more determined to find her and get her somewhere safe.

However, as it turned out, the tiny girl was not so easy to track as he had anticipated.

She used her small size to sneak into places that he would never be able to get to and used it to her advantage while he had to go around or find another way past whatever obstacle was in his way. It quickly became frustrating, but Bumblebee also had to admire the girl.

Bumblebee eventually wound up in a small clearing, what used to be an intersection by the look of it, and had no idea where the girl had gone.

She'd lost him.

Bumblebee groaned, his wings flicking in frustration when he couldn't trace the girl. His scans were just about as useful. The byproduct radiation from the energon explosion made his scanners extremely limited in range and not all that accurate. It was like trying to see through static.

The scout vented heavily and started walking in what he could only guess was the direction the girl went. From her previous movements it seemed like while she was trying to hide, she wasn't trying to escape or run away. It was more like she was trying to stay in one area, one she was obviously more familiar with than he was.

Bumblebee stopped, his wings angling to try and pick up a faint rumbling sound.

It almost...

It almost sounded like Sam's stomach?

It was only there for a short second, but it was enough to give Bumblebee at least a clue on the girl's location.

As Bumblebee tracked the strange gurgling sound, he was frantically searching his subspace for any of the snacks or junk food that Sam often left lying around in his cab. If he was right, then he should be able to lure the girl out with some food. The scout didn't have to imagine how hungry she probably was right now.

He'd been there before.

Bumblebee let out a whispered 'Yes!' and a fist pump when he pulled out Sam's emergency knapsack that he liked to keep around in case he ever had another day like the one he'd had just after he met Bee in person.

It was filled with a tiny first aid kit, several granola bars and a bag of chips, a change of clothes, and a water bottle. Bumblebee quickly pulled out the change of clothes and re-subspaced them and left the rest in the bag. The girl would probably need everything else.

Another loud grumble led the scout to a building that had caved in on itself, forming a type of triangle with an empty space underneath.

Ever so carefully, Bumblebee crouched down with short hiss of his hydraulics and peered into the enclosure.

"Hello again." The scout stated softly, making sure that the girl had seen him before saying anything. She didn't run again, so Bumblebee hoped that was a good sign. "I have some food and water for you. I'm going to put it right here, okay?"

Alexis watched as the yellow mech slowly placed a worn knapsack inside the shelter and backed away. It was far enough inside that she could probably dart out and grab it without him reaching her, but it was close enough to the edge that he would be able to see her.

The girl's stomach grumbled again and Alexis eyed the bag hungrily.

Was he lying? She was too hungry to care at this point and she didn't have the energy to run any further.

Making up her mind, Alexis crept towards the bag -her eyes never leaving Bumblebee's still form. In one quick motion she grabbed it shrunk back down into the side of her shelter to inspect its contents.

The first thing that caught her attention was the water bottle and she drunk it down greedily, not caring that most of it wasn't even making it into her mouth. It was wet and that was good enough for her parched throat.

Next thing to go was the chips. Alexis forgoed the granola bars for now because she had never really been able to open them properly and she was hungry. Chips were easier. She stuffed them into her face as fast as she could, taking a drink of water every few chips to make it easier to swallow.

Bumblebee watched her carefully the entire time, concern showing plainly on his faceplates. He didn't dare move though, lest he startle her again.

He sat like that for a good breem, only shifting when her frenzied eating slowed as she grappled clumsily with a packaged granola bar.

"Better?" He asked gently, tilting his helm slightly.

She froze and looked up at him with wide eyes, before she nodded hesitantly and went back to the package in her hands.

After a minute she got it open and munched on it at a much slower pace, pausing half ways through and swallowing.

"M'name's Alexis." she stated quietly, startling Bumblebee.

He recovered quickly though, glad that he seemed to have earned her trust for the moment. "How long have you been here, Alexis?" He asked softly, trying to get a little bit more information out of her.

She shrugged noncommittally, her mouth full as she chewed. She honestly had no idea. Keeping track of the days was kinda hard when you spent most of it passed out.

Bumblebee paused, taking this in. "Are you injured or hurt?"

Alexis frowned and shrugged again, not wanting to try and show this stranger her back. She didn't like all these questions, especially not when she had so many of her own.

"Are you an alien too?" She asked sternly, wiping her hands of her jeans and stepping out of the rubble. Her stance was still wary, but she seemed more steady on her feet Bumblebee noted with some relief.

Her question surprised him, but he nodded anyways. "Yes, my kind come from a planet called Cybertron." He paused thoughtfully, "Where do you come from?"

The girl tilted her head, as if she had to think to answer the question, then shrugged yet again. "'Dunno. I only remember here."

Bumblebee frowned at this, not liking the implications of that statement. Without warning, the scout ran a scan over the girl and saved the results to send to Ratchet later.

Alexis shuddered, completely unaware of what the yellow mech was doing but still feeling the strange tingling sensation that came with the semi-invasive scans.

She paid it no mind though, as she was already preparing her next set of questions for the scout.

"Why are you here?" She asked suddenly, her face serious as she glanced up at him. "Did you do all this?"

At first Bumblebee didn't understand the question, it was so sudden. Then it dawned on him that she was alone in a destroyed city with possibly no memory of what exactly had happened.

"Uh, well, yes and no?" He said, the answer coming out more like a question as the scout suddenly felt extremely guilty. "We were trying to help. There are others like me who are very bad and we had to stop them from stealing something sacred to my kind." Bumblebee tried to explain the best he could.

Alexis's face crunched up as she processed this.

"Bad ones, like you?" she asked quietly.

Bumblebee nodded, "We're in a war against the bad ones. We call them Decepticons. My leader is called Optimus Prime and we're called Autobots."

"So Autobots are the good guys then?"

The mech nodded again, idly checking his chronometer. He was due to check in in a couple breems. "I can take you to meet them if you'd like?" Bumblebee offered, desperately hoping she'd trusted him enough by now to come with him.

Alexis went very still and dropped her gaze, her heart speeding up rapidly.

But what about Starscream? Was he one of the bad ones or a good guy, an Autobot? Did it really even matter?

Without realizing it, Alexis had started hyperventilating.

Could she just leave; would Bumblebee take her to Starscream? Somehow she didn't think it would be that easy. Starscream would be mad if she left, she was sure of it.

"Hey, hey! Don't panic, it's okay; they won't hurt you either!" Bumblebee said, trying to calm her down without really knowing what had set her off.

Alexis eyes flicked up wildly to Bumblebee and then around her surroundings. _Slag._ She was getting ready to run again.

She couldn't go with him, even if she might have wanted too. Starscream would come back for her and if she wasn't where he left her then he would be very upset. Very, _very_ upset.

Before she even realized that she was running again, Alexis had already grabbed the knapsack Bumblebee gave her and was darting down the streets. She ran as fast as she could and used the nooks and crannies in the rubble to her advantage, easily traveling in and around the ruins thanks to her small size.

When she finally stopped, there was no sign of the yellow mech following her. Swallowing the sour taste in her mouth, Alexis curled up in a ball exhausted.

* * *

It was dark when Bumblebee returned to the Autobot's makeshift base inside of Hoover Dam. He hadn't commed to report finding the human girl, and planned on telling Optimus about her in private. Something just hadn't seemed right about the whole situation and Bumblebee had a feeling that it would come back to bite him in the future.

The troubled young scout didn't stop once he entered the base until he reached the semi-private corner of operations where Optimus had made an office of sorts.

The Prime didn't even have to look twice at Bumblebee to know that there was something bothering the scout.

"Bumblebee, how was your mission? Ratchet hadn't mentioned your return." Optimus asked, his deep baritone emanating concern.

Bumblebee rubbed at the back of his helm, an annoying habit he had picked up from Sam. "That's because I didn't report to Ratchet yet Optimus. I felt I needed to speak with you directly about something that I found in Mission City."

The prime nodded slowly and gestured for Bumblebee to take a seat. "Please explain."

The yellow mech hesitated slightly, before deciding just to spit it out and get it over with. "I found a human child, a young girl, in the ruins." Optimus looked interested immediately, but remained silent so Bumblebee took that to mean he should continue. "I- I wasn't able to bring her back. She seemed easily frightened and distrusting. I was unable to relocate her after she ran."

"I see." Optimus leaned back and looked thoughtful, "This is indeed an intriguing situation. I appreciate your directness in this matter Bumblebee." The Prime paused, and glanced at the fidgety young mech in front of him.

"Was there something else?"

Bumblebee vented heavily, "Yeah. The girl, she wasn't scared of _me._ I think she was scared of something, someone, else. Not only that, she knew about us -about Cybertronians."

The Prime was definitely interested in this and leaned forward, "Explain." He asked, his voice taking on a much more serious tone.

"She asked if I was an alien, and wasn't at all frightened that I wasn't human." Bumblebee scrubbed his servo over his faceplates, "Optimus, I think she might have been in contact with a Decepticon." The scout admitted his suspicions, cautiously lowering his voice.

It didn't make any sense to him. Why would a 'Con make contact with a human in the first place, much less leave one alive? It was confusing and distressed him greatly.

Optimus, calm as ever, was quick to try and set his scout at ease. "You did your best Bumblebee and I could not ask anymore of you. If this young girl has indeed made contact with a Decepticon then we must be on constant alert for activity in the Mission City sector."

Bumblebee nodded, fully aware of the seriousness of what he had found. There was only one more question that he had.

"What about the humans? What do we tell them?"

This time the Prime was the one to vent heavily, suddenly looking very tired at the mention of the humans he had to deal with on an almost daily basis.

"I would suggest we keep this information to ourselves for the moment, at least until we know more or are able to safely retrieve the girl."

Bumblebee nodded, "Understood, Prime."

Optimus cracked a tiny smile at that, "You are dismissed Bumblebee. Don't forget to report to Ratchet on your way out." He ordered lightly just as the scout reached the door.

Bumblebee groaned.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN:**

 **Alrighty guys, this chapter was really fun to write. Sorry its late, but I've been going through some rough things with my family lately and wasn't as motivated to write. This chapter also has some extra warnings for death/gore and other dark stuff. Yay!**

 **To crazysteveo 162:** _Glad that you enjoyed getting to see Bumblebee show up! I hadn't thought I wrote Ratchet talking down to Bee at all… I intended it to be more like taking care of Bee by telling him to be cautious. *grins* I do have to agree with you though, Primeverse was pretty amazing! Anyways, I really humbled to have been able to motivate your own writing! I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much as the others!_

 **To Autobot AfterShock:** _Poor Alexis! She's absolutely terrified of being alone, but she's also too afraid to trust anyone because of her past and experiences with Starscream. And yes, Starscream is being a jerk. Even more so in this chapter I'm afraid._

 **To ShadowWolfDemon19:** _That would be pretty exciting, but nothing like that will be happening anytime soon. Pretty much the Autobot's won't be prominent in this story until much much later. Haha, well don't let me stop you! Starscream probably deserves it anyways! Enjoy this chapter!_

 **To lizy2000** _: Here is an update! It's a little late, but it's here! Don't worry, Alexis will learn how to survive without getting too malnourished._

 **To TatteredAngel42:** _Oh! Thank you, I'm glad that it turned out alright! I've never written Bumblebee or Optimus before so it was a fun challenge. And I can definitely relate to your frustrations! Without giving away too many spoilers, the Autobot's will be back to cause more trouble for our favorite human sparkling and her seeker. You are right though, most stories don't deal with the Decepticon's making human contact; it's almost always the Autobots, which is understandable, but I've never been one to go with the flow. Hence Starscream. Because Starscream is the least likely to have a human charge and actually care for her/him, yet here he is. I'm so honored that my story makes you smile! I hope you find this chapter just as enjoyable, despite the darker content._

 **To SunnySides:** _Oh yes… You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to posting the chapter when she gives him what for with all the wrath of a nine-year-old. Enjoy this chapter!_

 **To himelove22:** _Yeah, considering everything that's happened to our poor Alexis, I didn't figure that she would be very quick to trust people anymore. Don't worry though, she's got a lot more ahead of her in the future. Enjoy this chapter!_

 **To SashaPayne56:** _Ah, yes… Everyone seems rather ticked off at Starscream for leaving Alexis. Glad you liked last chapter though, I hope this one is just as good!_

 **Also, by way of explanation for somethings I forgot to mention that you may or may not have picked up on by now, Starscream doesn't actually know that Megatron is already dead. He got knocked out halfway into the battle, remember? So yeah, that's why he thinks Meg's is still alive.**

 **Anyways, e** **njoy!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

* * *

 **Always**

" _Only the mediocre are always at their best."_

 _~ Jean Giraudoux_

 **Chapter Twelve**

Stupid Earth gravity and its fragging gravitational pull and Primus forsaken asteroid fields.

Warnings flashed red and yellow across his HUD as Starscream's alt mode spun wildly out of control after clipping his starboard wing on a meteoroid. He didn't have enough energon to burn in order to pull free of the spinning motion.

All he could do was sort his internal systems and wait to straighten out while he drifted.

It was not a feeling the seeker particularly enjoyed.

Not being in control of his own frame was another type of claustrophobia all on its own. Space flight was disorientating enough for even the most experienced of flyers, but drifting freely with no control was something that even Starscream had to stop for a brief moment to keep from panicking.

To ground himself, so to speak.

The seeker snorted at the ironic turn of phrase as he ran through his systems diagnostics for the hundredth time that groon.

Luckily for him, he had been able to mostly avoid hitting the asteroid and had only sheared off a small portion of his wing. If you could count that as luck. As far as space flight was concerned, his wings were not the most vital aspect of control -that was where his thrusters came in. However, being that he was a seeker, he was in more pain then he thought even possible.

Seeker wings were the most sensitive appendages on a mech. Even other fliers wings, while still sensitive, were nowhere near as delicate as a seekers. The sheer number of sensors and relays located in a seekers wings were a testament to their elite design in comparison to ordinary flight capable mechs.

The cold vacuum of space helped to numb the pain somewhat, but in throbbed like nothing else.

Despite all that, his diagnostics told him that the damage was minimal.

Fragging asteroid belt.

Earth's space sector was actually one of the most convoluted and dangerous space sectors on this side of the galaxy. Many an alien species had marked off as a dead zone simply because they couldn't be bothered to navigate the tumultuous territory.

With all the asteroids, gravitational pulls, and the debris that humans had left floating everywhere, not to mention the multitude of comets, meteoroids, and other astral anomalies surrounding the sector, Starscream didn't blame them.

Of course, that would also make it the prime location for the Allspark to land.

Stupid, slagging Earth.

Starscream's spark pulsed with a painful surge tinged with longing. It wasn't bothering him as much as it had before, or he had simply been too preoccupied to notice it until now, but he had thought that leaving the planet would have made the foreign feelings dissipate.

For a while, he had thought they were gone.

It seemed that he was mistaken.

Starscream hadn't really noticed it.

Not at first anyways.

It started off small, barely noticeable between the constant aches and pains of his frame, but it was there. Slowly growing, a pulling sensation that felt like a rubber band being stretched. It wasn't painful per say, but the discomfort was not something that Starscream appreciated.

For the most part he was able to ignore it, being as focused as he was on directing his flight patterns to successfully navigate on the fumes left in his tanks with short, controlled burns to level out.

Most mechs dreaded space travel, especially when traveling alone -something not entirely recommended in most cases, because the passage of time seemed to stop in the icy vacuum.

Starscream was under no such disillusion.

Time passed at a continual, steady rate as he traversed the lightyears. It gave him time to think and strategize his next movements. He had many things to contend with once he returned to the Decepticon flagship, not the least of which was the fact that he had attacked Megatron directly and in plain sight of at least four other Decepticon warriors.

Starscream know for sure that two of them, Bonecrusher and Blackout, were offlined and thus no threat to him. The others though, he would have to confront directly and either bribe or terminate them for the sake of his reputation.

Barricade he could probably bribe easily enough, the others... Well, they were too brutish to understand the concept and would likely find themselves disposed of.

As for Megatron himself, Starscream had yet to determine how he was to deal with.

There was no mistaking that the gladiator turned warlord had seen him make his attack. There would be no way to say anything otherwise; no excuses, no alibies, no way of spinning the truth to fit his own purpose. Megatron wouldn't be fooled for a klick.

In other words, Starscream was screwed.

The seeker promptly decided that he didn't want to contemplate that right now and focused on how he planned to even get on the Nemesis in the first place.

It was highly likely that they might try to shoot him out of the sky then and there.

Not that they would be very successful, Starscream though. He was by far better at evasive maneuvers then they would be at aiming.

The trick would be getting through the Nemesis without being mobbed. He was too badly injured to deal with all the brutes who thought they could take him on. The seeker would have to find a safe haven, and quickly once on board.

Starscream hemmed softly as he flew through the dark silence of space.

His best bet would probably be Hook's medbay. The Constructicon medic was the only mech he considered even slightly trustworthy, and even then he wasn't entirely sure the medic would risk defying Megatron to shelter and repair him.

But as far a betting went, Hook was still the best option.

He also still had the unsourced energon containers in his subspace. If it came down to it he could easily use it as bribing material or as a peace offering. A token of goodwill.

The very thought of groveling at Megatron's feet yet again made Starscream want to purge.

It would only be temporary, the seeker reminded himself.

Megatron would be offlined by his servo, and he would not fail again.

It was only a matter of time.

 _/Unidentified vessel, identify yourself or prepare to be shot down./_

Starscream stiffened at the sudden wideband commline invading his processors before allowing himself a sly grin. Or he would have, had he not been in his alt mode.

This was it.

 _/Decepticon flagship Nemesis, this is Commander Starscream requesting permission to board./_ Starscream stated with the utmost confidence, knowing that it would most than likely throw off whoever was on the other end of the commline.

There was a short moment of silence, interrupted by what sounded like muffled speaking and then a loud clang of what only could be something colliding with somemech's helm.

 _/This is Lieutenant Wreckage speaking. Why don't you tell me why I should let you onboard Commander. Word has it that you committed treason of the highest accord in attacking our Lord Megatron./_

Well then.

Starscream cursed shortly under his breath, the words lost in the noiseless vacuum of space. There wasn't much he could do if they already knew that he had made a move against Megatron. There was something else though, something odd about the whole situation.

He had expected Megatron himself to be the first one he spoke too, not some random underling.

The seeker pondered this carefully as he planned out his next words.

 _/How about I ask you a few questions of my own? Hmm? My scanners tell me that there are... say a dozen mechs onboard. Yes, that sounds about right. How are your energon ration's holding up Lieutenant?/_ Starscream drawled darkly, his voice smooth and entirely poisonous.

There was another muffled silence that told Starscream he had been right in guessing that rations were running low.

 _/Let me ask you this then, Lieutenant Wreckage, if I were to tell you that I was carrying enough energon for your tanks to be comfortably full for the next several orns, what would you do?/_

Starscream allowed himself an internal smirk. If he played his chips right, he would have this Wreckage mech eating right out of his servo.

There was a low hum front the other end of the line. _/Alright Commander, docking bay 3 is cleared and ready for you to enter./_

 _/Much appreciated Lieutenant. It was a pleasure doing business with you./_ Starscream stated cordially, _/Also, if it wouldn't be too much trouble, I will need to see a medic before I am able to access my subspace./_

He cut the link before the Lieutenant could protest and began making his way around to the docking bay with pleased smirk.

 _Fool_.

* * *

Four joors later had Starscream fully repaired by ever meticulous Hook, who never ceased to complain about how Starscream managed to slag up his frame so badly. However, aside from the complaining, the seeker was grateful to be back up to standard. It would still be awhile before some of the more serious repairs so settle in, such as his arm, but otherwise Starscream was relatively pain free.

"Well that's about all I can do for now. I won't be able to replace your missle launcher until the protoform in your arm heals, so you will have to come back in about an orn." Hook explained as he wiped his servos down on a worn polishing cloth.

Starscream frowned. That was a bit longer of a timeframe then he had originally hoped for.

"Do not give me that look! I may be a medic but I'm just as much of a Con as you are and I am not afraid to strap you down in solitary so that you heal properly." Hook barked, the green and purple Constructicon giving Starscream a pointed look.

This made Starscream chuckle and raise his hands as he backed towards the door, "Alright. Alright. Don't strain yourself and all that slag. Medics orders."

Hook narrowed his gaze at the seeker, "You got that right. Now get your ugly faceplates outta my medbay."

Starscream smirked as the door slid shut behind him, crimson optics glinting when he heard the muffled swearing something along the lines of "Fragging seekers are all the same."

Ah, it was good to know that some mechs never changed.

Now that he was repaired, he needed to figure out what he was going to do next. So far he'd been rather lucky -at most only three mechs knew of his presence on the ship. For now, he'd like to keep it that way. At least until he knew what he was going to do about Megatron.

The warlord was formidable, and Starscream supposed that he should have had some respect for him. Perhaps he did, a long, long time ago. However, the former gladiator's time was up; he had ruled too long, grown complacent with the pace of the war.

He was surprised that he hadn't been summoned yet.

If Megatron was indeed on the Nemesis, Starscream would have expected to have known it by now. He still had that odd feeling about how easy it was to get on the ship. Surely if Megatron had been on board he would have been shot at least once.

It made the seeker extremely suspicious.

The seekers relatively good mood was quickly squashed when he heard his name on the ship's intercom.

 _ **/Commander Starscream, report to the command center. Repeat, Commander Starscream, report to the command center immediately./**_

Starscream jaw clenched, and he stalked towards the command center. Slaggin' fools! Now the whole ship knew that he was onboard his life just got ten times harder. If Megatron hadn't known he was onboard, he certainly knew now!

The command center went dead silent when the furious seeker stepped onto the deck and the doors whooshed silently behind him.

Starscream didn't say a single word, simply gliding down the deck with a grace foreign to anyone that wasn't a seeker, his optics purposefully lingering on every mech as he made his way towards the central command desk where he guessed the Lieutenant was.

Then he stopped and looked around, his face morphing into cordial curiosity. "Would anyone mind telling me who's bright idea it was to use the ships intercoms to contact me rather than using my personal frequency?"

The command center was dead silent.

Starscream sighed and shook his helm, "How unfortunate. Luckily, I happened to recognize the vocals." He turned to the shortish, but well-built mech beside him, "You wouldn't happen to be Lieutenant Wreckage would you?"

The yellow opticed mech glanced over to the mech beside him before nodding hesitantly.

Starscream smiled, a deceptively reassuring grin, before reaching out and plunging his claws directly into the red opticed mech beside him, a tank of some sort, and sinking his talons into his spark casing.

"Thank you," Starscream grunted as the mechs weight sagged, "For your honesty."

The mech's optics flickered dimly, "Please... I-"

"Sorry? I didn't hear you, perhaps you should use the intercom _Lieutenant._ " Starscream hissed sweetly into Wreckage's audio.

The yellow opticed mech sucked in a sharp intake when mech limply slid off Starscream's servo and onto the floor with dark optics.

Starscream frowned and flicked his claws nonchalantly, sending droplets of energon flying onto the offlined lieutenants frame. He turned to the yellow opticed mech trying to blend into the console behind him.

"What is your designation?" He demanded, his tone strictly business now.

"Spec-Ops Officer H-Hardtop, Commander Sir." The mech stuttered nervously.

Starscream grinned darkly, clasping Hardtop around the shoulders and ignoring the way that the mech cringed at the life-en now dripping down his plating. "Congratulations Hardtop, you've been promoted!"

Starscream let the poor mech go and pointed to two other mechs nearby, "You two! Take care of this mess!"

The mech's nodded and scrambled to drag the former Lieutenant out of the command center.

"Now then, to business." Starscream stated calmly, folding his digits into a pyramid under his chin as he leaned casually against the console. "I've recently come to discover that our Lord and Master is not located on this ship." The seeker paused, his crimson optics glinted sharply. "Would anyone care to tell me where Megatron is? There is a somewhat pressing matter that I need to take care of."

The command deck went eerily silent and Starscream frowned, his optics narrowing. "Well?"

It was then that Hardtop approached, trying to avoid optic contact at all costs. "Commander Starscream, Sir... Uh," The mech fiddled with his digits for a moment before continuing, "Lord Megatron is offline."

Starscream stared at the mech incredulously, rebooting his optics in disbelief. "Say again?"

Truly confused now, Hardtop repeated himself. "Lord Megatron was reported offline half an orn ago. We have the long range transmission from the Prime himself confirming it."

"Play it now!" Starscream snapped, his wings flicking with unexpressed emotion. Had he actually succeeded in terminating Megatron? It couldn't have been that easy.

Starscream listened intently to the static filled recording, his disbelief slowly fading into something far more sinister. _Opportunity._

 _/With the *shhhsssk* AllSpark gone, we cannot return life to our planet. Fate has yielded its reward: a new world to call... home. We live among its people now, hiding in plain sight... but watching over them in secret... waiting...*shhhssh* protecting. I have witnessed their capacity for courage in their assistance freeing this world of Megatron's menace*shhhhskksh* and though we are worlds apart, like us, there's more to them than meets the eye. I am Optimus Prime, and I send this message to any surviving Autobots taking refuge among the stars: We are here...*shsssk* we are waiting./_

Starscream leaned back, returning to his former position at the console.

This was... unexpected.

But Starscream could not deny the truth, and had no real desire too. Even if Megatron wasn't offlined, all the Decepticon's thought he was. Because even Prime's enemies recognized that the mech was not one to tell lies. Who was Starscream to tell them otherwise?

It was then that the seeker realized that all the mechs in the command room were looking at him expectantly.

Starscream instantly schooled his expression into something far more somber.

"This is indeed saddening news to hear." Starscream started solemnly, "The Decepticon cause owes much to our former leader and will mourn him as such. As Megatron's second in command and most trusted advisor, it now falls to me to carry his burden of leadership. I, Starscream, will now lead the Decepticons."

* * *

Finally, alone in his new quarters, Starscream lounged in the large mesh chair at his personal console.

Today had been a very successful day for the seeker.

There had only been a few hiccups in asserting his control over the pitiful mechs he now called his crew, but those had been quickly taken care of. After all, accidently happened all the time on a big warship like the Nemesis.

Starscream smirked darkly as he sipped on his energon cube.

Lord Starscream had a very nice ring to it.

After he had asserted himself as the new leader of the Decepticons, the first thing Starscream had done was a roster check and a stock take.

He hadn't been wrong when he had guessed that the ships energon rations were running low. According to the datapad Hardtop had given him, they only had enough energon for two orns, maybe three with what he had brought with him.

Of course, Starscream didn't have to worry about rations for himself.

As it turned out, Megatron had kept nearly a quartex worth of energon and a sizable stash of high-grade tucked away in his quarters. Which also meant that Starscream had a quartex worth of energon and a sizable stash of high-grade as well.

Hence why the seeker had decided to indulge himself with a bit of high-grade to celebrate his new title.

Starscream idly picked up the second datapad Hardtop had given him and glanced at the list of names. Not exactly his idea of a fine crew, but he would take whatever he got. There were still a few names, Hardtop included, that stood out for being generally efficient mechs and being good at what they specialized in.

Basically all that left him with a Lieutenant, a Weapons Dealer, a shuttle pilot, and Hook as a medic. Everyone else was only good for cannon fodder.

As it turned out, the Lieutenant he had killed, Wreckage, was actually quite a reliable mech with a good track record both on and off the front lines. It was a shame really, that he had to offline. However, Starscream probably would have had to kill him eventually anyways. He didn't like dealing with mechs he owed.

There was one name though that stood out like a beacon to Starscream.

 _Thundercracker._

His energon quickly forgotten, Starscream sat up straight in his chair and reread the datapad. Thundercracker had been on this ship. The seeker felt his spark twist at the thought of his trine mate and winced at the additional strain on his spark. The constant tugging sensation had developed into a persistent ache that he could only try to ignore.

Now though, now it was different. Now his spark was focused on something far stronger than the alien pull he'd felt since leaving earth. His trine mate, his brother, was nearby.

According to the datapad, Thundercracker, while technically part of the crew, was rarely onboard the Nemesis. Instead, he was almost always out scouting or on some other mission under some basis of energon scouting and locating potential locations for a base this side of the galaxy.

Starscream knew without even seeing his brother that it was a poor excuse to isolate himself.

The seeker set the datapad down and slumped back into his chair with the high-grade cradled in his servos. It had been, nearly three vorns since he'd last seen all his trine mates together on good terms. Starscream couldn't be bothered to remember what it was that had separated them at this point. It had been too long ago to matter anymore.

Or maybe it was that Starscream simply didn't want it to matter anymore.

Either way, it would be yet another thing for him to deal with later on.

Starscream supposed that he could be thankful that Thundercracker wasn't due to return for at least another half an orn. That would be more than enough time for him to settle into his new found leadership and get the Nemesis back into optimal condition.

The seekers spark pulsed unhappily at the thought of being away from its brother any longer, especially now that he knew how close his trine mate was.

Starscream's jaw tightened before he downed the remainder of his cube and tossed it aside. He winced at the burning sensation, but was grateful for the marginal dulling of his senses that the high grade provided. It made it easier to ignore his spark's aches.

 _/Starscream to Lieutenant Hardtop./_ Starscream commed curtly as he exited his quarters.

 _/Of-Lieutenant Hardtop here. Is there a problem Commander?/_ The poor Lieutenant covered his slip easily enough, but still sounded uneasy.

 _/Not at all Lieutenant. I need you to prepare the Nemesis to land on the Red Planet. I will be there momentarily to oversee the process. Understand?/_ The seekers tone was clipped, as if speaking to a sparkling. He didn't necessarily want to lead the Decepticons through fear, as Megatron had. He wanted be followed because he was the only person that could lead them to a peaceful Cybertron. Still, he wouldn't complain as long as his orders were carried out one way or the other.

 _/Understood Command, I'll get on that right away!/_ Hardtop assured him readily.

 _/Excellent!/_ Starscream paused for a moment, as if to cut the comm link, before adding darkly, _/Oh, and Lieutenant? You will refer to me as Lord Starscream from here on out./_

Starscream smirked and cut the line.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN:**

 **Christmas update! Hooray!**

 **Sorry for the late update, but I wanted to at least get this posted before the Holidays because it's not likely I will be updating for a few weeks. I will try to get another chapter out before New Year's, but seriously, no promises.**

 **To TatteredAngel42:** _*grins* You have no idea how excited I am when I get such static reviews from you and everyone else. I wrote the story because I wanted too, but seeing everyone enjoy it so much it one of the coolest feelings ever! If you wanted to share some of the song you think relate to the story, I would be absolutely thrilled! I know I have a few that really get me thinking about our favorite human and seeker, so please do share!_

 **To himelove22:** _It would certainly seem like that wouldn't it? Poor Starscream._ _Glad you liked the chapter!_

 **To SunnySides:** _Hmmm, that's a very interesting point you make… *heavy breathing* Alexis, I am your father…*end heavy breathing* Bahaha! Hope you enjoy this chapter!_

 **To lizy2000:** _Yay! Being repaired is a very good thing! Sorry that last chapter didn't have and Alexis in it, but when they are separated it is important to have focus on both her and Starscream. Not to worry though, this chapter is all Alexis!_

 **This chapter was kinda fun to write, even if it is a little slower paced than some. I like this chapter because we really get to see more of who Alexis is. That she's just a little girl who's been through too much. I don't ever want to write Alexis as a Mary Sue, where she always knows what to do and has inexplicable experience and survival skills. The point is that she's learning as she goes -that its not going to be easy.**

 **Thanks so much for the feedback! You guys are far kinder then deserve! Keep reviewing and enjoy!**

* * *

 ** _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._**

 ** _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_**

* * *

 **Always**

" _Always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don't, then who will, sweetie?"_

 _-Marilyn Monroe_

 **Chapter Thirteen**

Alexis didn't know how, or even why exactly, but somehow she had ended up in the same ruined building that Starscream had hidden in. Maybe it was because it was the most familiar place to her, or maybe it was because she hoped that if Starscream returned, that this would be the best place for him to find her.

The girl sniffed miserably and shifted the knapsack on her shoulder.

Last night had been miserable.

Without Starscream nearby, the cement seeped all the warmth out of her body, leaving her to sleep cold and alone in the ruins. She didn't sleep much in-between the nightmares and windy chill of the night.

When morning had come, Alexis has crept out into the sun to nibble on the last granola bar left in the knapsack she had taken from Bumblebee. The sun helped to warm her cold body just a little. When she was finished she was still hungry, but it had at least been enough to take the edge off.

She still felt guilty for stealing the bag from the yellow mech the day before. Even if she couldn't really remember, she didn't think she had ever stolen before and it left a bad taste in her mouth. She had kinda liked the strange mech with his funny accent and fluttery wings.

Alexis chewed on her lip indecisively before ducking into the alcove and walking over to set the knapsack on the pile of blue tarp that made her bed of sorts.

This was all she had now.

Alexis sat down with a slight wobble and wrapped her arms around her knees.

She didn't know what she was supposed to do now.

She didn't know why she thought Starscream would come back, much less for her. Maybe she thought that since he had claimed her as his he would come back. After all, she always came back for the things that were hers, so it would make sense for Starscream to do the same.

Alexis wiped her nose and reminded herself sternly that she wasn't supposed to think about the seeker anymore.

Instead she focused on the roughly drawn map carved into the wall, the only real evidence that something not human had been in the ruins. Alexis easily recognized the block where her apartment used to be and from there she found the open area where Starscream had left.

The girl stood up shakily and traced her small hand over the grooved lines.

Her mind spin quickly as she tried to interpret the birds eye view of the map in her head. Her fingers landed on a block slightly south east of the city center. This was where she was now. At least that's the best she could guess.

Alexis pressed her lips together, her face contorting in thought.

If she was here... Then that meant that there was a convenience store just down the road!

As if knowing the cause of her excitement, her stomach rumbled hollowly to remind her that finding a source of food was a very good idea right about now.

Alexis stared long and hard at the map on the wall, running over the lines repeatedly to commit them to memory. Then she walked over to where she had placed the empty knapsack and shouldered it resolutely before climbing out the side of the building.

It didn't matter if Starscream was ever coming back or not. It didn't matter that she had probably run away from her only chance of leaving the city.

It didn't matter because she was going to survive. She was going to survive all on her own and she would be perfectly happy by herself.

What might have started out as resolute determination for the girl was quickly leeched away at the sight of what only could have been the store she was looking for. Or at least what passed for it now.

There was little left to even recognize as a store, much less a building.

This seemed to been where the worst of the battle had been, if what Bumblebee had told her was true. He didn't seem like the type to lie though. Pretty much every building on the block and the blocks around her were completely leveled.

She could hardly even tell where the roads used to be through all the rubble.

Trying hard not to let the disappointment get to her, Alexis straightened her shoulders and trudged forward. It wasn't that hard for her to scramble over and around the chunks of building because of her small size, however, it might also make it harder for her to find anything that wasn't already exposed.

It wasn't like she had the strength to unbury anything that wasn't near the surface.

Alexis frowned as she clambered over a particularly big chunk of cement and steel.

So far she hadn't seen or found anything.

Somehow, the young girl hadn't expected it to be this hard.

Everything was covered in a thick layer of dust, making everything look bleak and grey and not easy to recognize even if it was food or anything else that might be useful. Alexis brushed her hands off on her stained and tattered skirt and grimaced at how dirty and dusty she was as well.

She probably blended into the rubble just as much as everything else.

The thought didn't comfort her very much.

Alexis shuffled lightly around a crater that seemed too foot shaped to be a coincidence and winced when she tripped over a thin sheet of metal.

It suddenly seemed just then that everything was hopeless.

Alexis pushed herself back up and brushed away the few tears that were starting to fall as she cradled the new cut on her knee. It wasn't half as bad as any of her other cuts -it was hardly deep enough to bleed- but it was enough to trigger another bout of tears.

The girl hiccoughed quietly and tried to stop, but she couldn't seem to control it and that was more terrifying than anything else.

It took more than a few minutes for her to calm down again and by then she felt utterly exhausted.

Alexis knew she still had to find some food first though, or at least some water. If she was really lucky she could find a new shirt that didn't smell so bad.

Even though her face was still wet from her most recent crying, the girl got back up and kept picking through the rubble.

She kept looking for what felt like hours, even though it wasn't probably half that long, but she kept looking. The sun had hit its peak some time ago, and was on its way into the afternoon before Alexis finally found something.

It was hidden underneath a thick piece of sheet metal and she probably would have missed it if it weren't for the quiet crunching sound that could only be something packaged.

With desperate, frantic motions, Alexis scrambled to pry the sheet of metal to the side -grunting from the effort. The sheet didn't budge.

Alexis groaned.

Stupid heavy things made everything difficult.

The girl's eyes narrowed and she made a face. She knew that there was something underneath the metal sheet and she was not going to leave until she found it.

Falling to her knees, Alexis crawled to the edge of the sheet and began scrapping out all the debris to make a small hollow. She kept digging and scratching until she had a decent sized pocket as she crawled under the metal sheet.

It was no wonder she couldn't move it. The metal seemed to go on underground forever!

And then, just when she was almost sure she wasn't going to find anything, Alexis's hand brushed something.

Her scrambling and scrapping increased frantically and she paid no mind to the rocks and dirt cutting into her fingernails as she pushed further into the hollow. She was so close!

The debris under her hands suddenly gave out into a much larger pocket. She couldn't hardly see anything, but she could feel what seemed to be a collapsed shelf. Alexis grinned widely when her fingers touched a bag of...

Doritos?

Alexis shrugged and reached back in, making several attempts. She was able to pull out several more bags of chips, a box of cereal, and a bag of trail mix. The best part of her find was definitely the cereal in Alexis's opinion, especially since it just happened to be one of her favorites; fruit loops.

It had always been her favorite since... well she couldn't remember. But it was even better because you didn't have to have milk, which Alexis obviously didn't have, to eat it.

Much more excited than she was before, the girl quickly stashed the goods into the knapsack and flung it back over her shoulder. Only after she had stopped for a minute to eat some of her fruit loops first, of course.

Now she just needed to find some water.

This time it wasn't as hard as it was before. She had a better idea of how to look for things now, and found several cases of water bottles within a few minutes. Some of the bottles had been crushed, but she was able to grab three or four bottles to stick in her pack.

She couldn't carry much more than that.

Alexis then determined that she would have to make several trips so that she would have a stash nearby.

Alexis grinned at her accomplishment, hefting the now much heavier knapsack over her shoulder with a wobble as she started back towards her alcove.

Hope was an emotion she still wasn't sure she could rely on, but she felt it despite her doubts and insecurities. It was the only thing that kept her going. Alexis never thought of herself as a strong person, but maybe, just maybe she could be strong enough to survive this.

* * *

 _ **Two Months Later...**_

* * *

Alexis stared for a long moment at the single short line scratched into the wall before glancing up at the rest of the steadily growing collection of marks. Her expression was far too serious for a child of her age. One for everyday it had been since Starscream left. One for every day that she remembered being in the ruins of this city.

The girl sighed and sat down on her folded tarp and curled up in the large blanket she had found in the ruins of another apartment building. It had started getting colder at night in the last couple weeks and she had been very excited to find a blanket to keep warm.

It wasn't so cold right now, but the blanket helped her to feel less cold on the inside.

It was terribly lonely for a nine-year-old to live alone.

She made do most days.

It was easy to get distracted wandering the ruins as she constantly kept searching for supplies. She still found all sorts of things in the remains of the convenience store and made a trip there at least once or twice a day to bring stuff back to her alcove.

The place didn't feel much like a home, but it was familiar to her and she did her best to make it more comfortable. She had found a broken off broom head and managed to sweep out the area around her bed and where she kept her things. That had made a huge difference in Alexis's opinion.

Still it got boring, carting things back and forth all day, so Alexis often would go exploring and find new places. The map that Starscream had left was helpful, but she still got lost quite often -sometimes for days before she would find her way back to the alcove.

She had thought for sure that she was going to die. She had intended to just go down the street and look around, so she hadn't bothered to take her knapsack with her. She was glad then that she had kept a stash of water bottles and food in the alcove.

There was only one time that that happened though.

After that she made sure to always bring her bag with her no matter what. That way if she had to hole up somewhere for the night she wouldn't go hungry.

Well, she wouldn't starve at least.

Alexis was always hungry. It didn't seem to matter how much food she found and saved or how much she actually ate. Hunger was a familiar feeling to her by now.

The girl jumped at the sudden clap of thunder overhead and ducked under her blanket. The thrumming downpour of rain followed shortly after and Alexis curled her arms tighter around herself at the sound.

It was going to be another long day.

The thunderstorms had been coming frequently, at least once a week lately.

Alexis hated them.

The rain always meant that she would be stuck hiding until it was over. She had tried going out in the rain one of the first times and it had been great for the moment. It had given her the chance to clean some of the grime off her skin and feel a little bit cleaner even if it was cold. Except that she had been very sick for a long time after that because she couldn't get her clothes dry.

It hadn't been a very pleasant experience.

Since then she had taken to simply staying undercover to wait out the storms.

It wasn't so bad she supposed. She was able to stay dry at least, she had a blanket to stay warm, and the thundering rain above her was actually a nice change from the stark silence the ruins usually held.

A small smile crept up onto Alexis's lips as she considered this.

The constant pitter patter of rain drops followed by the quieter dripping of water pooling into any crevice it could reach, then drowned out by a renewed torrent of rain leaden wind. Then the loud echoing crash of thunder that sounded like it was right above her.

Maybe the storms weren't so bad after all.

Alexis hummed softly to herself for the next while, swaying gently to the sound of the howling wind outside.

She stayed like that for most of the day, eventually falling asleep towards the afternoon. The thunder was almost enough to drown out her nightmares.

* * *

When Alexis woke up the sun was shining brightly through the entrance to the alcove. She groaned lowly and stretched, wincing when the still healing scars on her back strained the wrong way.

The storm seemed to have passed through the night and Alexis smiled.

That meant she could go exploring today.

She rather enjoyed exploring the ruins. The things she found were sometimes strange and curious to the nine-year-old, but sometimes she found things she liked to call her treasure. These things she kept tucked beside her tarp-bed for safe keeping.

She didn't really think that she needed to worry about anyone stealing her things, but hiding them away made her feel better, so she did anyways.

So far she had found three things that she had claimed as treasure; a flashlight, a long golden chain necklace, and a torn up teddy bear.

Alexis didn't know for sure why she had brought the teddy bear back with her. It was a dirty patchwork thing, even more so after she unburied it, but she couldn't help but feel a sort of familiarity with it. It was strange, but Alexis wasn't going to question the comfort it gave her on the nights that felt lonelier then the others.

The flashlight was her most precious item though.

She didn't use it very often because she didn't want the batteries to run out, but it was sometimes nice to have a source of light when she woke up from nightmares. It helped to keep her calm, being able to sit in the pale yellow glow from the small flashlight.

Alexis shifted and stretched again from where she had gotten distracted looking at her things.

The girl stood up and threw her blanket aside in a pile before digging through the knapsack for the small pocket knife she had found in one of the inside pouches. She had found to tool very useful once she had figured out how to open and close it without cutting herself.

Alexis scrambled over to the wall where the rest of her marks where and pressed the blade into the surface, slowly, but precisely carving a thin line next to the others.

When she was done she stepped back to look at Starscream's map on the opposite wall.

She was trying hard to memorize it so that she wouldn't get lost so often. On the places where she could reach she would try and fill out the map with more details from what she had explored, but it was hard because most of it she couldn't reach due to her small stature.

As it was she had to stand a good distance and crane her neck just to get a good view of the map as a whole.

Throughout all of her explorations she had avoided the place marked with a large 'X'.

For some reason it had always seemed like a bad idea and it made her sad for reasons she couldn't explain. Whenever she felt that kind of sad she would always pull out her teddy bear and sit with it until the feeling went away.

It never really did though.

She missed Starscream.

Alexis tried to tell herself that she shouldn't care anymore, that he wasn't coming back, but it never worked. She could tell herself that all she wanted, but at the end of the day she would still be waiting for him to show up.

It was frustrating. She tried to keep pretending that she didn't care, because if she didn't care it wouldn't hurt so much. Right?

Alexis closed her eyes and clenched her fists. She didn't want to cry anymore.

Her stomach rumbling was enough to distract her for the moment and Alexis walked over to where her stack of food goods was to pick out a granola bar to nibble on.

While she ate, she grabbed the knapsack that went with her everywhere to restock it with a fresh water bottle and a couple food things. After a long moment of deliberation, she left the teddy bear on her bed instead of putting it in the bag.

It took up too much space.

When she was done she shouldered the pack and with one last glance at the map on the wall, Alexis set off in the direction she wanted to explore today.

As long as she kept herself busy, kept herself distracted, she wouldn't have to think about how lonely she was. She wouldn't have to think about Starscream and wonder why he left the way he did and if he would ever come back.

As long as she kept busy, she wouldn't have to think much at all.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN:**

 **Hey everyone, I'm back with the first update of the year! I hope you all had a wonderful and safe new years!**

 **To lizy2000:** _You'd be surprised just how resilient youngsters can be! Alexis is made of stronger stuff then she even knows, but she's still learning. Hope you like this next chapter!_

 **To SunnySides : **_I actually have had experience living in a less than third world country. I was well provided for, but I knew a lot of kids my age who weren't. They were always very small and quiet, but they could easily catch you off guard with how smart and resilient they were. So that's kinda what I am basing some of Alexis's actions off of to keep it real while still keeping her alive. Haha, don't worry though, Starscream will be coming back soon enough. This chapter actually!_

 **To TatteredAngel42:** _Thanks so much for sharing songs with me! And that was the main point of last chapter. I really wanted to show what Alexis was thinking and feeling while she was alone for so long. Heh, Starscream had better watch out and get back to Alexis! I don't think he'd stand a chance against all my fans!_

 **This chapter I come bringing you your weekly dose of Starscream angst and a healthy heaping of plotting, scheming, and seeker feels. *cackles evilly***

 **Not as many reviews lately, but I still want to thank those who did leave a review. You guys are awesome! I hope you enjoy this chapter!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _And as always, faithfully beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

* * *

 **Always**

" _It's always the same_

 _You're always to blame_

 _Is there any way around this?_

 _I can't see"_

 _\- Newsboys, Always_

 **Chapter Fourteen**

Starscream hissed sharply at the none-too-gentle prodding near his wings.

There was a low hum from behind him and the seeker resisted the urge to flick his wings lest he provoke the medic currently examining him.

"And the verdict is?" Starscream prompted, his patience wearing thin.

"That you are officially still a pain in my aft." Hook stated dryly as he came around from behind the seeker.

Starscream rolled his optics and stretched his back and shoulders gratefully, "I could say the same of you Hook." he responded in the same tone.

The constructicon medic let out a short chuckle at that, "Touché."

Hook paused in his movements, "Your thrusters are fully functional, as is the rest of you. However, I would recommend that you still take it slow for the first few flights for your thrusters to fully integrate."

Starscream pursed his lips but said nothing.

Inwardly though, he wasn't really paying attention to Hook's rambling. He'd been through the smelter and back enough times to know his limits. He didn't need to be told what he could and could not do.

Starscream slid off the berth and stood to his full height, stretching his wings in the process. They were still tender, especially after Hook's incessant prodding, but they felt much better than they had in past orn now that the temp plating had been removed.

Slagging stuff itched like nothing else.

"And where do you think you're going?" Hook barked loudly at the seeker trying to exit the medbay.

Starscream gritted his denta, replying smoothly, "I had assumed that since you had finished I would be free to go about my duties."

The green mech's optics narrowed before he turned away, as if suddenly remembering that the seeker in front of him led the Decepticons now. "Ah, yes of course. You may leave."

Starscream smirked, getting in one last word before the doors slid shut behind him, "I never needed your permission."

The seeker's smirk left him quickly though as he strolled through the dim corridors of the Nemesis.

The past orn had consisted entirely of him attempting to assert himself over the rest of the Decepticon forces, with little to no success. The small crew of the Nemesis was hardly enough to call an army and he had yet to locate any other ships nearby.

It seemed that word of Megatron's death had gotten around quickly.

Most of the ships that Starscream knew of had all returned to Cybertron, apparently under the leadership of a mech named Dreadwing. The name was familiar to him, but he had no real interest in who the mech was other than the fact that he seemed to have already gathered a sizable following.

After landing on the red planet, Starscream had set a small team to scout and start building a signal tower that would allow him to contact ships as far as Cybertron.

It was an unbearably slow process with the small number of mechs he had to work with.

Starscream vented and absently rubbed a servo over his spark, not even realizing what he was doing.

His spark bothered him constantly, a pinching, tugging sensation just bordering on painful. Nothing he did could alleviate it and the longer he ignored it the worse it seemed to get.

A ping on his HUD alerted him to an incoming call and Starscream answered it immediately, changing his pace to a brisk walk towards the command center.

/ _What is it!?/_ He snapped across the line.

/ _Lord Starscream, you requested to be informed when Thundercracker returned from his scouting mission. I wanted to inform you that he has just entered the planet's orbit._ /

Starscream's previously steady gait faltered slightly at the Lieutenant's words, before the seeker picked up his pace.

He only remembered that Hardtop was still on the line when the Lieutenant queried nervously, / _L-Lord Starscream, sir?_ /

The seeker cut the commline with no response, his processors whirring as fast as his spark.

Thundercracker was back.

What was he going to say to him? What would Thundercracker say to him?

Frag this. Starscream turned abruptly on his pede and began heading towards the deck of the Nemesis, foregoing the command center in favor of greeting his long lost brother in person. After all it wouldn't do for him to find out about his presence on the ship from any other source.

Starscream's spark pulsed urgently, already reaching for its brother as he got nearer.

It didn't seem to matter to the spinning ball of energy that it had been vorns since he had last seen his brother. All that mattered was seeing him _now_.

The seeker was avoided by all parties he encountered along the halls, anyone with half a processor steering clear of the mech as he nearly raced down the halls of the Nemesis. No one wanted to get in the way a trine member looking for his other part.

Starscream was too busy trying to wrest his spark back under control before he reached the deck to notice.

He had to stay in control.

When the doors to the Nemesis's deck slid open, Starscream strode in regally with his wings held high and the familiar air of arrogance, his faceplates unreadable. He had arrived just in time to watch as Thundercracker finished transforming and set down lightly on his thruster pedes.

The two seekers stood for a long moment, just watching to see what the other would do first. Starscream noticed immediately that, while undamaged, his brother seemed to be in less that optimal condition.

Then the blue seeker's faceplates contained a myriad of emotions, namely shock, which then quickly morphed into anger.

" _YOU!"_ He half snarled, half choked out.

Starscream smirked calmly and then Thundercracker charged.

The two seekers fell to the floor with a resounding crash of metal and snarling roars as the they fought brutally, leaving the Lieutenant and his second two watch in confusion from the side.

"You fragger, get off of me!" Starscream shrieked, only to receive a fisted servo to his faceplates.

 _"You abandoned us!"_ The blue seeker roared, his red optics bleeding anger and something else Starscream couldn't really recognize while being throttled.

Starscream hissed and flipped himself over so that he could pin his brother to the floor. "I abandoned you?! I distinctly remember that you forced me to leave." Starscream yelled back, even as his spark fought to reopen the bond between the two brothers. "I had nowhere else to go!"

Thundercracker snarled and slammed his helm into his brother's and kicked the dazed seeker off of him.

They had both drawn energon and were covered in dents and bruises, Starscream more so than him.

"You wanted to separate us!" Thundercracker argued, the hurt showing clearly in his optics.

Starscream scoffed painfully and wiped at the energon leaking from his mouth, "And what you did was any better?"

Thundercracker looked away, his faceplates stony and there was a heavy silence between the two beaten seekers standing across from each other.

Starscream's optics burned brightly, boring into Thundercracker's and seemed to pierce right through him, just like they always had.

The red and grey seeker turned abruptly towards the Lieutenant and his lackey, "Leave us." He ordered bitingly, watching the two mechs scramble nervously back into safety of the ship.

"I was trying to protect you! I had no choice, Megatron," Starscream spat his former leaders' name like it was poisonous and it a way it was, "Megatron forced my servo. He was going to send you on a suicide mission and I -I had to do something! So yes I was going to split the trine, but at least it would have been on my terms, in a way that I could control!"

Starscream didn't let it show on his faceplates, but his injuries were painful and he was positive that he had probably torn several of the fresh welds on his back and wings when Thundercracker knocked him over. This certainly wasn't the worst fight he'd ever had with his brother and he was fairly certain it wouldn't be the last. He just hoped there wouldn't be another one for a while.

Thundercracker seemed to still be fighting, but Starscream knew that he had already won. He might have been stubborn and not all that great at conveying how much he cared for his brothers but he did care.

And then suddenly the bond broke open and he could feel his brother again.

The relief in his spark was nearly palatable, a good portion of the strain easing with the renewed connection between him and his brother. It wasn't entirely gone, but it was better for once.

Instead of using words, Thundercracker sent a tentative pulse of regret and apology through the bond.

Though the connection was still weaker between the two brothers than it should have been, Starscream could feel it clearly and he pulsed back his own feelings of regret.

The red and grey accented seeker steeped forward, for the most part able to hide the painful twinges of his wings, to grasp his brother around the shoulder and pull him upright.

"Welcome back, TC."

* * *

Rather than taking Thundercracker to the medbay and risking Hook's wrath for seeing him for the second time in so many joors, Starscream half carried his brother directly to his quarters. They weren't all that badly injured from their brief scuffle -well, Thundercracker wasn't anyways.

It wasn't anything that Starscream couldn't patch on his own.

Besides, Thundercracker would no doubt feel guilty and insist on helping him with the split welds on his back and wings.

It was only fair in Starscream's opinion, especially since he was the one who had split them.

Punching in the code to his door, the two seekers stumbled inside and Starscream hefted his slightly sturdier brother onto his berth.

Although his spark was buzzing contentedly at the close proximity of its other part, Starscream would be a fool if he wasn't slightly concerned at how dazed Thundercracker was. His brother shouldn't have been that out of it, since he was the one on the receiving end of most of the punches thrown between the two.

Starscream's optics narrowed, and he ran a thorough scan over the blue seeker and bit back a scathing series of words that would have been directed at his brother. Instead he quickly pulled a cube of medium grade energon from a subspace drawer in his desk and shoved it into Thundercracker's faceplates.

The fragging idiot barely had enough fuel left to even be conscious!

Thundercracker clumsily took the cube and sipped it slowly as Starscream waited impatiently with his arms crossed. The blue seeker could tell he was in for a few harsh words from his trine leader for letting himself run on fumes. Not that he could ever do the same when Starscream practically starved himself whenever he got involved in a long term project.

With a soft vent, Thundercracker finished the last of the cube, feeling his energon levels rise slowly to a more acceptable level.

The blue seeker fondled the empty cube in his servos, waiting for his brother to start ranting. It was only a matter of time.

 _Three... Two... One..._

"What were you _thinking!_ " Starscream exploded, his servos gesturing dramatically. "Even first vorn cadets know better than to exhaust their reserves like that!" he shouted.

Thundercracker had enough sense to look somewhat sheepish at that. "I'm sorry, Star -I wasn't thinking." He apologized quickly, genuinely, hoping to assuage his brother before he really got going.

Starscream paused and gritted his denta, his servos clenching and unclenching, before he scrubbed a servo down his face and sat down on the edge of the berth with his brother.

"Of course not, you never think do you?" He remarked scathingly, but there was no venom in it.

Thundercracker cracked a smile, "Hey, I take offense to that." The blue seeker tried to sound offended, but his deeper vocal's only succeeded in sounding mildly amused.

The two brothers both sat there for a long moment, just enjoying the close proximity that their sparks had been denied for so long.

For a moment, only the shortest of moments, Starscream's spark was at ease.

And then it was gone, and the constant tugging, itching sensation, returned. His processors were no more still than his spark, his mind filled with a whirlwind of questions and concerns that had occupied his every thought since he had returned to the Nemesis.

He hadn't quite realized what a chore it was just to manage the daily operations of an entire ship, even one as underservoed as the Nemesis currently was.

Starscream suppressed a tired vent, flicking his wings slightly, something that did not go unnoticed by his brother.

He would have to see about allocating more responsibilities to Lieutenant Hardtop, especially once he brought more mechs onto the ship. Perhaps Thundercracker would be able to help share the load as well.

But as much as he hated to admit it, Starscream couldn't run an army by himself.

Thundercracker glanced over at him, his lips pressed together in concern as his brother scrubbed a servo over his faceplates.

"You look almost as bad as I do 'Screamer. When was the last time you had a decent cube yourself?" The blue seeker asked slowly.

Starscream made a face at the nickname, "Recently enough." he snapped a little too sharply.

The truth was, he hadn't had a full tank since he had first arrived and had been force fed by Hook after his repairs. And that was only medical grade energon, nothing that would stick in his tanks as long as a regular cube.

He hadn't hardly been in his quarters even, almost constantly overseeing things from the command center.

"In other words, you're back to your old habits." Thundercracker summed up, his tone serious.

Starscream scowled, not liking the direction the conversation was taking. It was the same song and dance they always played; Thundercracker would complain that he wasn't taking care of himself and he would insist that it was none of his brother's business and it would just go back and forth from there until they were practically at each other's throats.

And now they hadn't even been reunited for a joor and Thundercracker was already at it again.

"Just drop it, Thundercracker." Starscream bit out harshly.

The blue seeker looked like he was going to say something else to push his point, but Starscream held up a servo to stop him as a comm came in from the Lieutenant.

/ _Lord Starscream, there is an incoming communication from Earth. The connection is weak, but they refuse to speak to anyone else but you, sir./_

Starscream scowled, wondering who could possibly be on Earth that would contact him specifically.

"Tell them that they can wait. I will be there when I get there." The seeker responded verbally, a small favor for his brother who was listening silently in the background.

/ _Understood, my Lord. Lieutenant Hardtop out./_

Starscream dropped his servo when the comm line cut off and slide off of the berth, at the same time pulling a polishing cloth from his subspace to buff out the worse of the scuffs from his earlier tussle with Thundercracker.

"So, are you going to tell me what that was about?" Thundercracker asked, moving to stand behind his brother.

"Not much to tell. Some mech on Earth asking for me specifically." Starscream said dismissively, paying more attention to his armor than anything else at the moment. "I didn't actually think there were any Decepticons left alive on Earth. It is quite curious actually."

Thundercracker hemmed thoughtfully, "Would it be acceptable for me to accompany you?"

The red and gray seeker cocked is helm, optics grazing over his trine mates battered frame before sighing and tossing him the polishing cloth.

"Just clean yourself up enough to not embarrass me."

Thunderscracker nodded solemnly and took the cloth gratefully, briskly buffing out the scuffs and scratches from his armor to the best of his ability.

He was going to make a comment about how it was usually Skywarp that was the trine embarrassment, but the thought deflated before it reached his glossa. His spark suddenly panged longingly at the thought of his younger brother, the only one still missing from their trine.

If Starscream felt the troubling swell of emotion through their slowly strengthening bond, he didn't say anything -instead crossing his servos and waiting impatiently for his brother to be ready.

Thundercracker did his best to suppress the feeling and subspaced the polishing cloth before approaching the door and nodding slightly to signal that he was ready.

Starscream's optics checked over his frame slowly before deciding that he was presentable enough and ducking out the door. Thundercracker followed him silently, flanking his left side as per seeker tradition.

It was comforting in a way, Starscream thought briefly, but there was still the empty space to his right that felt like a gaping hole in his spark. A comparison that wasn't all that far off really.

He would have to address that later.

For now, though, he had more pressing concerns so he pushed past the burning in his spark and focused on getting to the command center.

The doors slid open with a resounding _swish_ as Starscream stalked in regally, his wings held high and his trine mate following slightly behind looking just as imposing.

"Lieutenant, report!" The seeker snapped briskly as he headed to the main command console.

"The signal is fading in and out, my Lord, but we still have a connection." Hardtop reported confidently from his console.

Thundercracker quirked a mental optic ridge at the title given to his trine leader, but otherwise remained impassive. Starscream sent the equivalent of a rough cuff to his helm in return, not even blinking an optic in the process as he continued to give out orders.

"Boost the signal as much as possible and open the line. I want vocoder analysis running in the background to find out who this mech is."

"Understood, Lord Starscream." the Lieutenant responded, turning from where he was to start giving instructions to the other mechs in the command center.

The two seekers were left to their own for a brief moment as the mechs carried out their orders. Starscream noticed the slightly impressed look Thundercracker gave as he appraised his brothers command.

"Impressed, brother?" Starscream asked, his tone somewhat more gloating than perhaps necessary.

Thundercracker's optics glanced around the command center one last time before landing on the only other seeker in the room, "For now. I can only guess how you took command of the ship," Starscream made a face, knowing all too well how much of a pacifist his brother was despite all they had been through together, "We will see how well they follow you once the fear fades from their processes."

Starscream scoffed, but didn't say anything to refute his brother.

He knew all too well how effective fear was as a motivator, in the short term at least, and he had no taste for it after Megatron's reign. The gladiator warlord had turned from everything the Decepticon cause had stood for, and it instead led them to a fate worse than anything the Senate could have done.

He simply hadn't had any other choice.

The mechs he led were too used to Megatron's style of leadership for him to simply set himself up as their leader without any show of force.

It would take time before he could regroup enough forces that the Decepticons would follow him freely.

"Lord Starscream, we have the connection ready." Hardtop stated formally, slightly hesitant to step in between the two seekers after what he had seen earlier. While they seemed civil enough at the moment, you could never tell what a seeker would do next.

Starscream smirked at the Lieutenant, thoroughly amused by his hesitations. "Thank you, Lieutenant." He drawled, his dark faceplates catching the light of his optics in such a way that sent shivers down Hardtop's struts. "Open the connection." The seeker commanded, drawing back to his full height.

The long distance connection crackled to life with a pop of static and Starscream spoke first, his vocals authoritative and commanding.

"This is Lord Starscream of the Decepticon Flagship Nemesis. State your business in contacting me."

There was a muffled chuckle from the other side of the line before a garbled, but still recognizable voice came through.

 _/So the Decepticons answer to you now, 'Screamer? Didn't see that coming at all./_ The mech's voice was dripping with sarcasm.

Starscream's plating bristled just the slightest at the insulting nickname, but he took it in stride and responded in like kind. "Barricade! And here I thought you ran off to die somewhere on that infested mudball they call a planet!"

 _/Unfortunately for you, no. Unfortunately for me, I am injured and stranded on said planet./_ Barricade ground out, the connection fizzing out for a klick before picking back up.

Starscream hemmed thoughtfully, "I take that to mean you want a favor, _Barricade?_ " He put forward, a sly grin creeping up on his faceplates.

There was a long moment of silence and if it weren't for the continued crackle of static he might have thought the connection had been lost.

 _/...Yes/_ The mech growled, leaving Starscream somewhat surprised. He hadn't expected the scout to give in so easily. _/Just get me off this fraggin' planet, Starscream!/_

The seeker grinned darkly, "Done." He paused, "However, it will take at least two cycles to prep the Nemesis and arrive undetected by the remaining Autobot forces. Until then, there is something I'd like you to do for me."

 _/Starscream.../_ Barricade bit out warningly.

"Don't worry yourself, Barricade, it's nothing that a capable scout like yourself can't handle. I'm sending you your instructions now." Starscream stated calmly, shoving an underling out of the way to transmit the data packet.

It took several klicks, but eventually the packet transferred successfully.

 _/Receiving the data now./_ Barricade confirmed, before going silent. Starscream could only assume this was because he was reading the data. _/What the frag Starscream? What part of_ _ **injured**_ _did you not compute? I can't risk being captured by the Autobots or their squishy pets with no backup!/_ The scout exploded colorfully, the poor connection cutting in and out as he swore.

"Ah, but that's where you are wrong! You will have backup... We will just be a little farther behind, that's all." Starscream stated casually, picking at his digits as he spoke. "Or I suppose you can always fend for yourself on Earth..." Starscream proposed, already knowing that that wasn't an option for the mech.

 _/Fine! I'll do it! But I'm warning you Starscream, the klick I see an Autobot skid plate I'm out. You hear me?/_

Starscream smirked, fiddling with a few settings on the console. "Sorry what was that Barricade? I'm afraid we're losing your signal..."

 _/Frag you, Starsrcshsshsh-/_

The connection cut out with a short burst of static.

Starscream turned around from the console, feigning innocence like only he could.

"Oh dear, I did warn him." He chuckled darkly and gestured for Hardtop to approach. "Lieutenant, I want you to pull in all our mechs and prepare to set a course for Earth. We're going to visit some humans..."

The Lieutenant nodded vigorously and ran off to do as he was instructed.

The seeker turned to his brother, optics glinting. Oh the things he had planned for those humans that shot him down, them and their entire organization. His spark rumbled eagerly at the thought and Starscream did his best to imagine it was because of the prospect of revenge, not the idea of seeing a certain human sparkling he had left behind.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN:**

 **Hello all, here we are again with the next antagonizing chapter for your reading enjoyment! I know some of you aren't as fond of the chapters with no Alexis, but trust me when I say that they are just as important as anything else. That, and I frankly love writing Starscream being evil just as much as I love writing him doting on his human sparkling. So there! *sticks out tongue* Fortunately for you, this chapter does have some Alexis to keep my readers from rebelling!**

 **This chapter also has several elements borrowed from The Reign of Starscream #2 (** _which I do not own_ **) if you've read that. If not, that's fine too because it's not needed at all to understand what's going on.**

 **To lizy2000:** Glad you thought it was interesting! Hope you enjoy this chapter as well!

 **To** **TatteredAngel42: ** Here's your update! Unfortunately that's not quite what Barricades orders were. :) Patience my friend. This chapter should clear up some things and leave you hanging at the end. Sorry. Also, I absolutely adore that song you recommended in your last review! It is so far beyond perfect for Starscream and Alexis, you have no idea.

 **To himelove22:** Yup! Thundercracker is back! Unfortunately Skywarp might take a while longer to rejoin the trine for... reasons. *cackles* And I can't really say how they would react to Alexis... only that they would most certainly react!

 **To SunnySides:** Haha, you're right he did. It took me a second to figure out what you were referring to, but yeah, its a pretty classic thing to do! Sorry, but no fluff to be found in this chapter. Next chapter might have some, but chapter 17 is where the fluff really starts picking up!

 **Thanks again for the reviews. I don't get as many as I used to... but I always love hearing from the faithful few! Keep it up and please don't hate me for this cliffhanger! *hides inside bunker***

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the Transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

* * *

 **Always**

" _It will be found, in fact, that the ingenious are always fanciful, and the truly imaginative never otherwise than analytic."_

― _Edgar Allan Poe_

 **Chapter Fifteen**

Alexis slumped down against the wall, not caring that she was getting her sweatshirt dirty. It had been dirty when she found it and it wasn't getting any cleaner the longer she wore it, so she couldn't find it in herself to particularly care. It wasn't even hers for that matter.

Much like everything else she had found in the past few weeks.

She knew that it shouldn't bother her as much as it did, it wasn't like anybody was coming back for the things she had taken, but it still felt wrong to her. It wasn't technically stealing if nobody wanted the stuff right?

That was only one of the many arguments she had made to keep from feeling guilty.

Most of the time need outweighed guilt.

Especially when she was cold, hungry, and all alone in the middle of the ruins of battle she never should have been in.

Hence the hugely oversized hoody she now wore. It fit her about as well as a tent, the hem of the sweatshirt reaching her knees and the sleeves easily dragged on the floor if she didn't keep them pushed up in huge wads around her elbows. But it was warm and comfortable and made it a lot easier to bundle herself up to sleep at night and hide from the darkness.

One of the more exciting things she had found was a hairbrush buried in the streets. The handle had been snapped off and the bristles were well and truly abused, but it was a hairbrush!

The first time she tried using it without thinking and plunged the thing down the length of her matted and dirty blond hair, the brush had gotten stuck.

Alexis made a face at the memory. She had spent nearly an entire day trying to pull the stupid thing out of her hair. Eventually though, after many, many hours, she had been able to brush through her hair with some success. Her hair was still stringy, limp, and greasy from not having taken a bath in who knows how long, but the tangles were mostly gone.

It was now one of Alexis's favorite things to do when the nightmares kept her awake. It was calming and an easy distraction for the girl to simply brush through her hair over and over again when sitting in the dark after waking up screaming.

Night time always was the longest part of the day for Alexis.

Sometimes it was because the nightmares kept her awake, other times it was because she was so cold or hungry that sleep was impossible, and then there were the times when she thought she could hear things moving in the dark. Those were the nights when she would pull out her flashlight and sit curled up into the tightest ball she could get in the corner of her hideout.

During the day it was easier to keep busy and distracted. Some days she could almost convince herself that everything that had happened to her was just a big adventure and that she was some sort of princess waiting to be rescued.

Most days though she just scoured the rubble for everything and anything that she could eat or take back with her. Her knapsack had proven invaluable to her, especially when she strayed too far from her alcove to carry everything in her arms.

Food and water wasn't always easy to find. Most anything she found was crushed beyond recognition and fresh food was hardly an option.

Canned food was always a staple find. A can could be dented to the point of being unrecognizable, but as long as she could get it open she would always have something to eat. At least when the cans were the kind with pull tops. Those were her favorites.

Getting the other cans open was the real trick.

She hadn't quite found a way to open them without a can opener. So for the past while she had simply collected them in a stack next to the wall. It was frustrating to have all the cans full of food that she couldn't eat sitting right in front of her, but she didn't stop taking them back. She still hoped that she would find something useful in the rubble to let her open them.

Alexis rubbed her arms briskly, trying not the shiver as she stood up to place a few more cans on the stack that she couldn't open.

She was always cold.

Even when the sun was beating down hot enough to burn her, she still felt cold. At first it had been confusing to her and she had bundled up in every scrap of clothing she could find, only to pass out later in the afternoon from too much heat. But she had still felt cold.

After the first few weeks she had given up on ever feeling warm, truly warm, again. The cold she felt was on the inside.

Sometimes it would feel like she had ice in her chest and it would be so sudden that she wouldn't be able to breathe for a few seconds. The first time it had happened she had had a full blown panic attack. Being able to breathe was very important to the small girl.

Now she was more used it, the cold feeling inside of her. It didn't make it any more pleasant, but it was something she expected now. It had become familiar in a way, the icy cold that had settled in her chest, despite the pain.

It was always there.

Alexis sighed softly and stood back from the ever growing stack of unopenable cans. She had close to thirty cans by now if she had counted right.

There was another, much smaller stack beside it. This was the stack of cans with the pull tops that she could open whenever she needed. She tried not to eat more than one can a day, but sometimes the hunger won over her sensibility when it came to rationing out her limited supplies of food.

It looked like today was going to be another one of those days.

She had eaten a can earlier that morning, it had been something or other in tomato sauce that she didn't really like all that much. She had eaten it anyways, but now she was hungry again.

Alexis bit her lip and rubbed her arms again as she contemplated which can she wanted to open.

Eventually she picked out a smaller can with most of its label torn off, but what was left was green and yellow. That meant it most likely wouldn't be anything tomato-y.

With a small bit of effort, the small girl pulled the top off and sat down on her blue tarp slash mattress.

Alexis smiled at the unsightly looking cream paste with chunks of corn. It was creamed corn! The girl, pleased with her choice of cans, eagerly dipped her fingers in and began scooping the substance into her mouth.

Creamed corn was one of her favorite things to eat. Even before all of everything happened she remembered eating it straight out of the can with a spoon.

Alexis paused and glanced down at the creamed corn all over her fingers.

She remembered eating it, and she remembered a feeling of amused disapproval. It was such a fleeting whisper of a memory that the girl could hardly label it, but it made her sad and she didn't know why.

She shook her head roughly and continued eating, albeit at a much slower pace as she savored the sweet flavor of the creamed corn.

Alexis listened carefully to the silence as she ate. It had changed since she had first remembered being in the ruins. The buildings were always shifting under their own weight, and every so often she would feel the ground shake where one would finally finish collapsing. Now, as the dust and debris had settled further with the weathering of the weeks, the content creaking of the buildings seemed to have stopped.

In its place was a very still sort of silence.

She didn't like how loud it made her footsteps when she was exploring, or how the wind seemed to howl louder and louder through the ruins when she wasn't paying attention.

The silence made it harder to forget now that she was alone.

With a clatter, Alexis pitched her now empty can across the room as hard as she could, her fists clenching when she winced at how loud it was when it echoed through the ruined building she called home.

Rubbing a hand across her chest, the girl hefted her emptied knapsack over her shoulder and stood to duck out of the alcove.

Alexis sighed heavily after glancing back at Starscream's map on the wall, before turning to face the harsh world outside. It was mid-afternoon with a few sparse clouds dusting the sky above. She stared up for a long moment, feeling the strange coldness in her chest twinge painfully.

The girl fell heavily to her knees, the coarse asphalt and debris cutting into her skin.

She had had attacks like this before, but this one was different. Alexis sucked in a sharp breath of air as she rocked back and forth on her knees with her arms pulled tight to her chest. Then it was gone just as suddenly as it had come.

Alexis stood shakily, propping herself up on a nearby outcropping of cement and blinked the tears from her watery eyes. From there she reached for her bag from where she had dropped it and slowly walked back to the alcove.

The girl shivered slightly and rubbed her arms. She didn't feel like going out on another scavenging trip anymore.

* * *

Starscream winced slightly from where he stood facing the command centers view port. Despite the tremendous speeds the Nemesis was traveling at, the stars seemed to be steady and constant whenever you looked out into space. It was a basic fact of science that the phenomenon was an optic illusion –Starscream knew this, but sometimes one could be easily enthralled by the simplest things when trying to distract themselves.

The closer they got to earth, the more persistent his spark became. It was constantly pulling and urging him for reasons he refused to acknowledge.

He wasn't sure, his bond with Thundercracker was still weaker than normal, but he suspected that his brother had felt the strange activity from his end of the bond. Still, since TC hadn't made any mention of it, Starscream would continue to assume that his brother remained unaware of his spark's increased turmoil.

Said brother stood close by, monitoring their progress as the Nemesis was pushed to top speeds.

Somehow, without him noticing, the command center had been emptied of all other mechs, leaving the two seekers alone.

Starscream vented, a barely noticeable show of acknowledgement. "How far out are we, Thundercracker?"

His brother glanced over for a half klick before turning back to his console, "Two, maybe three breems till we reach the dark side of the moon."

Starscream nodded, "Let the crew know and inform them that only a small complement will be going planet side. You will be accompanying me I assume?"

"Of course." Thundercracker responded without looking up before pausing and running a servo down his faceplates. "Star, I think there's something we still need to address."

The red and grey accented seeker tried to hide how his spark lurched at the thought of being asked directly about what was going on.

"Go on." Starscream managed to respond somewhat smoothly.

Thundercracker vented, suddenly looking very tired and reminding Starscream that he probably wasn't nearly as recovered as he seemed. "I know it's not just me that misses him. I can feel it in your spark. When are we going to go after 'Warp? It doesn't feel right, us being back together while he's still out there, somewhere, thinking we left him."

Starscream felt a wash of mixed emotions flow through his spark at his brother's words, relief and apprehension being foremost for entirely different reasons. Relief because Thundercracker seemed to have mistaken his spark's turmoil as concern for their youngest brother, apprehension because he didn't want to think about Skywarp any more than he wanted to think about what waited for him on earth.

"I know TC, I know." Starscream stole another fugitive glance around the command center to make sure that they were actually alone. He only ever let his guard down around his trine, and even then it was hard to be the true him that was only seen by his brothers.

After joining the Decepticons and making his way up the ranks, Starscream had learned the hard way that any perceived ties or connections with his brothers was an easy exploit in the Decepticon army. Megatron especially loved to try and break Starscream down by punishing his trine for whatever mistake Starscream may or may not have made.

So Starscream changed.

He changed how he acted around and how he treated his trine. To make it seem like they meant nothing to him, that they were just as disposable as any other mech. That they had no relation to each other besides being the Elite trine. And sometimes his act convinced them as much as it convinced the others.

Now it was a hard habit to break.

"I miss him too." Starscream eventually rumbled, looking somewhat unfocused.

" _Then why aren't we looking for him!_ " Thundercracker roared, violently shaking his brother by the shoulder bolts.

Starscream shoved the slightly bigger seeker off of him with a hiss, "We wouldn't have to look for him if you'd stayed with him!"

Thundercracker shrunk back as if he had just been shot, his red optics widening.

"I didn't leave him." The blue seeker nearly whispered, "He was supposed to be right behind me."

Starscream tried to ignore how hurt his brother looked as he questioned him incredulously, "So you _lost_ him?"

"NO!" Thundercracker bit out almost immediately. Then he vented and sat down heavily on the console behind him. "Yes, maybe. I don't know! All I know is that we were flying through one of the abandoned mining sectors back on Cybertron; he was right behind me one klick and then the next… he was gone."

Starscream was silent, his crimson optics narrowed coldly.

"I looked for him for cycles, Star. I kept looking until I was dragged back to the Nemesis by Wreckage's mechs." Thundercracker explained, his lighter optics begging for forgiveness from Starscream's richer crimson ones.

They stared at each other for a long moment, both searching and not finding, when the ship shuddered violently.

Starscream turned to his console with hardly a second glance at his brother, just as Hardtop barreled into the command center.

"Lieutenant, report!" Starscream barked as he brought up the Nemesis structural diagrams, looking for the stress points.

"We've just entered the moon's orbit, Lord Starscream! We should settle out once we've synchronized with the Earth's rotation." The Lieutenant reported succinctly, his optics flickering anxiously between the two seekers.

Starscream relaxed just the slightest, his wings flicking fractionally as the Nemesis creaked and groaned around them. His spark seemed to strain in time with the massive ship, sending trepidation through his processor in waves.

"Very well. Thundercracker!" Starscream barked as he headed towards the command center exit, giving his brother a pointed look. "With me."

The large blue seeker bowed his helm and followed his trine leader stoically out the door.

They were both silent, lost in their own processors as they walked toward the deck. Being seekers, they would easily be able to transform and fly to Earth without making targets of themselves.

Starscream could feel Thundercracker's frustration through their bond, simmering in the background beneath his own spark's pulsing and pulling.

Once they stepped out onto the deck, the cold vacuum of space engulfed them both with quiet hissing sound as their frames adjusted to the vastly different environment.

"You will need to trans-scan my current alt before we go planet side." Starscream stated casually, his tone giving nothing away as to his internal state of mind.

Thundercracker raised an optic ridge, "Why the slag would I want to do that?" His own tone doing nothing to hide his current feelings towards his brother.

"Because if you don't, then you will probably be shot down by the humans before we can even lock onto Barricade's signature." Starscream stated simply.

"Fine." Thundercracker growled, a beam of light sweeping up and down Starscream's frame.

His own frame began shifting and twisting to accommodate his new alt mode and the blue seeker's lips curled in distaste. The earth based alt mode was bulkier than what he was used to.

Starscream smirked at his brother's expression, small as it was. Perhaps if they were as close as they used to be, if there wasn't this tension between them because of Skywarp, then he might have made a joke about how heavy he looked –which probably would have ended up with him in a headlock- but Starscream held his glossa.

"Despite being a primitive design, the human's vehicles have proven quite efficient when coupled with our species adaptability." He commented blandly as Thundercracker's plating finished shifting.

His brother gave him a look that clearly told him he knew exactly what Starscream was thinking and disengaged his mag-locks to transform into his new alt.

Starscream smirked darkly and followed suit, transforming and activating his a comline to the command center.

/ _This is Lord Starscream, are we clear for takeoff?/_

/ _You are clear for takeoff, my Lord. Barricade's coordinates are approximately 36°0′56″ North and 114°44′16″ West._ /

 _/Copy that Lieutenant. Keep the Nemesis on lockdown until my return. Starscream out./_

Cutting the comline Starscream poured power into his thrusters and set a course towards those coordinates. Thundercracker followed close behind, flanking his right side.

Starscream felt a pulse of elation through all the other emotions bombarding his spark, the simple joy of flying with his brother again, even if if was only half his trine. After flying alone for so long or with, primus forbid, generic flyers, flying with another seeker by his side was a luxury he had not had for many vorns.

The two seekers flew fast and silently to their destination, relishing the short moment to relax before they unleashed pit upon the humans.

* * *

It was a hot and dry morning, the early fall temperatures skyrocketing to a blistering 98 degrees.

This had not gone unnoticed by the human soldiers guarding the renowned Hoover Dam and the lesser known secret facilities hidden inside. The shift rotations had been shortened to two hour stretches after several men had suffered heat stroke and other such sicknesses caused by the scorching late summer weather.

Security however, was higher than ever after the pickup of a rogue N.B.E. that had surrendered after barreling directly into an undercover transport and blowing up half of interstate 95 coming out of Boulder City.

That had certainly been fun to try and explain to their peers, but bringing in one of _them_ made up for it significantly.

N.B.E. A Non-Biological Extraterestrial. That's what they called them -the aliens that had infiltrated their planet since before recorded history.

For now, the alien had surrendered calmly and remained seated quietly in the high security lockup prepared specifically for its kind. To some of the humans guarding it, it almost appeared like the black and white N.B.E was in some kind of meditative pose. Most however, tried to avoid such comparisons lest they make out the aliens as something more 'human', so to speak.

That had been two days ago.

Now the humans were becoming uneasy, tense and aggitated when guarding their silent prisoner.

The alien hadn't moved at all since they had brought it in and chained it down.

It just sat there.

They would've entertained the idea that it had died somehow of its injuries, but the Sector seven engineers guaranteed that it was alive.

If you listened closely, you could hear the tiniest rattling of its ventilation systems or the occasional hiss of a hydraulic pump. Even when the scientists and engineers came and poked around the N.B.E they hardly got a response.

A twitch and a growl was all.

A brief glance of those burning red optics.

It was more than enough to send shudders down their spines.

Most made a point to avoid coming into contact with the N.B.E. Those who could not avoid it did their best to ignore the alien and continue on with their duties. After all, if it was ignoring them, then there was no point in provoking it if they could help it.

So despite the eerie air of tension hanging over the soldiers, they went through the day as they normally would.

The older soldiers and veterans all held their breaths, knowing the familiar feeling in their gut to never be wrong. While the young recruits and naïve soldiers joked around to try and ease the tension, they were waiting, ready for whatever was coming.

It was a shame that they had no chance either way.

At precisely 1300 hours, all hell broke loose and fire rained down from the sky in the form of two unidentified F-22 aircraft. It didn't take long for the human's to realize that the aircraft were N.B.E's as well and calls were instantly made by those who could to bring up the heavy artillery and sabot rounds, the only known weapons to do damage to these aliens.

However things were quickly spiralling out of control when the N.B.E that they had imprisoned became active.

The black and white police car's red eyes snapped open and it smirked before standing up and snapping through its restraints like thread.

They had never captured the N.B.E.

Not really.

They had been played like fools by these metal beings. These mechanical aliens. The black and white one had been bait the entire time, meant for them to lead directly into their base while its friends somehow tracked him.

The Sector Seven engineers had once again proven they were far beyond their depth of comprehension when it came to the technology based aliens. They had sworn up and down that the one they had captured had no way of communicating with the others.

They had also declared it defenseless.

But the bodies that now lined the floor seemed to say otherwise.

The walls of the base shook and sent soldiers to their hands and knees before one half of the compound collapsed into itself, burying several more men underneath in the process. After the dust settled, two massive figures stood in the gaping hole, wings spanning tall behind them and somehow looking like archangels sent to guide them to death.

Starscream stepped forward, ducking into the large compound with little effort.

He sneered at the punitive forces aiming their weapons at him. He could hear their pathetic little fuel pumps beating rapidly in fear and smirked darkly, lowering his missile launchers to a more passive position.

"Greetings humans," Starscream's tone was anything but pleasant despite his cordial words, "I am prepared to give you one chance to surrender in return for something you have taken from me. Return him and you get to continue your pathetic fleshy lives."

The humans shared a series of glances before a single one shuffled forward, his weapon pointed steadily at the seeker.

"We don't make deals with alien scum like you!"

Starscream was about to laugh at the clearly terrified human, but instead let out a harsh scream and clutched at the side of his face when the human fired a round of cluster bombs directly in his faceplates.

"ARGGGG!" Starscream swore colorfully, briefly returning to his Cybertronian tongue. In one swift motion he had removed his servos from his face and began firing missiles into the compound.

His optics burned brightly as he laid waste to the humans who would dare to defy him. The cluster bombs hadn't done much to really damage him, but it sure as pit was enough to slag him off.

If the humans had a death wish, then he was more than happy to indulge them.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN:**

 **Hey everyone! Massive apologies for how late this is. I went to a week-long camp this last week and simply did not have any time to write at all.  
Once again, this chapter has some things borrowed from The Reign of Starscream #2 (** _which I do not own_ **) if you've read that. If not, that's fine too because it's not needed at all to understand what's going on. Oh, and the comlink conversations in italics are generally assumed to be in cybertronian.**

 **To himelove22:** _Glad you liked it! This chapter will explain some more of what's going one with Starscream and 'Lexis. But your right, Starscream really doesn't have a choice in the matter._

 **To SunnySides:** Hhehe, I can't say anything because of spoilers, but your guesses are just about on point! As for Skywarp, well, you'll just have to wait and see. And you have no idea how happy it makes that people actually look forward to my updates! Hopefully you enjoy this chapter just as much!

 **To lizy2000:** Ummm, I'm not sure what you're thinking is so funny, but I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter!

 **Listen to the Glitch Mob's Distance Between Two Points ft. Swan for the second half of this chapter to really set the mood.  
Reviews are also really appreciated! Enjoy!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

* * *

 **Always**

" _I have not always been as now:_

 _The fever'd diadem on my brow_

 _I claim'd and won unsurprisingly-"_

 _Edgar Allan Poe_

 **Chapter Sixteen**

 _/Barricade! Report your status immediately!/_ Starscream demanded shortly over his comlink with clipped glyphs expressing his ire.

He snarled and fired his null rays into a crowd of human annoyances firing at him. They couldn't really damage him enough to stop him, but that didn't change that it was down right irritating to have hundreds of bullets constantly pinging off of his armor.

He had yet to locate Barricade inside of the human compound, and was becoming increasingly frustrated by the obstacles he faced due to his size.

The compound was massive, but while he fit inside it was not the most pleasant of circumstances. His wings were forced up into a steep angle to keep from brushing up against the walls. Between that and everything else, Starscream was well beyond slagged off.

And now he had lost contact with his scout.

/ _Barricade report!/_ Starscream demanded once again, taking out his frustration on the human forces attempting to stop him.

He paused when there was a click of static and his comline became active. / _This is Barricade reporting./_

Starscream cut him off with a burst of glyphs equivalent to ire and superiority, all with a threatening slant, / _Where have you been and why did you not report in!?/_

/ _My apologies, my Lord./_ Submission tilted his glyphs as he went on the explain. / _I could not report in due to interference further inside the compound. I do not believe it is of human origin./_

Starscream's optics narrowed.

It must be the residual radiation from the Allspark. It was no wonder Megatron had been driven mad if he had been kept in such close proximity to the powerful artifact. The humans had no idea what the significance of the cube was, they had no comprehension of the power it was capable of.

They could have ruled their planet, the galaxy even, if they had only known what exactly the Allspark was.

He was distracted from his processing when Barricade continued, / _I also downloaded the humans' databases and found some information you might be interested in._ /

Starscream was mildly impressed, but the information he wanted would only be found if he had a human to interrogate. / _Very well Barricade, rendezvous with Thundercracker outside the compound. I will arrive after I take care of some… personal business./_

There was a pause where he thought that Barricade might question him, but was pleased when he didn't. _/Understood. Barricade out./_

Starscream smirked as the comlink cut out with a short sizzle and continued down the corridors of the dam compound. He had one last thing he needed before he left this place to rot.

The seeker hissed as a series of bullets glanced off of the back of his wings and snarled as he whirled around to face the humans uselessly shooting him with their pathetic weapons.

"You might be surprised to learn this, but your weapons are quite ineffective on my kind." Starscream taunted darkly, "Unfortunately for you, my weapons are not nearly so limited."

The humans only had long enough to register what he was saying before they were nothing more than charcoaled heaps lining the floor.

Starscream really wished that they would get the hint sooner or later that they were hopelessly underpowered against a seeker of his experience, but until that point in time, he would gladly accept the entertainment they provided.

After removing the annoyances that were slowing him down, the seeker was able to get to where he had originally intended, a large open chamber in the center of the complex.

The place reeked of the Allspark and the radiation it emitted.

Starscream glanced over the area with both his optics and scanners, taking in the signs of Megatron's rude awakening and the chaos that had ensued.

But that wasn't what he was here for.

Starscream smirked darkly and his optics dimmed as he focused his systems entirely into scanning the radiation signatures left behind by the Allspark.

Maybe, just maybe, with the right resources and equipment, he could rebuild the technology that made the Allspark the powerful relic that it was.

Luckily for him, the humans in all their self-entitled brilliance had trapped decades worth of Allspark radiation within the cement and metal walls that encompassed it. It was probably the strongest remaining source of Allspark energy left in the universe. And Starscream fully intended to take advantage of it.

Then he would make sure no one else had access to the same resource.

Starscream trailed a talon over several burn marks on one of the walls -these were not from weapons, that much he could tell. The seeker straightened and turned around, taking in his location.

This is where they stored the Allspark.

He was standing where the most powerful artifact of their race had once set.

It was beyond enthralling.

Starscream took a short moment to absorb the energies radiating around him before finishing his scans and moving on. He couldn't stay much longer lest he risk over exposure to the residual radiation. It wasn't likely to be very harmful in such a short period of time, but after seeing the affects it had on Megatron he wasn't too keen to risk it.

But just as Starscream went to take a step his spark lurched so painfully he found himself unable to stand on his own pedes. The seeker crashed to the ground, gouging the cement and shaking the floors from the impact.

His spark burned like acid in its casing and he could hardly see through static filled optics as his entire system fluctuated and spiked from the inconsistent surges of energy from his very life source.

 _Fragfragfrag._

Starscream vented heavily, unevenly, in a poor attempt to regain control of his systems before he was sent into stasis from the overload of energy.

If he had been paying any attention at all to his scanners, he would have instantly noticed the massive increase in Allspark radiation flooding the room, but at that point in time Starscream was more focused on the slowly fading burn of his spark.

He hissed in pain when he felt his brother's worried prodding through his bond before he heard Thundercracker's voice echoing in his helm.

/ _Starscream!? Are you okay, what just happened?/_

Starscream choked back a whine at how his helm throbbed from using his comlink. _/I'm fine./_ He growled lowly, not wanting to show weakness -not even to his own brother.

Unfortunately for him, Thundercracker was always able to see right through him. _/Alright I'm coming to get you out, I'll be right there./_

 _/NO!/_ Starscream barked, his tone leaving no room for argument. / _You will return to the Nemesis with Barricade immediately, am I understood?/_

 _/…I will comply./_ Thundercracker bit out lowly and Starscream's optics narrowed sharply at his brother's choice of words. _Slag._ Now he probably owed TC an apology as well.

 _/I will rejoin you at the Nemesis later on, I have some… business to finish taking care of first./_ Starscream paused, venting heavily as his systems settled after… after whatever _that_ was. He pinched his nasal ridge and closed his optics at the wave of pain throbbing through his neural net _._

He didn't get a response, so he cut off the comlink with a vent as he struggled to return to his pedes.

His spark pulsed and tugged, but it didn't flare up again, at least not as bad as it did before. This was just the same constant ache that never seemed to leave him. It paled in comparison to the waves of pain that he had just experienced.

He would definitely have to talk to Hook about that. Spark attacks like that were not normal.

But that would be something for another time; for right now he really needed to get out of the human compound before any Autobots showed their ugly faces. The last thing he needed to deal with right now was some Autobot shoving a gun in his face.

Straightening stiffly, Starscream walked back through the compound with no further interruptions. Most everything inside was either dead or hiding like glitch-mice, so he found very little in the way of resistance.

The seeker subconsciously rubbed his servo against his chest plating right above his thrumming spark, scowling slightly when he realized what he was doing.

Starscream ducked out of the hole he had made in the dam and transformed swiftly, cursing fluidly at the fresh wave of pain the rapid movement caused in his processor. Frag, he hadn't ever had a helm ache this bad.

He didn't care to let it stop him though, so after a few circles around the dam Starscream loaded his missiles.

And he fired.

* * *

Flying in no particular direction at all, Starscream's thoughts wandered to the small human girl for the umpteenth time since he had returned to earth. It was like a virus he could not eliminate and it plagued him constantly it seemed.

His spark's urges seemed to have only gotten worse since the attack at the dam.

Starscream was still trying to make sense of it.

He had hoped that catching some atmosphere mind help to clear his helm, but so far the normally relaxing act of flying had only served to send him in circles -both physically and mentally.

His thoughts drifted back to the human scraplet.

He hadn't had any of the problems he had now until he found her. Until she had somehow activated seeker protocols he didn't realize he even had.

Starscream had been trying to deny it for as long as he could after he had finally connected the dots between his spark and his actions towards the human child. It wasn't as much hard to deny, as it was impossible to explain.

It shouldn't be possible at all.

Humans didn't have sparks. There was no way for his spark to even register her as a sparkling.

Yet here he was, still trying to convince himself otherwise.

Primus slaggit.

Sometimes Starscream hated the universe and how it constantly saw fit to deviate from everything that made sense.

Or maybe that was just special for him?

Starscream's alt mode seemed to sag mid-air before he made an abrupt course change and set off towards the Misson City ruins.

Maybe if he would convince his spark that the girl was alright then he could leave in peace and continue with his life.

His spark hummed eagerly, seeming to sing as if it had won some long drawn out battle. If he hadn't been in jet-mode, Starscream would have glowered. As it was, the seeker cursed silently into the wind even as he poured more speed into his thrusters.

The closer he got the less his spark strained. The constant pull, the tension, became less pronounced and more bearable.

It seemed liked it was only a few short breems before he entered within sensor range of what was left of Mission City's borders. Starscream's sensors instantly became tuned for the specific heart-beat he was looking for without him noticing.

His engines whined as he slowed for an open air transformation.

The seeker's spark thrummed questioningly, searching but not finding what it was reaching for. Starscream paused, frowning at the foreign concern seeping through his processes before extending his sensor range and slowly scouting the perimeter. He would find her eventually, if the scraplet was still here.

After all, there was only so far a small human could go.

* * *

Alexis huffed as she ran, feeling the air rush pash her face and through her hair as she raced over and through the rubble. She couldn't slow down now, not until she found knew for sure if it was him.

If Starscream had come back or not.

When she had heard the jet engines, she had known, somehow, that it had to be Starscream. She couldn't explain it rationally, she just felt it. It couldn't have been anyone else.

Clutching her sides, the small girl was forced to slow down, but she never stopped. Even when she started to leave the area she was familiar with, she kept going in the direction she had heard the roar of what could only be jet engines.

The thought briefly crosed her mind that she shouldn't have left her knapsack laying in the middle of the ruins, but it was quickly discarded.

That wasn't important right now, what was important was finding Starscream.

That was all that mattered to her.

Alexis's breathing hitched when she caught a glimpse of the back of his helm and wings. It _was_ him! She was right!

Of course it wasn't like she doubted herself or anything... it easily could have just been something else. So the confirmation that it actually was Starscream sent her another burst of energy as she rushed through the ruins.

Alexis ducked through a building, coming out of the other side and finding herself nearly face-planting into the seeker's foot.

She gasped, all her previous feelings suddenly replaced with apprehension and fear as she quickly shrunk back into the building. The girl's heart felt like it was going a million miles per hour and was going to burst her eardrums. Surely he couldn't hear her, could he?

Alexis swallowed thickly, her mouth feeling very dry at that moment, before peeking out of a crevice in the wall.

She could see Starscream shifting just outside the building. It was almost as if he was looking for something.

And then he paused.

Alexis froze when he started speaking.

"I know you are here, scraplet, so you might as well show yourself." Starscream stated, his voice exactly as she remembered it. Scratchy and smooth at the same time, and also very... tired? That was new.

"I wouldn't test my patience human, for I have very little where your kind is involved."

Okay. A threat. That sounded a bit more like Starscream normally did.

Then Alexis was suddenly flooded with all the anger and frustration she had felt since he left her, all coming to the surface at once and she darted out of the building and right up to the seeker's foot.

"You left me!" She shrieked, not even noticing how she had started crying. She was just so angry at him and she was going to make sure he knew it. "You said you wern't comin' back an' you lef' me al'lone!" She sobbed as she pummeled the plating on his foot with all the fury of a distraught little girl. Her words were barely understandable at this point and her knuckles were red and starting to hurt, but she couldn't find it in herself to care as she continued to hit him.

Starscream turned down to look at the tiny fleshling attempting to hurt him and was confused. Did his leaving really affect her this much?

His spark ached, watching her blotchy red face twist with so much anger and fear.

Scowling, Starscream reached down and picked the girl up into his servo. "Enough of this!" He commanded sharply when she continued to weakly punch at the inside of his servo.

Alexis hiccoughed and curled up into a ball and buried her face in her knees.

Starscream didn't know what he was supposed to do now. His spark didn't hurt, he realized abruptly, but it still was reaching for her. It wanted him to comfort her, but he had no clue how too.

The seeker's engines rumbled slightly in distaste. What was he even doing here, trying to comfort a pathetic human squishy?

Starscream glanced back down to the girl where she had stopped crying and was slowly relaxing from the tense little ball she had curled up into. He paused, considering this development before tentatively revving his engines again in a soft rolling rumble.

The girl seemed to relax instantly taking a deep breath and blinking the rest of her tears out of her optics.

He waited, clearly seeing that she had something she wanted to say.

"You came back." Alexis stated softly, a breath of a question in the statement. "You said you wudn't come back, but you did." Her voice was still wavery from crying, and he could tell she was doing her best to hide it.

Starscream found himself responding before he could stop himself, "It wouldn't be the first time I told a lie, scraplet."

Alexis blinked, confusion flashing through her face before what he meant finally sunk in.

"Oh."

They were both silent for a long while and at some point during the pause Starscream had started walking back towards the center of the city's ruins and territory she recognized. His servo was cupped close to his chest plates and if Alexis listened closely she could hear a deep thrumming sound coming from inside his chest.

Perhaps that was his heart? It had to be something similar, or at least that's what she figured.

Whatever it was it was comforting and for the first time in months she didn't feel so cold on the inside.

In fact, Alexis realized abruptly, she didn't feel cold at all. Her chest felt like a weight had been lifted from her lungs and she was light and warm. It was the strangest feeling after being used to the cold weight inside her for so long.

Alexis smiled softly and leaned closer to the side of Starscream's hand.

She had so many things she wanted to tell him, to ask him about -mostly about why he had come back for her, but she was finding it difficult to keep her eyes open. All that running from earlier had worn the small girl out significantly; add an emotional outburst the size of what she had just had and you'd have a very tired Alexis.

So it didn't take very long for the even sway of Starscream's footsteps to lull her to a light doze before she passed out completely.

Starscream noticed that she had fallen into recharge the second she had slumped down in his servo, but decided there there was little point in disturbing her. Instead, he shifted his grip on her so that she was more securely cupped close to his spark chamber as he kept walking through the remains of the city.

His processors were all going in circles trying to figure out just what he was doing. His spark was of little assistance in the matter, firmly insisting that everything was perfect and thrumming contentedly in contrast to his mental state.

He could not argue the change in how he felt and it disturbed him that his spark was so easily captured by this... this _human_.

Starscream glanced down at the tiny frame in his servo.

This human his spark had inexplicably claimed as his.

Starscream startled himself by how possessive he felt over the human sparkling and vented heavily, scowling at the absurdity of the entire situation he had gotten himself into.

There was simply no way he could keep her with him or bring her back to the Nemesis. Even if he claimed her as his pet, he knew that she wouldn't last a joor with the other Decepticons. No, she had to stay here.

His spark didn't like the idea very much, not even a little bit, judging by the way it flared protectively in its chamber.

Starscream eventually found his way back to where he had made his hideout when he had been here before and ducked into the alcove with the human sparkling tucked close to his chassis.

He was mildly surprised to see the small, but noticeable changes in the room. The stack of nutrients in the corner, the pile of cloths by the same blue plastic tarp he had left. What caught his attention the most though was the small, precise marks scratched into the wall beside the map he had drawn.

His optics widened by just a fraction when he found that the number of marks roughly correlated to the number of earth days since he had left.

71 days. Just under two earth months.

Starscream's spark clenched at the idea of a sparkling, _his sparkling,_ being neglected for so long.

He pushed the thought away with a firm shake of his helm. There was nothing he could do to change it, and he could not be present to sparkling sit on earth and attempt to run an army. There simply was no way for it.

The seeker did feel some pride for his human sparkling though, because she had survived on her own with nothing to her name. That was no small task, even for a Cybertronian youngling.

After inspecting the full enclosure, Starscream gently placed the tiny girl down in the corner on the tarp.

Alexis instantly curled into herself, shivering at the lack of warmth previously emitted by Starscream's frame. The seeker scowled slightly and picked up the larger covering, a soft blanket of sorts, and haphazardly placed it over the girl. He watched as she pulled the covering closer to her small frame and vented softly, her form relaxing.

Starscream watched her for a brief klick before ducking back out of the building, his spark and processor more conflicted than ever.


	17. Chapter 17

**AN:**

 **Hello all! I come bearing another update for my eager readers! Enjoy some fluff on my behalf? *grins* For those who want to read a little further than fluff; in this chapter we see a lot of Alexis's mental state regarding both the past/present and physical/mental abuse she's faced from her father and how the reactions she has are very much reminiscent of that aspect of her past. Even if she can't remember it. Fun stuff, right?**

 **To himlove22:** _That is the question isn't it? Hehehe…_

 **To lizy2000:** _No problem! I hope you enjoy this lighter hearted chapter filled with underlying tension and hidden agendas… Wait. What? XD_

 **To SunnySides:** _You ask and you shall receive my faithful readers! This chapter is a sort of pause between everything that's been happening in Starscream's life. Enjoy!_

 **And now, without further delay, I will let you get to the chapter!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

* * *

 **Always**

" _The clock is always ticking  
Bitterness grows by the minute  
Why can't we realize  
The wounds that we're inflicting  
On our own flesh  
It isn't healing  
By keeping love inside"_

 _-Plumb, Bittersweet_

 **Chapter Seventeen**

Alexis woke up slowly, stretching slightly with a yawn before curling back up into a comfortable position. Then she realized something very strange from the way she normally woke up.

She wasn't cold.

Much more than that, she felt warm.

The change didn't really bother her all that much in her still half asleep state. All she wanted to do was stay just where she was and enjoy soaking in the rare sense of warmth and comfort. But then she remembered that she hadn't been sleeping before.

Alexis's eyes snapped open and she bolted upright.

 _Starscream!_

Starscream had come back.

Alexis instantly began looking around for him, her face crumpling when she didn't find him sitting in the room like he usually was. Her heart sank.

Had she just imagined it then?

It wouldn't have been the first time she had done so. She often dreamt of Starscream. In fact, all her dreams were either of him or another woman. She didn't know who the woman was though. She was blonde, like she was, and in her dreams she was always scared and always running away.

Alexis tended to think it must be herself, just a strange older version.

She was always _so terrified_ and Alexis never got far enough in the dream to figure out _why._

But thinking about that didn't help her right now.

She had been so sure it was real. It felt real.

Alexis gathered up her blanket and pushed it aside as she got up and straightened her oversized hoodie before going outside to investigate. Maybe she hadn't been dreaming, maybe the seeker had just gone outside. The girl took a deep breath, steeling herself for what she may or may not find and stepped outside.

That breath was quickly released with a slump of her shoulders when she rounded the side of the building and found Starscream standing in the clearing.

She gasped happily

So she hadn't been dreaming!

As she drew closer, Alexis could hear him talking to someone. He was not very happy either, if his tone of voice was anything to go by. The girl shrunk into the shadows lining the side of the building, listening carefully to the conversation. She could only hear Starscream's side of it and she didn't understand the context of most of it, but she understood enough.

/ _Yes, I know I said I'd be back and I will get there when I finish taking care of business here./_ Starscream rumbled with frustration, not bothering to hide his annoyance.

There was a long pause.

/ _I already told you TC, I don't know why you insist on asking the same questions repeatedly!_ / A shorter pause. / _No, I am not hiding anything!/_ He stated defensively.

/ _I don't give a slag what the other Decepticons think! Okay, fine! Tell them to prep the ship; I will be there in three joors. Starscream out!/_

Starscream was silent for a long time after that, so Alexis figured that he was probably done talking to whoever it was he was talking to. Still, she didn't feel like it was the best time to approach him.

The small girl squeaked and ducked behind a pile of rock when Starscream suddenly whirled and punched through a wall of the building closest to him with a roar.

Alexis started to go to him, but Bumblebee's voice in her head made her hesitate. The yellow mech had said that Decepticons were the bad guys, and from what she had just heard she could only assume that Starscream at least worked with them.

She bit her lip indecisively as she watched Starscream vent heavily and rest his forehead on the cement building in front of him.

Swallowing her doubts with determination, Alexis stepped forward from where she had secluded herself after his sudden outburst. She didn't care what the yellow mech had told her, she didn't know him; she knew Starscream and she knew he wouldn't hurt her.

She just felt it, deep inside, that she was safe with him.

"Starscream?" Alexis asked softly, questioningly.

The seeker jumped and had his null rays charged and aimed at her in an instant, before he even knew what he was doing. Alexis flinched and shrunk into herself, but didn't move.

Starscream's spark whirled rapidly at his actions, and he quickly straightened up and discharged his weapons. He almost couldn't look at her, his spark burning because of how close he had come to blowing her off the face of the planet.

"Don't. ever. sneak up. on me. like that. Again." Starscream bit out darkly, his voice deep and scratchy and clearly a warning sign.

Alexis chewed on her lip again and ducked her head, her hair obscuring her face. "'m sorry. I didn' mean too."

Starscream's spark softened, focusing on the girl instead of berating himself for his reflexes. "Just." The seeker vented and scrubbed a servo over his faceplates, "Just don't do it again."

Alexis nodded, trying to keep her knees from giving out from underneath her. She hadn't meant to make him angry.

Starscream didn't know what to do, so he instead chose to give the human sparkling a klick to collect herself. A few moments later after she had scrubbed her face on her ill-fitting coverings, she slowly sidled up to him, glancing at him every few seconds to make sure that he knew where she was.

Starscream watched her carefully as she moved, really looking at her for the first time since he had returned.

The yellow filaments on her helm were pulled back into a messy bundle at the back of her head and her skin was paler then he remembered, with dark bags framing her optics. What caught him most off guard were the hollows in her face that clearly showed how underweight she was.

She was a nothing but a pale shadow of what a sparkling should be.

And yet, the way her brown optics lit up at the sight of him…

He simply could not explain what he felt.

The seeker had no way to understand why she could look at him with such… Awe? Admiration? Fear?

Or perhaps it was a mix of everything. Starscream wouldn't know.

Eventually the girl came up to his pede, standing there awkwardly -insecurely, like she didn't know what to do next now that she was there.

Alexis shifted slightly, pulling at her hoodie nervously and glancing up at Starscream. Her neck craned and the small girl suddenly realized just how huge the seeker was in comparison to her. It was somewhat terrifying to think that this being was standing right next to her and that she had its full attention.

"What are you looking at fleshling?!" Starscream snapped irritably.

Alexis hadn't even realized she was staring at him and snapped her gaze back down to the ground. She chewed on her lip for a minute before speaking, her eyes still firmly locked on her feet.

"I'm sorry for hitting you. I dinn't mean it."

Starscream optics narrowed, carefully observing how the human sparkling was acting. If he didn't know better he would think that she expected some kind of punishment for her actions. It was laughable almost. Did she really believe that she could cause him harm?

He nearly did laugh, but after a second look at the sparkling he found his spark softening. She was being entirely sincere in her apologizing for her actions.

Instead he scoffed lightly, "You'd be surprised how much of a beating I can take scraplet."

Alexis made a face, "So, you're okay?"

The question lent itself to much more than just the events of that cycle, but Starscream answered all the same with a low growl that could almost be called an affirmative response. Sort of.

It seemed to be enough for the fleshy sparkling though.

Starscream stayed silent for a long moment trying to ignore the sparkling and the way his spark urged him to pull her close. A brisk wind whistled past his wings and Starscream vented, looking down at the girl bundled up at his pedes and shivering in the rapidly cooling evening air.

The seeker vented heavily and crouched lightly, his hydraulics hissing and drawing Alexis's attention when he placed his open servo in front of the small girl.

Alexis hesitated for half a second, furtively glancing up at the mech in front of her before grinning slightly and clambering into his hand and latching onto his thumb as he raised her up to his level.

The rapid movement took the air right out of her lungs and left her dizzy and breathless, but thrilled all the same. She couldn't help the massive grin on her face when the wind started whipping her hair around wildly from how high up she was. She loved every moment of it!

This had been the first time she had ever actually been able to take in just how high up she was when she was with Starscream.

Except for that one time that she fell off of Starscream's back.

Alexis sucked in a deep breath and looked over the view, clinging tightly to Starscream's thumb. It was still just as dull and barren as it was on the ground, but she could see all of it and could even recognize the places she knew. The sun hadn't started setting yet, but it was sinking low enough in the sky to cast heavy shadows over the ruins that accented the sharp ledges of the rubble.

Starscream found himself watching her awe, how her wide optics soaked up everything she saw with nothing but sheer amazement. There was no judgement or disgust in the way she overlooked the ruined city -just captivated awe at the expanse.

It was quite enthralling in itself.

A particularly strong gust of wind nearly sent the girl flying off his servo, the air catching on her clothes and pushing her backwards.

Alexis yelped and scrambled on her hands and knees to hide behind the curl of Starscream's clawed fingers where the wind was mostly blocked. Despite her face being pale with fright, her cheeks were a rosy pink tinge as she leaned on his fingers and looked up at him.

Starscream blinked down at her, his spark still thrumming frantically at her close fall.

Alexis smiled up at him slightly, her brown eyes completely trusting before away as she started playing with her hair.

"Who were you talking to before?" She asked abruptly as she fiddled with a blonde strand around her fingers.

Starscream's optics narrowed at the seemingly random question, but after a moment's thought decided that it really wasn't that unbelievable that she would be curious. Especially if she had been listening in. The seeker's engine rumbled deeply, he would have to be more cautious of that in the future.

"A friend." He replied simply as he turned and began walking back to the alcove.

Alexis swallowed thickly at his answer. A friend?

Her heart sunk as she processed this. Did that mean Starscream was a Decepticon too? Alexis didn't know what to think.

Bumblebee had told her that Decepticons were the bad guys. Did that make Starscream a bad guy?

The steady rise and fall of Starscream's hand while he walked came to a stop and Alexis realized that Starscream was watching her closely. Alexis felt her heart speed up slightly before she swallowed and met his gaze, trying hard to keep her voice from wavering.

"Starscream?"

The seeker's crimson optics locked onto her, "What now, scraplet?"

"W-what's a 'ceptcon?"

Starscream's crimson optics narrowed as he quickly interpreted the meaning of her words, the seeker not at all liking the direction the conversation was taking. Still, he supposed she deserved an answer even if it was a cryptic one.

"The Decepticons are many, not just one." Starscream paused, thinking of how the Decepticons had been before Megatron had warped it into his personal vendetta. "They stand for freedom from those who would enslave them and will fight for that freedom no matter the cost."

Alexis didn't hesitate in her next question. She needed to know the truth, even if she didn't know what she would do with it afterwards.

"Are you a 'ceptcon, Starscream?"

There was a short lull where Starscream stopped walking as he approached the partly demolished where the girl had made her sanctuary. The seeker scowled darkly, wondering where all these questions had suddenly come from. Curiosity was one thing, but these questions of hers seemed far too pointed to be a coincidence.

"What I want to know is where all these questions come from, fleshling?" Starscream prompted, his tone dark and gravelly. He decided to avoid correcting her pronunciation in favor of distracting from the topic.

Alexis froze, not knowing how to respond. Would he be mad at her if he knew about Bumblebee? She ran away from him yes, but that didn't mean he wasn't nice to her. She didn't know what Starscream would do if he found out about the yellow mech.

"I-um -I was just curious." The small girl stated nervously, her fingers wrapping around her hair and twisting anxiously.

"Do not lie to me human. I have told too many deceptions to be so easily fooled by a child's." Starscream hissed warningly and Alexis had to steel herself to keep from shuddering at how cold his voice was.

"I… I met someone…" Alexis said quietly, her face down turned so that he almost couldn't hear her. "…when you were gone."

Starscream's spark whirled rapidly and his processes took a rather violent turn. Who else had been here!? If someone knew of the girl, then it was highly likely that they could be lying in wait and that this location was compromised.

"When did this happen?" Starscream's voice was strained as he tried to stay calm and rational.

His grip tightened fractionally and Alexis shrunk into herself when she felt the tension through her position on Starscream's hand -making her appear that much smaller and more vulnerable.

"It was 'couple days after you left… He was nice to me and gave me food." The small girl mumbled, adding the second part to try and diffuse Starscream's anger. Because he was angry, she could tell. Not at her.

But still very angry.

"You were in contact with another human?!" The seeker bit out in disbelief.

"No!" she snapped back instantly.

Alexis paled slightly at the change in Starscream's expression; what had been an angry burning in his optics had gone completely cold. There was no indication of any emotion, just a terrible blank slate, and somehow that was a thousand times worse than anything Alexis had seen of Starscream before.

"Who." Starscream demanded tonelessly.

The girl froze and didn't respond, turning her head away. Starscream's grip tightened around her so that she was pinned inside his fist and forced to look him straight in the eyes. She whimpered slightly at the glint in his optics when he spoke next.

"You will tell me one way or another scraplet - _Who. Was. It?_ " The seeker's voice never raised, but it made the small girl cringe at the tone behind it.

She caved instantly.

"Bumblebee! He said his name was Bumblebee!" Alexis cried, her voice wavering as she felt the pressure around her ribs increase. She wasn't afraid of Starscream hurting her, but she was scared of who he would hurt instead of her.

"Why was he here! Did you tell him anything about me?" The seeker demanded further, urgently.

"I… I, NO! I don't know!" Alexis shouted frantically and starting to cry, "I ran away from him because I wa' scared he woul' take me away."

She had wanted to stay here in case he came back. Those were the words she was unable to speak.

Starscream's spark throbbed and whirled in agitation and he relaxed his grip on the girl, allowing her to slide down into the flat of his servo and curl up into a small ball. His anger was far from diffused, but he could not deal with it while _she_ was around.

His crimson optics softened just the slightest at the sight of her wet and patchy face plates and he fought the guilt starting to burn through his spark. He had hurt her.

"I need to do a patrol." He didn't know why he felt like he needed to tell her, but he did.

Dumping her somewhat abruptly on the ground, Starscream fired up his thrusters and transformed right there and took off in flurry of dust and debris.

Alexis barely had time to take in what he said before he was gone and she was rubbing the dust out of her eyes. She wasn't crying out of fear or frustration. Nope. She wasn't.

The only thing keeping her from breaking down was the barely noticeable white trail in the sky slowly circling above the city. He wasn't leaving her again -at least not yet.

The small girl pawed at the dust in her eyes for a few minutes longer, trying to keep her eyes from watering and keep Starscream's jet-stream in sight. She needed to get higher up. Alexis quickly looked around and then took off towards the sloping outcropping leading to the top of the ruins she called home.

From there she could see far more of the open sky seeing as most buildings left in the city were not much taller then the one she now perched on. It still wasn't as high up as when she was being held by Starscream though.

Alexis sat down shakily on the edge of the building, her feet hanging of the edge and swaying gently. She had a lot of things to think about just then.

Starscream was a Decepticon, she knew that much at least. Bumblebee had told her he was an Autobot and from the way Starscream had reacted she could only assume that that meant they were enemies. She just didn't know who was supposed to be the good guys anymore.

Autobots, Decepticons, she didn't know enough of either side to really tell the difference.

It was all just so confusing to her!

But then, it didn't really matter she supposed.

Alexis sat up just the slightest at the realization. It didn't matter. Not really. Starscream was the one who came back for her, not Bumblebee. Starscream had saved her from the explosion and made her a safe place to stay. Bumblebee hadn't.

 _Starscream._

Alexis sighed heavily and looked back up to the small white trail in the sky. It was still there, slowly moving in a circle around the expanse of the city.

She hoped that meant he was coming back.

Alexis sniffled and took a deep breath to steady herself and settled down to wait. It was late into the evening and the wind was starting to pick up, so she tucked herself behind a small outcrop on the roof where she could still see Starscream's trails.

And then she waited.

And waited.

...And waited.

At some point she had gone back down into the building to grab some water and a blanket to fend off the chill. After the sky had started going dark it had gotten so that she couldn't see Starscream's jet-streams anymore. Around the same time she had started noticing a tightness in her chest like what she had felt before Starscream had come back.

It wasn't quite the same or near as bad as it had been before, but it was there.

Alexis rubbed lightly at her chest and snuggled deeper into the blanket she had brought up to the roof. She had brought her flashlight as well, just in case.

It seemed like hours and hours passed with every minute after the sun had set.

The small girl began to doze, her head falling and rising with jerky movements as she tried to stay awake. It wasn't long before she fell into a fitful sleep, curled up on the top of the building, still waiting for Starscream.

She woke after an indeterminate amount to time to the sound of thruster burn and the smell of hot metal. Too unfocused to really be able to register said signs at first, Alexis stood up with her blanket draped over her shoulders and her flashlight held tightly in her hands.

Fumbling with the switch until she was able to turn it on, Alexis shone the pale yellow beam over the side of the building until it reflected off of metal plating.

The small girl scrubbed the sleep from her face as Starscream turned to face her, his burning crimson optics landing on her and lighting the rooftop with a faint red hue.

"Starscream?" She asked hesitantly, unsure what his mood would be by now. She hoped he wouldn't be angry anymore. He was much nicer when he wasn't so upset with everything.

She couldn't understand what he was dealing with.

Starscream's optics widened by a fraction. He had expected her to be inside, asleep, as a sparkling should be this time of night.

"Starscream, please don't be upset anymore." Alexis pleaded earnestly. "I promise I won't ever talk to anyone else without your permission. Please?" She promised, making an offering of sorts. A compromise.

She felt like this was a familiar thing for her, she was good at thinking of compromises, although she didn't exactly know why. All she knew, is that if she didn't want Starscream to be angry she had to do something for him. It just made the most sense to her.

Starscream watched her closely, searching her face carefully for something, anything that would let him be able to lash out at her and be rid of her presence and the nuisance she was in his life.

He found none.

His spark writhed and fought against him at such thoughts. She was entirely sincere and meant what she said as much as any sparkling could. And for reasons he could not explain, she was trying to assuage him by offering her promises.

"Agreed." Starscream stated softly, trying not to hiss as his vocals scratched in the silence of the night. He would forever hate Megatron for nearly taking his voice from him.

The seeker looked over the sparkling shivering underneath her blanket on the rooftop and his optics softened. He ran a brief scan over her and frowned when her vitals registered at a lower temperature than normal. Slaggin' fleshy humans and their frail systems.

He held out his servo and made a slight gesture, "Get over here, scraplet, before you freeze to death." He ordered roughly.

Alexis looked slightly surprised, but moved quickly and scrambled into his servo -latching onto a digit when he moved to duck inside the alcove.

Starscream's spark thrummed warmly with contentment at her proximity and the lingering tension that had been in his frame for the duration of his flight instantly released.

Once inside the building, he went to place her down in her corner but felt wary of doing so. Swearing half-sparkedly at himself for being so weak, Starscream settled against as wall with her cupped to his spark like he had not so long ago when he was here last.

Alexis shifted closer against his servo and breathed deeply, quickly falling back into sleep.

Starscream's digits curled slightly, protectively, around her tiny frame and the seeker vented. What had his primus forsaken spark gotten him into now?


	18. Chapter 18

**AN:**

 **Hey everyone! Sorry for such a late update. My life has recently turned upside down in so many directions I can't even begin to describe how busy I've been. I recently started at University, so now pretty much all my time is being eaten up with classes and studying. On top of that, I have no place to live right now and no job. Thankfully my parents are still willing to put up with me, but it's been a nightmare trying to get things sorted out.**

 **So yeah, thanks for your patience guys. I hope that this chapter was worth the wait!**

 **To himelove22:** _Thanks for the review! I'm glad that you're enjoying the story!_

 **To SunnySides:** _Ahh, thanks so much! I always hate filler chapters so I was trying to have something that was still enjoyable to read, so I'm really glad I managed to pull it off. The Autobots won't be a big part of this story for a while longer. Be patient though, they will be showing up here and there!_

 **To lizy2000:** _Thanks so much for the review! I hope you enjoy this update just as much!_

 **Lots and lots of fluff and angst in this update and as always reviews are always welcome and extremely appreciated! I haven't been getting very many lately so on top of everything else in RL right now I've been struggling to find motivation to write. Thanks and enjoy!**

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 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

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 **Always**

" _Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life."_

 _-Merle Shain_

 **Chapter Eighteen**

Alexis woke up all at once, something that had become a habit in her recent time alone. She didn't move at first, taking a moment to enjoy the thrumming warmth being emitted by her surroundings. Sitting up slowly and pulling her matted hair out of her face, the small girl stretched slowly to loosen the tightness in her back. She had found that the scars on her back made moving somewhat painful if she didn't stretch them every day.

She tried not to think much of it. It wasn't like she had even been able to see them; all she knew was how they felt and that was bad enough.

Her first reaction was to look for Starscream.

It was no different from how she woke up every morning, except for this time she actually expected him to be there.

It took her just a moment to realize where exactly she was being held.

Alexis gaped openly for half a minute before a wide smile enveloped her face and she scooted up closer to Starscream's chest and leaned up against the apparent source of warmth. The radiating heat coming from the mech holding her, combined with the comforting folds of her blanket was nearly enough to seduce her back into a sleep-like state.

Starscream didn't seem to be awake yet, so the small girl had no qualms taking the opportunity to huddle close to the only one who had ever been there for her.

She could understand that Starscream wasn't necessarily a kind person and that he probably was part of the bad guys. That didn't mean that he was a bad person though. At least not in her eyes.

In her eyes he was her guardian angel. Her protector.

And even though that view might have been drawn a bit optimistically in the past, Alexis still trusted Starscream. She felt safer with him than anywhere else.

It actually didn't make much sense to her. This strange connection that seemed to pull her closer to the seeker. But that didn't bother the young girl all that much at the moment because just then she was probably the closest she had ever been to Starscream.

Alexis wiggled slightly and rested her head on Starscream's chest behind her with a long sigh.

"I can tell that you are awake, scraplet." Starscream rumbled lowly and Alexis tensed slightly as she felt more than heard his words.

The seeker didn't move, but his optics onlined with a bright red gleam as he tilted his helm down to look at the human sparkling in his servo. She had gone very still for a brief moment before relaxing back into her former position.

Alexis groaned lowly in complaint as he shifted his servo around her, hoping to draw out the inevitable for as long as possible.

She could feel the low vibrations coming from behind his armour and even though she had no idea what the sound actually was, she felt its warmth and didn't want to move away.

Starscream vented iritatedly but did nothing to stop the child. He was too busy trying to comprehend what his spark was doing and it was tying his processor up in knots. It couldn't be possible... Could it?

Primus, it was making his helm hurt to try and explain it.

The seeker's engine rumbled quietly in distress as he cursed his own spark and his weakness that wound him up in this situation in the first place.

Alexis noticed the change in the thrumming coming from Starscream's chest and glanced up at the seeker's faceplates. He was obvioiusly thinking of something and it did not seem to be very pleasant.

The small girl stood, tripping slightly on the wad of blanket draped around her ankles and pressed her hands up against his chest where the thrumming was the strongest. Almost instantly she had his attention.

She swallowed thickly and smiled a tiny smile up at the massive mech.

"What's that sound?" She asked softly, trying to distract him from whatever it was he was thinking so hard about. "The one in here." She tapped lightly on the metal in front of her to explain when he looked confused.

The girl's tapping was hardly noticable to the massive mech, the sensors in his plating not nearly sensitive enough to register much more than a faint presence, but he got the message behind her query.

"That is my spark." Starscream stated. His wretched spark that refused to be anything other than the nuisance that gave him life.

Alexis's face scrunched up, "What's a spark?" she asked, clearly not understanding.

The seeker vented, the hot burst of air stirring the yellow filaments on the human's helm. "It is what gives my kind life, similar to your heart." he responded, quickly able to find the human equivalent with brief search on the world wide web.

"Oh." she whispered, a concentrated expression on her face.

He wasn't sure why he bothered to explain it to her, other than that she had asked. He supposed that there was no reason to deny her curiousity when it came to the irrelevant questions the sparkling would ask.

"It... It sounds... zappy?" Alexis asked after a few moment listening closely to Starscream's 'spark'.

The seeker nearly chuckled at that and had to stop himself, scowling at the reaction. It had been a long time since he'd been around anyone who was so curious, questioning everything about the word around them. In the decepticon ranks you didn't question anything; you followed orders. It was refreshing in a way, making him think of his days in the academy.

"Sparks are not physical like our bodies." Starscream began, trying to push back the memories he had no desire to reflect upon. "They are pure energy, much like what you know of stars." He explained, putting it as simply aas he could for the sparkling to understand.

However he had no idea how he had changed the concept by explaining it in such a way to the young girl.

Alexis gaped, her eyes wide as she looked at Starscream in a whole new light. Her imagination was running wild with this new information and the memories of how she had once thought of the seeker as a guardian angel of sorts.

Was the idea really that far off if his life source was that of a star's?

He might be an alien, but what if that wasn't so different from an angel?

Alexis suddenly felt very small, and not so much in the physical sense. She would always feel small around Starscream, but now she felt smaller in a different sense. She looked away abruptly and kept her eyes locked on her feet.

Starscream watched her carefully with a sickening feeling in his spark, recognizing the behaviour almost instantly. It was the reaction he was used to seeing in the mech's serving under Megatron.

Normally he might have revelled in the power of having another being in such a position, but now it made him feel physically ill and it stirred up a strange fire in his spark. He did not enjoy seeing the same behavior in his sparkling.

Gently, Starscream placed a taloned digit under Alexis's head and brought her face up to look at his. She had no other option but to follow his movements and meet his burning gaze. She tried to look away but a sharp tug of his finger quickly dissuaded her from such ideas.

"Look at me, scraplet." He stated roughly and Alexis had no choice but to look up.

When she looked at him she couldn't help but feel like he was dissapointed in her.

She didn't understand why.

Starscream vented, struggling to swallow what he was about to say next. It wasn't in his nature to dissuade people of their delusions, especially where he was concerned.

"Listen to me now, because I will only say this once. My kind are not gods, as much as some might think we are." Starscream paused, knowing that he was included in that statement. "Humans, Cybertronians -we are all mortal."

Alexis' eyes widened at his words and Starscream watched them sink in by how the light in her eyes changed from fear and awe into understanding. He hadn't liked the way she had looked at him before, as if he was some kind of perfect and divine being.

She couldn't have been farther from the truth.

Starscream gently moved his digit from under her helm and let her look away. She was silent for a long moment, but he let her be for the time being.

He was no divine being. He was just a mech. Albeit a very motivated and extremely intelligent mech of royal energon, he was still just a mech. As must as he hated to admit it.

Megatron had made the mistake of thinking he was a god and ultimately his pride was the cause of his fall. Starscream had no intention of following in his former leader's pedes. No, he knew his limits and was smart enough to work around them.

"Starscream?"

The seeker glanced back down at the sparkling in his servo that had called his name.

"Can… I-I still want you to be my guardian." Alexis hesitated slightly, "If you want." She added quickly when she saw his face.

The seeker reeled backwards, not able process her words properly while his spark was fritzing the way it was. His spark knew though, somehow it picked up on her words faster than he could process them, and was frantically twisting in elation.

But before he could even begin to formulate a response to what she had asked, a sharp gasp and a sudden blip on his scanners alerted him to a presence other than the wide eyed sparkling in his servo. His crimson optics instantly snapped in the direction that the human was looking and snarled.

"Wait here. Do. Not. Move." Starscream ordered darkly, his tone dead serious.

Alexis squeaked slightly as he placed her down on the blue tarp in the corner and nodded silently, her eyes never moving from the far entrance of the alcove. She quickly curled up into a small ball and wrapped her arms around her knees, watching Starscream closely as he stepped towards the entrance with a lethal grace.

In one fluid movement and brief series of clashes, the seeker had pounced and pinned another mech to the far wall with a null ray pointed in his face.

It took a few klicks to register whose face he was pointing his null rays at.

" **Barricade?!"** He snarled in his native tongue.

The black and white mech's lips curled, **"No, it's Bumblebee."** He replied dryly, his tone scathing as he swatted the gun away from his faceplates.

Starscream snarled at his impudence, but backed off enough to let the mech recover. He was too furious to even begin to deal with Barricade's attitude right now.

" **What the frag do you think you are doing here?"** Starscream asked the mech, nearly spitting on him in his thinly veiled rage. **"I explicitly ordered you to return to the Nemesis!"**

Barricade wasted no time in playing his cards. He had been warned that the seeker would be temperamental, but had been instructed on how to deflect the mech's ire so that he got out alive. The former enforcer had had no qualms with the plan.

 **"Thundercracker had instructed me to keep tabs on your location, my** _ **Lord**_ **."** It was difficult to keep the scorn out of his vocalizer, but he managed. Mostly.

Starscream's optics narrowed at his brother's designation. Of course Thundercracker would send someone to check in on him. He supposed it was better that he sent someone else rather than coming himself -at least that way there was someone he could trust back on the Nemesis to keep an optic on things.

Still...

 **"My brother is not who gives you orders, scout."** Starscream hissed coldly, " **You are not to act on anyone's authority save mine. Does that compute?"**

Barricade stiffened, a low snarl building in the back of his throat even as he grudgingly submitted. For the moment. **"Understood!"**

The black and white mech's optics flickered downwards catching sight of movement near Starscream's pedes. That was odd. He could've sworn he'd just seen a human... But that couldn't be. Starscream had no tolerance for the squishy fleshbags that inhabited this planet.

Alexis breath caught in her throat as she ducked back behind Starscream's foot.

She had crept up behind Starscream while they were talking because she had been curious about this other mech. Except. She couldn't understand a word they were saying. She couldn't actually tell if they were even using words. It just sounded like a lot of clicking and chirping to her.

But she had still been curious of the other mech, so she had taken advantage of the opportunity to get closer unnoticed.

Except that Starscream had gone and shifted his foot just enough that she had to move to keep from being stepped on and in the process the black and white mech had seen her.

The small girl's heart pounded rapidly in her ears as she clutched the side of Starscream's foot, standing on a small lip of metal and clinging to another protruding piece higher up. Maybe if she just stayed there long enough the other mech would forget about her?

No such luck.

Starscream shifted slightly, having felt the sparkling on his pedes awhile ago. The slagging fleshling didn't have any idea what she was doing and now he had to try and keep Barricade off her scent.

 **"There is an insect on your pede."** Barricade stated coolly, his optics locked onto where he had seen the movement even as his servo transformed into a blaster.

Starscream's optics narrowed and he shifted again to angled the sparkling out of the scout's view. The movement did not go unnoticed the by former enforcer. **"You really must allow Hook to check your optics if you think that a pathetic fleshling would survive these ruins this long."** The seeker mocked scathingly despite how fast his spark was whirling.

Barricade scoffed sharply, **"You really must have your processors checked if you think me fool enough to believe you aren't hiding something, my** _ **leige**_ **."** He bit back, his tone bordering on disrespect.

Alexis stiffened from behind Starscream's foot, feeling the tension growing between the two mechs. She was sure the other had seen her, and Starscream seemed to be trying to hide her the best he could.

The small girl chewed her lip, she should have just listened to Starscream and then she wouldn't have been seen by the other strange mech.

 **"What I am or am not hiding does not concern you, scout. Deactivate your weapons and stand down."** Starscream ordered, his posture slipping into an slightly agressive stance as his wings angled upwards.

The seeker's spark flared protectively when Barricade refused to back down and Starscream's engines revved threateningly.

Barricade's optics narrowed at how Starscream was responding and slowly stepped back, transforming his blaster back to his servo.

 **"Fine. Have it your way."** Barricade snarled lowly, his lips curling. **"But mark my words Starscream, secrets such as yours have a nasty habit of getting squished."**

The seeker's wings flicked sharply at the threat, but otherwise Starscream showed no reaction.

Having said his piece, Barricade swiftly stepped out of the building and the sound of transformation could be heard before the thundering rumble of his engines echoed in the scout's wake.

Leaving a very silent Starscream and Alexis behind.

Eventually Starscream's wings flicked down to a more neutral position and he sighed, "You can let go of my pede now, scraplet."

Alexis was briefly confused by the strange term, but let go of her death grip on Starscream's foot and walked around to his front. She knew she was in trouble.

"I'm sorry for letting him see me." She started quietly, but Starscream stopped her before she could finish.

"What was the last thing I told you?" He asked sharply, staring right at her with those blood red optics.

Alexis couldn't hold his gaze. "Not to move." She mumbled, trying to hold back tears.

"And what did you do?" Starscream prompted further.

He ignored the painful way that his spark was twisting at how the sparkling was shrinking into herself, knowing full well the effect his words were having on her. That didn't mean he would let up. He couldn't; not until he got his point across -not until he was absolutely positive she understood.

She had to learn that he expected obedience. The sooner she learned it, the longer she would live.

As it was, Starscream was certain that Barricade suspected -if he didn't already know. The seeker was only just able to deflect him that cycle; next cycle he might not be so easily dissuaded.

"I moved f-from w-where…" Alexis choked on a sob and turned her face away in shame.

Starscream's spark ached to be causing her this turmoil, but his processes were set. "By disobeying me you put yourself in danger and present a weakness that others can take advantage of!" Starscream paused abruptly, his voice having raised itself without him noticing. "You will not defy me again; do you understand?" He continued sternly, but his tone was more controlled then it was before.

"Y-yes, Starscream." She hiccoughed, struggling in vain to pull herself together by telling herself that she deserved it for going behind Starscream's back, both figuratively and literally.

It wasn't working.

The seeker's spark finally won over at her watery acknowledgement and he crouched down with a light hiss of hydraulics. He held out his servo to gently tilt the sparkling's head to face him similarly to how he had earlier that cycle.

"Listen scraplet," He stated, trying to word what he wanted to express without sounding like a bumbling fool. He couldn't think of a way to do so.

Instead he scooped up the human sparkling in one swift motion and brought her up to the plating covering his spark chamber. If there was any sort of bond between them, however unlikely and however much he might have tried to deny it, then this would prove it.

What he could not say in words, his spark would -if the human could understand it.

Alexis struggled for the first two seconds of the abrupt motion, feeling a flash of irritation at being picked up like some kind of doll, before settling down into the curve of Starscream's hand and the warmth of his spark. Secretly though, she loved the attention and sought out the physical touch of the only one who had ever showed that they even remotely cared for her.

But it was more than warmth that seeped over her skin and through her bones, Alexis realized abruptly.

The small human girl closed her eyes and pressed her head closer into Starscream's plating, listening to the low rhythm of his spark. It seemed to crackle and thrum louder at her presence, but she quickly dismissed the thought. Still, there was something, something she just couldn't quite pick up on just yet. It was like a word she couldn't remember but was on the tip of her tongue.

Still, as she listened closely with her eyes closed and her body pressed as close to Starscream's as she could get, she couldn't help but feel the strong sense of protection, of possession, towards her.

It was odd.

Alexis sat up straight and blinked, looking up towards Starscream in confusion.

He had a similar look on his faceplates, but there was not nearly so much awe as was present on hers. His expression was more one of shock, dread almost. For him it was a confirmation of something he couldn't explain.

"Did you do that?" Alexis asked, her eyes locking onto his crimson optics.

In a movement hardly enough to be considered a nod, Starscream made his reply.

Clearly, she had felt his presence and he, almost imperceptibly, had felt hers. He had to focus to find her, but she was there -a tiny wisp of a bond that he never expected to find.

It was like no other bond Starscream had ever experienced or heard of, but it was there nonetheless. It was weak, dampened almost and seemed to be mostly one way on his half -but it was there. Somehow, inexplicably, he had formed a bond with this squishy human his spark had claimed as his sparkling.

There was no ignoring it anymore.


	19. Chapter 19

**AN:**

 **Hey everyone!**

 **I am just absolutely shocked by how much attention the last chapter got, I am seriously overwhelmed by your responses. You guys are all the most amazing readers I could hope to have! Because of this I decided an extra-long chapter and a quicker update was definitely in order! I hope you all enjoy this one as much as I did!**

 **To TatteredAngel42:** Haha! That's the sole purpose of my life as an author! I am sooo glad you are enjoying the story as much as I enjoy writing it. Alexis is my favorite child and Starscream will always be a glorious protective aft when it comes to anything to do with his sparkling. This chapter will tear you apart I'm sure! *promptly ducks into a bunker*

 **To himelove22:** *grins* Your guess isn't quite what happens, but I can assure you that Barricade will be around for awhile… As for Skywarp, he's coming rest assured, but not for several chapters yet. Enjoy!

 **To lizy2000:** Yes, last chapter's revelation was a long time in coming. I'm glad you liked it!

 **To ryannea . reed:** Thanks for reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter just as much!

 **To icanhascamaro:** Is this your first time reviewing? If so, thanks so much! I am super glad that you find this story appealing! And you're not wrong about something big coming… You'll just have to keep reading!

 **To SunnySides:** Haha yep, I was really glad to finally have them recognize their bond! Here's a quicker update, so enjoy!

 **And I also want to give an extra huge shout out to** **Purest of the Hearts** **who reviewed Every. Single. Chapter. To date. You are amazing and it's amazing to see how your thoughts flow from chapter to chapter!**

 **Now that that's done, enjoy the angst! And don't forget to keep reviewing -your thoughts mean a whole heck of a lot to me!**

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 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

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 **Always**

" _My body moves, goes where I will_

 _But though I try my heart stays still_

 _It never moves, just won't be led…_

… _You're always in my head"_

 _-Coldplay, 'Always in my Head'_

 **Chapter Nineteen**

Things were quiet between the two beings for a long while.

Alexis was still struggling to understand what had just happened and was finding it hard to just wait for comprehension to come. She wanted to ask questions, to poke and prod until she knew just exactly had gone down between her and Starscream.

But she didn't.

Instead she stayed quiet, basking in the ever present warmth coming from the seeker behind her. The warmth was something she wasn't willing to leave just yet in her pursuit for answers. Not after fighting the cold ache in her chest for so long.

Alexis fidgeted with her hands, pulling at her fingers. Then fiddling with the ends of her hair, chewing her fingernails, wiggling her toes…

"Cease your fidgeting!" Starscream barked suddenly, his crimson optics narrowing down at her. His tone was sharp, but it held no true ire.

Alexis attempted to smile sheepishly at him, "Sorry."

She very studiously went back to sitting silently. And tried very hard not to move.

Seconds ticked by and Alexis felt very conscious of her every movement.

Her nose itched.

The small girl ever so slowly craned her head upwards to look at Starscream only to snap her head back down painfully when she realized that he had been watching her. Alexis had to close her eyes to keep them from watering at the abrupt motion.

Her face turned red and she slid down slightly and tried to bury herself in her hoodie.

There was a low rumble from behind her, coming deep from within Starscream's chassis.

The seeker had been watching her curiously since their recent discovery, pondering things quietly while she sat in his servo.

He was tired of trying to deny it any longer; it was a losing battle against his spark that he had no intention to keep fighting. He was smarter than that.

Starcream vented lowly, trying to keep his processors from fritzing out on him. One thing at a time, he told himself as he struggled to keep his servos from clenching. His spark thrummed contentedly, seeming to mock his processors for trying to find reason where there was none.

Very little was known about the true nature of sparks before the war; even less was known now.

The seeker shuttered his optics and looked back down at the tiny girl in his servo. She was looking at him, her wide brown optics contemplative before she noticed he was watching her and snapped her gaze back downwards.

The human sparkling seemed to be unable to stay still for any length of time, Starscream noticed with some amount of humor. Somehow, despite all that was going on in his processor, watching her made his spark feel lighter. He wasn't entirely sure how to classify how he felt about it.

Before he even realized it, a low chuckle had rumbled through his chassis at her actions.

"Don't laugh at me!" Alexis protested vehemently, her face turning an even brigher shade of red.

Starscream's optics landed on her, a flicker of amusement hidden well behind expressionless facepates. "I do not laugh." He stated coldly. And it was the truth. He had not truely laughed in many, many vorns.

The small girl's face scrunched up as she looked at him sternly, "You were!" She stated firmly.

The seeker rolled his optics at the tenacious human sparkling when she placed her tiny hands on her hips and stared at him. The effect was only slightly ruined by the gurgling of her stomach.

Starscream instantly had a scan running over her and it quickly registered to him that her tanks, or the human equivalent, were empty. No surprise really and that knowledge made his spark ache, but it was amusing how it seemed to embarrass the human. He chuckled again, this time more willingly.

She turned scarlet when another low rumble vibrated across Starscream's plating and his lips twitched upwards into an amused smirk. "You're still laughing at me!" She shrieked in embarrasment and wrapped her arms around her middle as if to block out the hollow noises it made.

Alexis huffed when Starscream did nothing to apologize. Not that she honestly expected it -Starscream did not seem like the type to say sorry.

On the inside though, despite her red face, she was very happy. Happier then she had been in awhile, when she had been alone. There was a lightness, a warmth she felt on the inside and it made her feel content. It didn't seem to matter what else was going on, she didn't have to worry about it when Starscream was around.

She looked up at him expectantly.

Starscream vented shortly once he realized what it was she was waiting for.

"Go refuel, scraplet. I'm not going anywhere."

The human smiled brightly once given permission - _as well as reassurance-_ and scrambled down Starscream's side with the uncoordinated grace of a sparkling before heading towards a pile of goods around the corner.

Starscream's optics followed her until he couldn't see her and then his sensors picked up where his vision had left off.

The seeker vented heavily to himself, scrubbing a servo over his faceplates and pressing two digits to his temple. His helm ached. He couldn't stay here and look after her.

Frag that, he wouldn't know how to even if he tried. What business did a high ranking 'Con have taking care of a human sparkling?

 _None_.

Nothing had changed.

He still couldn't take her with him to the Nemesis. He had no way of protecting her or providing for her on the ship whilst also performing his duties as leader. But he was loathe to leave her to the mercies of the wild. His spark roiled in its casing before he could even consider leaving her under the care of another.

But it also seemed to be his only option at the moment.

Starscream's denta ground together at the thought as he opened a comm.

 _/Barricade. Report!/_

The commline went through with a burst of static, but no response. Starscream growled lowly, knowing that the scout was playing with him. He knew the former enforcer was listening, waiting for him to continue.

/ _Barricade report back to my previous location immediately./_ Starscream ordered tersely, his tone very clearly indicating that he did not have the patience to deal with this right now.

A burst of static signaling the other end of the line had been accessed let Starscream know that he had been heard.

There was a dry vent, _/And why should I waste my energon at your beck and call, Starscream?/_ Barricade questioned bluntly.

Starscream gritted his denta together, his sensors telling him that the sparkling had started coming back around the corner. / _Because… I need a favor./_ He hissed, his glyphs tight and close together.

The seeker could practically feel the scout considering the options given him. Because there were several. A favor was a tricky thing to ask among Decepticons. Much of it weighed heavily on your rank and how well others thought you carried through with threats.

For anyone being asked of a favor by none other than Starscream was a huge risk on their end. If they accepted, then Starscream technically owed them -something that had been proven to backfire on more than one mech in the past. If they declined, then Starscream would find other, less pleasant ways to get them to do what he wanted. So it was a bad choice either way.

It was always amusing to guess how a mech might choose, and Starscream always guessed right.

/ _Primus slaggit Starscream... Fine, I'll be there within a groon._ / Barricade spat, clearly unhappy with him. Not that Starscream blamed him.

/ _Wise decision, my friend._ / The seeker stated cordially, but was cut of sharply by several rude glyphs roughly equivalent to a 'frag you' before Barricade disconnected the comline.

Starscream scowled darkly as his optics slowly lit back up now that his focus was back on his surroundings.

A soft, persistent tapping on his side alerted him to the human sparkling's presence on his leg.

"Starscream?" The tapping became more frantic, "Starscream! Wake up!" Alexis cried, desperately trying to get him to respond and starting to get panicked when he didn't.

The seeker's optics fully onlined with a flash of crimson as he looked down at her. He could almost sense her panic and fear, but he couldn't tell if it was because of the bond or if he had just started paying attention to her fleshy face enough to actually be able to read her emotions.

"Enough of this scraplet." Starscream stated sharply, but his vocals failed to express the warmth he meant to convey and instead scratched harshly -making his tone easily mistaken.

Starscream's spark whirled tensely, burning with the waves of emotion flowing off of the human girl and not knowing what to do about it. The seeker couldn't help but think ironically that this was probably the first time his spark and processors were in sync on where the sparkling was concerned.

Alexis's eyes welled up, "I- I thought… you -you…" her voice broke and she swallowed thickly. She thought he was dead! She had come back with a can of food and he was just sitting there and his optics wouldn't light up and he wasn't moving and… and…

She had panicked.

And now Starscream was upset with her again and she didn't know why.

She never seemed to know why he was upset with her.

Starscream's optics widened, understanding slowly dawning on the clueless seeker. She had thought… Oh. Of course the human wouldn't understand how comlinks worked, or much of anything else when it came to Cybertronians for that matter.

No wonder she was so upset.

Awkwardly, Starscream shifted his servo to rub a digit up and down her back. It was something he would sometimes do for Skywarp many, many vorns ago, when the younger seeker had been distressed over something or other. It was… different attempting the technique on a human child, but it seemed to be working.

"I'm fine scraplet, I was just… talking to someone." Starscream attempted to explain, straining his vocoder to retain some form of softness in his tone.

Alexis looked up at him with puffy eyes, not really understanding. "…in your head?" She asked, almost incredulously if not for that she was still crying.

How would talking to someone in his head make him look like… like he had died? It didn't make sense to the small girl.

Starscream vented long-sufferingly. He should have known that a simple explanation would not suffice, not for this sparkling.

"Yes, in my head." Starscream said using the human term for sake of keeping things as concise as possible. "It's called a comlink, I can use it to talk to anyone else like me as long as I have their ID string. When I am using it, my optics will go dark because I am focusing on talking."

Alexis's eyes widened in awe, "So you have a telephone in your head?!" She asked excitedly, just to clarify.

Starscream nodded slowly, his optics glinting brightly at her reaction.

The girl beamed up at him, tears long forgotten with this new discovery. "That's so cool!"

The seeker's spark buzzed happily and Starscream could almost let himself get swept away in the feeling. But he still fought it. Sparkling or not, he could not afford to lose his wits. Not now, now ever. Not in his line of work.

" _Who_ were you talkin' to?" Alexis asked suddenly, surprising him with question.

Starscream's optics darkened, "Our friend from earlier is coming back to properly introduce himself." He told her, his tone brooding.

He didn't like it. He hadn't liked it when he had organized it in the first place and he was beginning to like it less the more time he had to think about it. But there was no going back now, and Starscream tended to avoid doubting himself.

He had made the decision and he could only go through with it at this point.

Alexis shrunk down into Starscream's side, very nearly wedging her tiny body behind the plates of armor that covered his abdomen. Why was the other mean mech coming back? She had thought that Starscream had sent him away. Was it her fault? Was he coming back because he had seen her?

" _Why?_ " She whispered hesitantly, so quietly that she wasn't sure that Starscream could even hear her.

The seeker vented heavily, subconsciously making sure that the movement didn't disturb the sparkling clinging to his armor. "Because I asked him to." He responded simply.

He tried to ignore the sharp feeling of betrayal that echoed through the whisp of a bond he had with her.

Alexis didn't understand, she thought that Starscream didn't like that other mech. Why would he ask someone he didn't like to come back? The small girl suddenly felt a wash of warmth flood through her chest, warmth and reassurance.

She frowned at the emotions that were not her own. No. She did not feel reassured, she felt betrayed and frustrated that Starscream wouldn't explain things to her the way she wanted! She pushed back harshly and swallowed thickly when the warmth retreated and a cold tinge lingered in her chest.

Starscream reset his optics at the blocked end of the bond, struggling to keep from reeling backwards from the backlash in his writhing spark.

The seeker cycled several deep vents to steady himself as the fragile, one sided bond slowly reopened. The human sparkling had no experience with bonds and probably didn't even realize what it was that she had done. He was thankful she didn't have the stamina to keep the barely formed connection closed.

He didn't enjoy the feeling.

"Scraplet," Starscream started, the tension in his vocals grating in the air, "You need to understand that I cannot stay here."

Alexis looked up at him, brown eyes glaring with hurt, but she still gave him her full attention. Even if she hated what he had to say.

"But you -you came back… Just to leave?" The small girl asked softly, her voice strained from the number of emotions she was trying to hold in.

Starscream's jaw clenched with his spark, "You would not be safe if I remained."

"But I don't want to be alone!" Alexis wailed, pleading with him. Not understanding, just knowing that she _needed_ him.

"You won't be." The seeker stated cryptically, carefully, almost tenderly caressing the human sparkling's cheek with a razor edged talon.

His optics narrowed sharply when a ping registered on his HUD, alerting him to Barricade's nearby presence. He went to move the sparkling to somewhere hidden, but was surprised to find that she had already moved from his possession and into a darkened corner.

She had already seen Barricade arrive.

"If you are going to approach, do so like a mech and stop hiding in the shadows." Starscream growled lowly over his shoulder bolt, his back turned to the deception scout.

" **Why the slag should I listen to you when you speak in** _ **their**_ **tongue?"** Barricade bit back coldly in Cybertronix even as he moved out of the outcropping where he had been.

"Because of what I have to show you." Starscream replied, his wings twitching into a slightly more aggressive posture. Barricade was silent at that response and Starscream turned to face him, revealing the tiny human girl standing timidly in the corner behind the seeker. " _Alexis,_ " He said, the human name sounding strange to him because of how little as he used it to refer to the scraplet. "I want you to meet Barricade, my main scout."

Alexis glanced upwards at Starscream, trying to see his faceplates and clue in on whether or not she was supposed to do anything. Barricade eyed her warily and she returned the gesture, glancing once more at the towering seeker.

Feeling exposed, Alexis scrabbled over to Starscream's pede and tucked herself in behind him, peeking around the limb to look at the other mech.

He had red optics much like Starscream, although they were more orange than her guardian's crimson ones. He was sharp and pointy with black and white paint and only came up to Starscream's chest plates.

Alexis shrunk back when she accidently locked eyes with this other mech, Barricade.

Her heart pounded loudly in her chest when Starscream shifted just enough so that she couldn't hide behind his pedes.

The small girl squeaked at the motion and found herself staring up at Barricade. She had no idea where the other mech had come from or how he had moved that fast, but he was suddenly crouched right in front of her.

"So this is the squishy you were hiding." The mech rumbled deeply, precisely. "Curious."

Alexis swallowed thickly and briefly attempted a hesitant smile, "…H-hi, I'm 'Lexis." Her words were rushed and soft spoken, but she didn't run back to Starscream.

Barricade grinned broadly, the expression all sharp teeth and not at all reassuring. The human squishy's breath caught in her chest but she stood her ground, knowing that Starscream wouldn't let this mech touch her.

The black and white mech smirked, the expression much more genuine as he stood to his full height. "Kid's got more bearings than most, 'Screamer." He chuckled darkly, "Where'd you find her?"

"Don't call me that." Starscream hissed, "She survived the destruction of the city." He answered shortly, not wanting to go into the full details of everything that had happened in that time period. He still had questions he needed to answer concerning what he had found, and he wasn't wont to share what he knew until he was positive of what he had seen.

"Need you to watch after her." Starscream started coolly, jumping in without hesitation. "I cannot keep her around and the Autobots are bound to notice activity in this area eventually."

Barricade snorted derisively, "So you want me to sparkling sit the fleshling while you gallivant around playing at being leader of the Decepticons?"

"You will not speak with such disrespect if you are of a mind to keep your helm attached to your frame!" Starscream snarled viciously, snapping free of his detached façade.

Alexis gasped sharply at Starscream's tone, brown eyes wide as she stood stock still in the wake of the words echoing off the walls.

Barricade snarled lightly, but his doorwings lowered in submission. The Decepticon scout then chuckled lightly, "You obviously have done a excellent job keeping the squishy in the dark. She has no idea what you really are, does she?" He taunted, pushing his limits.

 **"Enough!"** Starscream barked harshly in Cybertronix before consciously returning to English. "Will you or will you not look after the girl?"

Barricade ground his denta for a few klicks, looking the fleshling up and down -trying to find what it was that Starscream saw in her worth keeping alive.

Alexis met the other mech's eyes hesitantly, her own emotions clear as day on her squishy faceplates. She was waiting for his answer just as much as the seeker.

"Fine. I'll do it, but you owe me for this one 'Screamer." Barricade stated, not liking how it almost felt like he was giving in -and not to Starscream.

Starscream scoffed, "I owe you nothing, _scout_ , and you would be wise to remember that." He continued after a silent staredown with the black and white mech, "I expect you to continue your duties in scouting for any sign of the Autobots, while also ensuring that your presence in this sector is unsuspected. Compute?"

"Yes, my Lord." Barricade bit out coldy, knowing that there would be reprecussions if he did not address the Decepticon Leader properly when receiving orders. Any other time Barricade refused to use the seeker's self-given title.

The seeker smirked darkly, as if knowing the scout's very thoughts. However, any desires he might have had to torment the mech further came to a stop when Starscream felt the slight pressure of the sparkling leaning into his pede.

"You are dismissed, Barricade. Scout the perimeter until further notice." Starscream dismissed the black and white mech absently.

The sudden change in the seeker's behavior did not go unnoticed by Barricade, neither the focus of his leader's attentions.

His optics narrowed into scarlet slits, but he grunted in affirmation and moved towards the exit anyways. There was something... _strange_ , about the way Starscream acted around the human. It was certainly something he would have to investigate further at a later date. For now, he had reached his tolerance for dealing with Starscream for the orn.

Perhaps the fleshling would be able to give him an in on the seeker, depending on just how much she knew.

Alexis's brown optics followed Barricade out of the alcove warily before she turned her focus back to Starscream, craning her neck to look up at him from her position at his pede.

"Starscream?" She asked softly and Starscream could see that she was starting to tire from the events of the cycle. "Why do you have to go?"

The seeker vented and sat down in a smooth motion. He had hardly settled before the sparkling started scaling the side of his thrusters and clambered up to his chassis. His spark simultaneously warmed and ached that he had to leave.

"I have other responsibilities that are of great importance to me." He started slowly, his vocals rasping gently.

That didn't change the fact that all Alexis heard from his words was that those responsibilities were of _greater_ importance to him than she was. And it hurt.

"He -Barricade, he called you Lord." Alexis stated, moving on from her own thoughts. She should be used to being less important by now. "What'd he mean?"

Now it was Starscream's turn to try and redirect his thoughts, "I am the leader among my faction and the title is an acknowlegment of it."

"The D'ceptcons?" Alexis asked to clarify things in her own head.

"Yes, the Decepticons, Scraplet." Starscream corrected cooly.

Alexis nodded absently, her thoughts flying through her head with this piece of information. She had known that Starscream had been a Decepticon, but she hadn't known that he was their leader. If they were the bad guys and their leader was her guardian; what did that make her?

She didn't know.

She shook her head slightly. She had already decided that it didn't matter, she reminded herself. She didn't know enough to say who was good and who wasn't. All that mattered was that Starscream looked after her.

Right?

Starscream, sensing her doubts but not placing where they had come from, pressed a digit to her fragile frame and stroked it gently up and down her struts as he had before. The human sparkling's body sagged at his touch and he smirked.

"Scraplet, look at me. I may not be able to stay, but know this," Starscream stated solemnly, telling the bitter truth as it was, "I will _never_ be able to _not_ care for you." He paused, almost scoffing at the irony of what was supposed to be a comfort for the sparkling. "Do you understand?"

Alexis smiled a tiny, confused -but trusting smile and nodded. Her soft brown eyes spoke more understanding than anything she could say. She was silent for a few moment longer, tracing random patterns into the smooth metal where she sat on Starscream's leg.

"Is Barricade gonna look after me while your gone?" She asked suddenly, looking up at Starscream's faceplates.

"Yes."

"I don't think he likes me." Alexis pointed out astutely.

Starscream's optics narrowed, "He will not harm you." He told her. He would make sure Barricade knew death was a relief compared to what he would do to him if he so much as laid a claw to her helm.

Alexis almost looked skeptical, but then she rememebered the threat that Starscream had made earlier and thought better of it. She didn't know if he would really do such a thing, but she didn't entirely believe he _wouldn't_. The girl shuddered slightly.

"Will you come back?" She asked seriously, finally getting to the question she really wanted to ask.

Starscream didn't answer immediately, his optics staring at nothing while he continued to firmly stroke the girl's back. He already knew what his spark's answer would be, he just didn't know how to make his processors accept it. There was still a large part of him trying to deny this, this... Whatever this was that connected them.

Starscream was a mech of facts and science, even long before the war. He liked to know when things were possible and where they weren't. Having those lines gave his processors structure and something to work towards. If he knew where the boundary between possible and not, he had a goal, a line that he could cross -that science could cross.

This echo bond between him and the human was a grey area. A blurry grey smudge that shouldn't be possible.

He couldn't understand it enough to even consider calling it a line.

"I don't know." Starscream said, trying to keep the hesitation out of his voice. "I cannot promise you anything, Scraplet."

Alexis's shoulders slumped and she swallowed thickly, "Will you try?"

Starscream looked down at her and his spark whirled in distress, "I-" He stopped, really thinking about what he was saying and knowing it was true. The seeker cleared his vents harshly, "I will try." he stated firmly.

That seemed to be enough for the sparkling, even if his own spark still fought against his descision to leave in the first place.


	20. Chapter 20

**AN:**

 **Holy crap guys! 9000+ hits and nearly 100 reviews!**

 **I absolutely cannot comprehend the amount of love and attention this story has received in only 20 short chapters. Amazing. I can't get over how awesome my readers are and you have no idea how much you all mean to me. Thanks so much everyone!**

 **To sunsetwater:** Thanks so much for your reviews and kind words! You couldn't be more right about things getting interesting, although first impressions often are deceptive. You know what I mean after this chapter.

 **To TatteredAngel42:** I'm so glad that the bond between 'Lexis and Starscream is okay. I'm trying really hard to make it believable. I won't say much about your predictions about Barricade and our human sweetheart except that I _am soo sorry_. This chapter might be a little rough if you expected Barricade and Alexis to get along right away.

 **To ryannea reed:** Heh, well I'm glad you liked the chapter. This one is… well it is what it is. Enjoy!

 **To Bluebird202:** Yep! Starscream leaving seems to be a common occurrence in this story unfortunately for poor Alexis. And interesting might be mild for what happens in this chapter.

 **To Purest of the Hearts:** Hmmm, that song does kinda fit doesn't it? And your reaction to Barricade is probably to most accurate of all my reviewers. Everyone is hoping they get along and I'm just the author over here laughing and crying because nope. Not gonna happen. Anyways, enjoy this chapter!

 **To lizy2000:** Well… you'll just have to read this chapter to find out won't you?

 **To himelove22:** Yep, Barricade kinda just wrote himself into being a main part of the story. I didn't plan on him at all! I hope you enjoy this chapter!

 **To SunnySides:** It's a possibility knowing Barricade, but you'll just have to keep reading to find out! And there's some seeker fluff *cough*angst*cough* in this chapter just for you. Enjoy!

 **To Don't judge me I'm a Fangirl:** Umm… okay. Thanks I guess? XD

 **Whew, I didn't realize how many reviews the last chapter got! So freakin' awesome! I hope you all read and review this chapter as well, I love hearing what you all think. Enjoy!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

* * *

 **Always**

" _As children, were taught that the power of good triumphs over the power of evil. But as we get older, we realize that nothing is ever that simple. Traces of evil always remain."_

\- Mary Alice Young

 **Chapter Twenty**

Starscream left shortly after night fell, his spark twisting agonizingly in its chamber as he left behind a teary and subdued sparkling. The seeker's unease only grew more pronounced as he broke through the earth's atmosphere and plotted a course towards the Decepticon flagship. The same tension he had felt before returned with a vengeance, the aching pull growing with each hic he traversed.

It was pit.

He had summoned Barricade shortly after he had finished reassuring the sparkling. She trusted him, more than anyone other than his trinemates had trusted him before, but she didn't necessarily believe him. It was something Starscream had begun to notice after he had first returned.

The human girl trusted him like no one else, but she knew him well enough to not believe every word he said.

Starscream's spark twisted.

She had trusted him though, and after a brief moment of reassurance through the echo that connected them she had calmed down enough to recharge for the night before he left.

He was just relieved that she didn't pick up on his spark's own distress at leaving.

The seeker would be lying to himself if he said he didn't have his own doubts about the circumstances. He didn't like the idea of leaving her with Barricade. Starscream wasn't worried that the former enforcer would hurt her, no - he had made sure that that was _not_ an option for the mech.

Starscream couldn't actually put a reason to his concerns. He was just _concerned_.

It was distracting as pit to have weighing down his spark and prickling in the back of his processors.

The seeker shoved the feelings down by sheer force of will, concentrating on the rapidly shortening distance between himself and the Nemesis -ignoring the sharp burn of his spark in favor of hailing the Decepticon flagship.

Several breems later found a significantly more irratible Starscream in the command center with the dark shadow of his brother flanking him. Thundercracker had been, as he should have been expecting, waiting for him once he returned and had no qualms with verbally assaulting him the second he landed.

Starscream had been in no mood for it, harshly silencing the other seeker and making his way to the bridge.

Leading to the tense stalemate between the two brothers as Starscream overviewed the crew's progress in his absence.

"You mean to tell me that absolutely _nothing_ that I instructed you to do has been completed?!" Starscream very nearly shrieked, his snarling vocals scratching harshly.

"N-no m-my Lord!" Hardtop stuttered, cringing back and plating pressing close to his frame under the seekers burning gaze. "We are working as fast as we can, we just d-didn't have enough mechs to meet the d-deadline you s-set."

"Not enough mechs you say?" Starscream questioned, scoffing humorlessly. "I think," Starscream leaned closer and his vocals dropped into a dark whisper, "That perhaps the loss of one more mech might just speed up the process, hmmm?"

The seeker's talons ghosted over where the smaller mech's spark chamber would be, before roughly shoving the mech backwards into a console.

Hardtop whimpered pathetically, begging for mercy while remembering vividly how his predecessor had been disposed of.

"What was that Leuitenant? I'm afraid I didn't quite catch that -you'll have to speak up." Starscream stated casually, his tone carrying lightly despite the underlying threat.

The visored mech swallowed tightly, "T-that w-won't be nec-cesssary, m-my Lord."

Starscream hemmed disbelievingly, "Are you quite certain, Hardtop?"

The mech in question nodded rapidly, "Y-yes, Lord Starscream!"

"Then let us hope you are not mistaken in this matter. Should there be anymore mistakes I will have you _removed_ from command, does that compute?" Starscream paused, but gave no time for the other mech to respond -not that the Leuitenant seemed able to form words at that moment- before continuing.

"Hardtop, issue orders for the crew to board the ship. We will be taking off in two groons, with or without them."

Starscream turned, not paying attention the the muffled, "yessir!" from the Lieutenant, and addressed his brother with a cold look.

"Thundercracker, I want you to set coordinates for the Beta-Gamma2 wormhole and prep the ship for takeoff." Starscream ordered coolly, impersonally. Trying desperately not to show the how the slow and agonizing pull of his spark was affecting his every action.

The blue seeker's optics narrowed at his trine brother. He could tell that Starscream was hiding something easier than he could tell you the time of orn, and yet his brother insisted on trying to keep whatever this was from him. It made no sense to the older seeker and served only to put a tension between them both, but there was little he could do about it for the time being.

So instead of calling Starscream out on it, he chose to ask another question.

"And where will be be headed from there?"

The red accented seeker's optics unfocused for a moment, and his brother wonder once more on the source of his trine leader's distraction, but those crimson optics sharpened brightly into calculating slits a nanosecond later.

"Cybertron, my brother. We are returning to our home." The seeker's lip-plates quirked upwards into an expression reminiscent of vorns long past. "As we should have long before now."

Starscream paused and crimson optics landed firmly on his brother and softened marginally, "We're going to get our brother back."

* * *

Starscream was still gone when Alexis woke.

She thought that she might have dreamed him leaving the night before. Waking up only served to prove she hadn't.

It seemed to be a common occurrence, but she still felt the familiar wash of disappointment every time no matter how many times she told herself that he was coming back. Even now that she had his word that he would return she still felt it just as prominently as before.

The small girl sagged into herself, absently rubbing at her chest to try and ignore the cold chill that seemed to be slowly seeping into her lungs.

Barricade sat in the entrance to the alcove, watching her steadily.

Alexis looked away and bundled herself up tighter in her blanket, drawing her knees close to her chin. It was then that she became aware of the loud drumming of heavy rain outside. That must be why Barricade was inside, she reasoned -noting the wet rivulets of water running down the black and white mech's armor. He didn't seem particularly happy about it either.

The small girl shuffled around slightly and brought out half a granola bar she had tucked into her hoodie the day before. Chewing on it slowly, Alexis observed Barricade quietly.

He had pulled out a device of sorts and it looked very much like a gun to her. With well-practiced movements the black and white mech started taking it apart and cleaning it with a cloth that he pulled from his subspace with a subtle flick of his fingers.

Alexis watched for a long moment, captivated. Starscream's weapons had always been attached to his forearms or his hands a had turned _into_ a gun.

She tried not to remember how that he had been pointing it at her.

The small girl shivered slightly, a brisk wind whipping through the building and sending chills down her spine.

It had been getting colder lately and it rained all the time.

Alexis was smart enough to know that that meant winter was coming, despite not knowing the day or the month. She needed more blankets and food, but she couldn't look for any when the weather was like this. It was incredibly frustrating to be trapped and not have anything to do. Sometimes it got bad enough that all she wanted to do was scream and shout at the wind because she felt so helpless and alone.

She hated the feeling.

Barricade paid her no heed, simply continuing his work and pointedly ignoring her.

Alexis knew that he was ignoring her, because Starscream had told her that Cybertronian's had sensors and hearing a thousand times better than hers would ever be.

She didn't know what to do about Barricade.

Starscream had obviously told him to look after her, but it was clear that the black and white mech didn't want anything to do with her. Alexis's own feelings towards the other mech were mutual in this case; she'd much rather have Starscream.

But the small girl was lonely and if they were going to be each other's only company, then they might as well try to get along.

Quietly as possible, Alexis wrapped her blanket snugly around her shoulders and crept up to the mech, carefully avoiding the rapidly accumulating puddles of water closer to the entrance of the alcove.

Alexis prodded the mech's leg to get his attention. "Hi." She stated, waiting for his response.

Barricade glanced at her sharply, his optics landing on her the second she had touched him. His optics narrowed before he turned back to cleaning his blaster, "Frag off, squishy." He snarled lowly.

Alexis flinched at this tone, not knowing what the word meant but easily recognizing that it was decidedly not nice. That and it started with an 'F' and she vaguely remembered that meant it was bad, even if she didn't remember why.

"No." She said determinedly, "I'm cold."

Barricade's optics slid back towards the tiny fleshling, marginally surprised that she was still there. "And why should I care?" He asked darkly, not knowing why he was even bothering to make pointless conversation with the human.

The human brown optics narrowed, "Because Starscream told you to." She replied simply with a tiny tilt to her mouth.

The black and white mech's engine rumbled lowly at this. No wonder Starscream kept the slagging squishy around, she just as manipulative and twice as tenacious as the damn seeker himself.

Alexis's face fell when the mech turned and loomed over her, his optics glaring sharply at her.

"I only follow Starscream because I owe him my spark." Barricade hissed, "I do NOT take orders from a half grown fleshling who thinks they can get away with anything because Starscream thinks you make a good _pet_." He snarled viciously at the girl, not having the patience to deal with her.

The former enforcer snorted before returning to cleaning his blaster, paying no mind to the well and truly subdued fleshling standing beside him.

Alexis on the other hand, was trying desperately not to cry even though she could already feel the tears welling up in her eyes. It wasn't even the fact that Barricade had yelled at her or that he really was actually very scary and she was still feeling extremely small in comparison -although that might have been part of it- but it was what he had said about Starscream.

 _Pet?_

No, no, no… Starscream cared for her. He said so himself.

 _He had also told her that he was a liar._

Alexis refused to believe what the other mech was telling her. She had no reason to believe him.

"That's not true!" She protested suddenly. "I'm not a pet! And Starscream cares for me!"

Barricade glanced over at the clearly agitated human girl, "You honestly have no idea who Starscream is, do you?" The mech chuckled as he finished clicking the last piece of his blaster into place.

Alexis throat tightened, "I-I…" The girl struggled to find something that she did actually know about Starscream, "He's-" She thought back to all the times that Starscream had protected her, kept her safe, how he helped her to understand the things she asked him about, how that when he was there for her entirely even if he couldn't always stay long. It was then that she had her answer.

"He's my guardian!" Alexis stated firmly, stomping her foot for emphasis, her large brown eyes boldly daring Barricade to tell her she was wrong.

The black and white mech considered the tiny speck of a human in front of him. If anything she was loyal, which was surprising seeing how loyal Starscream was. He'd wait and see just how long it lasted once she started realizing what the seeker really was.

But then he noticed the words she had used.

The fleshling had claimed Starscream as her guardian -likely with no knowledge of what that meant to a Cybertronian- but ultimately the term was definitive in either culture. If Starscream had indeed accepted or made himself this human squishy's guardian, then that would make for some _interesting_ circumstances to say the least.

Barricade's optics narrowed and he frowned slightly.

If there was even the slightest chance that Starscream was the fleshling's guardian, in any way, shape or form, then that meant he was duty bound to keep the human alive. No matter how much he disliked the idea.

Because Starscream had ordered him to protect what was his and Barricade's sense of honor, twisted as it was from his cycles as an enforcer, wouldn't let him hurt another mech's charge.

Starscream, the fragger, probably had known this already and had set him up knowing that he'd figure it out sooner or later.

Barricade growled, "If Starscream is in fact your guardian, then my only concern is that you remain online. I care little beyond that." The black and white mech hissed, moving to stand upright.

He paid the human child little heed as he straightened, his hydraulics groaning as stiff cables stretched. Without a further thought, Barricade ducked out of the alcove and into the pounding rain and transformed quickly to keep his internals as dry as possible.

Leaving Alexis alone, confused, and maybe more than a little scared.

And she was still cold.

Sniffling slightly, the small girl slumped back over to the corner of the alcove where her blue tarp bedding was and seated herself forlornly in the tightest bundle of scrawny limbs and dirty bedding that she could manage. Slowly, her body warmed inside the cocoon of blankets but it did little to help the coldness seeping inside of her.

It was worse this time, she thought.

She couldn't be absolutely positive, because it had been getting colder every night as the weeks went on. Alexis was pretty sure though. There was no mistaking the numbingly cold ache that rested so heavily on top of her lungs.

It was a very distinct feeling.

One that Alexis had resigned herself to never getting used to. It wasn't one of those things you ever could, she thought. Things like the constant gnawing in her stomach or the still tender scars on her back -those things she sometimes forgot about. She had gotten used to them.

But this... This _hole_ in her chest. She didn't think she'd ever get used to that.

Alexis sat there for what seemed like hours, listening quietly to the rain and staying curled into herself to stay warm.

As the rain continued, it began to wash away the grit and debris of the roof of the alcove -causing the rain to find gaps and cracks to seep through and puddle on the floor inside with steady drips.

She considered getting up to find something to eat, but in the end she decided that she didn't want to move. There was no real motivation for her to leave the warm bundle of blankets and get up.

At some point the rain must have stopped and Alexis began to wonder if Barricade was intending to ever come back. She had every reason to doubt him, but somehow had the feeling he'd be back if only because of Starscream. The small girl didn't fully understand how things worked between the two mechs, as was clearly evidenced by her mistaken forwardness with the black and white mech earlier that day.

Alexis had assumed that since Starscream was supposed to be the leader, at least as far as she knew, that that would mean Barricade had to do as he said. Apparently, at least from Barricade's reaction, there was more to the chain of command then simply being the 'leader'. That's was she was beginning to guess, but then again she really didn't know much except for what she saw.

Still, that was a good enough basis for her. At least for the moment.

She didn't dare ask Barricade for answers. The girl guessed that if she did she would only get answers that she didn't like or couldn't trust. There was enough doubt and confusion inside her right now to go looking for more things that didn't make sense.

All she really had wanted was Starscream to stay. Or take her with him.

Alexis _needed_ him. Desperately.

He was her anchor in the crumbling world that was all she knew.

Alexis sometimes wished that she could remember what it was like before. Before everything had happened that she could only see bits and pieces of in her mind. She had started making a habit of trying to remember everything she could, cataloguing everything she _did_ remember so that she didn't forget again.

Some days it helped. The days that she remembered the good things. A distinctive whiff of perfume and a soft embrace.

Most days though her memories weren't as pleasant and she was torn between needing to remember and _wanting_ to forget whatever painful past she seemed to have before.

Those memories always were dark and aches of bruises long since healed.

Alexis jerked suddenly at the thundering roar of a high powered engine echoing through the alcove. Her breath caught in her throat; Barricade must be coming back from wherever it was that he had gone. She didn't know what to do. Part of her wanted to go and find him now that he was back, but the larger portion of her was afraid to move.

So she decided to stay where she was.

It was several long minutes before Barricade actually ducked into the alcove, his plating dripping rivulets of water down his frame. His optics were cold, narrowing sharply when they landed on Alexis, before he looked away with a snort and sat against the far wall with his back turned to the small human.

Alexis let go of the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, slumping further into the bundle of blankets until she couldn't see over the top of her cocoon.

Neither slept very well that night.


	21. Chapter 21

**AN:**

 **Okay then. Yep. This chapter.**

 **This chapter was hard to write -I fought for every word and that's why this update took forever. This chapter also picks back up on an extremely vital piece of Alexis's story that I introduced earlier and will continue to hint at in the following chapters. I'm sure you will all remember and figure it out after reading this doozy of an update.**

 **I also want to give TatteredAngel42 a huge shoutout for giving me the friendly kick in the pants that I needed to get this chapter out. You're amazing! Also… we hit over 10,000 views this week! So freaking excited! Now you know what would be even better? Fanart! I really need to get around to drawing some of my own!**

 **To TatteredAngel42:** Thanks so much for the review and your pm's! I'm glad you still enjoyed the chapter despite your failed predictions

 **To ryannea-reed:** I'm glad you liked that chapter and how I wrote Barricade! It means a ton to me **!**

 **To Sunsetwater:** Well, it looks like both reviews turned up eventually so I'll just reply to them both at once! I'm really glad that the interactions between 'Cade and dear little Alexis felt realistic and not out of character. Barricade is a little difficult for me to write, so I'm super pleased that he turned out okay. And that's pretty awesome that you've been around since the beginning! Have some energon cookies! *tosses cookies*

 **To himelove22:** Yeah, Alexis is gonna learn really fast that Barricade won't stand for that kind of attitude from her. Unfortunately, the way he deals with it mixes very badly with Alexis's ingrained reactions from her abusive childhood.

 **To Purest of the Hearts:** Hey, thanks so much for the reviews! I really appreciate your enthusiasm when it comes to the story, but could I please request that you don't swear so much? But anyways, yes, Starscream really needs to work on his social skills, doesn't he? And yep, its pretty much guaranteed that Barricade can't get away with hurting the precious child and he just has to learn to live with her.

 **To lizy2000:** Well, it won't be immediate and I wouldn't necessarily call it love… But Barricade will warm up to her eventually.

 **To Eunice Pacheco:** Aww… Don't be shy! I would bite, I swear! Thanks for the review though, I'm really glad you're enjoying the story! And it super awesome that you've been around since the beginning! *throws more cookies*

 **To icanhascamaro:** I'm pretty sure Alexis would be stunned if she knew what Starscream was up too, and not in the good way considering he doesn't restrict himself when she'd not around. Starscream hasn't changed, he's 100% Decepticon still, but Alexis is the one exception to his behavior.

 **Warnings for some scenes of gore, slight mental/psychological abuse, some other possibly triggering things - all still within the T rating though.**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

* * *

 **Always**

" _No one 'round here's good at keeping their eyes closed_

 _The sun's starting to light up when we're walking home_

 _Tired little laughs, gold-lie promises_

 _We'll always win at this_

 _I don't ever think about death_

 _It's alright if you do, it's fine"_

-Lorde, Glory and Gore

 **Chapter Twenty-One**

The next few days were long and miserable as the storm sat above the ruins and washed everything away. The two beings remained at odds with each other and a tenseness hung in the air as heavily as the dark clouds above them.

Barricade had not moved far from his position at the entrance to the alcove for the duration of the storm.

Alexis was too timid to try and slip past him, so she also had stayed cooped up in the alcove. She only really got up to eat or relieve herself. Otherwise she stayed in her corner of the building and minded her own business.

However, after nearly three days of not doing anything, the small girl's need to get out and do _something_ was nearly overpowering. She felt like she was going to go insane. She didn't know how Barricade did it. He hadn't hardly even twitched or shifted positions since he had come back two days ago. She sometimes crept around the corner to check and see if he was dead or asleep, but every time she did she would always find those scarlet optics following her.

It was unnerving to say the least.

By now though, Alexis was bored out of her mind and that tended to make a little girl's sense of fear a little less potent.

Besides, Barricade couldn't really hurt her. Not without crossing Starscream.

She tried _really_ hard to convince herself that that would be enough to keep the black and white mech from hurting her. It mostly worked.

She was too desperate to get out to care.

The rain had mostly stopped about an hour ago. It was still drizzly outside and the alcove was haunted with the constant dripping of water through the cracks in the roof, but it was clear enough to go out and that was more than enough reason for Alexis to try and push her luck.

Carefully extracting herself from the bundle of blankets, Alexis stood up quietly as she could to avoid the crinkling noise the tarp underneath her made. She winced at the crackling noise, but Barricade made no sign of noticing so she stood up straight and stretched lightly.

She made a face when the scars on her back pulled painfully. She hadn't moved enough in the last few days, so the tender skin had become very tight. It took a few minutes before the burning went away enough that she could move around freely.

Alexis swallowed, her throat tight as she peered around the corner.

She had barely even moved before Barricade's scarlet optics landed on her. Alexis looked away quickly, not having the boldness to keep eye contact after the last time she had spoken towards him. She knew now that it was not her place to challenge or question the aliens that towered several dozen feet over her. Starscream had told her that they were equal, that they were all mortals.

Alexis wasn't so sure about that.

They were still bigger and stronger and smarter than she believed she could be. And it was obvious that Barricade did not see her as equal. She understood that now, and was fine with it. It made sense. She was small, he could easily kill her with a finger.

She was used to being less, so it was second nature to defer to the submissive responses she had.

She'd never known anything different.

It was normal.

That meant it was right. _Right?_

Alexis shook herself out of her thoughts and peeked around the corner again, only to find that Barricade was no longer sitting in the entrance. The girl tilted her head -she hadn't even heard him move! Curious, and more than a little bit wary of what seemed to be the perfect chance for her to bolt, she made her way to the entrance.

She stopped briefly at her small stockpile of food to grab the slightly damp knapsack and brush it off. She didn't know how long she would be able to scavenge without Barricade finding her, so it would probably be best to be prepared in case she found a hidden stash of food she could bring home.

Huffing slightly from the excited sprint she had broken into, Alexis stepped outside of the alcove with a slight grin. Finally! She took a deep breath, smelling the musty smell of wet cement.

The girl only got to take two short steps before a wall of metal slammed itself in front of her, sending her scrambling back with a shriek as she landed heavily on her rear.

"Just where do you think you're going?"

Alexis looked upwards hesitantly, her neck craning to see all the way up to the mech's face. Cold red eyes glared back down at her.

"I-I…" The girl couldn't get the words out.

Barricade shifted impatiently, "Speak fleshling!" He demanded loudly.

Alexis whimpered and bit her lip, turning away from the towering mech.

Barricade's lip plates curled upwards in disgust. Useless human. How the frag was he supposed to keep something so small and incapable alive? The insect was going to die regardless of anything he did, so what was the point in trying?

Other than the fact that Starscream would have his helm if anything happened to the squishy.

"Searching." A small voice stated and Barricade's refocused on the tiny human at his pedes. "-need food n' water." The girl mumbled, not meeting his optics.

Barricade's optics narrowed slightly at the human's submissiveness, a stark contrast to her bold presumptions just cycles ago. "Fine." He grunted impassively.

If the human felt the need to scavenge then he wouldn't stop her. It made his job easier if the fleshling could at least provide fuel for itself -he didn't have the slightest clue what organics consumed and preferred it to stay that way.

"So I can go?" Alexis asked hesitantly, moving as if to step forward but not actually going anywhere.

"That is what I said isn't it?" Barricade rumbled irritably, growing impatient with the insect's timidity.

The girl nodded slightly, still unsure if he actually meant she could go. It was hard to tell with the black and white mech, he was much harder to read than Starscream. Either that or Starscream was just easy for her to read because of the… whatever it was that she felt when he was nearby.

It was hard to define.

Alexis wasn't sure she wanted to define it.

"Are you just going to stand there, fleshling?" Barricade hissed darkly, jolting Alexis back into the present.

Deciding that it would be better to just get moving than to try and formulate a response, the small girl shouldered her knapsack and nearly sprinted in the opposite direction of the mech.

Alexis didn't know how long she ran, she just kept running.

After being cooped up for so long during the storm, the small girl simply _had_ to keep going until her lungs burned and her sides ached and she couldn't run any further. Finding a reasonably dry place to sit and recover, Alexis took in her surroundings for the first time since the storm.

The rain had washed away everything that wasn't attached to something. All the dirt and debris had been rinsed and all that was left was the smooth cement skeletons of buildings. The air had a certain smell to it, musky and damp, but it was also fresher than the dry and stale air of before.

In some of the darker corners Alexis could see tiny sprouts of green.

The city was still in ruins, but somehow after coming out of the storm everything seemed less bleak.

Or maybe she was just really glad to be outside for the first time in almost four days.

After a while Alexis began her usual routine of scouring the ruins for anything that might be of use to her. While the rain might have cleaned out the debris from the empty and ruined buildings, the remains of the streets were coated in thick layer of mud and garbage that made it much harder for Alexis to dig around for anything. Perhaps once the moisture dried out it would be easier, she figured.

She searched for most of the day and found very little, making her very frustrated with her efforts.

Eventually Barricade found her and she went back to the alcove, the black and white mech shadowing her path from behind.

Over the next few days it became a sort of familiar pattern. Alexis would go out to search the ruins and Barricade would always be nearby -not close enough to really be noticeable, but just close enough that she would occasionally catch sight of him from the corner of her eye.

It had almost become a game of sorts as the first week passed. Alexis would try to lose Barricade and he would have to find her, like some twisted form of hide and seek. Other times Barricade would just disappear and Alexis would have to try and find him.

Usually he still found her first.

They didn't speak much really, but Barricade didn't seem quite as cold.

Or perhaps she just decided that she didn't care anymore. Either way, she found the company made the ruins feel just a little less lonely. It didn't matter that they didn't really interact aside from their games of hide and seek; he was there and Alexis found that to be enough.

The few times that they did talk weren't nearly as rough as the first few days. Alexis knew her place and made sure to stay well within those boundaries and as long as she didn't push them or try anything with Barricade then they could carry some form of conversation. It wasn't always easy to communicate smoothly; Barricade seemed to hold something against her that Alexis couldn't figure out for the life of her, but despite their differences they managed to get along.

If only just.

* * *

Beginning on the second week that Barricade had been there, Alexis woke up just before dawn and grinned. She wanted to be able to get a head start on Barricade and had been planning this for days.

She stretched silently in the dark and stealthily tip toed towards the entrance into the alcove, grabbing her knapsack from where she had left it in preparation the night before. Barricade's unmoving form sat slumped just inside the entrance, his arm resting on one raised leg and his head pressed into his shoulder. Alexis paused as she passed him, wondering how he could look so different while sleeping.

She didn't linger long though. Within the next few minutes she was several buildings away and paused to pull out a small foil sealed packet from her bag. It was hardly recognizable as granola bar, but it didn't taste any different for its misshapenness.

Alexis yawned and stretched again, not afraid to make noise now that she was a suitable distance away from the alcove.

This time she was gonna get Barricade good.

Their game had slowly evolved into a strange competition of sorts -one that Alexis was determined to win. It was still fun, but now there was an edge to the daily routine of hide and seek. It was more serious, more about wit and cunning and staying hidden in the shadows. Barricade had made it clear that he expected better from the girl.

He hadn't said so explicitly, but somewhere along the line he determined that she had to be capable of hiding and staying hidden if she was to stay alive in the ruins.

It wasn't really a game anymore then, Alexis realized somewhat abruptly. He was teaching her.

She thought back to how Starscream had said that Barricade was a scout. She wondered if Barricade was trying to teach her how to be a scout.

The girl chewed briefly on her lower lip and made a face. She would have to try and ask him later on.

He'd have to find her first though!

Alexis grinned slyly and shouldered her knapsack, making a bee-line towards what would be the perfect place for her to hide. She had found it several days ago on one of her previous explorations and committed the location to memory. It was one of the lesser destroyed areas of the city, with a few standing buildings and lots of good places to hole up in.

It was perfect.

The small girl scrambled swiftly over several mounds of rubble and debris with ease, able to quickly traverse the ruined streets with little trouble. Within a couple hours she was where she wanted to be and she just needed to decide where she was going to hide.

Wherever she hid had to be somewhere good, someplace that she could easily slip in and out of unnoticed while also being hard for Barricade to notice. Her small size often came in handy she was finding. Barricade sometimes overlooked areas he deemed too small to hide in, meaning he often underestimated Alexis's ability to squeeze into tiny areas.

It was something the girl took full advantage of.

Eventually though she found the perfect spot.

She just couldn't get to it.

Alexis growled lowly in frustration when she slid down the wall for a third time, her fingernails barely brushing to lip to the perch she wanted. The sound she made surprised her slightly, but she shrugged it off with little thought. She was far too focused on her current problem.

She was just too short!

The small girl huffed unhappily, backing up slightly to see if there was any other way to get to the cranny she wanted.

There wasn't.

Eyes narrowing slightly, Alexis threw her knapsack up onto the ledge with a soft thump and backed up once more. Readying herself slightly and taking a deep breath, the girl sprinted.

One foot on the wall, second foot following shortly after as her fingers latched onto the ledge. Her momentum allowed herself to push herself up so that her elbows were propped over the side and she slowly pulled herself up, wiggling and twisting inch by inch until she could swing her leg up and plop heavily in the shadows of the small cranny.

Once up inside she realized that what had appeared to simply be a hole in the wall actually opened up and went further inside the building. The girl cocked her head slightly -this was even better of a hiding spot than she had thought!

Pulling her knapsack securely to her side, Alexis pulled out her flashlight with a breathless grin and turned it on before walking forward slowly.

The path narrowed slightly and Alexis tripped, causing the flashlight to flicker and dim before going back to normal. She eyed the device warily, guessing that she didn't have long before the batteries died. She had used the flashlight an awful lot during the big storms when it got so dark she couldn't see her hands in front of her.

The thought crossed her mind that this might be a foolish thing to be doing, especially since it was wasting the precious remaining light of her only flashlight, but she ignored it. She was too caught up in the thrill of exploring to be concerned with whether or not it was a good idea.

After several meters the narrow path opened up into what looked like an office building. By the dim light of her torch she could see desks and paper everywhere, and the place reeked of something she couldn't label.

Alexis gagged at the smell and pulled her hoodie up to cover her nose and mouth. The smell permeated everything and only got worse the further inside she went.

Alexis though back to when she had found a drowned rat in the alcove. It smelled similar to that, except a thousand times stronger.

The small girl suddenly wasn't so sure about continuing any further.

Her footsteps echoed softly as she turned around and looked for where she had come in. The flashlight grasped firmly in her sweaty hands flickered once more, going out entirely for half a second before coming back dimly.

Alexis swallowed thickly and tried not to panic. Her footsteps picked up faster as she searched frantically for the exit, desperately hoping that she'd find it before the flashlight died entirely.

And then she tripped on something soft and the smell suddenly was too much to bear.

Alexis turned around to try and find what she tripped on and instantly wished she hadn't. Her shrill screams echoed at a deafening pitch when she realized what it was she was looking at.

It was a body. Or what used to be a body. All that was left was decaying flesh and bone at this point, hence the smell currently choking the terrified girl. The rotten corpse was hardly recognizable as human, but the outstretched arm she tripped on was evidence enough. The figure appeared to have been pinned beneath a large beam and died there trapped and alone.

She couldn't stop screaming.

Her flashlight dimmed slowly and Alexis scrambled to her feet and tore through the building, finding the exit right where it should have been all along just as the flashlight died.

She couldn't breathe, her tears of terror making her lungs seem to shrink up as she hyperventilated. Alexis didn't even care how loud she was crying or what she sounded like as she sprinted as far away as she could before her legs gave out.

And then she cried and choked, the gruesome images burning themselves into her vison so that it was all she could see. Every part of her being was screaming with a sense of terror she couldn't make sense of.

Alexis abruptly stopped in her crying and vomited violently to the side, what little food she'd eaten earlier coming to the surface. Even when there was nothing left to purge, the small girl coughed and gagged harshly.

Her throat was too raw to do much more than whimper by the time she was done.

She stumbled a small distance further before giving up and wrapping her arms around her legs, her ragged fingernails digging sharply into her skin.

She didn't know how much time passed before Barricade found her curled up in a distraught heap in the middle of the ruins. She had run out of tears to cry and was just sitting there numbly when he crouched down next to her, his expression unreadable.

Barricade didn't say much, a low rumble of his engines being the only sound he made before scooping her up in his servo and turning to walk back to the alcove. He might not have known exactly what she had seen, but he knew well enough what secrets ruins like these hid.

It was no place for a sparkling, human or otherwise.

The black and white mech ran a brief scan over the area, just to confirm that there was nothing he should be concerned by. His scans came back with nothing, although his suspicions were on point when the data acknowledged several large masses of decay in this area.

Barricade glanced down at the unmoving fleshling curled loosely in his servo and his optics narrowed into scarlet slits, his expression steely.

No, no sparkling should ever have to live among the bodies of their own dead.


	22. Chapter 22

**AN:**

 **Hey all, please take the time to listen to Paramore's song 'Future' while reading this chapter. It's a longer song, but the words and tone of it really line up with what Alexis is feeling in this chapter. Seriously, listen to it while reading this chapter! I honestly probably listened to it over fifty times while writing this chapter.**

 **Also, hooray for passing all my exams! Even if it meant not working on this story for a few weeks while I studied. Hopefully this chapter makes up for it!**

 **Oh and small time skip ahead as well!**

 **To LaurenA007:** Thank you for reviewing! Hopefully you enjoy this chapter!

 **To BarricadesDemon216:** Thank you thank you thank you for your review! I struggle so much trying to keep the Decepticons well and truly Decepticon while still showing that they are living beings with diverse emotions. Especially where Starscream is concerned. And Barricade was difficult because I had no idea how to write him in the first place and there was nothing else to go off of because, like you said, everyone always makes him an instant good guy or sympathy case. Hopefully this chapter still keeps them all in character!

 **To sherry1995:** Not a problem! Hope you enjoy this chapter!

 **To Guest:** Thanks for the review! You'll get to see what happens in this chapter!

 **To Sunsetwater:** Not to worry my friend, this will most certainly be touched upon in the future. Although that might actually be the cause of worry, so how bout you just wait and see? *laughs nervously* And yes! I really need to make some fanart!

 **To ryannea reed: H** aha, yep that's kinda how it went down isn't it? I won't say this chapter is any better, but its less trauma and more learning how to live with it.

 **To TatteredAngel42:** Aww… Thanks so much for the kind words! I had a hard time trying to adequately describe what Alexis saw and how turbulent her emotions and reactions would be. She's a nine-year-old girl for crying out loud, and it's been awhile since I was nine, not to mention I never had to go through everything else she has. The Autobots will be making an appearance, soon. Hehe, just wait for it. And writing Starscream and TC has been great, just wait until the next chapter!

 **To Purest of the Hearts:** Haha yep, don't worry that revelation will come soon enough. And yes, I thought that it was necessary to really make a point that she is living alone, in the ruins of a city, and dead things are very much a reality. I hope you enjoy this chapter! And I very much appreciate the effort with language, I know it's easy to get excited!

 **To Eunice Pacheco:** Yep, Alexis certainly will be affected heavily by this, as you will see in this chapter. And I do really love barricades subtle ways of helping teach Alexis to survive. Enjoy the update!

 **To SunnySides:** No to worry it wasn't her mom's! I was pretty sure that I said the body was a mans, but I might have missed it. And like I mentioned above, Barricade teaching Alexis 'hide and seek' is my favorite part of their relationship! And the knowledge will certainly be useful in the future for Alexis. I hope you enjoy the update!

 **To lizy2000:** Thanks! I hope you enjoy this update.

 **To Don't judge me I'm a Fangirl:** Nope, the body wasn't her moms! I'm not that mean! I have plans for her still. And yes, Barricades warming up slowly but surely. I hope you enjoy this chapter!

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

* * *

 **Always**

 _"So, I'm writing the future,_

 _I'm leaving a key here._

 _Something won't always be missing,_

 _You won't always feel empty."_

 _-Paramore 'Future'_

 **Chapter Twenty-Two**

Barricade ducked back into the alcove with the human girl cupped loosely in his servo just as the sky let loose another volley of lightning. It was only halfway through the planet's cycle, but the dark clouds looming overhead made the day seem darker and that much shorter. The rain followed shortly after the thunder and the black and white mech was grateful that he didn't have to walk in the wet.

Alexis stirred a little in his servo, whimpering slightly, but otherwise made no movement.

She wasn't crying anymore. She didn't have any tears left to cry. And she wasn't falling asleep like she usually did from the stress. She wished she could.

She was just numb.

The little girl didn't believe she could feel anything even if she wanted to at that moment.

It was a good thing then that she didn't want to feel.

Barricade's engine rumbled quietly and he set the girl down in her designated pile of tarps before sitting across from her and leaning against the wall. Watching her. Considering just how painfully similar she was to him.

The former enforcer shook his helm at the comparison.

There was no need for such sentiment. He didn't need it. She didn't need it. No one needed to remember those days.

This human child, for all that she had endured, knew nothing of what he had had to survive in the early days of the war and Barricade intended on keeping it that way.

The former enforcer sat there for what seemed like orns, but also like no time had passed at all. The girl never moved, seeming to have fallen into a fitful sleep after laying there quietly for nearly a joor. He watched her for a long time, waiting to see if she would wake from her whatever terrors haunted her mind, but she didn't.

From the way she cried in her recharge Barricade wondered if waking her would be a better alternative than letting her continue as she was.

However, he made no move to do so.

After awhile it seemed like she had calmed down slightly and Barricade diverted his attentions to running an in-depth systems scan. He hadn't ever been able to get proper repairs after the Mission City battle, so he had had to make do with what he had and the small amount of repairs Thundercracker had been able to help him with.

Barricade didn't think long on the seeker's strange offer to help him. Thundercracker had always been a curious exception to your normal Decepticon and the mech was surprised that he'd lasted as long in the war as he had. He was intimidating enough, being that he was a large seeker frame, but he was quiet and he was pretty certain he had seen the mech letting neutrals escape in several raids back on Cybertron. No one ever mentioned it though. Barricade supposed it had something to do with being the second in command's trine mate.

The mech continued the diagnostic scans without much further thought on the matter.

After about a groon the scan finished with little to no change from his previous scan. While neither good or necessarily bad, it left Barricade in a substantially fouler mood.

He'd never been particularly caring of his appearance or the state of his frame. There was no place for it within the Decepticon army, nor had Barricade ever been bothered to look well kept. As long as his frame worked and everything was functional he saw no need for it.

However, there was a certain point at which all the minor bits and pieces of repairs that Barricade never cared to have taken care of built up to the point that a mech couldn't function.

It seemed that Barricade had finally reached that point.

The former enforcer pushed the myriad of warnings and bold red glyphs from his vision with a low snarl. The aches and pains in his frame were that of a mech far older than his few thousand vorns and it was entirely his own fault.

He would have said that he didn't have time to deal with it right now, but then again… he was trapped on an alien planet with orders not to leave his post on threat of death.

So that meant he had plenty of time to deal with it.

And no way to effectively perform his own repairs.

The black and white mech was rudely distracted by a shrill cry from the fleshling in the corner. Barricade's optics narrowed into slits as they focused on the human girl's distraught trembling. Her squishy face was scrunched up into an expression of unseeing terror and she shrieked again, her limbs jerking wildly.

Red optics widened slightly and his lips pressed together.

The small girl jerked again, this time whimpering quietly in distress.

Barricade reached forward slightly and nudged the girl with a sharp digit to try and get her to stop. He couldn't focus with her making such pitiful noises.

The human flinched at his touch and went alarmingly silent. Barricade pulled back pensively and waited a moment for her to start acting up again, but the girl stayed quiet. Deciding that her silence was better than the whimpering from before, Barricade went back to picking at his bracer and the delicate wiring underneath.

Barely even a breem later and a shrill shriek very nearly made Barricade nick an energon line as he jolted, not that he'd ever admit it, in shock at the sudden sound.

The black and white mech took a nanosecond to check himself and straighten his ruffled plating before turning his full attention the to small quivering lump of human in the corner. He watched her carefully for a long moment, taking in her movements as whatever terror haunted her played itself out in her mind.

Then she began speaking in her sleep and Barricade's curiosity was piqued.

"Please no, I didn' ment to!"

Cybertronians did not dream like humans did, nor did they speak in their recharge. For them night terrors were not so much figments of warped memory as they were direct playbacks from their databanks. In some ways it was a blessing, not to have their memories warped in such ways as the human imagination did.

In other ways it was just as much of a curse. There was no reassurance or comfort taken in saying it wasn't real, because for them it was. Every moment any Cybertronian dreamed it was taken directly from something that had happened in their lives.

It was always real and it felt the same every time.

So in a way, Barricade might have been envious, even if only for a brief moment.

"I'm sowry… I'm sowry! Please stop, its hurts!" the human girl whimpered quietly, tears leaking through closed optics.

That moment was quickly disregarded in the wake of the human's own terror. It was not a pretty sight and Barricade was suddenly very glad that he had never been so subject to his own mind in such a way.

Seeing the girl quivering and seeing the cold sweat beading up on the human's skin did bring some doubt into Barricade's mind about leaving her be. Surely waking the girl would be a better alternative to listening to her whimper and cry for groons on end.

So Barricade carefully reached forward once more to prod the girl, this time not easing back when the human flinched way from his digits and continue to shake the girl into consciousness. He was not gentle but the girl remained asleep. Barricade swore under his breath and prodded the girl harder,

"Slagging fleshy, wake up already!"

She screamed her most agonizing scream yet – the sound of pure abject terror, sitting straight up unseeingly. It was a sound Barricade was used to hearing, used to inflicting on other mechs. But hearing it from this human child, the fleshling Starscream had inexplicably claimed as his sparkling, somehow struck him as immensely wrong and he had no desire to hear it again.

"Fleshling!" Barricade barked, trying to get her attention and wake her fully from whatever nightmare was haunting her even after she was awake.

The was a short pause as the girl blinked the tears from her optics and looked around, her gaze landing on the almost concerned looking Barricade crouched over the top of her.

"B-Barricade?" Alexis asked, her voice trembling ever so slightly.

The present terror of her nightmare was fading slowly, but it lingered heavily in the back of her mind - lurking in the darkness with memories she didn't fully remember.

Without having the full presence of mind she reached forward and latched firmly onto the black and white mech's digit, pressing her face against the warm metal and squeezing her eyes shut.

"What the frag? Ge'rroff fleshy!" Barricade pulled back and shook his servo roughly to dislodge the human girl practically glued to his digit.

However, his attempts were to little avail as Alexis remain firmly attached.

"N-nnoooooo." Alexis moaned lowly, her words muffled by Barricade's digit. "I stay. Please?"

Barricade's optics narrowed at her mumbled request, analyzing her actions with a part of his processor. She seemed to be momentarily regressed into a much more dependent state of mind. He knew of young mechs and mechlings who regressed after certain triggers or trauma, but he was completely unequipped to deal with it himself.

His engine rumbled lowly and he relented with a scowl, bringing his servo awkwardly so that the girl wouldn't slip off and go squish on the cement floor. He didn't know what to do next.

Alexis shifted as he moved and crawled into the smooth curve of his servo, hugging his thumb tightly.

She didn't care that this was Barricade, the mech who clearly didn't like her and who had been mean to her multiple times. He had brought her back to the alcove after….

The girl shuddered, tangled blond strands falling limply in front of her eyes. She didn't want to think about it. Alexis wished she could just forget every thing that she had seen and have things go back the way they were.

Because things were suddenly very different than they were before and Alexis didn't like it. She had an acute realization that this was not just an adventure where she would be rescued and have a happy ever after. She knew that now.

There was no more pretending like she used to.

She was alone in the ruins of her city. She was the only human left alive and no one would ever come back for her or even knew that she was alive.

All she had were the aliens, Decepticons from Cybertron, to look after her.

And maybe, just maybe, that would be enough.

* * *

Three months later found Alexis and Barricade with a working relationship of sorts.

They kept up their games, but there was always a stronger sense of urgency in how they played. It wasn't a game any longer and they both knew it despite never addressing it verbally. Barricade never was very far from her side, Alexis found. She didn't question it.

In fact, she found it very reassuring – if a little frustrating at times.

Sometimes she wanted a bit of privacy to herself, even though Barricade had insisted that Cybertronians had no concept of nakedness, at least the way that humans did, much the way that Starscream had long before.

She missed Starscream.

She sometimes asked Barricade when Starscream would come back or if the mech had heard anything from her guardian.

She stopped asking after a couple weeks of getting the same grumbled response.

Nights had become colder. Cold enough that she could find a thin coating of frost on the ground whenever she went out early enough. Her blankets weren't good enough to keep her warm anymore and she had eventually gotten to the point where she would scramble up Barricade's armor at night and curl into a small gap between his shoulder and chassis where it was warm from his body heat.

It only took a few nights of that before Barricade made the effort to teach Alexis how to make a fire to keep warm.

Now that had been a discovery that vastly improved her life. At least it would once she figured out how he had done it. He had showed her three times and refused to show her again, instead just giving her the scrap of special stone and a piece of steel from the rubble and telling her to figure it out.

She had yet to get more than a few sparks from the tools given her, but she tried for a few minutes every night before Barricade eventually lit a fire for her with a laser tool.

The fire was an amazing thing for the small girl; it provided both much needed warmth and the option to have heated food in the evenings. All the canned food that she had continued collecting over the weeks were easy to sit in the coals of her fire and warm up. The luxury of warm food to eat was well worth the small burns on her hands from figuring out how to handle the hot metal cans.

She still found a way to curl up with Barricade most nights.

They had had to find a barrel to contain the fire within the alcove after a rather eventful evening where one of her few blankets had met its end in the flames. The only downside to it was that the fire smelled bad. Wood was not readily available in the ruins, so she made do with piles of paper rubbish found in the streets and inside demolished office buildings.

Alexis sometimes would ask Barricade about Cybertron on the nights that she couldn't sleep, something that occurred far more often than it didn't. The most surprising thing was that he answered.

It was slow coming at first, but Alexis had learned to be patient with the mech and let him speak as he wanted. Sometimes that meant that he wouldn't speak at all and she would eventually doze off sitting in her corner with no response. Over time though, he became more open to talk about his home world.

He never sugar-coated anything for her, telling it as it was, no matter how ugly it was.

Alexis found that Barricade was a very introspective being, much more than she had ever realized when they had first met. Sure he was cold and harsh and extraordinarily blunt at times, but she thought that that was a just another feature of who he was and not necessarily something to criticize.

She found that she really just enjoyed listening to Barricade talk about things.

Sometimes Alexis thought that he might have forgotten that she was even there whenever he really got into what he was talking about from the past. She felt sorry for him more times than once while listening to him.

His voice was actually kind of soothing to listen to.

When he spoke he was very quiet and thoughtfully, other times he'd be passionate and she could feel how strongly he felt about a topic. On occasion he would start talking about something and then abruptly stop for the night. Her curiosity always begged her to prompt him into continuing, but he'd get this look that told her not to push it.

He told stories of how Cybertron was before the war in all its golden beauty. Alexis doubted her imagination did what he described any justice, but even in her head it was the most enthralling place she'd ever imagined.

Sometimes he'd sound so tired and lonely she had to wonder why they were still fighting this war she'd been told about. Surely whatever they were fighting over could be fixed if they were all so tired of it.

Couldn't it?

Alexis never tried to ask Barricade about it. Their war seemed like too touchy of a subject to try and broach. Maybe one day, when she knew more about their history and understood what had happened.

Alexis talked to herself a lot too. She never knew if Barricade was ever listening, but she didn't really mind. Talking was good for her, it helped to sort out all the confused and jumbled memories in her head.

She still had nightmares.

They weren't as bad as that first few weeks after she had found the corpse, but some nights were worse than others. She didn't know who or when, but she knew that someone had hurt her in her past, someone she had loved and trusted.

It was those nightmares that seemed the worst of all.

But through it all Barricade was there to ground her. Like usual he never said much, but he would be there and he would wake her from the terrors in her dreams. If they were bad enough then he would sometimes hold her in his servo. He didn't hold her as close as Starscream did, but just him being there was a small comfort in the dark.

As a whole though, life was okay. They did alright together.

It was hard.

Neither Barricade or Alexis were perfect or got along all the time, but they grew to live with each other -depended on each other even. Alexis more than Barricade, but there had been times where the black and white mech had needed the small girl's dexterity to get into small places or help him with delicate repairs.

They made it workable.

In addition to all the marks on her wall counting the days, Alexis had started a small series of marks to the side that measured her height. By her estimations she had grown nearly three of her fingers side by side in height.

It explained why she seemed even hungrier lately. It also explained why she couldn't wear her old shoes anymore.

She had yet to find a pair that even remotely fit, so she was stuck going barefoot for the last several weeks. She'd already cut her foot badly on a piece of scrap metal and had had a limp for about a week and a half.

Having Barricade did make scavenging easier though, at least when he bothered to help. He could easily lift the large pieces of cement and steel to give her access to what was underneath.

Alexis huffed and brushed a clump of overgrown fringe behind her ear. She was out scavenging once again, but this time Barricade wasn't there and she was only just realizing just _how_ much she relied on him these past few months.

He had left four days ago without giving her any sign of when he would be coming back.

She knew that he would have to come back at some point, but the not knowing _when_ weighed heavily on her mind.

She was lonely.

Because she hadn't figured out how to light a proper fire with the chunks of rock and metal Barricade had given her, she was cold at night. She didn't sleep well, staying perpetually cold and feeling the ache in her chest worse than ever as she curled up in the dark at night.

So now as she scavenged early in the morning she watched the sun slowly rise and warm the damp cold that had crept into her bones, she found herself hoping that Barricade was somewhere out there.

Coming back, hopefully.

Alexis pulled her hand away from where she had been absently rubbing at her chest again. The girl shivered and rubbed her arms briskly to keep warm.

There was nothing she could do but keep on doing the same thing she had been doing.

So she waited. And then she kept going on.


	23. Chapter 23

**A** **N:**

 **Hello all! So this chapter isn't up two days ago like I promised and I apologize deeply for that. However, the reason it took longer to get this one out is because I went back and rewrote the chapter to include the Autobots. Yep, you heard me, the Autobots are finally showing up again. Don't thank me yet though, you don't know what I've done. *laughs maniacally and runs for cover***

 **Also I will be getting ready to move out this next week however, so the next chapter may be slightly delayed. Thanks for sticking with me guys!**

 **To Sunsetwater:** Thanks so much! *drowns in confetti* Lol, I would probably be terrified waking up to that as well! Barricade is pretty scary looking. Also, or their growing relationship, I tend to think of it as a mutual loneliness that brings them together, not to mention the similarities in their pasts I've been hinting at. And I know what you're talking about with the EMF stuff, but I'm not sure I can really work it into my story with how I already have things planned out. It is a very interesting concept though!

 **To himelove22:** Thanks for the review! I'm glad to have them finally getting along as well! Don't worry though, they still have a lot of slag to work out between them though. XD

 **To BarricadesDemon216:** *laughs evilly* Just wait and see my friend, just wait and see!

 **To Purest of the Hearts:** Haha, it's kind of true isn't it? I guess Alexis did adopt Barricade in a weird childish way. And I can't say much more than that in response without spoiling this chapter and the rest of the story! Anyways, enjoy!

 **To lizy2000:** Well, the thing is, she doesn't remember her past much except for the nightmares. She can't open up about something she can't remember! *laughs nervously* Don't worry, though. All will come to light eventually.

 **To SunnySides:** Barricade is one of those types of characters that everyone can find a story for or relate to in some way. All the anit hero and not-entirely-bad bad guy stuff goes over really well I guess. And your right, he did have a lot of potential! Hopefully he does more than die in the last knight.

 **To Eunice Pacheco:** I'm glad you liked the song suggestion! I thought it was a pretty good way to set the scene for the last chapter. And you'll find out where Barricade went in this chapter! *hides inside fortress*

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

* * *

 **Always**

 _"Always go too far, because that's where you'll find the truth."_

 _\- Albert Camus_

 **Chapter** **Twenty-Three**

Barricade was gone for five days before he returned late at night, nearly crawling into the alcove with such a racket Alexis woke easily from the fitful sleep she'd fallen into.

The black and white mech looked like he'd been through a blender. His paint was mostly scorched from his frame and bits of metal were dented and pit marked with holes and scrapes. Alexis gasped quietly, her hands coming to her mouth as the heavily damaged mech collapsed in front of her, his wounds leaking steadily from the abrupt collision with the ground.

Any remaining dregs of weariness that the small girl might have felt were quickly overridden with adrenalin and concern.

"What happened?!" Alexis squeaked, still in shock at the sight of the mech.

Barricade growled lowly and didn't respond, focusing purely on trying to sit up enough to staunch the energon from leaking out of the large gash on his side.

Alexis's brow furrowed as she watched the mech try to right himself. She didn't know what she could do to help without getting his energon on her. She knew from experience with Starscream's injuries that the glowing blue liquid was very bad to touch and burned right through skin.

The slow to fade blotchy red scars on her hands were proof of that.

"Barricade what happened? Where did you go?" Alexis demanded, despite not really expecting an immediate answer from him.

She didn't know what to do. For all that they didn't get along sometimes, she had come to rely on Barricade as a friend and companion in the ruins. If he died…

She didn't know what she'd do. She would be very lonely.

" _Atzohbohtz._ " Barricade finally growled lowly in Cybertronian, his servos clenched firmly on a clump of fuel lines in his side.

Alexis blinked before the meaning of the word sunk in. Autobots did this?!

Her eyes widened and she looked over Barricade once more with this new information before her jaw clenched. She wasn't old enough or experienced enough to understand certain aspects of what that meant, but she knew that the Autobots had hurt Barricade.

This was not something Alexis would accept or forgive easily.

She thought of Bumblebee briefly and how he had given her food, but discarded the memory. The Autobots had done nothing for her, while the Decepticons always were there when she needed them. Bumblebee was a liar, she decided in her mind. Bumblebee was an Autobot and the Autobots had hurt her friend.

It made her angry and she didn't know what to do with it.

She decided that she would hate the Autobots. It seemed like the most logical response to the young girl at the moment.

Barricade's low snorts from beside her made her look at him curiously for a long moment before she realized that the damaged mech was laughing at her.

"What are you laughing at!" Alexis demanded furiously, her fists balled up at her sides.

Barricade's optics glinted with amusement even as he shook his helm. "Perhaps Starscream will make a 'Con out of you yet, fleshling." He said roughly, his vocals straining slightly.

Alexis didn't quite understand what he meant by that and she didn't like the feeling. She had every right to be angry! The Autobots had hurt Barricade!

Her anger didn't last long though, because Barricade's optics had gone dim and he'd started leaning to one side.

"Barricade?" Alexis asked, panic starting to set in when he didn't respond in the slightest.

Barricade grunted abruptly and his brief amusement was gone in favour of keeping himself from keeling over. He had pushed his frame and systems as far as they could go before they simply couldn't handle the strain anymore. Which meant that he didn't have a means of blocking out the pain anymore as his HUD lit up with hundreds of errors, not the least of which was several broken struts and a dismayal percentage of ruptured lines.

Oh yeah and he'd also taken a direct hit to the plating above his spark chamber.

"Barricade!"

Barricade's hissed and his engines whined under the strain of his injuries.

His frame slid heavily to the ground and his plating shifted sloppily, slick with the energon covering his frame. He only had about another klick before he went into emergency stasis. Just barely enough time to open up a private com link directly to Starscream.

Just enough time to hear the human girl shouting his designation as he collapsed into oblivion.

* * *

 **4 Days Previously…**

Bumblebee shuffled nervously in front of the Prime's office, his servo moving to ping the door several times before falling back down as he rocked back and forth in the hallway. His doorwings flicked nervously on his back as he began pacing again.

He had been doing this for last hour or so.

The yellow scout let out a low whine of frustration and tugged on his antennae, internally berating himself for his indecision. Well, it wasn't so much indecision as it was not wanting to hear the same answer he'd gotten the last dozen or so times he had gone to Optimus about this.

This time would be different though, Bumblebee was convinced of it.

He had made his argument before, but this time he was better prepared and refused to take no for an answer. This couldn't be put off any longer.

Bumblebee was tired of waiting.

It was time that they made the first move.

Raising his servo for the final time, the scout reached forward to touch the door panel when it slid out from under his servo to reveal a wall of blue and red flames.

"Optimus, um, hi there! I wasn't expecting to find you… here." Bumblebee trailed off when he realized just how stupid that sounded since he was standing right outside the Prime's office.

Instead he swallowed tightly and tried to pretend he hadn't nearly jumped out of his plating when the Prime had appeared.

"Bumblebee, please come in." Optimus said slowly, his deep baritone seeming to vibrate right through the smaller mech's struts.

"Yeah, sure thing!" Bumblebee responded quickly, wincing internally at himself before continuing, "I actually was just getting ready to see you."

The Prime's lip plates quirked upwards the slightest amount and the young scout, "Of course. I have been expecting you for some time now."

Bumblebee froze. "You were expecting me?"

"One does tend to think mechs loitering outside their office will eventually come inside to discuss whatever is so pressing to them." The Prime responded smoothly.

"Oh." Bumblebee rubbed the back of his helm, a surprisingly human action he had picked up from his charge.

The office was silent for a short moment as Optimus sat down in a huge chair specifically designed for a mech of his size. In all honesty it was little more than a glorified stool, but he had graciously accepted the furniture from their human allies.

Bumblebee did not take a seat, choosing instead to stand as he spoke with doorwings splayed high and wide behind him.

"Optimus, I am sick of waiting! We can't let this go any longer! Please let me go and find the girl. The Decepticons have been quiet and it's been nearly five months since my first encounter with the child. For all we know she could be dead already or being tortured by the Con's! I won't stand by and let a human child live alone and starving when we could go rescue her at any moment! It's not right Optimus!"

There. He said it.

Bumblebee stopped, stepping back and swallowing. He hadn't mean to get that intense, but he wouldn't take it back and he didn't regret it. Optimus needed to know he was serious about this.

"Alright." The Prime rumbled after a klick.

"Look I know that we said we would wait, but…" Bumblebee backtracked a moment, his processors catching up with his vocalizer. "What?"

"I want you to go back to the Mission City sector and scout for this human girl." Optimus clarified, "But on one condition."

Bumblebee nodded rapidly, "Anything, as long as we find her."

The Prime stared down at the scout, his cool gaze piercing him to the point where Bumblebee began to doubt himself, becoming increasingly unsure of what he had just agreed to.

"You are to only scout for the girl, Bumblebee." Optimus stated plainly, as if he was briefing any other mech in his ranks. "I do not want you to make further contact until we are sure of her situation and if there are any Decepticons involved. Understood?"

Bumblebee deflated, his doorwings falling to his sides. "But Optimus-" he protested.

"That is the only thing I ask, Bumblebee." The Prime vented, "If there are any signs of Decepticon activity you are to report back to base immediately before any further actions are taken."

The yellow mech straightened, understanding that this was his only chance and he had to take it or leave it. "I understand, Sir."

He turned to leave, but Optimus stood up with a grace that didn't seem possible for a mech of his size.

"Bumblebee, this is the best option." He stated softly.

"I- I know Optimus." Bumblebee vented heavily, "I just wish I could do more."

And then he left without waiting for a dismissal.

* * *

It only took Bumblebee half a groon to be cleared for the mission and he was well and truly ready to be on the road.

Transforming outside of the medbay hangar, the yellow Camaro revved his engines and moved forward, stopping only just long enough for the guards to open the compound gates before rocketing forward.

It was only a three-hour drive from Hoover Dam to the Mission City site, but Bumblebee easily shaved it down to just under two hours. The highways leading to the city were pretty much devoid of any other vehicles. No one really travelled in the area after the government's claims of radiation and other nasty stuff.

For being so curious humans were pretty compliant with such statements, Bumblebee thought wryly.

He slowed down a fraction as the city ruins came into view and turned on his scanners. As he expected, nothing came up.

Speeding back up again, Bumblebee transformed in one smooth leap, landing lightly on the other side of a pile of rubble. His scanner still on high alert, the yellow scout walked slowly around the perimeter of the sector -circling closer to the downtown area where the battle had taken place.

Still nothing on the scanners.

Bumblebee vented quietly, switching the scanners to a secondary processor and focusing on a more primitive method of scouting.

It was unlikely that the human girl, that Alexis, would show up on his scanners anyways.

Bumblebee didn't much mind though. For him it was a welcomed challenge, a much needed chance to exercise his scouting abilities.

It was good for a change.

The yellow scout reset his optics quickly and refocused on the task at hand, tuning all his senses in to the area around him. The cold wind echoing through the ruins to the smell of damp molds from the recent rain, even to the gravel stuck in his tires.

A rock fell and clattered in the distance and Bumblebee was instantly on high alert, his frame tensing and his doorwings fluttering anxiously. Silently transforming his left servo into a blaster, the yellow scout sidestepped so that his back was to a building and protected. He sidled around the corner towards the sound, his sensors failing to register any sign of another lifeform, Cybertronian or otherwise.

Upon finding nothing, Bumblebee's blaster lowered but he didn't transform it back -choosing instead to keep his weapon at the ready should he find anyone else but the human he was looking for.

After nearly another groon of fruitless searching, Bumblebee's guard let down slightly as he became more and more frustrated. He hadn't even been looking for the girl the last time he had found her, so why was it so much harder to find her now?

He tried not to think about the possibility that she might have offlined in the long months since their last encounter.

Bumblebee couldn't handle the possibility that he might be the one responsible for letting a child die alone.

Another clatter of rock and shifting of debris startled the yellow scout into a defensive position, his blaster held high and primed to take the first shot.

But there was nothing to target.

Bumblebee's doorwings were tense as he stood upright again, scanning the area visually and checking his scanners at the same time. He was beginning to sense something extremely suspicious was going on and he was the victim of some sick game.

He was familiar with this game, having played it with a certain mech many times over the course of the war.

By the time Bumblebee had finished his scans, he was nearly ninety-nine percent sure that Barricade was lurking in the ruins -baiting him, waiting for the chance to strike.

Well two could play at that game.

Bumblebee circled around the same area he had been in previously, purposely making novice mistakes to alert his stalker of his position while also making it seem like he was less skilled than he was. He was sure that Barricade would catch on quickly, they had done this too many times for the pattern to not be recognized.

The game drew out well into the night and then easily into the next day.

At one point Bumblebee had lost Barricade's location entirely and had been forced to wander aimlessly, but he never once let his guard down. His scanners and sensors were at full power, searching for both the other mech and the human girl.

At the end of the second day with no sign of either, Bumblebee began to lose patience.

Barricade never was known for being particularly patient, so it had to mean that there was more to this game than their normal charade.

Bumblebee's optics narrowed into thin slits, their pale blue light reflecting on his armour as night fell rapidly.

Barricade was protecting something, leading him away from the city center, the scout realized suddenly.

Worse than that, it was highly likely that Barricade had Alexis.

Bumblebee bolted.

Abandoning the direction he had been going in, the yellow scout raced forwards toward the center of the ruins. The area he had been circling for nearly three days and every time he got too close had been led away from.

He was a slagging idiot for not having realized sooner.

Not even a groon after his movements changed, Bumblebee felt Barricade's presence emerge from whatever cloak he had on his spark signature. The scout couldn't say he was surprised. Barricade was an intelligent mech and an excellent scout; if he had taken any longer Bumblebee would have thought he was losing his touch.

"So you finally figured it out, did you _Atzohboht?"_ Barricade spat, his voice rumbling harshly as he stepped out of the shadows. He laughed mirthlessly, "It certainly took you long enough."

Bumblebee snarled, his vents heaving from the sprint he'd been running, "Enough games, Barricade. Where is the girl?"

"You seemed to be enjoying the game up until now… What changed, little scout?" The black and white mech taunted, circling the Autobot like a predator.

"Where is the human, Barricade? What have you done to Alexis?" Bumblebee challenged, his blasters at the ready and his doorwings pinned back aggressively.

"I have no idea what you're talking about _Atzohboht._ The only humans left here are the dead ones." The Decepticon responded darkly.

That was it. Bumblebee lunged at the black and white mech with a yell, sending them both flying into a building with a heavy thud.

Barricade reacted instantly, throwing off the smaller mech with a small grunt and transforming his one functional blade with a vicious whirl of sharpened metal. He swung it right at the rising scout, who deflected it with a solid kick sweeping Barricade off of his feet.

Barricade growled lowly and stood up quickly, swiping at Bumblebee's helm for a second time and landing a brutal punch to the mech's faceplates when he dodged the spinning saw blade. The scout reacted by firing his blasters at Barricade point blank.

The black and white Deception sidestepped the first volley and vaulted around the second, the final volley catching him in the shoulder as he transformed and spun around in a cloud of dust and debris.

Bumblebee transformed a nanosecond later and followed with a roar of his engines.

The two mechs sped around the city ruins, engines roaring and echoing into the distance as they followed each other. Bumblebee proved to be the faster of the two and Barricade was quickly regretting his inability to do the simplest of upkeep on his frame. He made up for it though by playing dirty, taking Bumblebee through parts of the ruins that were impossible to navigate smoothly unless you knew the terrain.

Eventually though the yellow mech caught up and took every advantage of the fact by slamming into Barricade's alt mode and sending the black and white Mustang spinning into a wall.

Bumblebee transformed swiftly, landing with a small skid and transforming his servos as he balanced out.

Barricade's engine roared and whined as he tried to back out of the crater he made in the wall, but gave up and transformed roughly to duck around the corner as Bumblebee fired round after round of plasma bolts at him.

Barricade hissed when yet another bolt clipped him, this time grazing past his side and leaving searing hot plasma burns on his chassis.

Launching himself from his cover, the Decepticon lunged at the yellow scout with a guttural roar and swiped at him with his blades -this time getting a strangled cry from the Autobot when he cut a large gash into the scout's abdominal plating. Barricade smiled grimly at the fleck of blue glowing dimly on his own chassis and transformed his servo one more, this time to a high powered blaster of his own.

Two shots were fired in quick succession of each other and Barricade's optics flicked down from the hole in Bumblebee's shoulder to the burning hole in his own chassis.

Bumblebee snarled, throwing the still in shock Barricade against a building, "Tell me where Alexis is, Barricade!"

"Go… frag yourself…" Barricade hissed, his vocalizer filled with pained static.

Bumblebee shook the Decepticon roughly, slamming him against the wall even more, "Where is she!"

Barricade smirked, energon welling up into his mouth before he spat it at the yellow scout's face plates and taking the opportunity to slip out of his grip.

Gathering the last of his strength, Barricade swung a pede upwards in a wide arch and brought it down powerfully into Bumblebee's already injured thigh. The Autobot let out a pained yelp and collapsed heavily to his kneebolts.

Barricade primed his blaster and pointed it directly at the scout's faceplates, "Stay out of this city _Atzohboht_. This is Decepticon territory and neither you nor your human allies are welcomed here." He lowered his weapon, not out of mercy, but because he didn't have enough reserves to fire it.

Instead, he brought his servo down harshly and Bumblebee's world went dark.

* * *

 **Present…**

Starscream caught himself for what seemed to be the thousandth time that orn with his servo rubbing absently at his spark.

He yanked his servo away roughly, his pointed digits flexing anxiously.

He had no way of telling what his human might be going through right now but he could feel in his spark that she was afraid. More than afraid if he were to be honest. Her terror leached through the distance of space like a slow chill into his spark. It had been worse a few joors ago.

It had been bad enough that Starscream had had to dismiss himself abruptly from the command bridge in order to center himself to keep from purging. The sheer amount of fear his sparkling could feel, the strength of her emotions far more passionate and potent than a cybertronians -it was enough to send Starscream reeling.

After that initial burst of fear through the bond it became a constant thing. It permeated his spark like a cosmic rust, slowly and painfully.

It was highly troublesome to the busy seeker, being that he had very little time to himself. Such was the life of a deception leader.

Something was not right with Alexis and there was nothing he could do about it.

He couldn't leave, not now that they were so close to Cybertron. The Nemesis had just entered the planet's atmosphere when his spark started acting up again. At least, more so than it normally did.

He could not turn back now.

He refused to.

His spark burned and writhed more and more intensely with each and every passing cycle, but Starscream passed it off the best he could in favour of searching for his brother. Because even with how strong the pain of being away from his sparkling was, nothing could compare to the stark absence of his trine brother. The only other being he could trust, at least to a point, with his spark.

Once trined, always trine.

The ancient Vosian oath of trining whispered itself through his processes, making him turn from his position at the Nemesis's bridge and stalk down the corridor with a determination that would not be stopped.

" _Thundercracker, meet me outside the ship."_ Starscream ordered calmly through the bond they shared.

In the past few orns while they travelled to Cybertron, they had worked hard to restore the strength of their bonds. It wasn't nearly as strong as it would be once the three of them were properly reunited, but it was strengthened to the point that they could effectively communicate and sense each other's presences despite distance.

" _On my way."_ Thundercracker responded almost instantly, clearly sensing the urgency radiating from his brother.

Starscream was only waiting for a klick before Thundercracker turned up, his long legs carrying him quickly to his location. It only took one look to communicate his purpose and the blue seeker nodded curtly.

It was time to find their missing third.

As it turned out, locating Skywarp was proving to be much more difficult than originally anticipated.

 _Much like everything else where their brother was concerned,_ Starscream thought bitterly.

If TC heard him through the bond he didn't say anything. He was just as frustrated as Starscream was, although for very different reasons. Thundercracker was guilt ridden for having left there brother on Cybertron in the first place, Starscream was simply anxious and his spark never gave him a moment to breath in between the constant biting and twisting within his spark chamber.

It was getting to the point that Starscream wasn't sure he could conceal it from his brother anymore. He knew that Thundercracker already suspected something wasn't right with him, but had no idea what it might be.

Starscream intended to keep it that way.

The seeker was quickly distracted from his own problems though, when his brother vented heavily beside him.

They were currently searching for Skywarp in his last known position, which was the barren remains of a small city on the outskirts of Uraya. The city stood tall and desolate in its abandoned state, one of the few cities on the right war torn planet that hadn't been utterly demolished in some battle or other.

From what he had been told, Thundercracker had laid low in these ruins with Skywarp while they waited on word from Megatron's quest for the Allspark. That was at least until they had been forced to scatter by an fluke encounter with some Wreckers.

Starscream had never commented or judged Thundercracker's decisions during that time. Technically Thundercracker was the eldest of the trine, so where Starscream was absent he was given responsibility over Skywarp.

He trusted that his brother had done the best he could under the circumstances.

Starscream honestly envied Thundercracker for the amount of patience and endurance he had. But then again, trine members were never supposed to be complete or perfect on their own. It was the natural order of things.

A seeker without a trine usually had very few useful skills to offer. Not to mention the fact that trine-less seekers were for the most part insane, suicidal or a bad combination of both.

His sensors faintly registered a few lone spark signatures amid the ruins, most likely neutrals if Starscream were to guess. He wasn't sure if he had the patience to deal with them in his current state. Neutrals never gave anything if they thought that it was worth something.

It's how they managed to survive the empty husk of a planet Cybertron had become.

As if sensing his trine leader's thoughts Thundercracker came up behind Starscream.

"They've been watching us for several groons now you know." The slightly broader seeker stated informatively.

Starscream nodded, "I am aware." He responded darkly. "I don't like it."

"They are waiting on you to make the first move." His brother continued, optics glancing over towards his brother's closed off posturing.

They had been searching for several joors by now, the two of them only able to cover small portions of the surprisingly large city at a time. They hadn't even seen the slightest hint or sign of their youngest trine member and it was clearly weighing on them both. Yet despite it all, neither would even think to consider stopping the right search.

They would keep looking until they had scoured all of Cybertron and even then they would keep looking.

Starscream shifted stiffly, his frame showing just how much pressure his spark was under in that moment.

"I..." the red and grey seeker started before cutting himself off with a growl.

Thundercracker smirked, his optics glinted with more than just amusement at his brother's moments. "I will handle the neutrals and ask around for information. You keep searching for 'Warp."

Starscream nodded begrudgingly, but was clearly relieved nonetheless. "Keep in contact and report every joor. I don't trust the empties."

"I'll be fine Star. I have more than enough rations in subspace to keep them interested."

Starscream vented in disbelief. There would never be enough energon rations to keep the neutrals satisfied. He didn't say this one though, choosing instead to transform and take off with a graceful half skip off of the building they had landed on.

Thundercracker snorted lightly at his brother with a muttered 'show-off' before sliding down the side of the building and landing lightly with his thrusters. Concern seeped through the sentiment though and the blue seeker wondered not for the first time when Starscream would tell him what was wrong.

Because there was very obviously something wrong with his brother, something ripping his very spark apart. Thundercracker knew -he could feel echoes of the ache through the bond.

It didn't take long for the empties to find him once he started strolling through the desolate city. Thundercracker could feel their dim optics following him as he walked and it was challenging to not give in to the urge to shudder. He didn't like the way they moved, following in the shadows but never staying fully hidden.

After walking in circles for nearly a groon, Thundercracker came to the conclusion that he would be the one making the first move.

Stopping suddenly, the large blue seeker turned to the nearest shadow, calling out with a resonant timber. Not threatening, but also a warning that he was not to be trifled with.

"I come in search for a mech." Thundercracker stated, his gaze unwavering as the shadows shifted in the corner of his optics. "A purple seeker by the name of Skywarp last seen here five quartex ago. I will pay in energon for any information on his location."

The shadows went still.

A mottled orange and brown mech crept from out of nowhere, stepping into the seeker's vison with a very noticeable limp and grinding of gears. Several other mechs emerged from either side of the first, flanking him silently.

"We might know something of the mech you seek." The orange mech grunted warily, his pale blue optics sharp despite his frame's decrepit state.

Thundercracker nodded curtly and as a gesture to continue pulled out three rations from his subspace. He had two more in reserve, but he wasn't willing to put those up for grabs quite yet. Energon was not so abundant that he could afford to give it all away.

The motley orange mech appraised the offering, greed clearly shining in his optics.

"We saw a mech matching that description walking northwest of here, but that was two quartex past." The mech stated slowly, his optics never leaving the energon rations in the seeker's servos.

Thundercracker's optics narrowed to red slits as he approached the diminutive mech that seemed to represent the neutral party.

"You are sure that is all you know?" he pressed, tone containing the slightest underlying threat.

"There is nothing else." The mottled mech stood his ground and glared up at the massive wall of blue and grey in front of him. "We _will_ take our payment now."

Thundercracker frowned. There was something the mech was hiding, but he wasn't willing to fight a bunch of starving neutrals for it. The seeker had barely leaned forward to give the mech the rations before they were snatched violently from his grasp.

Thundercracker pulled back his servo in disgust when he felt clawed digits ripping at his own.

Hissing lowly and glaring at the loosely grouped mechs, Thundercracker very suddenly felt the need to be airborne.

These mechs were not the kind to settle with what he had given them and he had no intentions of giving them anything else. The large blue seeker leapt upwards and twisted into his alt mode with a loud roar of his thrusters, the suddenness of it sending several of the neutrals sprawling backwards.

There were rumours of neutrals and empties that had turned cannibal in Cybertron's energon shortage. Thundercracker shuddered in the air at the thought.

No, he had no desire to find out if it was true or not.

Especially not when they had at least given him something.

After all, he was a seeker.

All he needed was a direction to look in.


	24. Chapter 24

**A** **N:**

 **Hello faithful readers! Life has been crazy intense I seriously haven't had time to even sleep, much less write. I'm super sorry for not updating in nearly two months, so I decided to post my last reserve chapter even though I haven't finished writing the next one yet. Thanks for hanging in there with me while I try and keep up with all the curveballs life's been throwing me lately!**

 **To lizyeh2000:** _Hahah, its alright. Both Bumblebee and Barricade are pretty tough mechs, so they'll manage! Hope you enjoy this chapter!_

 **To Eunice Pacheco:** _Yeah, the Autobots don't seem to be doing very well making a good impression on our young human sparkling do they? And you wouldn't be the only one freaking out over 'Cade. Unfortunately, we don't find out if he's alright until next chapter. Muahahaha, anyways enjoy_ **!**

 **To Purest of the Hearts:** _No worries, I'll just respond to both reviews at once! And yes, Alexis is slowly picking up a few cybertronian terms. I'm sure Starscream would love some of the things she'll start saying in the future thank to Barricade! Bumblebee isn't the greatest at following orders either is he? He just cares to much to think before acting when it comes to his human friends. And Alexis has a whole buttload of mental issues she's gonna have to face as this story goes along. Hehehe, and I won't say anything at all regarding the 3_ _rd_ _movie_ **!**

 **To Sunsetwater:** _That's a very good point and covers a lot of what I was aiming for in their relationship! I'm actually really glad I got the idea across in my writing! I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

 **To BarricadesDemon216:** _The game really did fit his character as a scout/hunter type figure, so I went ahead and threw it in! Glad to hear it worked out well! And poor Barricade gave as good as he got, but he's in pretty poor shape right about now. Hopefully he's alright!_

 **To himelove22:** _Haha yep, just when you think 'oh yay the Autobots are here!' you realize that Alexis hates them and that kinda throws a wrench in the works. Oh well, what's an author to do? You'll just have to find out!_

 **To skittlesdeb:** _Thanks so much! I'm really glad that you like the story and I hope you enjoy this chapter!_

 **Anyways, another song that I felt really fit this chapter, especially Starscream in how the lyrics describe his spark pains and reunion with his brothers. The song is Pins and Needles by the Birthday Massacre. Don't judge how my music choices span across half a dozen genres in opposite directions and just listen to the song! XD**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

* * *

 **Always**

 _"_ _It's always a nightmare, it's never a dream_

 _The promise we made to kill the days between_

 _They live in the heartbeat and sleep til the light is gone_

 _It's been so long_

 _Feels like pins and needles in my heart_

 _So long_

 _I can feel it tearing me apart."_

 _-Pins and Needles, Birthday Massacre_

 **Chapter Twenty-Four**

Starscream stumbled, tripping over a large piece of rubble just as his spark threatened to send him into stasis. He had to get back, back to the Nemesis before he collapsed.

It seemed that his close proximity to his brother had been the only thing grounding the seeker's writhing spark. Once they had separated, Starscream was left alone to deal with the overwhelming pain eating away at his very essence.

The ache pulled his spark in three different directions at once and his systems were not equipped to deal with the backlash.

His strength was fading and fading fast.

He had to get to Hook.

Hook had a treatment for this. Starscream knew because he had relied on it many times in that first vorn he had been separated from his trine. This was no different.

All he had to do was get there before he blacked out.

Starscream grunted, his optics flickering dimly as his spark flared and licked at his spark chamber before dying back down.

It was all he could do not to scream and curl up in a ball around his writhing spark until it went away.

Except it wouldn't ever fully go away. Not entirely.

Even with the spark dampening medication Starscream would still feel the ache, even if the edge was taken off.

Starscream gritted his denta and trudged forwards, the outcropping of the Nemesis towering in the horizon as he approached. Soon he was within short range com distance and was able to contact Hook directly. He couldn't afford to contact anyone else and risk falling apart in front of his already distrustful crew.

He hadn't hardly had enough time to send a ping through before Hook had already picked up on his com signal.

/What do you want now, Starscream?/ Came the constructicon's withering tone.

Starscream didn't have the strength of mind to correct the mechs lack of respect, /I need you to meet me in the lower deck. Bring a dose of the dampening engex./

There was the slightest pause in which the seeker could see Hook's frowning faceplate before he responded /Let me be the one to decide that. I'll be there in a breem./

Starscream swore harshly under his breath and collapsed heavily on a cargo crate to steady himself. He could only hope that Hook got there before he fell into stasis. It was a lot easier to get out of uncomfortable explanations when one was conscious. Usually at least.

There were times where being unconscious had it benefits, Starscream conceded mentally.

Still, Starscream would much rather be aware of his surroundings than not, so going into stasis was not a favourable option for the elite seeker.

His comlink crackled with a quiet ping. At first Starscream thought it might be Hook trying to comm him back, but then the ping signature registered. It was… _Barricade_?

There was static on the other end of the line stretching hundreds of thousands of hics away and then nothing. Then the line was open again and his spark burned more violently than ever at the voice that came through.

" _Starscream!"_

The seeker struggled to do something, anything, but the comlink cut out before he could. His spark pulsed in agony and his frame sagged from the strain, threatening to go into stasis at any moment. The myriad of unknown emotions swirled through his spark and processor faster than he could process. Struggle as he might though against it, it seemed that he had little choice in the matter as he slipped off the crate and onto the steel flooring of the Nemesis cargo hold.

* * *

Thundercracker vented slowly as he pushed away the warnings on his HUD and continued his low altitude scans of the sector below. He could make it another joor easily if he was careful.

He still hadn't seen any sign of Skywarp.

Of his brother that _he_ had abandoned. Primus knew what the purple seeker had been forced to go through alone with the neutrals and empties. Thundercracker just hoped his brother was smart enough to have not gotten himself offlined.

No.

He was online. Weak as the bonds may be from time and distance, both he and Starscream would have known if Skywarp had offlined.

The large blue seeker would have ground his denta if he'd been in his root mode, but in alt mode he simply flared his thrusters and kept scanning for signs of his brother's spark signature.

Another groon passed.

And then another...

Thundercracker's HUD flashed another warning, this one blinking much more urgently than before.

The blue seeker's engines rumbled in a not quite growl. He was becoming more and more frustrated and anxious to find his brother and bring him home. They _needed_ him back.

He almost missed the blip on his scanners it was so small, so unnoticeable. He wouldn't have seen it if he hadn't been specifically looking for it.

Thundercracker flared his thrusters and pushed himself even harder than before, pointedly ignoring the way his HUD blared in protest of his energon levels. He refused to give up now, not when he was so close. He was here.

Skywarp was _here_.

Thundercracker transformed and landed heavily on one knee bolt, his lowered energon levels leaving him clumsy when transforming. The seeker scanned the area visually, accessing the location. He was on the outskirts of a small city sector, the slums most likely.

The place was mostly ruins and rubble, but one could easily tell it was not from war. It was simply run down over the vorns, the dilapidated buildings crumbling into themselves over the course of time. The nearby desert sands had encroached upon the low buildings and heaps of the metal dust lay in the city and in the primitive hut type dwellings.

"Skywarp?" Thundercracker shouted, hoping that his brother would just appear out of one of the buildings and his search would be over.

"'Warp! It's Thundercracker!" Thundercracker voice cried out deeply, hardly making it through the whining sands around him. "Come out Skywarp, come home!"

He went on like that for several breems, still holding out the hope that his brother was online and functional.

Thundercracker continued running scans, but eventually was forced to turn them off to conserve energy. He still had a single ration in his subspace, but he didn't want to use it when Skywarp most certainly would need it more.

Without his scanners he relied on his spark, reaching and searching through the weakened bond to try and get a location, a direction even.

Anything that would bring him closer to his brother.

His spark eagerly responded, pulling him in directions unknown. He could feel Starscream strongest of all, although his side of the bond was fuzzy and almost disconnected. Thundercracker paused in his searching, recognizing the feeling as the effect of spark dampener. Concern briefly clouded his processes before he pushed it away.

 _Skywarp_.

He needed to find Skywarp.

His spark whirled, seeking but not finding the end of the bond he was looking for. Thundercracker pushed harder into the dormant bond, pushing open the link between his spark and Skywarp's.

Thundercracker's optics flickered online and he walked forward, following the strained pull of his spark.

His path twisted from building to building as he weaved through the ruins. Searching, following, seeking.

Until he came to the entrance of what looked like an old transport station that had long since caved in, but the station building itself still stood.

Thundercracker vented lightly before pinning his wings back and ducking under the fallen archway into the building. The building shifted as he entered and he coughed, cycling air that probably had sat undisturbed for vorns.

"Skywarp? 'Warp are you there?" Thundercracker hacked, his vents catching on the dust laden air.

The blue seeker looked around dimly, the building dark and dusty inside. His thrusters clicked on worn metal floors. He searched carefully, following his spark and seeking the other side of Skywarp's bond. He could just barely sense it's presence, but he was here. Thundercracker was sure of it.

His thrusters echoed slightly as he walked forwards, small clouds of dust rising with each step. _Closer_... his spark whispered.

In the murky black Thundercracker could barely make out anything, but his spark pulled him further into the dark. His spark said Skywarp was here, but he couldn't see any sign of him.

Then in the corner of his optic he caught a flash of purple. Just a tiny reflection of light from the entrance, but it was enough. Thundercracker rushed forward, sliding to his knee bolts to lift a chunk of rubble off of his brother's still form.

"Skywarp..." the seeker breathed his brother's name as his dusted off the sand from his face plates.

He was in emergency stasis lock and appeared to have been that way for a long time. Thundercracker couldn't help but to think how lucky he was to have been far enough away from the neutral camps to have not been found. Thundercracker avoided thinking of what they would have done to him if he had been found.

Thundercracker's HUD blinked it's last warning before a timer appeared in the corner of his vision. He only had about two breems before he was forced into stasis lock alongside his brother.

Moving quickly, Thundercracker brought his last ration cube out of subspace and drank it in one smooth motion. The he brought out his medical kit and pulled out what he needed before discarding the rest and opening a panel in his wrist, folding away the armour around his bracer.

Venting sharply, he dug one end of the thick needle into his main energon line. Bright blue flowed swiftly through the makeshift transfusion and Thundercracker had only klicks to pry Skywarp's bracer back and placed the other end into his brother's wrists.

Bright blue energon flowed between them and Thundercracker smiled the tiniest smile all the while praying to Primus that Skywarp still hadn't damaged his warp generators.

Red optics onlined slowly and purple biolights brightened even as Thundercracker's own dimmed.

"Take us home 'Warp."

* * *

Starscream was not yet fully awake before he felt the cool numbness in his spark. The absence of the pulling strain he had felt none stop since his departure from Earth replaced with a duller sort of nothingness.

It was strange and not entirely comfortable.

It was almost as if a vital piece of himself had been taken away. Like he was trying to fly without his wings or seeing without any sensors beside his optics. The feeling left him dizzy and disorientated.

Starscream did not particularly enjoy the feeling.

His optics opened and he sat up smoothly, carefully hiding his unbalanced movements with a steady grip on the berth under him as he swung his thrusters over the edge.

"I wouldn't try getting off that berth if I were you." The bright green and purple medic warned dully without even looking up from his data pad where he sat reading at his console.

Starscream, being the mech that he was and a seeker mech no less, promptly ignored said warning and landed unsteadily on his pedes -servos still gripping the berth. A snarky comment died inside his vocalizer when he looked up and found himself flat on his back and was replaced with a low whine when he realized that he had landed on his wings.

With a longsuffering vent, Hook set down his data pad and walked over to the floored seeker. He _tsked_ lowly, "I did warn you,Starscream."

With a seemingly effortless motion the Constructicon hefted the seeker back onto the berth without pause. "You are currently on about three different sedatives and spark dampeners at the highest dosage I can justify and yet you still insist on walking?" Hook shook his helm in disbelief. He honestly shouldn't be surprised by now. "Any other mech wouldn't even be conscious for at least another three joors!"

Starscream shrugged loosely, "What else did you expect from me?" the seeker asked with only the slightest slur to bely his highly drugged state.

At least now he knew why he felt so _floaty._

"Well, first of all, I do expect some explanation as to why I found you in stasis on the floor of the cargo hold." Hook responded dryly. "I also want to know why your spark is showing signs of extreme stress."

There was a long pause where Starscream refused to look at the medic, crimson optics narrowed and staring into the distance. Somewhere inside he could feel his spark churn numbly. He could feel the pain and the pull still, it just didn't matter as much as it did without the dampeners.

Eventually Hook huffed and checked a monitor synced to the seeker's systems before turning it off.

"At least tell me sooner next time." The Constructicon medic stated seriously, "Your spark can't take that much strain for extended periods without damage."

Starscream grunted.

Hook frowned and he glared at the seeker as much as he could with a visor. "Listen here, Starscream because I am tired of repeating myself to thick-helmed seekers who think they know better. If you continue like this your spark has almost a 90 percent chance of fracturing under the strain."

That got his attention.

Spark fractures were something that never went away. When a spark reached for bonds that were no longer existent or had been dormant for an extended period then the strain sometimes caused the spark to literally tear itself apart reaching for the empty connection. Sometimes fatal and always excruciating, spark fractures never healed and most mechs who lived with them were usually drugged for the rest of their lives to cope with the pain.

They weren't so common anymore. No one risked forming bonds during the war, especially within the Decepticon ranks.

"We're… We're still looking for him." Starscream stated slowly, trying to gauge how much Hook suspected his spark strain wasn't trine related. Trying to hide the fact that he was far more conscious than he had a right to be. Hiding that his spark was still on fire inside and felt like it was going to burn a hole right through his cockpit.

The Constructicon looked sharply at him for a long moment, "Well I hope Primus is on your side then, if not for your sake but for mine when I have to put you back together."

Starscream swallowed tightly before responding coldly, "Primus is never on my side."

Hook snorted, "That's the understatement of the millennia." He said wryly before pausing, considering the seeker in front of him. "That being said, I hope you find Skywarp soon." He vented harshly, deciding that things were getting a little too spark felt for him, "If only because I'm the slagging medic who gets to repair him when you drag his sorry aft back here!"

And with that he turned and left Starscream to blink slowly on the berth at his words. Hook could only hope the seeker was too drugged to remember the encounter.

Several long groons passed in silence as the seeker drifted in a dazed state somewhere between stasis and consciousness. He never sleep properly when drugged, he spark never taking to the sedatives as well as they should.

Starscream was just barely falling into a natural recharge when his spark thumped powerfully without warning. It was different than the normal painful pull.

Before he even had a chance to orient his processes there was a loud crack and a flash of purple and two seekers' frames crashed loudly on top of him. His previously pained yelp quickly morphed into a surprised cry of joy.

His trine was back.

 _His trine was back._

"What the frag is going on here Starscream! If I find you out of berth one more time I will weld your pit spawned aft to the..." Hook bellowed from his office as he came around the corner to investigate the noises.

Hook blinked dumbfoundedly at the ungraceful pile of seekers in front of him for a few moments before exploding.

"What-how the frag!? Starscream you have two nanos to explain why your trine mates are both in stasis on your berth!"

Starscream was shocked out of his stunned reverie by the irate medic's voice, "I have no explanation, Medic. One moment I'm in recharge and the next these two appear before I can even react."

Hook stood there for another long or moment in clear disbelief before seeming to move into a whirlwind of movement as he inspected Thundercracker and Skywarp for injuries. It only took half a breem for him to find the emergency transfusion lines joining the two together and he swore harshly under his breath.

"Knockout, get your shiny aft out here! And bring two -no four, of the energon transfusion bags with you!" Hook ordered. Starscream only was half conscious of his own thoughts and couldn't help but think that the Constructicon was definitely in full on medic mode.

That couldn't be very good for his brothers.

Starscream shook his helm to try and clear his processors of the drugs Hook had given him earlier. It seemed that with the shock arrival of Skywarp and TC they had finally decided to kick in properly. Slaggit, he needed to know what was going on!

"Hook." Starscream asked as the medic lifted Thundercracker off of him with the help of his assistant they'd picked up since landing on Cybertron.

The medic didn't respond and Starscream struggled to sit up under the dead weight of his other brother. It was then that he realized that Skywarp was covered in a thick layer of sand and dust, his outer armour rusting and crusted around the edges. The disgust he felt in being covered by sand and dirt didn't nearly outweigh the concern he felt for his brother's wellbeing.

So when the two medics came back from loading Thundercracker onto another berth, Starscream caught Hook by the arm and held him in place before he could walk past.

"Hook, will they be alright?"

The medic's visor darkened and his frame sagged fractionally, "Do you want the truth or do you want assurances?"

Starscream leveled him with a cold glare that was the only answer the Constructicon needed.

"Thundercracker will recover in a few joors from sever energon loss, Skywarp... Skywarp I'm not sure yet. His frame is rusting to bits, his damages are numerous, and his spark has contracted a considerable percentage from long term energon deprivation. I'm also concerned there might be degradation of his neural network."

"But he will recover?" he asked pointedly, his optics burning into Hook's visor.

"He... he will recover. But if his processors have been affected by energon deprivation or rust, then I cannot guarantee he will be the same mech." Hook stated professionally, effectively hiding how uncomfortable he was.

Starscream vented slowly as he processed this information and Hook took advantage of the opportunity to remove himself from the seeker's grip and finish moving the purple seeker to another berth.

Leaving Starscream to watch helplessly as he and Knockout began working on his brother.

Best case scenario, Skywarp would recover and be the same cocky prankster and brilliant strategist that he was, worst case... Who knew who would wake up at the other end of their bonds.

The red and grey trine leader rebooted his optics and sat himself up on his berth with his back against the wall to watch in silent vigil. His spark clenched uneasily at the sight of his trine mate being systematically pulled apart and put back together, but Starscream brushed it off and focused on the lingering fog of the sedatives.

It was nearly two joors before Hook and Knockout were finished with repairs.

Hook approached slowly, wiping down his servos briskly with a clean rag.

"Well?" Starscream prompted after the green medic just stood there for several klicks.

"Thundercracker is fine, he will come out of stasis whenever his systems deem time. Skywarp's spark is strengthening slowly with the energon drip we have him on and most of his repairs were on old injuries or superficial. His neural network had a mild rust infection that I've cleaned out to the best of my abilities. It wasn't as bad as I expected, but I'm going to keep him on some nanite infusions for several cycles and there might be some glitches as the rust works it's way out of his systems." Hook stated steadily before pausing, "All we can do is wait now."

Starscream swallowed thickly, "Can I see them?"

Hook looked at the seeker in surprise that he'd bothered to ask at all, "Go ahead. You were cleared for discharge over a joor ago, but I didn't figure you would want to leave your trine."

Starscream nodded to the medic and that being the only form of thanks Hook figured he would get, the Constructicon medic nodded curtly and vacated the medbay.

The red and grey seeker waited until Hook was gone before slowly sliding off of his berth and walking over to the berths where Thundercracker and Skywarp both lay in stasis. His thrusters clicked quietly as he walked slowly, his perception still slightly off from the sedatives.

Both of his brothers laid in separate berths side by side and at least looked much better than before. Clean plating shining in dark blues and white, rich purples and dark greys.

Knockout must have taken the time to clean them up before leaving, Starscream figured as he approached Skywarp's still form.

Primus, he missed them.

Megatron would call him weak, had called him weak, for having such a strong attachment to his trine but he was wrong.

His trine made him stronger, his bonds made him stronger and they strengthened his will to go on. Starscream wasn't sure where he'd be without his bond to his brothers.

Long dead probably.

But even now with Skywarp returned and completing the third part of their trine, something was missing.

 _Wrong_. His spark whispered through the dampening cloud of the drugs still in his system.

Starscream hissed and clawed at his spark chamber, his clawed digits leaving long scratches along the plating. It did nothing to ease the slowly mounting pain in his spark.

His thoughts drifted to right before he had passed out in the cargo bay, but his memories still fuzzy.

Alexis.

Barricade had commed him, but it was Alexis's panicked voice that had come through with such urgency.

He needed to go. She needed him and his spark wouldn't let him live without the human sparkling. He needed to be there to protect her.

His mind was made up.

Starscream was going back to earth. His trine would still be with him on the Nemesis, but it couldn't wait. His spark wouldn't let him. He needed to make sure his sparkling was safe.


	25. Chapter 25

**A** **N:**

 **Hello my lovely readers! I am soo soo sorry for not updating lately, and if you follow me on tumblr then you will at least have some idea why. For those who don't, let's just say I've had a really rough few weeks both mentally and financially with the death of my Rottweiler and my university stopping my student allowance payments.  
I'm doing a bit better now that some big uni assignments are out of the way and I have a small amount of free time to breathe in. I've also opened up art commissions on my tumblr so if you want to find my there my username is just .com. Even if you can't afford a commission just a signal boost is hugely appreciated!**

 **To TatteredAngel42:** Holy cow! I am so honored that you think so highly of my story! Wow… As for Skywarp, we'll just have to wait for now before we see how he's doing. Haha, not to worry, everything in due time and the Autobots aren't quite due yet! Thanks so much for reviewing and I hope you enjoy this update!

 **To BarricadesDemon216:** Thanks so much for the review! I'm glad 'Warps okay too!

 **To thunderthunder:** Thanks so much for reviewing! Skywarp is definitely a fun character to write and is just extra lovable!

 **To Eunice Pacheco:** Thank you! It's good to be back. Well more back and forth than anything else, but I'm back again for a short while at least! I'm glad you found the song fitting even despite the genre not being your favorite. It means I'm at least somewhat on the right track! And yes, I will definitely be explaining what Skywarp has been doing without his trine the last few vorn.

 **To lizyeh2000:** Haha, yep Barricade is pretty obligated to protect Alexis. However, he doesn't see her as his sparkling. She is just under his protection because Starscream ordered it. Doesn't mean he didn't get attached to her though! XD

 **To Purest of the Hearts:** *laughs manically* Yes, 'Warp is back, but how much of him is yet to be determined! Haha, but no she didn't speak through the bond. Barricade tried to comm Starscream in the seconds before he offlined and Alexis was screaming for Starscream and that's what he heard through the commlink. Starscream did feel her fear though. In my story they won't ever really be able to talk through their bond; communication will mostly be empathic. Hope you enjoy this chapter!

 **And now, onto chapter 25!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

* * *

 **Always**

 _"_ _There was always a way, when one knew what one wanted."_

― _Donna Woolfolk Cross_

 **Chapter Twenty-Five**

Starscream did not wait long to issue the orders to the crew and preparations to return to Earth began immediately.

Energon stores were replenished from old Decepticon store houses that only select few knew about. Mechs were gathered and returned to the ship, both old crewmembers and a fair number of new mechs that decided to take their chances on the Nemesis rather than a barren Cybertron. Starscream certainly would not complain about having more mechs under his command, even if most were only good for cannon fodder.

Still there were a few mechs that were useful, such as Hook's new assistant, Knockout.

However, even after issuing the orders Starscream hardly left his brothers' sides. He was at constant vigil, waiting for his two trine mates to awaken.

He had gone to the command center only for a brief moment to oversee the actual take off procedure of the Nemesis, but once Earth's coordinates were locked into navigation the seeker had left quickly and returned to the medbay.

The ache in his spark grew continually worse as the dampener wore off, but he stubbornly refused to acknowledge it. He ignored it, brushing it off as concern for his brothers. Which of course, was true in part, but he still had no desire to think of any other reason for the constant burn and pulling of his spark.

Where before he was able to focus on the future and the fact that he was already on his way to Earth to ease the tension, it seemed no longer possible. If anything, such thoughts only made the pull worse and that much more urgent.

So instead, Starscream sat silently in between the two berths that held his brothers and tried his best to avoid clawing his own chassis open from the pain.

The task was easier said than done.

Starscream soon found, as he had often discovered before, that patience was not a strong point of his. Neither was sitting still for any length of time.

Hook had been quiet for the most part, grumbling every so often about seekers and their habits, but made no real effort to kick Starscream out of his medbay.

The red and grey seeker supposed he should have been thankful for Hook's tolerance, but he honestly would have stayed exactly where he was whether the medic liked it or not. That was just he way it was. Nothing would be able to move Starscream from his place by his brothers. As trine leader it was his sworn duty and responsibility to stand watch while his trine recovered.

Starscream figured that Hook had been around long enough to understand this and that was the reason why he was left relatively undisturbed by the Constructicon medic.

The Nemesis shifted slightly in its trajectory and Starscream knew that the ship had broken free of Cybertron's orbit. The shuddering rattle lasted only a few short moments and it was unlikely anyone else even noticed it. Seekers by nature tended to be far more aware of their atmospheric surroundings than most, given the highly sensitive nature of their wings and sensor nets.

Thundercracker groaned, his servo coming to his helm jerkily to block the bright white lights of the medbay as he opened his optics.

Then he came to all at once and bolted upright.

"Skywarp!" He shouted, flinging his thrusters over the side oft the berth and toppling right into Starscream.

The trine leader held his brother up as the blue seeker struggled to regain his balance.

"Relax TC, Skywarp is right here." Starscream stated dryly, not amused at suddenly supporting his larger brother's full frame weight.

"Wh- how did we get here? Did you find us?" Thundercracker asked, his processes still reorienting themselves after coming out of an emergency stasis lock.

Starscream snorted and clumsily hefted his brother back onto the berth, "We were hoping you could tell us that, you big aft."

Thundercracker groaned and scrubbed at his faceplates tiredly, "I'm not sure that I can. I remember giving Warp the transfusion and then I probably went into stasis shortly after..." The blue seeker looked at his other brother lying still on the next berth over. "Then I woke up here."

"I believe I have the answer to that." Hook announced suddenly from where he seemingly appeared by the two seekers.

"Oh? Please enlighten us, all-knowing medic." Starscream responded, his voice dripping with sarcasm even as his wings perked up with just the slightest movement.

Hook glared at him sharply, visor doing nothing to hide the animosity directed at the red and grey trine leader. "Not until I've run a final physical on sleeping beauty here."

Starscream fumed and scowled darkly, but did nothing to stop the medic from doing whatever scans and prodding that he needed to do on his brother. Crossing his arms and leaning up against Skywarp's berth, the seeker glared holes into the back of the Constructicon's helm as he tutted and went about with his routine.

If Hook noticed, then he never showed it as he subspaced his medical scanner.

"All looks fine for now and you're fit enough for light duty until your energy levels balance out. Keep drinking the additives I gave you and don't make me force your rations down your throat."

Thundercracker nodded stiffly, not liking it but acknowledging the order nonetheless. He had been known for 'saving' his rations so that there would be another serving for the crew to dole out. Apparently Starscream hadn't done as well as he thought in dissuading such ridiculousness out of his brother.

The trine leader's optics narrowed at his brother and Thundercracker shrugged shamelessly.

Venting heavily, Starscream stood up straight and cleared his vocals roughly, "Are you quite finished now?" He asked the medic, his tone broaching derisive in his impatience.

Hook snorted, "Primus forbid I ever finish repairing your trine's collective afts." He drawled.

Thundercracker smirked while Starscream fumed silently at the comment, but neither interrupted Hook as he continued.

"Now, as I was getting to before, Skywarp's abilities are highly unpredictable at the best of times so it's hard to know how he managed to bring both himself and Thundercracker back to the Nemesis without any specific coordinates."

"Yes, yes, we already know how 'Warp's abilities function. What is the point you are trying to make?" Starscream cut in flippantly, his wings twitching with impatience.

"What I'm trying to say, you impatient fragger, is that both your trine mates should be dead!" Hook snarled harshly, his own limited patience running short.

However, it seemed that that was enough to get both seeker's undivided attention.

"What do you mean, Hook?" Thundercracker prompted neutrally, watching his brother's wings flit from shock and disbelief, to anger and disbelief, and then to a clear position that screamed _why_ and _how._

Hook vented and scrubbed a purple servo over his visor.

"What I mean is that without coordinates you shouldn't have come out of the other end of the warp sequence, much less show up unannounced in my medbay."

Thundercracker frowned, "And? We already are aware of the dangers of warping without coordinates."

"I believe that he locked onto Starscream's spark somehow. It's the only explanation that makes the slightest sense."

Starscream's optics widened slightly before furrowing into a heavy scowl, "How is that possible?"

Hook grunted, "If I were honest, I would say that I have no clue. However, if I were guessing I would say that it had something to do with how your spark was stressed to the point of fissure just a few breem before they warped in."

Thundercracker's optics snapped to his brother, who had the good sense to flinch at the look he was receiving. "Were you ever going to mention this to me, Starscream?"

"No… Didn't plan on it really." The red and grey seeker laughed nervously under his brother's steely gaze. He didn't like the feeling he was getting from the other side of the bond.

"In any case," the Constructicon medic continued unphased by the non-verbal communication between the two seekers, "I believe that Skywarp's spark locked onto Starscream's and then warped you both directly to his location."

Starscream scoffed, "That is completely impossible."

Hook rolled his optics underneath his visor at the dismissal, "I assure you, if I had a more logical explanation I would use it." The green medic moved around the two seekers to check on Skywarp's transfusion lines. "Seeker sparks are far more susceptible to such improbabilities due to the nature of how their bonds are formed. There have been stranger happenings in the past, although this is fairly high up on the list."

Starscream opened his mouth to argue, but was quickly cut off by his brother with a sharp prod through the bond. His mouth snapped shut and he glared at the blue seeker next to him.

' _Is it really worth the argument, Star? We got Warp back and I don't think I need much more than that.'_

Starscream's optics narrowed into a scowl, but the look softened when they rested on Skywarp's faceplate.

' _I'm glad you found him.'_ Starscream whispered sincerely through their bond, but didn't answer the question.

' _We found him. We both would be offline if Skywarp hadn't warped us to you.'_

Starscream didn't respond to that, instead staring intently at the purple seeker lying motionless on the berth. Hook was nearby, working at the berth's medical console.

/Lord Starscream, this is Lieutenant Hardtop reporting! You are required at the bridge immediately!/

The elite seeker groaned at the sudden comlink flooding his helm and pressed his servo to his nasal ridge. Thundercracker felt the underlying stress in his brother's spark come clawing back to the top and wondered why Starscream would be so... so distracted, when it had been his life's goal to lead the Decepticon's.

"I am needed elsewhere. Will- will you be alright?" Starscream asked quietly, staring blankly at Skywarp's still form.

"They'll be fine. Now get your lazy aft out of my medbay!" Hook bellowed from his office, startling both seekers.

Thundercracker recovered first and turned to his trine mate, "We'll be fine, Star. Go." The blue seeker reassured his brother with a rough push through the bond.

Starscream smirked, his optics glinting and his wings straightening as he suddenly looked much more like the Starscream Thundercracker knew before he walked out the door without a further word.

* * *

Once on the bridge, Starscream was met by Lieutenant Hardtop's grim visage.

"Report Lieutenant!" Starscream barked immediately.

"We are approaching sensor range of the Earth quadrant as ordered, my lord." The yellow opticed mech shifted nervously as he gave his report, "We have come to orbit around the large gas planet to hide our signatures."

Starscream might have given him some half-sparked comment on how the Lieutenant had actually accomplished something intelligent on his own, but he was more interested in what was bothering the mech so much. He wasn't telling him something.

"What else, Lieutenant?" Starscream barked, startling the nervous mech.

"Well, several mechs have reported… illness after consuming the energon brought from the planet." Hardtop sputtered quickly, hoping that this didn't get him offlined. It was just an energon contaminant, but better mechs had been offed for less in the Elite trine leader's presence.

Starscream's optics narrowed. How interesting.

"Is that so?" He hadn't thought of, much less touched the energon since he unloaded it into the cargo bay after he first boarded the Nemesis. "What kind of… _illness?"_

The shorter mech's platting shrunk down just the slightest, "I'm not entirely certain, Lord Starscream."

Starscream pulled back from where he was leering over the mech and folded his servos behind his back and snorted dryly, "Send Hook a sample of the energon and order the crew to use the default rations. Otherwise, these mechs reporting symptoms are return to their duties. If they still function, they will still work. Understood?"

"Yessir, my lord!" Hardtop saluted smartly, relieved to not be punished for reporting the problem.

The seeker stood there for a long moment, seeming to stare right through him and the Lieutenant wondered if there was something else he should be waiting for.

"Is there anything else, Lord Starscream?" Hardtop ventured hesitantly, starting to feel uncomfortable just standing there with the elite seeker staring at him.

"Hmm…?" Starscream hemmed distractedly before noticing the nervous mech in front of him. "What are you still standing around for! Get back to work!" he snapped irritably, crimson optics flashing coldly.

"Sir!" Hardtop saluted once more for good measure and rushed off in a slightly less than dignified manner.

Starscream however, hardly noticed the mech's departure and instead was staring intently at the distant view of Earth's blue sphere. His spark pulsed insistently, aching deep within his spark chamber despite the lingering effects of the dampener.

Pivoting smoothly on one thruster, the seeker exited the command center with hardly a second thought.

His processors rang with his sparkling's cry that had somehow come through Barricade's static filled comlink and his spark burned with concern at a level he rarely was used to feeling. Concern was not an emotion commonly exercised within Decepticon ranks; the only exception for him being his trine mates.

What he felt now, this was far more spark deep then even that.

/ _I'll be returning to the Nemesis shortly. Stay with 'Warp in case he comes out of stasis./_

Starscream told Thundercracker gently, feeling his brother's worried prodding through the bond.

 _/But where are you going, Star?/_

Starscream debated telling him, starting from the very beginning and explaining everything, but now was not the time. He might explain later when he had the chance, but at that moment the urgency building up in his spark would not allow for any distractions.

/ _Out. I will be back soon./_ Starscream responded vaguely before snapping the bond closed with a barely noticeable hitch in his movements as he walked down the corridors of the Nemesis.

The red and grey seeker simply gritted his denta and continued on, the long strides of his gait carrying a slightly more forced grace than before. He couldn't close off his brother completely, but he could at least keep him from knowing his thoughts and intentions. He could still feel him and he could feel the worry emanating from his side of the bond, but was also relieved that Thundercracker wasn't going to press him for answers.

It was good to know that he had some level of trust rebuilt with his brother.

Starscream vented deeply as he stepped out into the cold vacuum outside on the Nemesis flight deck. He wasted no time in transforming and jetting off towards the small blue planet and the human child that his spark had claimed.

* * *

Alexis scrubbed her face roughly as she picked herself up off the ground. She was exhausted emotionally and physically and desperately needed to find a place to pee.

She had spent the last several hours screaming and crying, trying to get some reaction from Barricade's still form collapsed inside the alcove, but to no avail. She had tried everything that she could think of to wake him up, to the point that she had swung a pipe hard enough to leave a small dent on his forearm.

At that point she realized that he wasn't going to wake up.

She was numb, to be honest.

She had no way of knowing if he was actually dead... or if he was just in recharge or stasis or whatever it was called.

Alexis hoped and prayed that is was the latter.

If Barricade was just sleeping, then it stood to reason that he would wake up again at some point. Right?

The small girl didn't know.

Barricade had collapsed early in the evening after dragging himself back that afternoon. She had stayed by his side throughout the night and most of the next day, rotating between bawling her eyes out and determinedly attempting to somehow patch a few of the massive wounds that slowly bled energon all over the alcove's dirty floor.

Alexis wasn't sure if she had actually accomplished anything or not, but she had at least managed to get away with only one red patch of skin where she had gotten the glowing blue blood on her arm.

Her most recent outburst left her out of breath and her face red and tear-stained.

She didn't want to be alone again. Barricade had been her only comfort in Starscream's absence, and while he couldn't fill the aching cold eating at her insides, his presence was at least enough to keep it at bay.

She missed Starscream.

She missed him more than anything else and it hurt inside to not know how long it would be before he saw him again.

Alexis needed him to come back and make everything better.

She didn't sit around for much longer after scrubbing her face and relieving herself, deciding that she needed to keep moving. She _had_ to keep moving. Just do something to stay busy and feel useful and to keep her thoughts from spinning out of control.

She needed to find some more water soon, so that what Alexis steeled herself to do until… until she knew what else to do.

She didn't know how she would manage without Barricade or Starscream.

The small girl shouldered her knapsack and stepped out of the alcove into the sharp mid morning sun and a brisk wind that send shivers down her spine even as she tucked her oversized hoodie closer to her body. Alexis took a deep breath and stood still for a few moments, listening to the wind whistle past her ears.

She could do this. She had done it before Barricade and survived just fine on her own. She would just keep on surviving until Starscream came back.

Because Starscream would come back.

He had promised.

Alexis knew that he wouldn't lie to her, she had felt it when he was close and she heard his spark. He _would_ come back.

She just didn't know when.

Alexis had barely started her trek towards a known stockpile underneath the ruins of an old convenience store, when something stopped her in her tracks and almost had her stumbling.

Her heart rate picked up when she identified the feeling.

 _Starscream._

Hardly a few seconds later, the sky cracked with the echoing thunder of someone breaking the sound barrier and a familiar jet streaked across the horizon.

Alexis didn't think, she didn't pause long enough to care about anything else before she was running as fast as she could back towards the alcove.

She sprinted there in no time at all while the jet circled above as it descended rapidly.

Huffing, Alexis threw her knapsack to the side and struggled to catch her breath as she watched the figure she knew to be Starscream transform mid-air and land heavily, making the ground shake beneath her.

A grin split her face open as she rushed to the massive mech.

"Starscream!"

The red and grey seeker barely processed the shrill cry before a small body impacted with his pede and he looked down to see the bedraggled human child clinging to him for dear life.

His spark swelled with a mixture of relief, confusion, and an overwhelming need to protect the sparkling.

But the tension was gone. Just like that, his spark felt normal and content. Starscream could have laughed at how easy it was, except for the part of him that raged with confusion made him want to gut something.

He would do both for his sparkling.

Starscream tsked lowly as he reached down to pick up the small girl, "If you are not careful you will burn yourself on my thrusters, scraplet."

Alexis pulled back, but didn't crawl up into his open servo like he expected. Instead she shook her head roughly and it was then that he noticed how particularly awful she looked. She was crying.

"You have to help Barricade!" She insisted, roughly pulling on a digit as if she could drag him into the alcove.

Starscream's crimson optics narrowed sharply and he swept the girl up into his servo, "Why would Barricade require my assistance? He is a capable mech." He chided her as he brought his servo protectively to his chassis. He only came to assist her, not Barricade.

"No!" She cried, "You're not list'ning! The _Autzobats_ hurt him bad!"

Starscream paused sharply, his optics fully focusing on her now. "The Autobots are here!?" He demanded sharply, filing away her badly attempted pronunciation of Neocybex for another time.

Alexis shook her head away, her brown eyes filling up with a fresh cascade of tears. "No. H-he kept them away, b-but h-e's hurt bad."

Starscream didn't respond, instead sending a ping to Barricade's comlink and frowning darkly when there was no response.

"Please, Stars-scream! I don't want 'Cade to die!"

"Hush, scraplet!" He commanded roughly, "Where is he now?"

Alexis's lips trembled, but she pointed quickly at the alcove.

Starscream shuttered his optics briefly before venting heavily and ducking into the entrance.

Once inside he cursed harshly under his breath and set the girl to the side near the pile of tarps and blankets in the corner. "Primus fraggit, Barricade!"

The former enforcer looked like he'd been through a brawl with a trash compactor and came out on the losing side. By far not the worst he had ever seen the black and white mech, but that didn't mean he was looking very good. It certainly was not something Starscream had prepared to deal with.

Growling lowly, he un-subspaced his field repair kit and set to work on at least setting up some rudimentary patches so that Barricade wouldn't leak it all out the klick he got some energon in him.

Judging from his scans, he'd only been in stasis for three or four joors so there was relatively no risk in simply triggering a manual reactivation once he'd given him a small transfusion. Not that Starscream would care. He needed the mech fully operational so that he could interrogate the slag out of him and then beat him back into stasis for leaving his sparkling vulnerable.

Starscream paused.

Okay, so he still would have done the same in any other situation, but it struck him just how easy it was for him to want to protect Alexis in _this_ situation.

"Starscream?" said small girl called his name hesitantly. He hadn't even noticed her approach. "Will Barricade be okay?"

The red and grey seeker glanced down at her curiously. How intriguing. It seemed that somehow his scout had earned to affections of the child as well. Not entirely surprising considering the girl's nature, but still interesting. He'd expected Barricade to at least try to keep the girl from attaching herself to him.

"He will recover." Starscream didn't do much to hide the resignation in his tone.

Alexis swallowed and glanced at Barricade's still form and the new patches and welds along his chassis and thighs.

"How the Autobots find you?" Starscream rumbled darkly, his tone making question not optional.

The small girl shook her head, her limp hair whipping into her face with the motion. "They did'n find me at all. Just Barricade. He led them away."

"He left you unguarded?!" Starscream questioned through gritted denta.

Alexis hesitated and fisted her small hands into her messy ponytail, "Yes." She answered softly, thinking about how terrified she had been when Barricade had left and not come back for several days.

The seeker growled lowly, his spark thrumming with protective indignation. Barricade had been given the simple task of keeping the Autobots away and protecting the girl, both of which he managed to slag up completely.

Starscream felt some small, miniscule relief that Barricade had been able to draw the Autobots away, however it was still clear to him that the area was not nearly as abandoned as he had originally believed.

But that was a thought for later.

Barricade would be coming out of stasis soon and Starscream planned on having… a discussion with the scout.


	26. Chapter 26

**A** **N:**

 **Well guys, it's been awhile hasn't it?**

 **First of all, Happy New Years to all my wonderful readers and thank you so so much for being a part of this story. Each and everyone one of you are inspirations to me and a huge support to this story!**

 **Secondly, I must apologize for how long its taken for this chapter to come out. I have a lot of excuses though. *cries* I've been under a whole lotta slag recently with struggling to pass my exams, Christmas, New Years, my dad having his 3** **rd** **surgery this year on his leg, as well as starting up art commissions on my tumblr and DA. Thankfully everything has turned out okay for now and so I can finally get back to writing!**

 **I can't tell you how great it is to be able to post another chapter! I missed this so much to be honest and it feels really good to be writing again!**

 **To Guest:** Thanks so much for the lovely comment! Unfortunately, I think FFnet cut your review off short!

 **To Sunsetwater** **:** You are right about Skywarp and locking onto spark signatures, but it's still not entirely normal -especially for a mostly dead mech. Thanks for the input though! The way I see it is that Starscream is a very fact driven mech and he doesn't like things to just happen without proven cause, so he chooses to deny things until proven. Sorry for such the long wait and I hope you enjoy the chapter!

 **To MadnessJones:** Barricade is indeed in trouble, but don't worry, I won't hurt him too badly! XD Thanks for reviewing!

 **To lizyeh2000: ** She is indeed at that, much like the scraplet he has taken to calling her! Hope you enjoy this update as well!

 **To Yogurt Bread:** Thanks so much for the kind review!

 **To BarricadesDemon216** **:** Haha, I'm glad you liked my version of Hook! Thanks for understanding about Uni and stuff as well, you're an amazing person and I really appreciate the encouragement!

 **To himelove22: ** Yep, 'Cade is definitely in trouble! Thanks for reviewing and I hope you enjoy this update!

 **To SunnySides: ** Lol, I always love reading your reactions to each chapter! Here's the update, it's not soon by any means, but it's finally here!

 **To Purest of the Hearts :** Don't worry! Barricade isn't dying yet! Haha XD. But yes, he's not going to be a happy camper when 'Screamer gets through with him. And you are dead right about Thundercracker, but shh, don't get too far ahead!

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

* * *

 **Always**

" _The reason people find it so hard to be happy is that they always see the past better than it was, the present worse than it is, and the future less resolved than it will be."_

 _Marcel Pagnol_

 **Chapter Twenty-Six**

Alexis milled around the alcove for what felt like ages as they waited for Barricade to come out of stasis. Starscream had settled nearby outside after listening to her pace and sigh for all of twenty minutes. He had given her a sharp look, but she had ignored it with a scowl. She had to keep moving.

She followed Starscream outside after a few more minutes of distracted pacing and one last glance at Barricade's unmoving frame.

She had a lot of questions, but now didn't feel like the right time to start digging for answers.

She tried to tell herself that it was okay. That she would understand in time. That Starscream would explain everything eventually even though she knew it was a false hope. She figured that she would just have to be patient, but that was easier said than done.

Alexis liked to think that she was pretty patient for her age all things considered. She did find herself waiting a lot. But in reality, she had no patience whatsoever and any she did have was a cold lesson never quite learned.

The small girl looked up at the large span of wall littered with faint lines, each one representing a day since Starscream had first found her. One mark for every night she remembered. She had long since given up on counting each mark, just adding a new one each day out of habit. They seemed to lose their meaning the longer that she was in the ruins. Everything seemed to lose meaning out here.

It was more like time seemed to lose its meaning.

She kept putting up a new mark every day, but it wasn't as important to her. It was just another part of her routine.

Routine was important to her. Vital even. When she had nothing else to rely on she could just keep on doing the same thing she always did. The sun would set and then she could start again. And that kept her sane.

No that wasn't true. She knew she was mostly not crazy, but it was hard to tell sometimes. The days she screamed until her throat was raw made her feel slightly less than sane. Or patient for that matter.

But then there was Starscream, she could rely on Starscream.

That was the only reason she was still alive. Except for Barricade. Her guardian hadn't always been there for her, but whenever she needed him most he showed up and that was almost enough. She needed him with every bone and ache in her body. Whenever he was gone it felt like she was just a cold and empty shell just waiting to come back to life when he returned.

Barricade was her friend, if one stretched the meaning of the word, her mentor; but it was Starscream that she needed.

Was it a normal thing, to be so dependent on someone who wasn't even human, like she was? Alexis didn't know and it hurt to try and contemplate it too much. Nothing in her life was normal.

Probably the fact that she even was alive wasn't normal. She swallowed thickly.

"Starscream?" Alexis found herself asking softly. "Why did you save me?"

Looking down at her feet the way she was she couldn't have seen the way the seeker's frame stiffened at her question, but she felt his tension none the less.

He took a long time before answering, and Alexis worried that maybe he wasn't going to answer. But eventually he shifted, looking at her unwaveringly with crimson optics.

"Because," Starscream started, thinking hard. Why had he saved her. Because his spark insisted? Because he had to? "Because you were there." He finally wound up saying simply.

It was the most straightforward answer he could give. There were so many things that could have contributed to his saving of the tiny human child; for all he knew it was a processor glitch from his injuries at the time.

Alexis frowned, finding that his answer wasn't what she had hoped it would be. She honestly didn't know what she wanted to hear though, so she decided to take her guardian's word for what it was. She could at least believe that he wouldn't lie to her.

 _But why was she here? Why was she alone?_

The small girl opened her mouth to ask just that when a loud crash make her jump and sent her clumsily tumbling near the edge of the outcropping she had climbed up to be nearer to the massive seeker beside her.

She wasn't even falling long enough to let out much more than a short yelp when she landed with a soft thud inside the curve of Starscream's servo.

Her eyes widened as her heart started pounding rapidly and she smiled nervously up at the mech glancing down at her with sharp red optics. Starscream's lip plates pursed disapprovingly but he said nothing, choosing instead to investigate the source of the commotion.

Alexis swallowed thickly and clung to Starscream's thumb like her life depended on it. Starscream in turn had brought his servo close to his chest plates as he ducked into the alcove. Her heart felt like it was beating loud enough to hear, but it wasn't herself she was afraid for.

The small cavernous inside had partially caved in and dust floated heavily in the air, swirling around the seeker's frame as he moved. Alexis pulled the edge of her sleeve to her mouth to filter the air so that she wouldn't choke.

A loud creak of buckled plating alerted Starscream to a movement on his right and he whipped around too fast for Alexis to track while cupped her in his servo and Barricade found himself pinned to the crumbling wall of the alcove by his throat.

"Stand down, Barricade. You don't even have enough power to fire that thing." Starscream growled darkly.

The black and white enforcer's plasma blaster powered down with a low whine and Barricade slumped against the wall with a pained groan.

"My apologies, Starscream, I believed you to be an _Atzohbohtz_."

The seeker released the damaged enforcer and he slid the rest of the way down to the floor, "Just be thankful I didn't shoot you where you stood." Starscream scoffed, as he glanced down at the girl in his servo.

Alexis blinked rapidly at the dust floating around and sneezed, not once, not twice, but three times before rubbing her eyes. A grin split her face wide and her brown eyes locked onto Barricade's face and dim, but still aware optics.

"'Cade!" she exclaimed happily as she leaned over Starscream's digits. "You're okay!"

Barricade made a face, he wasn't really all that 'okay', but he was at the very least functional and that was better than being offline. "Close enough." He grunted weakly with a shallow optic roll at the naive girl.

The sarcasm went right over the human girl's head, but Barricade felt the slightest bit relieved that he had at least managed to keep the Autobot scum away from the girl.

Starscream's servo tightened a fraction around the human child he had claimed as he watched Alexis's brief interactions with Barricade. His spark whirled tightly and his optics narrowed at the reaction.

Alexis glanced at Starscream, confused by the sudden sour feeling in her stomach.

The seeker set her on the ground gently, his digits easily pulling out of her reach.

"Wait outside." Starscream stated tonelessly.

Alexis's face scrunched up, not sure what was going on. Whatever it was she didn't like the dark feeling she was getting from her guardian. "I wanna stay here." She whined softly.

Starscream didn't allowed himself to look back down at her face as he repeated himself once more, this time more harshly. "Go outside, Alexis."

"...but-"

"Now!" Starscream barked, effectively cutting her off.

Alexis jerked back and bit her lip to keep it from trembling, but the tears were already falling. He wouldn't even look at her. Why wouldn't he look at her?!

With a choked sob, the small girl scrambled out of the alcove.

Just as soon as Starscream judged her to be out of hearing range he threw a clenched servo into the wall just a few inches from Barricade's helm, causing the already destabilizing building to shudder and rain down more debris on the two mechs.

Barricade didn't flinch. He didn't show any reaction to the seeker's display despite the new hole next to his helm. Not that his reflexes were very effective at this point in time.

"I understand that you led the Autobots away from the girl."

The black and white scout nodded jerkily and grunted.

Starscream vented harshly and pulled a field repair kit from his subspace before tossing it roughly at Barricade.

"I suppose I should thank you then, but I rather enjoy watching you squirm." Starscream drawled coolly, his posture at ease but his tone menacing.

Barricade vented slightly, but that was his only sign of irritation towards the seeker. "I did not intend to engage the scout, only to lead him away from the girl."

"Hmm, yes, well I can see how well that worked out for you." Starscream snorted.

The red and grey seeker crouched down and jerked the repair kit open and started working on the large gash on the scout's side with quick and efficient movements. Barricade hissed and strained to hold still; efficient by no means meant painless.

The two were silent for short moment.

"I don't understand it. Why did you come back?"

Starscream didn't respond immediately, his digits working smoothly on splicing a coolant conduit back together. Barricade couldn't know of his... connection to the girl. It was bad enough that he knew of his claim on her, knowing the details would only make things more complicated than they needed to be.

"You opened your comlink briefly before going into stasis lock." Starscream stated simply, pinching a wire a bit harder than was necessary.

Barricade flinched, but continued his prodding anyways.

"Yes, I know." He grunted, before smirking slightly, "I'm touched that you found it in your spark to care about my wellbeing."

"I care little for you, _enforcer_ ," Starscream hissed, taunting the mech with his former title. "My only priority is the human."

The black and white mech frowned but decided that he was too exhausted to continue fighting with the mech that was supposedly repairing him. Barricade knew that there was something about the girl that Starscream just wasn't going to tell him and that was fine with him for now. He could in fact be patient. Not that Starscream's secrecy would last for long; he was sure it would only take a question and the human girl would tell him everything concerning the seeker.

Starscream finished his work on Barricade's side and pulled away, casually flicking a drop of the enforcer's own energon onto the mech it came from.

"Well, I guess you'll live." The seeker stated vaguely as he inspected his digits and briefly wiped them down with a rag from him subspace. "Alexis will be pleased, no doubt." He said, his tone clearly not expressing the same relief as his ward would.

Starscream prodded the bond gently to call the girl back, making a face when her unskilled attempts at responding echoed through his spark roughly.

Shortly after Alexis's head poked around the corner, her face red and puffy as she brushed her hair from her face.

Starscream's spark pricked him sharply in response to seeing her obvious distress at being sent away.

"Come here, scraplet." Starscream ordered lightly, almost kindly despite the slight edge to his words.

Alexis looked at him carefully for a long moment before sidling out from around the corner, her knapsack clutched tightly in her arms.

"Is- is 'Cade okay?" She asked quietly, unsure what his mood would be like since she left. He hadn't been very nice since he came back and she hated it when he yelled at her. It made her feel tiny and useless and sick on the inside.

It wasn't even the yelling that was the worst part, it was the feelings she could feel coming from Starscream that made her want to throw up. They were very very bad and she was too young to understand most of the feelings except to know that they felt almost evil.

Starscream's optics narrowed, not pleased that her first concern would be the injured scout. "He is fine." The seeker stated curtly.

Alexis glanced over at the black and white mech slumped against the wall and then turned back to Starscream doubtfully.

Barricade chuckled weakly at the seeker's expression, "She learns quick for a human doesn't she, 'Screamer?"

Any response Starscream might have had for the scout was promptly drowned out by the flood of glee coming from the small child sprinting past his pedes. " _'Cade!_ " Alexis squealed happily as she scaled Barricade's armour with a swift familiarity that made Starscream's spark _burn_. "You're al'ight!" She grinned and placed her hands on either side of the black and white mech's faceplates, arms stretched wide in the closest she could get to a hug.

Barricade didn't say much, not wanting to move his face while she clung to him and grunted a soft confirmation.

"I- I told you he was fine, did I not?" Starscream sputtered slightly, his tone increasing fractionally.

Alexis turned and scowled at her guardian, "I wanted to make sure of it for myself." She snapped irritably. Then she smirked marginally and planted a big sloppy kiss on Barricade's cheek plate.

Starscream's spark flared hot with jealousy. The bearings of that girl!

Barricade guffawed weakly, his systems falling back into repair mode. Ever so slowly he pulled the girl off of his face by the folds of her hoody and placed her disgruntled form back on the ground.

Alexis squawked in annoyance when she was swiftly scooped back up by Starscream before she even had time to regain her balance. "Hey!"

Her ire was short lived however, because her attention was quickly drawn to Barricade's slumped form as his systems gusted choppily and his optics darkened. The small girl's eyes widened in concern and she leaned precariously over the edge of Starscream's servo before he got a better hold on the squirming child.

"Stop your incessant moving! Barricade is fine, he's just gone into recharge." Starscream barked lightly, his tone more resigned than anything else at this point.

Alexis rubbed her face roughly, wide brown eyes glancing upwards. "He jus' sleep'n?" she asked for confirmation.

The seeker vented heavily, "Yes."

"Oh." The small girl sniffled once more and was finished. "Okay."

She gave him a sheepish smile and hugged his digit tightly and Starscream's spark felt ten times lighter than it had been before. He quelled the feeling best he could, the warmth of it making his helm spin as if he'd overclocked a processor.

"Better now?" He asked softly, that same warmth managing to leach through his vocals.

Primus help him he was helpless when it came to this tiny child.

Alexis nodded, but didn't let go of his digit. She couldn't. Not without risking him leaving her again so soon. "…missed you." She mumbled vaguely into the strange warm metals of his finger her questions and worries forgotten for the moment.

She felt Starscream's servo tighten just the slightest around her, "I- I missed you as well, scraplet." He answered hesitantly, stumbling over the soft words.

Suddenly, Alexis let go of his digits and scrambled down his arm and onto the ground before he could even process her movements. She grinned up at him, brown eyes glinting mischievously at his somewhat stunned expression.

"I have somethin' I wanna show you! Com'on!" She told him excitedly.

Starscream sat bemusedly in the alcove for the next few minutes as she ran back and forth with armfuls of the things that she had found or that Barricade had brought for her. She was like a sparkling showing all her toys to her friends, Starscream thought briefly. He found he enjoyed listening to her idle prattle though, so he listened carefully as she recounted how she found or collected each item.

So far she had found a broken hand mirror and had told him very seriously that it was special because some beast of sorts had used it to find a bell. If his face plates had shown confusion, Alexis pretended not to notice. Next she had delighted in demonstrating how she brushed her hair with a small handled brush. Her hair was dirty and grimy, but the girl cared little as long as it was smooth to the touch.

Starscream's spark twisted tightly at the sight of her, his focus beyond her words and attuned steadfastly on her movements and appearance. She was small, she had always been small, but now she was tiny -sickly and frail looking. Wide brown eyes cast shadows on sunken cheeks and the bundles layers she wore did nothing to hide the way her bones stuck out of the over-sized clothing.

This was not enough for anyone to live. And it was certainly not enough for _his_ sparkling.

"Starscream?"

The hesitant calling of his designation brought his attention back to the child crawling up the side of his thrusters and onto his legs.

Alexis looked up at him, hundreds of questions burning in her gaze, but she only asked one. "Is everything alright, Starscream?"

Starscream ex-vented slowly, "Ah, no. Everything is not alright, my spark, but it is better now that I am here." The seeker found his own usage of endearment confusing, but shuffled it away to process later, instead focusing on how his sparkling's face lit up with delight at his words.

It was a most disarming reaction for him. His words were not usually the kind that warranted any kind of positive feedback, much less to the extend they seemed to bring this tiny human.

"I _really_ missed you." Alexis said meaningfully, repeating her earlier words.

Starscream spark hummed lightly at this and Alexis smiled, reaching one small fleshy hand to press up against his chassis to feel the vibrations.

Then he saw that strangely familiar glint in her eyes before she started scaling the front side of his chassis, up alongside the smooth glass of his cockpit and then towards the venting panels towards the top.

Starscream said nothing aloud, but his shock was clearly telegraphed through the strengthening bond. Alexis giggled and kept climbing, slipping up only once and even then she caught herself before he could react to catch her.

Apparently reaching the place where she wanted to be, Alexis curled up contentedly above the seeker's spark -nestled tightly in the panelling around his vents.

"What do you think you're doing, scraplet?" Starscream asked incredulously at the child, but she was already fast in recharge judging by the dormancy in their connection.

Starscream felt no pressing need to remove her and decided to review his data on human development and the experiments done on the energon he'd brought to the Nemesis.

* * *

Alexis woke up groggily, the distant pulling sensation in her chest too strong to be ignored.

"Starscream?" she yawned, stretching carefully from her perch on the seekers chassis.

She waited a few moments, but there was no response from her guardian. He must be sleeping then, she reasoned.

"In recharge," she corrected herself out loud.

Alexis hummed absently, her brow furrowed as she prodded the connection with Starscream. It was hard to hold onto the link. It was always there, ever present but she could only _just_ feel it and she could never quite reach it. Every time she thought she'd gotten close enough to grasp it, the wisp of a bond slipped right through her mind.

Alexis growled lowly in her throat, a sound not usually heard from small girl's such as herself. It was wild and feral sounding, betraying her time spent with only Barricade for company.

Tugging roughly at her end the best she could, she waited.

She could feel more than hear the shift in the thrumming vibrations of Starscream's spark, but other than that there was no response.

Alexis huffed agitatedly at this and set about to climbing the rest of the way up to Starscream's shoulder.

The pulling sensation continued, but she had determined that it wasn't Starscream. His touch was distinctive and when she felt him it was just about the only time she could really touch the bond. This was not that.

This… This felt far more clouded, like seeing someone from behind a thick curtain.

Alexis was confused. This hadn't happened before.

Scrunching her face up in concentration she pressed hard into the fog, only to have it smother her and leave her gasping for air.

A twinge of fear seeped through her. Whatever it was had noticed her.

Only then did Starscream start to shift, sensing her fear flowing through him like a sieve. There was a single brush of reassurance and then all pit broke loose.

A harsh crack echoed in the air and the smell of burnt air followed soon after. Without thinking, Starscream reacted -plucking Alexis off of his shoulder and throwing her to the side. The small girl screamed as she landed on her pile of tarps and bounced off of the wall, cracking her head harshly against the cement in the process.

There was a bright flash of purple and then her vision went black.


	27. Chapter 27

**A** **N:**

 **Hello again everyone! I must apologize a hundred times over for making you all wait so long for this chapter! Starting my second year of my double degrees has been far more intensive and between work and uni I literally don't have enough time to even sleep properly. My health has been steadily declining as well since I can't seem to keep my blood sugars in order and I have a nasty chest cough that won't seem to ever go away. I've never used an inhaler in my life until this cough started making it so that I could hardly breathe some nights. My doctors say I don't have a chest infection or anything that they can prescribe medication for, but I'm going back this week to see if anything has changed since I'm not getting better.**

 **Anyways, enough about me! I'm going to just get on with the chapter and forgo responding to reviews this time. Don't worry though, I have read all them and they seriously make me wonder how I got such amazing readers for this story! Thank you so much!**

 **Enjoy!**

* * *

 _Disclaimer: I do not and never have or will own The Transformers or any of the transformers characters and franchise. I only own my OC Alexis and the plot._

 _Beta read by my amazing sister, subterraneangem!_

* * *

 **Always**

 _"Time is always harder on the quiet days,_

 _Brings back up that old sacrifice:_

 _You've cost me more than I ever knew before,_

 _And looking back I cannot deny."_

\- Phildel, Mistakes

 **Chapter Twenty-Seven**

Starscream felt the slight whisper of change in his spark mere astroseconds before all pit broke loose and it was still far too late. His spark screamed in a confused mixture of terror and delight and utter confusion that was enough to nearly make his short a processor.

The sound of crashing metal and the stale scent of burnt ozone told him who it was just a moment after his spark lit up.

His brothers were _here_.

 **Alexis.**

Starscream had reacted on instinct, throwing her to the side just a click before he found himself at the bottom of the heap of seekers suddenly occupying the room. His spark froze at the sound of her screams and he frantically fought to push his brother's off of him.

The trine bond was alight with chaos.

Pain. Sickening fear. Rage. Confusion. Curiosity and caution.

Thundercracker moved first, the slight disorientation from the warp doing little to hinder his function, and struggled to push Skywarp over to free him and his brother.

"Get _off_!" Starscream screeched, his tone nearing panicked. "Get the slag off me!"

Thundercracker moved swiftly, his processors catching up to the tidal wave of emotions sweeping through their bonds. It was too much, too soon, after being completely blocked off. Skywarp lurched and the purple seeker purged weakly to the side, his still recovering processors unable to handle the chaotic imput of the bond in addition to the after effects of the warp.

Concern flooded Starscream's spark. How were they even here? Skywarp hadn't even come out of stasis when he had left, how the pit had he managed to warp all the way to fragging E _arth?_

Finally free of most of Thundercracker and Skywarp's weight, Starscream was able to move and shoved Thundercracker the rest of the way off.

"Why the pit are you here?!" He demanded furiously.

Thundercracker's faceplates darkened in a glower as he supported Skywarp, "Don't you mean why the _pit_ are you back on Earth?" He snapped back coldly as he scooped Skywarp mostly into his lap to cradle the weaker brother.

Skywarp reacted little, groaning slightly and curling up tightly to his brother -leaching what bit of comfort he could from the rampant waves of emotion seething through their bonds. Starscream froze in the middle of his demands, feeling Skywarp's spark latch onto his with a hesitant touch. Ever since they had found him back on Cybertron, he had been able to feel Warp's presence, but it had been too weak to fully reconnect their bond.

Starscream's optics softened just the slightest as he fed reassurance and tender feelings through the bond until the purple seeker settled completely.

The two seekers shifted uneasily in the silence, the bond twisting and writhing underneath the perceived calm layered around their brother.

Thundercracker broke the quite first.

"Look, Star, I don't really care why you decided to come here." The blue seeker started, sounding tired and stressed. "All I know is that you weren't there when we needed you -when Skywarp needed you."

Starscream refused to look his brother in the optic at his words.

"When Skywarp woke up he went ballistic when you weren't there. It took me nearly a joor just to get him to recognize me enough to open his end of the bond." Thundercracker continued, not trying to guilt trip his brother, but try and get him to at least understand what he was doing to them.

Whether he realized or not, he was tearing them apart -tearing himself apart at the core.

Thundercracker paused, his faceplates twisting up into a pained expression. "Then we felt something else," he swallowed thickly, subconsciously pulling Skywarp closer to him. " _Someone_ else in the bond."

Starscream stiffened, his processor's running faster and faster until he could feel a helm ache coming on. It took him half a klick to pull himself together. How did he even begin to respond?

Back on Cybertron, back in Vos, for a trine member to introduce another to the bond without permission or knowledge of the entire trine was a taboo beyond words. It just didn't happen. Trines were the most sacred of seeker bonds and the foundations of most Vosian culture. To break that trust by bonding with another was unspeakable.

And here, he was, struggling to defend just that.

But, he argued with himself, Alexis was not Cybertronian and different rules applied to the situation. The bond they shared was piecemeal and fragile, nothing even remotely similar to the full bond shared between him and his trine.

This was completely different.

Right?

Starscream wasn't so sure his trine mates would be so willing to understand. Pit, most of the time _he_ was willing to understand.

"It's -it's not what you think it is TC, I swear to Primus." Starscream vented, his optics unconsciously sliding over the Alexis's still form hidden in the tarp's in the corner.

A wave of concern washed through him, he hadn't meant to throw her so roughly. What if he had hurt her or damaged her permanently somehow? He wouldn't be able to check on her until after he had dealt with…

Frag.

Thundercracker.

Starscream clamped down on his end of the bond with an iron grip, flinching at the cold look of betrayal his brother shot at him. His optics were like ice despite their red glow.

"Explain. _Now._ " Thundercracker demanded, his vocals stony.

Starscream stayed moodily silent.

"If it's not what I think it is, then you best start by telling me what the slag that just was!" The navy seeker told his brother, his tone raised and his words lurching with the threat of this betrayal.

"It…" Starscream fought for the right words, but the words that would always come to him to speak so smoothly never came. They never did, not where his trine was concerned.

 _It was a mistake._

There was a gasp in the corner and Starscream's helm snapped around to look at the child just barely conscious staring at him with teary brown eyes. It was then that he realized he had spoken the words aloud.

Alexis was only just aware enough to hear and instantly latch onto Starscream's voice, her only source of comfort while her head felt like someone had split it open and then hammered it back together. But the moment she found enough focus to understand the words, it felt like getting hit upside the head all over again.

" _W-what_ was a mis-stake?" Alexis struggled to even whisper the words.

Starscream's spark churned uneasily, a slow burn setting in far more painfully than anything else he had experienced in the short time he had claimed the girl.

Thundercracker had also noticed the human child, how could, did he not when his brothers bond was broadcasting so loudly he could hardly feel his own feelings on the matter. Feelings that normally would have included shock, a reasonable amount of distaste, and primarily confusion. For the moment however, all he felt was fear.

What had happened that Starscream could be so attached to a _human_?

How the flagging pit was it even possible to be attached the way he was? He could feel the human, the source of all the indistinguishable... static for lack of a more fitting term, flooding their trine bond since who knows how long.

It had been there ever since they had first reunited.

Thundercracker had assumed it was some type of side effect from having been so disconnected for so long. He hadn't even begun to think that his brother, the Starscream of all the mechs in this tiny galaxy, would have somehow bonded with a human child.

There were no words for his current state of mind.

He looked to his brother and waited to see what his move was. He didn't dare cross him. Not now, not with the echoes of guardian protocol ringing through the bond.

Starscream shuddered slightly and reached towards Alexis, his servos shaking imperceptibly to anyone who didn't know him.

The girl flinched away, wincing at her own movement.

"NO!" She was angry now, and hissed at him lowly and crouching into herself slightly. Defensive. Ready to run.

Starscream recognized it clearly.

"What was a mistake!?" she asked, her pitch choked and tight. Her eyes flicked briefly from Thundercracker and the unconscious Skywarp and then back to Starscream, her posture wound even tighter than before.

The seeker cringed, "That doesn't matter now scraplet, all that matters is that you are okay." He attempted to soothe.

"I'm _not_ okay!" Alexis bit out tersely, glaring darkly.

Starscream's systems choked, his spark rumbling unhappily.

Her next words, though, we're what finally spurred him into action.

"I'm a mistake..."

The barely whispered words sent Starscream's spark reeling and the feedback was enough to make Thundercracker flinching backwards in shock. The slightly larger seeker glanced at his brother in abject confusion, not understanding where this depth of emotion even came from.

Starscream swooped down in one swift motion, cupping Alexis tightly to his chassis. She struggled vainly for a few short moments, hissing unhappily before going limp and simply sobbing.

"Oh scraplet." He shushed awkwardly.

There was nothing he could really say to calm her and he wouldn't try. She was a mistake. She was _his_ mistake.

There was no point of trying to tell her otherwise.

"It's… difficult to explain, scraplet. Finding you was _never_ a mistake, the mistake was mine." It was his mistake was letting her live at all. His mistake for keeping her around. His mistake for coming back. But he didn't give voice to these thoughts. He knew them well enough from how many times he had told himself within his own processes. Not that he ever managed to convince his spark of it.

"But mistake or not you are mine." Starscream told her as softly as he could. He struggled to be gentle with her, gentle was not in his nature, but he did he best despite his fumbling and lack of knowledge. "Do you understand?"

He looked down at the tiny girl in his hands and how she struggled vainly to wipe the tears from her face with the dirty hem of her hoodie. Her hollow face was streaked with watermarks and accumulated grime, but her eyes still carried a haunted for of innocence.

Alexis nodded even though she didn't understand. Not anymore than she understood anything these days.

She had thought that maybe things would make more sense the longer she went, she'd thought that if she just toughed it out that things would get better and things would be explained to her if she just waited long enough. But she'd been waiting almost a year, a very very long time for a nine-year-old to spend the majority alone and things didn't make anymore sense then they did the first day she remembered meeting Starscream.

But she was nodding despite this.

Starscream was everything to her. So she kept nodding and looked up to his glowing red optics that seemed just that little bit less harsh when they were looking at her.

Nothing else mattered as long as she was with him.

She had decided that long ago.

"You have three kicks to start explaining things, Starscream, before I take Skywarp with me and _leave._ " Thundercracker finally spoke up, his bright red optics cool and calculating.

Starscream realized belatedly that this was not an idle statement. TC did not intend to come back. If he let his brother leave now, then they would both be lost to him again. Thundercracker was giving him a challenge and an ultimatum.

"TC," Starscream started, struggling to keep his vocalizer from cracking. "This is Alexis. She is my charge and is under my protection." He opened his servos to display the tiny human girl to the ever so slightly larger seeker.

Alexis squeaked at this betrayal and leapt to hide behind Starscream's thumb, clutching it tightly.

"I found her after wandering a few days in the ruins after the battle." He paused watching his spark claimed sparkling speculatively. "I, I cannot explain her connection to me... only that my spark has laid claim on her."

 _Against my will._

The words were not spoken, but Thundercracker heard them all the same.

A new understanding dawned on him, but he was still wary all the same. This was not normal, nor was it an easy thing to accept.

It was _wrong_.

He glanced again at the tiny human child clinging tightly to his brother's servo. She was a curious little creature he thought idly, contemplating her newfound existence in his life.

Alexis, finally giving up on her stare-down with Starscream, she looked back at the strange new seeker and the other one he had in his lap.

This seeker was just a little bit taller and slightly bulkier than her guardian and he was a dark blue colour all over. The seeker he held was even bulkier and probably shorter, but she couldn't tell since he hadn't stood up at all, and he was purple and black.

She hid back behind Starscream's thumb when the big blue one saw her looking at him.

What was it that Starscream called him?

TC!

She was pretty sure that was it. Maybe.

She peaked out to look at him again. He was still staring at her. She stared back curiously, her head tilting at an angle as she watched him.

"Hi?" she squeaked out shyly.

Thundercracker didn't move. He just keep staring.

Starscream prodded the bond roughly, urging his brother to respond. There was no response from there either.

Alexis frowned and a small scowl flickered across her face.

"I said hello! You're s'pose to say 'hi' back!" She told him vehemently.

By now she had come out from behind Starscream's servo and was standing stiffly on the end of his thigh.

She waited for a short moment for a response and got none and her fists balled up tightly by her sides. She turned to Starscream for help.

He just shook his helm.

He knew what his brother was doing now. He didn't approve, oh no he most certainly did not approve. But he did understand.

Thundercracker was testing her claim on his spark. If she passed she would be accepted without any qualms. If she didn't, then she would never be welcome in his brother's optics.

He just hoped that Alexis would figure it out as well.

Alexis let out another high pitched squeal of frustration and stomped off in a rush, fuming with anger and betrayal.

The small girl stormed off and headed straight towards Barricades unconscious form. He never asked her to do stupid things!

Well… Except for that time he dumper her in a hole and told her to climb out on her own. And when he made her search for him in the ruins in the dark. Okay so Barricade had made her do lots of dumb things, but she had to admit that even though she mostly hated him for doing them, she had learned a lot.

Alexis made a short sound of frustration and heaved herself over Barricade's armour to plop herself heavily on his shoulder. She glared daggers at the two mechs across the room and huffed when they weren't even looking at her to see how much she disliked them.

Especially Starscream. He should be helping her, not taking sides with this… this blue _dummy!_

She didn't understand what they wanted from her! How was she expected to know what they were thinking? It wasn't like she had a comlink in her head like they did!

Wait a second…

Maybe she _did._

Alexis's brow furrowed at this thought and what it would mean. Starscream refused to explain who this other seeker was to him, instead he just showed her off like some kind of trophy. She didn't like it.

A sour feeling welled up in her stomach and her throat tightened.

What would it mean for her if she could actually feel him too? Not just Starscream?

Alexis didn't know.

Cautiously, she probed at Starscream, grappling internally for the string that seems just beyond her reach. _There!_

Starscream stiffened and turned from where he had been watching Thundercracker to the small child sitting on Barricades shoulder guard.

Waves of immense fear and anxiety washed through his systems. Doubt and frustration following like an ebbing tide and Starscream began to understand what his sparkling was trying to covey. His optics narrowed, landing on his glitch-afted brother who was stubbornly refusing to meet his gaze or respond to his barrage on their bond.

Starscream sent a blanket of comfort to Alexis, pointedly making a point to let Thundercracker feel it.

Because whether he was responding or not, Thundercracker could feel everything going on in the bond, and Starscream fully intended to take full advantage of that.

Alexis basked for only a short moment in the comfort he sent her, returning with questions and insecurity.

Ah. So that was her problem. Starscream could have laughed at his jealous little sparkling. Humans seemed to be such possessive creatures he was realizing with no small amount of amusement.

The small girl glared daggers at the seeker from across the room and Starscream sobered marginally, but a small smirk lingered on his mouthplates.

 _Technically he came first scraplet,_ Starscream told her dryly through the bond.

Her response was the equivalent of a pout before she let the threads go a day her presence became more of a muted echo.

Alexis sighed, breathing deeply and feeling very tired all of the sudden. Bond talk was not easy on the small human and never failed to make her exhausted beyond reason.

But she wouldn't give up yet.

Not when she still haddock to prove herself to Starscream's... Starscream's what? She didn't quite understand what these two were to each other, except that they were very close. And then there was the third one who was unconscious or in recharge or something. Alexis wasn't sure where he fit in either, but she got the feeling he was connected to her guardian and TC as well.

Either way, she had a feeling she wasn't going to be so alone anymore if she went through with all this.

And that was the thought that finally spurred her into action.

She couldn't be alone anymore.

So she reached.

She prodded deeper than she ever had before, a pressure building in her chest like nothing she had felt before as she strained for the connection that whispered at the edge of the already watery bond between her and Starscream.

Alexis jerked slightly when she felt the solemn presence echoing in her mind, feeling its unfamiliar identity and pushing further still.

 _~Hello?~_

The unspoken word was heard ringing tentatively and Thundercracker's optics widened, his attention fully focused on the tiny human girl. Starscream smirked unashamedly at this, leaning comfortably against the wall as he watched the scene unfold before him.

Thundercracker would have shot his brother a glare, but he was far to attuned to this human in the bond to be bothered.

 _/Hello, sparkling./_

Thundercracker would never understand where the word came from or why he used it to address a human, but it felt right, so he decided not to question it. He had enough to question already, and Starscream certainly would be doing some answering in the near future.

Alexis let out a very inhuman sounding squeal that echoed sharply within the confines of the alcove that almost had the two conscious mechs wincing at its pitch.

Moving from where she had fallen, Alexis ran headfirst towards the blue seeker and launched herself into his upper leg with her full bodyweight and clung to him like some type of mentally challenged scraplet.

Thundercracker was in shock, both confused and seriously tempted to start laughing. He shot his Starscream an expression of utter helplessness and an emotion very much conveying a _'what the slag?!'_ through the bond.

Starscream just shrugged, knowing just how easy it was to earn the child's affections. It seemed that for all that she was wronged, all you had to do was be there and you would have her love without question.

The blue seekers optics narrowed and he glanced back to the girl clinging limply to his leg.

He wasn't entirely certain what this was, but he wasn't necessarily opposed.

Thundercracker was many things, but ignorant was not one of them. He also was not so naive as to think that anything good could come from this in the long run.

Humans did not live long. He knew this. Starscream also knew this. Thundercracker didn't not understanding why his brother would waste his time on this tiny wisp of a life when he had no qualms slaughtering hundreds more of her kind just weeks ago. But then, when he looked at the tiny girl who now appeared to be in recharge against his servos, when he felt the bond she inexplicably shared with his brother and now himself, he found he could not bring himself to follow the logical course.

TC sighed with resignation.

Starscream smirked, feeling his brothers turbulent thoughts.

/ _Soft touch/_

Thundercracker rolled his optics. / _Looks who's talking/_

Starscream hemmed softly in response and moved slightly to gently remove Alexis from his brothers leg and settled down close to him and pulled part of Skywarp's weight onto his own legs before cupping the girl in his servos close to his spark.

Thundercracker vented softly in amusement and shifted ever so slightly closer to Starscream, his em field brushing comfortably against his trine mates. The two were silent for a long moments before Thundercracker spoke.

"How do you think Skywarp will react?" He spoke out loud, vocals rumbling lowly.

Starscream sighed and absently brushed his free servo against the purple seekers helm, "There is no telling. I suspect with the both of us already connected to her, he should accept her with open arms."

It was left unsaid that they honestly had no idea if their third trine mate would even be the same person they had known before. Before the accident. So far, the only time that Skywarp had been awake was just long enough for him to keep warping back to Starscream.

And while that was a positive sign that Skywarp was still in there somewhere, that his bond with them was still stable despite the time and distance, it didn't tell them much about what might be going on inside his helm.

Put simply, Starscream worried. And he only ever worried about exactly three things in his life; his trine, how to kill Megatron, and Alexis.

Not a very long list of things he cared for, especially considering Alexis had only been around a few orns.

But even then he cared.

Cared as much as he ever had for his brothers.

His spark pricked him uncomfortably and he shifted his grip on the small human, his systems settling even as he felt Thundercracker slip into a low-charge mode.

He smiled, a small genuine smile at the sight they made. He had his trine mates and he had Alexis.

They were together now and that was all that mattered.

The rest could be dealt with at it came and Starscream was sure that with the three of them to protect her Alexis would be safe. So with that thought in mind his processors were lulled into recharge by the comforting purr of his own spark and that of his brothers.

* * *

"Slaggin frag it all to pit." Barricade moaned as he came out of recharge.

He well and truly felt his injures now more than ever. Barricade hated temp patches and he hated the sluggish feeling his systems took on while undergoing repairs. He preferred pain. Pain was simple and pain was a clear feeling. It was far easier to push through pain, embrace it even, than the dull, ache of healing.

The black and white mech cursed several more times before deciding move.

"Primus glitchin' fraggit…" And then he really started swearing. He also decided that maybe moving wasn't what he wanted to do just now.

Instead he looked around to see what he'd missed in his recharge.

He mouth plates fell open for a klick before closing, then opening again as he struggled to formulate a correct response to the sight of not one, but _three_ seekers sitting next to each other peacefully in the corner.

Eventually the black and white mech just vented heavily and scrubbed a servo down his faceplates.

" _Frag_."

He closed his optics and pretended to go back to recharge.

 _One klick._

 _Two klicks._

 _Three klicks._

Slag it all.

He rebooted his optics and looked back at the sight in front of him.

It might have been a tender sight to any other mech, but frankly, Barricade couldn't give a frag. The last thing he needed was two more seekers going glitchy over a tiny human fleshy.

Sure, he had grown… accustomed to the girl's presence in the past few ornaments, but she was nothing to fret over like he had seen Starscream fret over Alexis.

He knew well enough that she could take of herself.

He taught her after all. And surprisingly, she learned quickly and adapted well to whatever the environment was presented her. But that didn't mean that he would risk his cables to stick around with three seekers hyped up on guardian protocols. That never meant anything good for the general populous.

No, slagged systems or not he was out.

He wouldn't stick around to get caught up in the rest of this glitch-fest.

So he pushed past the pain and stood, venting heavily and leaning against the wall for support, but he stood.

And then he left.

He didn't bother looking back and he didn't feel any guilt. The girl would survive. She was strong and she had the elite trine on her side to top it off; she never really needed him.

Barricade simply felt no need to stay and babysit now that the full trine was here.

They would manage just fine.

He would manage just as well.


End file.
